A/N- I will be the first person to admit that I don't know jack shit about being a lawyer or anything about policies and rules, I just hope this chapter doesn't come off sounding too stupid.
Chapter 11
Clay knew something was wrong with Hannah the moment she walked out of her front door. She had been crying and quite heavily judging by the puffy, red eyes and tear streaks she was sporting. However, she tried her best to appear unaffected by anything and gave Clay a kiss on the lips before leading the way out of the Baker's front yard.
If there's one thing Clay has learned about Hannah, is that it's always best to get straight to the point with her, because Hannah absolutely hated it when somebody tried to beat around the bush with her. So Clay asked the question, "What happened?"
Hannah snorted loudly, but it wasn't a snort of amusement. Rather, it sounded more like a cross between laughter and crying. "I fucked up," she said.
"How?" asked Clay.
"Mom and Dad. They found something."
"What did they find?" said Clay cautiously.
Hannah seemed to hesitate. "A list."
"A list of what?" pressed Clay. Something about this didn't seem right, he could feel the tension building up between he and Hannah, and could see that Hannah was fighting back tears.
Hannah took a deep, shaky breath before answering. "A list of the people on the tapes."
She said it so quietly, Clay wasn't completely sure he heard it correctly. But then it hit him.
"Wait, what do you mean your parents found a list of all the people who were on the tapes?" demanded Clay, probably a little too harshly, because Hannah flinched.
"Mom was doing some spring-cleaning around the house, and she was having a look through my wardrobe and she found it and oh fuck I've fucked this up." Hannah burst into tears when she said the last few words, and Clay stopped them in the middle of the sidewalk to pull her into a hug.
"So what's wrong?" he asked gently, stroking the back of her head softly.
"Mom and Dad, they want to..." Hannah's voice trailed off.
"They want to what?"
Hannah sniffed loudly before answering. "They want to get to the bottom of this."
"Hannah, you need to be more specific. You are talking to the guy who didn't know you loved him till you said it to his face," said Clay. It was a stupid attempt to lighten the mood, but it worked, even if it was only a little bit.
Hannah giggled, but her face became sombre as she pulled away from Clay. "Clay, they're going to sue the school."
oOoOoOo
"They're WHAT?!" Zach all but shouted in front of the whole school.
"Quiet down," scolded Tony softly yet firmly, and Zach sat back down in his seat, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
"My parents want to sue the school," said Hannah once the many eyes that had turned their way looked elsewhere. "They're convinced that the school could have done something to prevent what happened and they've gotten it into their heads that I did what I did because I was bullied."
"Well, they're not exactly wrong," quipped Sheri.
"I know, but this isn't how I wanted things to happen. I wanted this to happen on my terms," said Hannah softly.
"Well we can't change anything now. So what do we do?" asked Alex.
"I don't know," said Hannah. "Perhaps we could deny everything that happened."
"Including what Bryce did to you?" said Zach incredulously.
"No! I mean... ugh, I don't know," groaned Hannah burying her face in her hands.
Clay had been silent throughout Hannah's explanation of what was about to happen to everyone else, and his hands had balled into fists. Hannah seemed to sense Clay's tension and cocked her head to the side, silently asking him if he was okay.
"We could use this to our advantage," he said suddenly, and everyone looked at him with quizzical looks.
"What do you mean?" asked Tony.
"This is exactly what we've been waiting for. The right moment to bring your story to light," explained Clay, looking directly at Hannah, who was sitting directly opposite him.
"But Clay..." Hannah started.
"It's for the best Hannah. And it won't be your word against everyone else," cut in Clay as he grabbed Hannah's hand and gave it a light squeeze. "Everybody here is willing to back you up, and we've got the evidence to prove it."
"The tapes?" said Sheri, and Clay nodded his head.
"It won't be enough," said Alex.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't think the court will take Hannah seriously. Even if we were all to support her, we weren't there with Hannah when Bryce... you know," explained Alex.
"Shit, he's right," muttered Zach.
"Then how the fuck are we going to win this if it does come down to a full-on lawsuit?" asked Sheri.
