Chapter 11

It had been two weeks since Eli had spent the afternoon with Ethan and all he wanted to do now was be with the man 24/7.

It was starting to drive Leanne insane.

Partly because she was doing her best to act like the man didn't exist.

But also because she knew that she couldn't give her son what he wanted.

And it was starting to break both of their hearts.

Especially when she realized that he had a birthday coming up, and she was fairly certain that there was only one thing he was going to ask for.

"What do you wanna do for your birthday Eli?" She figured it was worth a shot to ask him.

She knew that he would probably turn down a party. Just like he had last year.

He had told her it was because he wasn't in a party mood.

But then he had later revealed to her that it was because he didn't think any of his friends would come.

Instead they had gone to dinner and a movie with Jesse before enjoying ice-cream on the beach.

Eli had seemed perfectly okay with that and so she had run with it.

But she was hoping that this year was different.

"I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders without so much as a glance in her direction.

He had been focused on his drawing of a bunch of dinosaurs for almost an hour now and she had barely seen him flinch as she moved around the downstairs.

"Do you want to have a party?" She really hoped he said 'yes'.

She had always loved throwing Caitlin birthday parties.

And even though the little girl had only been seven when she had passed, Leanne had gone all out on her birthday's, starting with her first and ending with the last.

"I don't care." She knew that Eli didn't mean anything rude by it, but she was trying to teach him not to use that phrase when asked a question.

"Elias…" He snapped his eyes up toward her and he let out a soft sigh.

"Sorry mama." He set his crayon down before pushing himself up off the floor of the den and heading into the kitchen.

He climbed up into her lap without so much as a word and she was shocked when he wrapped his arms around her neck and snuggled against her chest.

This was a welcome change from the distant boy he had been the past few weeks.

"It's okay baby." She dropped a kiss to his head as she wrapped her arms around him tightly.

She was still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he was going to be six years old in less than a month.

It seemed like just yesterday that Jesse was placing his tiny little body in her arms while she was laid up in the hospital.

"Can Ethan come?" He whispered his question as he closed his eyes and she felt her heart ache in her chest.

"Come to what baby?" She wondered if Ethan would be able to convince him to have a party.

"To my party." He said softly. He lifted his head up and offered her a soft smile. "If I have a party, can I invite Ethan?"

She couldn't help but smile back at him.

As much as she wanted to hate the relationship that was brewing between the two she couldn't help but be drawn in by the giant smile on the boy's face.

"Of course you can invite Ethan." She couldn't deny him that one request.

"Can I have a dinosaur cake?" His eyes twinkled in the soft light of the kitchen and she felt her heart flutter in her chest.

"Absolutely." She'd let him have dinosaur everything if that was what he wanted.

"I'll have a party then." He said softly. "As long as there's dinosaurs."

"Sounds like a deal to me." She pressed another kiss to his forehead as he snuggled closer and she couldn't help but hug him tighter.

He may be distant sometimes, and he may be growing up way too fast, but he would always be her baby boy.

Of that much she was certain.

Eli had spent the rest of the weekend talking about his party and planning it all out for her.

She had felt like she had barely done any work, the boy's wild imagination taking over and telling her exactly what he wanted and how.

They had picked out invitations and decorations at the party store on Sunday and she had found a dinosaur cake design online that seemed simple enough for her to follow.

He had then helped her make his invitations that night after dinner and he had been over the moon about handing them out at school the following day.

She just hoped that he wouldn't be disappointed and that at least some of his classmates would come and celebrate with them.

After she had dropped him off at school that Monday morning she had headed to work with a heavy heart.

She was nervous to talk to Ethan about the party.

She had been pushing him away the past few weeks and she was scared that he would take his anger toward her out on Eli.

But, unfortunately, Ethan was nowhere to be found when she arrived at Angels that morning. So instead she had dropped his invitation through the small opening in his locker and she had gone about her business.

It was a quarter to five that night when she heard the soft knock on her office door and she feared who it could possibly be.

