Chapter 11 - the one where everyone was celebrating the birth of the newest Lupin and he walked into a room. Literally, that's all he did, he walked into a room.

It wasn't even a room he shouldn't have been in. It was a room he'd been invited to. It wasn't even one of those awkward, shit-I-just-walked-in-on-you-naked kind of moments. But it fucking floored him. It was the last nail in his coffin. Screw not being in love with her, he was head over bloody heels and when this academic year came to a close he was either going to die or he was going to be able to breathe for the first time in his life.

It was a Sunday. Tonks and Remus had put on a lunch to celebrate the birth of Teddy, inviting several others to come and meet him. Lily and Sirius were there with all six of their kids. Bill and Fleur were there, and the twins, all four of which kept giving Charlie sly grins and wicked smirks. Tonks' parents had come and so had Charlie's parents and Percy, and of course, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. Charlie had walked into the Lupin family quarters and been completely bowled over by the sight of Hermione Granger smiling lovingly down at the tiny bundle in her arms. What floored Charlie was the speed at which his brain could transition that to the idea of him and her with a baby of their own.

"Charlie!" Tonks cried, rushing over to him and breaking him out of his reverie. "Oh Merlin, it's so good to see you!"

"Tonks you saw me a few days ago," Charlie laughed, squeezing the woman tightly.

"I know, but not since I could hug you without Teddy getting in the way," she smiled tiredly.

"Yeah, congratulations by the way," Charlie grinned. "He's gorgeous, and I'm impressed you're well enough to do all this."

"I don't like sitting still," she said. "And I wanted to parade him round."

"As you should," Charlie laughed. "He's too good not to show off."

"Come on, come and sit down, you should hold him!" She squealed, shoving Charlie towards the sofa Hermione was currently perched on.

Charlie and Tonks had been in the same year at school, and they'd been pretty good friends despite being in two different houses. Their mothers had been good friends so they'd grown up together and known each other since they were little, something they found comfort in as they started school and lived away from their families for the first time.

Charlie was pushed down into the corner next to Hermione. She looked up at him with bright, adoring eyes full of wonder and awe. He couldn't help fall into them somewhat.

"D'you want to hold him?" She asked softly.

"I don't think I've got much choice," he said, shirking off his jacket and chucking it down the side of the sofa.

"It's easy, don't panic," she smiled. "Just, cradle your arms...yeah, just like that..." Hermione nodded as he moved his arms to resemble the position hers were in. "Just watch his head..." she said as she gently transferred the sleeping baby from her hold to his. "You've got it..." she whispered sweetly, her eyes meeting his briefly as she moved back and looked over his shoulder. That was truly the moment he knew he was screwed. If this girl didn't love him back, he was going to die.

Charlie looked down at the small, innocent and helpless baby boy in his arms, unable to stop his expression mimicking that of Hermione's only moments ago. He prayed and he wished and he willed so hard that when they got off the train at the end of this year, she'd tell him she was in love with him too. He smiled down at the tiny child, wanting nothing more in that moment than to build a future involving something like this for himself. And he knew he couldn't imagine a baby of his without her cute little nose and deep brown eyes. He was fucking floored. He adjusted the sleeping bundle gently, gasping as the little boy opened his eyes for a fraction of a second. Those big wide eyes melted Charlie, and his heart missed a beat as he felt tiny fingers curl around his own rather large one.

"He's beautiful isn't he?" Hermione whispered from over his shoulder.

"Yeah," was all Charlie could squeeze out, the rest of the world forgotten as he glanced briefly at Hermione once more. He smiled softly at her, feeling both hope and despair as she smiled back. The pair of them turned their gaze back to the baby.

"I haven't held a kid this small since mum had Ginny," Charlie chuckled. "I was seven..."

"I know what you mean," Hermione said. "I was eleven when my little brother was born. I haven't held a baby since."

"I remember them feeling a lot bigger," he frowned, before laughing as he watched her giggle.

"I have a feeling it's because we were a lot smaller," she grinned.

"Hmm, they do say you're the brightest witch of your age for a reason," Charlie chuckled.

"Oh my!" Molly Weasley suddenly exclaimed from across the room, drawing both Hermione and Charlie out of their strange little bubble and making them feel quite self-conscious.

"What's the matter dear?" Arthur frowned.

"Oh nothing, the photos, they're just much nicer than I expected them to be," she said, a shrillness to her voice that only came with her being excited about something she probably shouldn't be. Charlie narrowed his eyes at his mother who smiled all too knowingly at him. His heart did a summersault, because the one thing he did not need right now was his mother interfering, as much as he loved her.

"Oh wow..." Arthur's eyebrows were high on his head. "Yes dear, these are quite lovely..." he stuttered before nodding and handing them back. Molly quickly shuffled them in with the rest of the stack that she'd taken that day so far.