"Clay, your mom's a lawyer, right?" said Tony.
"Yeah, why?" asked Clay.
"She'll know all the laws and regulations and shit. Maybe you could ask her about it."
Clay shook his head. "I don't think that will work," he said.
"You could ask her theoretically?" suggest Alex.
"No, she'd see through me from a mile away. Besides, I don't want to involve more people than necessary," said Clay, feeling hopelessness seep in.
"She could get involved," said Hannah.
"How?" asked Clay.
"My parents could hire her law firm," she suggested.
"No that wouldn't work either, I don't think. She'd be seen by the jury as bias towards the prosecutors."
"That's not a bad thing, is it?" said Sheri. "I mean, it'd just mean that she would work harder to find and present the evidence."
Clay honestly hadn't thought about that. "Fine, I'll ask her about it tonight," he conceded.
"And I'll talk to my parents about hiring your mom's law firm," said Hannah.
Nobody spoke for a few moments, though Zach and Tony would occasionally glare at anyone who got to close to them.
"Looks like everything's gonna go to shit," muttered Alex.
Nobody bothered to disagree with Alex.
oOoOoOo
"Hey Mom, can I ask you something?" asked Clay.
He was helping his mother clean up after dinner that night, and the two were currently washing and drying the dishes.
"Sure honey, what's up?" said Mom.
"Well... I was just wondering but, could somebody be arrested for a crime if the victim confessed?" he asked.
"Well that depends on the crime and the evidence given," said Mom, frowning slightly.
"So let's say somebody made an audio confessing that they were physically abused, would that be enough?" pressed Clay.
"If the victim was willing to give a statement in court, maybe."
Damn. Clay knew that Hannah was still on the sidelines about that, but Clay had to try. For her. Suddenly an idea popped into his head.
"What if the perpetrator were to somehow confess to their crime?"
"Then it might be enough," said Mom.
That's it! All Clay had to do was somehow get Bryce to confess to raping Hannah and Jessica. But how?
"Clay, what's this all about? Why the sudden interest in law?" asked Mom.
"It-it's nothing Mom, just a theoretical question," lied Clay.
Mom put down the plate she was drying and turned her body so she was looking straight at him. "Clay, has something happened to you?" she asked worriedly.
"What? No I'm fine really-"
"Is it about Hannah's court case?"
Clay froze. How did she know that?
"The Bakers called me this afternoon," explained Mom. "They want me to represent them." She took a tentative step forward towards her son. "Clay, did something happen to Hannah? Is this about why she tried to kill herself?"
"I... I can't say Mom. It's not my place," said Clay quietly, afraid that if he spoke any louder his mother would hear the turmoil in his voice.
"Clay..."
"I can't Mom. Hannah trusted me with her secrets. If she wants to tell you, she can. But I'm not betraying her."
"Even if it's for her own good?"
Clay leveled his mother with an angry look. "A lot of people have said that to her, and look where it got her," he said lowly, and with that he walked up to his room and slammed the door behind him.
oOoOoOo
Three days later, Clay was having his breakfast whilst trying his best to ignore the looks his parents were giving each other.
"You guys can stop with the mental communication," huffed Clay finally.
"Oh look, he's discovered our secret," said Dad dryly.
"Not a very well-kept secret," deadpanned Clay.
"Touché. Did you want to tell him?"
Clay looked up from his breakfast. "Tell me what?" he asked.
Mom sighed, and leaned back in her chair. "The Bakers are going to move forward with the case, and have issued a subpoena to all the kids at your school whose names were found on a list," she said. "Including yours."
Clay couldn't say that he was surprised, and his lack of emotion at the news was enough to make his parents look at him funny.
"You're not surprised?" asked Dad.
"Not really. Well, I am a little about the summoning but Hannah told me about the list," said Clay.
"Do you know why you're on this list?" asked Mom.
"Yes. And if Hannah wants I'll tell the court everything I know," replied Clay.
"You can't defend Hannah forever," warned Mom.
"I can try," growled Clay before he stood up, grabbed his school bag and walked out the door, leaving stunned parents in his wake.