She was supposed to be leaving in fifteen minutes to pick up Eli from the sitter and she really didn't want to get stuck here any longer than necessary.

"Come in." She called softly, her eyes shifting up from the file in front of her as the door opened slowly.

"Just me." She couldn't help the small smile that formed on her face when Ethan appeared in the doorway.

"Hi." She set her pen down as she leaned back in her chair.

She would never admit it out loud, but she had missed him terribly these past few weeks.

Why she thought it was necessary to push him away she didn't quite understand.

"What's this?" He held up the envelop that she had dropped into his locker earlier and he locked eyes with her as he spoke.

"Did you open it?" She pushed herself up and out of her chair, moving around to stand in front of her desk as he shifted from foot to foot.

He was nervous about something and she didn't understand why.

"Yes." She could barely hear his reply and she stopped in her tracks just in front of him.

"Than you know what it is." She didn't know if he was playing stupid, or if he was genuinely confused about the invite.

"I thought I was getting too close." He whispered.

"You are." And he was, but her son didn't seem to think that his presence was overbearing, so she was trying not to let it turn into a big deal.

"So then why are you inviting me to his birthday party?" His question was valid and it broke her heart to know that.

"Because he wants you to come." Eli wanted nothing more than to share his special day with Ethan and he had spent the entire time they were picking out decorations asking if she thought that Ethan would like this and that.

"But you don't want me to come?" She could see the hurt in his eyes and it made her heart feel funny.

"I don't care what you do Ethan." That was a total lie. She wanted him there more than anything. Both for her son's sake, and for hers. "Come, don't come, it means nothing to me."

"But he wants me there?" He looked hurt by her reply and she let out a sigh at the flash of pain in his eyes.

"You were the first name on his guest list." And that part was true. She was certain that if Ethan hadn't been brought up that Eli probably wouldn't have agreed to the party at all.

"Look Leanne, I don't know why he's so enamored with me okay? I certainly didn't ask him to be." She knew that. She knew that Ethan hadn't done this intentionally. She knew that he was just as innocent in this as her son was. The bond that they had formed was special, regardless of whether or not it was planned. "But if he wants to be my friend, I'm okay with that. You're the one with the issue here."

"There's no issue here." She whispered. "Are you coming to the party or not?"

"Of course I'm coming." He didn't skip a beat with his reply.

"Thank you." She didn't know why she was thanking him.

Maybe because she knew that if she had to tell Eli that he wasn't coming he would be heartbroken.

"What can I get him?" He asked quietly. "Does he need or want anything in particular?"

"You don't have to get him a thing Ethan." And she meant it. She knew that Eli didn't expect a lot. Mainly because she had never been able to give him much in the way of gifts. "He'll be over the moon just knowing that you're there."

"Well I've gotta get him something." He smiled softly as he relaxed his shoulders a little, his hand moving to deposit the small envelop into the back pocket of his jeans.

She hadn't noticed that he had changed into regular clothes until that very moment and she let her eyes wander over his body.

She would never deny that he was an attractive man. Never in a million years.

"Leanne…" She must have gotten lost in her own thoughts about the man and his well dressed body because his voice made her jump. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She felt herself blushing and she shook her head when he offered her a knowing smirk. He had caught her giving him a once over and she was beyond embarrassed. "Sorry."

"It's okay." He whispered.

"He'll be happy with whatever Ethan." She said softly.

She wanted to disappear in that given moment.

Mainly because she was now painfully aware of how attracted to him she was physically. But also because she caught him giving her a once over as well.

"I'll think of something." He offered her a wink as he shifted on his feet again. "I'm gonna get going."

She simply nodded her head at his words as she swallowed.

The tension in the room had just thickened ten fold and there was a tiny part of her body that was aching to take the few steps forward to close the distance between them.

"Goodnight Leanne." He whispered.

And then he was gone before she could even process what had just happened.

She felt her heart start to race in her chest as her mind went to a place that it shouldn't be.

Especially not when it involved him.

Never when it involved him.

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