Chapter 11
Coming out
A few weeks had passed, and somehow Dan and Phil and both managed to keep what had happened under wraps without outwardly lying. Dan had told his family that he and Phil had been having a few issues, and he over reacted. They didn't really believe, but they decided to give Dan some space, as long as he promised to tell them if he ever got close to that again. It wasn't that Dan and Phil weren't happy or proud, they just wanted to give themselves some time to settle down. They wanted to come out when they were comfortable and ready, not when they were under pressure. The last few weeks had been bliss. They lounged around, uploaded videos, and just stayed with each other. They had decided however, that it was time. They couldn't keep lying to their family and friends, and it felt horrible to fake in front of their fans. Many times they had been approached in the streets and had to spring apart, act normal, and they just couldn't do it anymore. They had decided to tell their parents first. They didn't really think they would appreciate hearing about it from a YouTube video. Dan went first, and as he dialled their number, Phil noticed he was shaking. He gave him a quick kiss on the forehead and sat down next to him, holding his hand. "Hi mum" Dan stuttered. Dan had still been having a few issues with his self esteem, and Phil was helping. Dan felt as though everyone was staring at him and his arms, which would be permanently scarred. He felt like people were judging him, even if they didn't know. He had started to draw into himself about a week after he came out of the hospital. He became quiet and didn't want to go out. He kept true to his promise though, and told Phil, who always tried to reassure him. He was beautiful, and anyone who didn't agree wasn't worth his time. They had been leaving the house one hot day and Dab had put on a long sleeve T-shirt. Phil made him change, saying he needed to get back to his tanned self. Dan laughed, and when he came back out in a short sleeved shirt, Phil gently kissed each of his scars before taking his hand and leading him out of the apartment. Phil could see Dan starting to draw back into himself on the phone, and smiled at him. He mouthed "Do you want me to do it?" Dan looked pleadingly at him for a moment, but then shook his head resolutely. "Erm, mum? I've got something to tell you" There was a pause and then he took a deep breath, looking sure. As he opened his mouth however, panic took over again, and all he managed to say was "I'm dating." Phil heard Dan's mum's voice on the other end of the phone, it sounded like she was asking a question. Phil looked Dan right in the eye and nodded reassuringly. Dan sighed and said quickly "It'sphil". He took another deep breath while his mum spoke and said "I said I'm dating Phil mum. I have been for a few weeks." His mum asked him another question and Dan replied "Yes, that's why. I had been keeping it a secret for a while and then I k… something happened and I thought he hated me and I didn't know how to cope" he let it all out in one big rush of words. He sat there listening to his mum for a long time, and then passed the phone to Phil without saying anything. "Erm, hi Ms Howell" "Hi Phil, is Dan ok?" Phil sighed in relief. She didn't sound angry "Yes, I'm taking good care of him. He has moments some times, but he's coping well." She thought for a moment and the asked "Do you think him telling me will help? If it was going to make him worse I would rather he kept it a secret." Phil smiled slightly. She was just worried about her son. "No, I think this will help. It must be a huge weight off his shoulder having you know. I think he's just in a bit of shock. What did you say to him?" She laughed "I told him finally. He'd been single for much too long." Phil laughed too and then she said "Do your parents know?" He replied "That's the next call." She sighed "Ok. I'll let you go then. Phil?" Phil replied happily "Yes?" "Tell him I love him. Tell him its fine, as long as he's happy." Phil replied "I will".
Soon Dan was happy again, although it took a lot of reassurance from Phil. Now it was his turn, but he wasn't worried. He was pretty sure his mum wouldn't care, in fact he wanted to make this funny for Dan. After quickly planning what they were going to say, Phil dialled the number. "Hey mum" Phil said, and before she could reply he quickly continued with "Hey, I was wondering if I'm still grounded from the smoking thing when I was little?" She laughed and replied "Yes, forever. Why?" Phil smiled "Oh, Dan was just wondering if you could lift it for one night… so he could take me on a date!" His mother squealed down the phone "Oh really Phil?" He laughed "So cans he?" "Of course!" She spluttered. Phil passed the phone to Dan who said "I promise to have him back by 10". He listened to Phil's mum for a moment before saying good bye and hanging up the phone. When he had hung up, he burst into laughter. Phil groaned slightly and said "Oh no. What did she say to you?" Dan calmed down after a minute and managed to say "She told me that when she visits she better not hear any strange noises coming from your room!"
Soon they were both rolling on the floor laughing, and Dan ended on top of Phil. Phil managed to stop laughing long enough to say "Hey Dan, do you still wanna do my mum?" before Dan's lips were covering his.