Clay was fuming right up until he picked Hannah up from her house, and Clay instantly felt at peace when her saw her, the anger simmering down till it was barely noticeable. They said nothing the whole way to school, instead merely taking comfort in one another's presence. Clay should have known that things were going to get worse when he saw Justin marching up to them with a blazing look in his eyes the moment they walked through the front door.
"What the fuck Baker!" shouted Justin.
Clay subconsciously pulled Hannah behind him in a protective gesture. "Fuck off Foley," he warned.
"She's going to ruin us! And you're helping her!" bellowed Justin, pointing an accusing finger at Clay and Hannah.
"Like you ruined her?" challenged Clay, his own temper steadily rising.
Justin responded by shoving Clay to the floor, then stepped over him to reach Hannah, who had taken a few steps back from the raging boy. Clay saw red and without hesitation, he tackled Justin from behind to the floor and slammed his fists into Justin's face.
Clay's vision had gone black, the only thing he could see was Justin's face at the end of the dark tunnel, and he knew with all his being that he had to protect Hannah. So he didn't stop his fists from slamming repeatedly into Justin's face, and soon his knuckles were covered in blood, but Clay kept going.
He felt two pairs of strong hands grab Clay's arms and yank him up, but Clay fought against them. He had to protect Hannah, he had to because she had already suffered enough and he'd be damned if he let it happen again. Justin remained lying on the floor, his face covered in his own blood and was beginning to already swell.
Clay realised that a crowd had gathered around him, Justin and whoever was holding Clay back, and his eyes sought out Hannah. She had been somehow pushed to the back of the crowd, and she looked terrified of what had just happened. As quickly as it had come, the hate and anger fled Clay's body, replaced with repulsion for his own actions. He ducked his head in shame, and didn't comprehend that somebody was dragging him away from the scene of the crime.
He was led through the school halls towards the administration offices before he was brought into the principal's office, where Principal Bolan and Mr Porter were waiting.
"Thank you Mr Dempsey and Mr Padilla," said Mr Porter sternly, his eyes never leaving Clay.
Clay heard the door close behind him, but he didn't see the sympathetic looks his friends gave him.
"Have a seat, Mr Jensen," said Mr Bolan.
Clay obeyed and sat down in one of the chairs, and he looked down at his bloody knuckles. The blood didn't belong to him, he realised. It was Justin's. Clay didn't even realise he was capable of such violence, but then again he was willing to do whatever it took to protect Hannah.
"Well? What do you have to say for yourself?" asked Mr Porter, breaking Clay from his thoughts.
"Nothing," said Clay.
"Nothing?" scoffed Mr Bolan. "Mr Jensen, you just beat our school basketball captain senseless in the middle of the school hallway and you have nothing to say?"
"I was protecting Hannah," said Clay flatly, his voice betraying no emotion.
"Hannah?" said Mr Porter incredulously. "What does Hannah Baker have to do with this?"
"Justin was about to attack her, so I did what any honourable man would do," said Clay.
"This isn't the Dark Ages, Mr Jensen," said Mr Bolan, "we have systems in place for this sort of thing now."
"And how well have they worked out for you?" snapped Clay. "Because you sure as hell didn't know that a girl was being bullied to the point where she tried to kill herself until it was too late."
Mr Bolan and Mr Porter gave Clay blank looks.
"I'm not sure we're following you," said Mr Porter uncertainly.
"Really? So you're denying that you had any knowledge of what was happening to her?" growled Clay.
"Because there were no signs!"
"Of course there were fucking signs!" shouted Clay. "How else do you explain when one of the most outgoing girls in the school suddenly becomes reserved, rarely interacts with others in class, suddenly changes her style and even comes to the guidance counselor for help!
"I was too late to see the signs, but I blame the school for not doing their job and figuring it out," finished Clay. He then stood up from his chair and walked towards the door, but paused at when he was halfway through the doorway. "For your sakes, you better hope I'm in a good mood when I get subpoenaed," he threatened before slamming the door behind him, ignoring the calls for him to come back.
