A/N: This is one of the chapters I was most excited about to write. I had several versions of this chapter and this one seemed the best to me, but I am not too happy with it. I have been working up to this chapter for quite some time so I sincerely hope you guys enjoy it.
Thanks to all of you for reading this story!
Special thanks to NatVidal, BenoightLangson, german reader, MrsChilton, HG and AlinaBelmonte!
I don't own Law and Order: SVU!
"And when her lips met mine, I knew that I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would ever compare to that single moment when I first kissed the girl of my dreams and knew that my love would last forever."
~ Nicholas Sparks
He was hovering somewhere on the edge of consciousness. There was a faint voice somewhere close by, but he failed to pinpoint the exact location. Instead he absorbed the gentleness of the familiar voice and listened to each word.
''I remember that moment, after the trial with Lewis, when you found me in the stairwell. I remember that you grabbed and held me so tight. You said you'd always be there for me, no matter what. Right there, in that moment I realized that I would never feel more safe, or loved.''
He tried force himself awake and open his eyes, to be able to see the face that voice belonged to. He could hear. He could feel. There was a gentle, soft hand wrapped around his. It was the combination of her voice and touch that had him right there on the edge of consciousness.
He could hear the faint sound of a heartbeat monitor, and breathing. Was it his own or hers? What had happened? Where was he?
Then suddenly he realized it. He had been shot. He could still remember the sound as the bullet was fired and hit him in the chest. Reliving that sound forced him awake. He gasped loudly as his eyes opened, panic settling into the pit of his stomach. His eyes flew across the room in desperation, seeking for a sign of anything familiar.
Olivia was seated in the chair beside his bed. She had just started speaking to him when out of nowhere he jolted awake in his bed. She immediately jumped up from the chair, holding onto his hand tightly.
''Rafael, you're okay.'' she whispered, seeing his eyes roaming across the room. ''You're okay.'' she assured.
He found her as she whispered those reassuring words to him. His eyes met hers and an unfamiliar calmness settled over him. Her eyes were hard, but with a soft expression in it. He was actually looking at Olivia's face and it made him feel at peace.
''Olivia.'' he mumbled, his voice dry and raspy as he barely managed to say her name.
She hovered above him, the emotion taken over at the sheer happiness of seeing him awake. She was still holding onto on his hand. The moment their eyes met she felt at home. It was exactly what she needed.
''I'm here. I am right here.'' she spoke softly.
With their eyes still connected, he attempted to form more words. ''Heredio?'' he rasped.
''There is an APB out for him and the squad is working around the clock to find him. We will get him. I promise you.'' she spoke with honesty. ''He won't get away with it.''
She could see he had many more questions. ''You've been out of it for twenty hours.'' she told him. ''The surgeon told us that the bullet didn't hit any major arteries, which how they were able to stabilize you rather quickly.''
''Okay.'' he whispered.
There was more she wanted to say, so much more. But he looked weak and vulnerable which is why she decided to wait. It was far more important for him to regain his strength for his recovery. But as he stared back at her with loving eyes, even in his moment of distress, she felt her heart skip a beat.
He gently squeezed her fingers in an attempt to comfort her since she was visibly shaking. He hoped she understood what he was trying to express. ''Liv…'' he coaxed, hoping she'd reveal whatever was on her mind.
''Hi,'' she smiled in response. But her wide smile quickly turned into tears as she squeezed his hand somewhat tighter. She moved to sit on the edge of the bed. ''I was so terrified when I saw you on the streets. I'd never been so scared before.''
''It will take a lot more than a bullet to sweep me off this earth.'' he joked, but stopped knowing she had more to say.
She grinned a little at his remark, knowing he was trying to lighten the mood. ''You were shot.'' she reminded him and she felt that terrifying feeling of not knowing resurface. Waiting as his life hang in the balance was the worst moment in her life. ''You could've died. You almost joined Dodds.'' she said desperately as she squeezed his hand tighter as if trying to reassure herself that he was alive. That he was awake, and trying to make her smile.
''But I didn't.'' he mumbled, his head turning to the side so he had a better view of her face.
Even as she tried to hide her fear, he easily recognized it. He saw it in her eyes, in the way her lips tensed, and her face remained stern. He knew her. He had admired her for so long that he knew every inch of her gorgeous face.
''You know, I could handle your transfer. I could handle losing our friendship. But actually losing you, you dying, that I can't handle.'' she managed to say. ''It took me so long to realize that I need you in my life. I can't imagine my life without you.''
She settled in a position until she was more comfortable, her other hand reaching out to cup his cheek. ''I am so sorry it took me so long to realize that. I've wasted so much time and I have hurt you so badly.''
''I have no idea how to do this and I know it's not going to be easy. But what I can say is that I love you. And I will show up and we're going to figure this out.'' she rambled on, not realizing the full extent of her admission.
Barba stared back at her in surprise, or maybe it was more complete shock. ''You what?''
''I love you, Rafael Barba.'' she repeated. ''I'm so in love you and I have been for a long time.''