The next stage had to wait for a few days, until the Saturday. One of their friends was throwing a party, and Dan and Phil had decided to go together, and see how long it took people to notice. They finished getting ready and climbed into Dan's car. They were wearing matching cat whiskers, and when they pulled up outside, Phil gave Dan a quick kiss before saying worriedly "Ready?" Dan nodded, smiling. Phil laughed slightly, Dan's whiskers had smudged, and he was sure his had too. They would probably be completely gone by the end of the night. Dan got out of the car and came round to Phil's side to help him out. They entwined their hands, and let themselves in. The party was already in full swing, but when their friend walked over, it didn't take long for him to notice the hands. He walked over and said "Hey Da- wait." He just looked at them for a moment and shrugged his shoulders saying "Hey Phan." Which made them laugh. Soon everyone was looking at them, and somebody started clapping. Soon everyone was doing it, and one by one they all started chanting "Phan is real, Phan is real!" Dan and Phil were laughing so hard that they didn't notice there friend come back behind them until he yelled "Now…. KISS!" Which they did.
They were at the last hurdle, and Dan seemed a lot happier than usual. Phil was worried about him suddenly stressing out, but he seemed fine. Today was the day they had planned to shoot the video, and the night before they had fallen asleep on the sofa, something they did quiet often now. Phil slowly removed his arm from around Dan, and started making pancakes. He wanted to make this day as special as he could, so he wanted to cook Dan some of his favourite food. When he had finished he went back into the living room with the plate and a wrapped present. Dan was already awake, and he was sat up on the sofa. This surprised Phil. Normally if Dan woke up and he wasn't there he would panic, thinking Phil had left him. No matter how many times Phil told him he wouldn't leave, Dan still didn't like waking up without him. Phil smiled slightly, Dan seemed to be getting better. He hoped today would help, and not make things worse. "Hey" he called out softly. Dan turned around and smiled "Hey. Ohhhh pancakes! Yum!" Phil sat next to him, handing him the plate and putting the box in front of him. "Hey, whats the occasion?" Dan asked "Nothing" Phil laughed "I just wanted to give you something" Dan suddenly looked crestfallen "I didn't get you anything" he said. Phil smiled again and said "I don't want anything. I've got you, and that's all I want" Dan interrupted, laughing "Coooorny!" Phil laughed and said "I am corny, it's how romance should be. Anyway" he continued before Dan could interrupt again "It's not anything big". Dan sighed and opened it, a smile quickly spreading across his face "Malteasers!" he yelled happily, before springing into Phil's arms. "My second favourite ship" laughed Phil. "Gotta love some danteasers" said Dan, smiling.
Soon Dan had eaten his pancakes and they were both washed and dressed. Phil went into his bedroom to look for his phone, and when he came back, the camera was all set up. Phil's eyebrows rose slightly as he came over and sat next to Dan in front of it. "Dan, the web show isn't scheduled to start for another hour" Dan smiled at him and said "I know, I just didn't want to be late. They had both tweeted the day before that they were doing a surprise web show and that they had a big announcement, and everyone seemed really excited, especially Dan. Phil snaked his arm around Dan's waist and Dan put his head on his shoulder. They both sat like that for a long time, just thinking. Eventually Phil asked "Are you sure you're ready Dan? Once we announce it on the internet there is no going back" Dan kissed Phil gently on the shoulder before saying "Yeah. I want to do this. I need to; it's the only way it's going to feel real to me." Phil laughed and hugged Dan to him tighter, whispering "Glad to see it's not only me who feels like this is a dream."
Soon the hour was up, and Dan and Phil switched the camera on. They were holding hands out of the cameras frame of vision. Phil kept looking at Dan out of the corner of his eye, looking for any signs of nervousness, but there were none. Dan seemed utterly confident for once, and Phil relaxed. It was time for the web show to start. "Hey internet" they said together. "Hi guys, everything's good here, not much to report really. We've been to Starbucks a few times…" Dan shut his eyes and went "mmmm, Starbucksssss". Phil laughed and said "But apart from that, not much." They carried on talking with their fans, and played a game or two. After 25 minutes, they not it was time to bring the web show to an end. "Well, guys. Looks like we'll have to say goodbye soon. But we did promise you an announcement" said Phil. Dan's smile grew even wider and said "One thing has happened to us recently that we didn't tell you." Phil could image the gasps around the world, and his smile grew wider "Our family and friends have had a bit of a shock recently, although they've coped very well." Phil waved and said "Thanks for that guys" and Dan laughed before continuing "Were going to let you guys in on the secret. We hope you cope with it well, and were sure some of you are going to be adjskflking." As he said it, Phil and him lifted up their entwined hands. "Me and Phil are dating!" Phil laughed, imaging their fans faces, their outrage that they kept it from them throughout the whole show. "Phan is real!" he cheered and they both turned to face each other. They leaned in, and right before their lips met, Dan turned to the camera and switched it off with a chuckle. "You are an Evil boy, Dan" Phil laughed, before kissing him.