Clay wanted to go straight to Hannah, but he feared what her reaction would be. It was very unlike Clay what he did, first to Justin and then threatening the two most powerful men at Liberty High, but right now he didn't care. He just wanted to find his girlfriend to see if she was alright.
He found her sitting in the courtyard, surrounded by the others. Zach and Tony were standing with their arms crossed like bodyguards, their eyes blazing cold as ice, never lingering on one person for too long. When they saw Clay, Zach and Tony stiffened slightly as he came nearer to them. They moved in perfect synchrony and blocked Clay's view of Hannah. While Clay was touched by their loyalty to Hannah, he was also angry that their hostility was directed towards him.
"Let me through," said Clay lowly.
"Are you sure?" asked Tony. "You did freak out before."
"I'm fine. Now let me see my damn girlfriend!" snarled and he shoved past the two boys roughly. He dropped down on his knees in front of Hannah and rested his bloodied hands on her knees gently.
"Are you okay?" asked Clay quietly.
Hannah nodded her head, but she wouldn't meet his gaze. "You didn't have to do that," she whispered.
"Do what?"
"Protect me like that."
Clay scowled. "Yes I did, Hannah. Justin was coming after you," he said fiercely.
"You don't know that," argued Hannah, who finally looked at Clay.
"I know what guys are like Hannah, and I wasn't going to let Justin hurt you ever again." Clay's scowl turned into a frown. "What happened to him anyway?"
"A couple of teachers took him to the nurse's office and the ambulance showed up not too long ago," said Tony from behind Clay. "You really fucked him up man."
"Good," muttered Clay. He had no sympathy for the boy right now, despite whatever shit he was going through.
"That was very un-Clay of you," continued Tony. "I've never seen you lose your shit like that ever, and I've known you for years."
"Geez, thanks. Your sympathy is touching," muttered Clay.
"Clay, your hands," Hannah said quietly. Clay looked down at his hands, the knuckles still bloody. He could also feel them starting to sting as the adrenaline left his system.
"It's not my blood," said Clay nonchalantly.
"Looks like some of it is," retorted Hannah, taking his hands in her own and inspecting them closer. She scowled, and when she prodded one of his knuckles and Clay hissed in pain, the expression only deepened. She stood up then, still holding Clay's hand and said, "Come on, let's get this washed off," and dragged him over to the nearest tap.
"Ow," hissed Clay when the cold water made contact with his skin. Hannah ignored him and went about her work, massaging the blood off his hands as gently as she could, the frown never leaving her face.
When the blood had been washed away, it revealed bruises and cuts that Clay hadn't even realised were there before. His right hand in particular was beginning to swell, a dull throb pulsing through his veins.
"Shit, I should start taking fighting classes," joked Clay, but his laughter was silenced by the cold look Clay gave him.
"I don't want you hurting yourself for me," said Hannah, a pleading look in her eyes.
"I'm not gonna stand by and watch you get hurt. Not again," said Clay, his throat tightening unpleasantly.
"Clay..." pleaded Hannah.
"No," said Clay with so much commitment it startled Hannah. "I made a promise, and I intend to keep it."
Hannah didn't say anything to that. She only nodded her head and led Clay back to their friends. They weren't alone however, as Mrs Bradley was waiting for him.
"Mr Jensen, I need you to come with me," she said tightly.
"Is something wrong?" asked Hannah worriedly.
"I'm not at liberty to speak about it, I just have to bring Clay to the office," said Mrs Bradley.
"It's fine," said Clay. He pecked Hannah on the cheek. "See you later?"
"Sure," said Hannah and she gave him a small smile.
Clay followed Mrs Bradley to the office, and found his furious-looking mother waiting in the principal's office. He knew that look. It was the 'I'm-gonna-fuck-you-up-when-we-get-home' look. Luckily Clay had only been subjected to it a few times in his life, and never during all his teenage years. Until today that is.
"Come in Clay," said Mr Bolan. When Clay sat down he continued. "We have talked to other witnesses, and they all seem to confirm your side of the story. Unfortunately, we will have to suspend you because we cannot allow students to simply attack other kids, even if the circumstances warrant such behaviour."