He had only ever expected to hear those words from her in his dreams. Now it felt almost surreal. Although he felt joyous, his immediate thought went to Tucker.
''I ended my relationship with Ed.'' she cleared up as she noticed the doubt on his face.
He sighed in relief, a smile crossing his face and it stayed there. He was in a hospital bed recovering from a gunshot, and yet it felt like the best day of his life.
As she gazed into his green eyes all she could see was unconditional love. No resentment, no anger, no pain. Just plain and simple love. And it set her heart on fire. This was it, the moment she'd been waiting for and she gently leaned down, her lips grazing his cheek lightly and carefully.
The softness of her lips on his skin was enough to remind him how alive he felt in that moment. He reached out for her hand and gently took it in his own, unable to form any words. To hear those words from her was everything. It was all he'd been waiting for and it felt much better than he ever imagined.
''I love you, too.'' he whispered back at her as she pulled away.
Hearing the sentiment from him again, meant everything to her. He was seeing beyond her previous denial and confusion, and acting like the person he'd always been. She loved that about him.
''I am scared, Rafael.'' she told him, her voice low yet soft. ''Not because of my feelings for you. But of what would happen if this blows up in our faces. What if we lose everything? Our friendship. Our jobs.''
Her fears were the same he had mauled over too many times. In his wildest dreams, he imagined being with her and had thought through nearly every scenario. Including the possibility that a relationship between them may not last. But after weighing all the pros and cons, he found himself willing to risk everything for her, including his job. Because even the slightest chance at a happy life with her was all he needed.
His throat was dry and raspy as he attempted to respond to her. He watched as Olivia immediately sprang into action and returned to his bedside with a cup of water. As she carefully helped him drink the water, he felt relief at the ease it provided. He tried to push himself up off the bed, attempting to sit up, but he felt a sharp pain shooting through his chest.
''Stay down.'' she whispered. ''You've got to be careful.''
He laid his head back down, his eyes connecting with hers. He grabbed one of her hands into his, and held onto it tightly. ''Listen to me, please.'' he began. ''I've spent most of my life focusing on my career. I got into Harvard, I made it to the DA's office. And because I cared more about my career I haven't had a real relationship since Yelena.'' he said but stopped for a moment to catch his breath. ''The fact is, I wouldn't give up my life and career for anyone.'' he explained. ''But I would give it all up for you, Olivia.''
''You're not just my chance at a real relationship. You're the only person I've ever loved this way.'' he went on. ''And although you frustrate me to no end, I love you because you're real, and you're good, and compassionate. You make me a better person by just being in your presence.''
Olivia made no real response, instead leaned down and gently pressed her lips against his. The kiss was soft and gentle, filled with love. And as he responded, she realized something inside her exploded. It opened the floodgates, making her realize this was real.
Her lips were soft on his as she lingered for just a few seconds. He responded by connecting their lips once more, deepening the contact and igniting the passion he felt.
''I hate that you're so good at making arguments.'' she whispered against his lips breathlessly as she pulled away.
He felt her hot breath against his skin, setting his body on fire yet it was the wrong moment. He had to wait. Had to recover first before anything real could happen. And he wanted it to more than anything. ''Keep kissing me and I'll convince you to do anything.'' he teased.
She smiled at him through happy eyes. ''There will be enough time for that later.'' she promised with a wicked grin. ''But you need to rest. You have to get better first!''
''Just sleep for now.'' she insisted. ''I will be here.''
He slipped his hand around hers as she was about to pull away. ''Climb into bed with me.'' he insisted, moving his arm to make place for her.
She shook her head immediately. ''No, I won't hurt you.''
''Having you close is worth the pain, Liv.'' he argued instantly. ''It's fine. I am fine.''
She rid herself of her shoes and carefully let herself fall down next to him. She felt his arm slip around her body as she laid her head down on his shoulder, fortunately where he hadn't been hurt.
He took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of her warm body next to his. It felt so perfect as if they were two pieces of a puzzle which fit together perfectly. And he felt his eyes grow heavier, knowing everything was good in that moment. He was very much alive, and she was next to him. Life couldn't get much better.
''I love you.'' Olivia whispered against his shoulders, feeling the anxiety of the last few months leap from her body. She felt safe, and at home for the first time in years.
''You too.'' he murmured as his eyes closed in satisfaction.
Before either of them knew it, they drifted off into a peaceful sleep while in each other's arms.
In the hallway, the squad had gathered and were gazing into the hospital room at the same time. Their expressions ranged from surprise to a big grin.
''Who knew, huh?'' Fin whispered lowly to ensure they continued to sleep.
Rollins turned to Fin, rolling her eyes at his remark. His face still displayed shock after they found Barba and their boss in bed together. ''Hmm, everyone but them, Fin.''
''We should let Lieu know that we caught Heredio.'' Carisi said, interrupting the other two as he began to walk towards the room.
Rollins pulled him back by the arm with force. ''No, let them have this moment together.'' she countered.
They deserved a peaceful moment together after all that happened. It seemed they had finally found each other after too long a time, so she just wanted them to have that time together without any interruptions.