"Can I have a look Mrs Weasley?" Hermione asked politely.

"Of course you can dear," Molly said, handing Hermione the photos as she sat on the floor by her feet. He watched as Hermione smiled lovingly, looking at each photo.

"Muggle photos don't move, so, I rather like looking at the wizarding ones..." she started to explain as she trailed off, her cheeks going a little pink and her eyes glazing over slightly. It only lasted a few seconds before she'd pushed down whatever unexpected emotion she'd felt and carried on, clearing her throat as if nothing. "They really are beautiful Mrs Weasley," Hermione said, handing them back.

"I think so to," Molly smiled warmly at the young girl and squeezed her hand in a way that had Charlie looking a little puzzled.

"I'm going to go and find Harry and Ron, I'll see you all in a bit," Hermione said, waving at the small group before wondering towards the kitchen area, avoiding his eye specifically. Or at least that's how it felt.

.

Several hours later, following a wonderful lunch, he was in the kitchen finishing the washing up with his mother.

"Thank you for that Charlie," Molly said, smiling at her second oldest. "Remus and Tonks will be ever so grateful." He was always the more considerate of her children, helping without being asked and thinking of others before himself. It was one of the reasons why she so badly wanted him to find someone, because he was too good and kind and sweet not to have that kind of love in his life.

"It's fine mum, you know I don't mind doing it," he smiled back at her. He noticed the stack of photos on the counter at the corner of the kitchen and snatched them up as his mum began gathering a load of cups and mugs and the teapot. He started flicking through them, unaware of his mother's well trained eye on him.

As he got to the most recent lot he couldn't help but let out a small and almost inaudible gasp. He was looking at a picture that made his heart physically ache. How in the hell had he not realised his mother had her camera on him?! She'd basically captured the exact moment Charlie knew he was doomed. The exact moment that Hermione had settled herself next to him after passing him Teddy, that moment where she was looking over his shoulder at the baby but they'd caught each other's eyes. Fucking hell! It looked like they could have been the family he was only dreaming of.

"I'm not sure whether that one's my favourite or one of the few that come after it," Molly said, her arms folded as she stood behind her son peering at the photos. She gave him a pointed look to keep going and Charlie felt like he might cry as he placed them all on the counter with a heavy sigh.

There were another three that took his breath away and made him want to quit his job right then and there. They were wizarding photos too, so it wasn't just a captured second but a captured moment in its entirety. The first one was of him laughing as Hermione giggled, after his stupid comment about babies feeling bigger when he was seven. The second one was the other instance where they'd caught each other's eyes, exchanging a soft smile before gazing back down at Teddy. The last one...well...the last one had Charlie staring in awe at Teddy while Hermione's eyes were on him, a look in them he could only dream of. Then in the same photo they practically switched roles without realising. Her eyes flicked to the sleeping Teddy and his landed on her, a look so deep it was as if he wanted to drown.

"Fuck!" He whispered.

"Fuck indeed," Molly said in amusement as Charlie looked in astonishment at her. He'd never heard his mother swear before.

"I'll let you have that one, considering the circumstances," she said. "Besides, I raised six boys, where d'you think Bill learnt it from first?" Charlie guffawed at that one. "What? The first one is always the guinea pig. You don't think about it till they start picking it up." She shrugged.

"I love you mum," Charlie laughed.

"I love you too Charlie dear, but it would seem you also love our darling Hermione, wouldn't it?" She said softly.

"Mum..."

"Just be careful Charlie, I think she stands a good chance of getting just as broken as you," Molly said.

"I don't know..." Charlie shook his head.

"I think you do," Molly smiled softly as she pushed a picture into his hands, the one that showed Hermione looking at him as if she loved him just as much as he loved her.

"I don't know what to do," he whispered.

"You'll figure it out," she said.

"Can't you just give me the answers? Just this once?" Charlie pleaded.

"I'm sorry son, but I don't know them." Molly reached up and ran her fingers gently across her grown up boy's cheek, smiling affectionately at him. Charlie sunk into his mother, hugging her tightly and feeling as though he wanted to break with the reality of it all. He was in love with Hermione, and while there was hope she loved him back there was still no guarantee. The woman was going to destroy him, no matter what happened.

"Oh sorry!" Tonks jumped as she saw the rather intimate moment between mother and son that she'd just interrupted. "I'll come back-"

"Nah Tonks, its fine," Charlie said, forcing a smile.

"Really, because you don't look fine," She frowned. Molly handed her a photo and Charlie did his best not to glare at the wonderful woman that was his mother, especially when Tonks gasped at the image. Although what came out of her mouth next was a total shock.

"Holy shit! Remus wasn't kidding was he?!" She laughed, her eyebrows high on her head.

"What d'you mean? Remus wasn't kidding?" Charlie frowned.

"He might have mentioned to me about that time just before Christmas, where you were stuck-"

"Yes, I'm aware of the one you're talking about," Charlie growled, his mother stood perplexed and Tonks smirked smugly at him.

"He said there was something there, between you two," she said.

"There can't be, not yet. There's not allowed to be," Charlie sighed.

"What happened before Christmas?" Molly frowned.

"They got caught under mistletoe," Tonks sniggered.

"Really?!" Molly looked in surprise at her son.

"Yes, really," Charlie grumbled.

"But I thought that wasn't supposed to trap teachers and students?" Molly said.

"It's not, but they obviously don't see each other as teacher and student, do they?" Tonks grinned as she held up the photographic proof. Molly giggled at Charlie's anguished look and shook her head as he walked swiftly out the door, her favourite photograph in his hand.

"Who else knows?" Molly asked Tonks.

"Uh, everyone I think," she said. "The staff have a bet going to see whether they'll last the year."

"Won't Charlie lose his job if they don't?" Molly asked worriedly.

"Well, since Mcgonagall is in on the bet, I don't think he would. I think she can see he's struggling just as much as her. Not to mention she's Hermione Granger, not some lovesick, bumbling teenager who doesn't know her own mind." Tonks shrugged.

"Do we know she definitely feels the same way?" Molly asked quietly.

"Well, she hasn't spoken to anyone I don't think, but...from the way she reacts to him, and the way she reacted when she saw those pictures..." Tonks shrugged again. "I'd say it was pretty obvious."

"I really really hope you're right,"

Molly said, a forlorn look stealing her features. "Because I've never seen Charlie like this over anyone, and I don't think he'll be like this over anyone ever again."

"They'll figure it out," Tonks said, a little less assuredly than before.

.

"Oops! Sorry Granger!" Charlie grabbed her arms as he barrelled into her, almost knocking her down.

"I-it's fine, Charlie, fine," Hermione stammered. "No harm no foul and all that..." she laughed a little too high.

"Are you okay?" He asked with a frown.

"Uh huh," she said, nodding. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, but you look like you're freaking out if you ask me."

"What? That's ridiculous! I've got nothing to freak out about!" She almost shrieked.

"Come on..." Charlie took her hand and pulled her through Lupin's family quarters and the castle, out towards the Astronomy tower, marvelling in his ability to forget all his troubles in the presence of hers. He steered her to a small stone wall and sat her down, positioning himself at the base of it so he could look up at her. "Now, out with it..."

"What?!" She shrieked. "No! There's nothing wrong!"

"Hermione..." he gave her a warning look.

"Really..." she tried but failed and huffed out a very nervous and teary breath. "Have you seen those pictures yet?"

"Which ones?" He asked, having a fairly good idea what she was talking about.

"The ones of us, and Teddy?" She asked. Charlie gave her a small nod and felt his heart break at the terrified look in her eye.

"I'm sorry Charlie..." she whispered. "I didn't know...I didn't think...bloody camera..."

Charlie's mouth had gone inexplicably dry as he watched Hermione fumble over her words and basically shoot him down. He felt sick, as though nothing was ever going to be right in his life ever again.

"Hermione calm down, what are you trying to say?" he all but croaked out.

"I don't want things to change," she whispered. "I can't lose you, even as just my friend...I don't want to lose you..."

Charlie sighed, ignoring the fact that his heart was breaking into a bajillion pieces. He pulled himself off the ground and scooped her up into a hug. "You won't ever lose me, I promise..." he held her tight and felt his heart break some more.

"I'm really really sorry Charlie," she sobbed.

"Come on, enough of that you silly witch," Charlie tried to chuckle. "You can't help how you feel Hermione," he murmured. "Don't feel bad for something you can't help."

"But I just, Merlin it feels so awkward," she sniffed into his shirt.

"Really? Because you're doing pretty well right now." His chuckle was a little more natural and he let a tiny smile slip as he felt Hermione chuckle along with him.

"Are we going to be okay?" She asked, so quietly he barely heard her.

"Of course we are," Charlie breathed heavily. "Of course we are..."

"I'm so sorry Charlie, I really wish-"

"Don't apologise Hermione, really its fine," he said. "I'm just sorry it all turned out like this."

"Me too."

Charlie stayed with his arms around the woman just a little bit longer than necessary, and for someone who apparently felt the exact opposite to himself, she didn't seem to mind. That was the last real amount of time Charlie had spent with Hermione, avoiding her as best he could while still teaching her. Every night he went back to his quarters, lying in bed he thought about how close she was, and yet she was so far away. His heart had never hurt like it did now, his soul felt like it was on fire and in a deep freeze all at the same time. And he felt like such an idiot for believing he even remotely stood a chance. For believing his brothers and his mother and Sirius...everyone who'd nudged him into thinking his dreams were actually palpable. There was no way Hermione Granger would ever love him like that, he'd known it from the start and he should have listened to himself.