Clay wasn't surprised, he knew his actions would have resulted in a suspension. But he was more angry about the why.
"So I was supposed to just stand there like a good boy and watch my girlfriend be assaulted?" growled Clay. Mom lay a warning hand on his shoulder.
"That's not what we're saying. We believe it would have been best if you came to a teacher before taking action yourself," said Mr Bolan calmly.
"If I did that, by the time a teacher would have come around Hannah would have already been hurt!" shouted Clay, rising from his seat and shrugging off Mom's hand angrily.
"We are aware of that but-"
"No, you're not! If you were I wouldn't be getting suspended for defending someone! What's Justin's punishment? A slap on the wrist?!"
"Mr Jensen I would advise you to-"
Clay threw his hands up in the air and growled. "Oh bugger that. Just tell me how many days I'm out of school for so I can get out of here," he snarled furiously.
"An offence like this would normally warrant a five-day suspension, but given your consistent good grades and your membership on the school honor board, we have reduced it to three days," said Mr Bolan. "I am sorry it had to come to this."
He sounds so defeated. Good, thought Clay as he left the office, followed closely by Mom.
His mother said nothing until they were in the car.
"What is going on Clay?" she asked, or rather, demanded. "First you're asking strange questions and now you're starting fights in school?"
"I didn't start the fight," said Clay.
"Why did you beat that boy up? He hasn't done anything to you!"
Clay snorted loudly. "You mean he hasn't done anything to me that you know of," he said derisively.
Mom's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"
"I'm not saying anything until we go to court," said Clay. When his mom opened her mouth to protest, he stopped her. "I'm sorry, but I just can't."
His mother said nothing for a few minutes and the rest of the ride back home was quiet. When they pulled into their driveway though, Mom said something he would never expect.
"For what it's worth, I'm proud of you for sticking up for Hannah, Clay."
oOoOoOo
A sickening glee consumed Clay's emotions. His hands were bloodied and his knuckles swollen and purple. Justin lay on the ground, his face ten times worse than Clay's hands. He felt good, beating that kid. He would never hurt Hannah again, not if Clay could help it.
Suddenly, Justin's shape began to change. His hair grew longer and his body shrank, but also grew in other places till it was feminine shaped. The change stopped, and Justin was no longer there.
Hannah lay there, her wrists slit open and blood dripped out of them, staining the ground in crimson paint. Her eyes were glassy and lifeless as she stared up at Clay. His strange happiness was replaced with confusion, then panic.
"No, I was too late," said Clay, looking at the sight of his dead girlfriend in horror.
Hannah's lips began moving wordlessly, and Clay crouched down so he could hear what she was saying.
"You couldn't save me... you couldn't save me," she whispered, her voice devoid of any emotion.
The words hit Clay like a sledgehammer, and he lurched backwards, scrambling backwards as fast as he could away from Hannah, but as fast as he tried to move, Clay wasn't going anywhere. He couldn't escape. Hannah's body stayed exactly where it was, those damned words continuing to flow from her mouth.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," whimpered Clay, and he raised his hands to his face to shield his eyes.
He felt something wet dripping down his face, and when Clay touched the substance and pulled his hand away, his finger was coated in fresh blood. He saw a reflection of himself and the blood was coming from the cut on his forehead.
"You couldn't save me..."
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."
Clay looked down at his hands, and they were holding razor blades covered in blood. Hannah's blood.
"NOOOO!" screamed Clay, and he jolted out of his bed, breathing heavily and covered in sweat.
He jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him, then dumped the contents of his stomach into the toilet.
"You couldn't save me..."
"Stop, stop," moaned Clay, cradling his head in his arms once the vomit stopped coming out.
"You couldn't save me..."
"No. Stop stop stop stop STOP! STOP IT!" Clay shrieked at the top of his voice. He started to bang his head against the wall over and over again.
"Clay! Honey what's wrong!" came the sound of Mom's voice from behind the closed door.
"NO NO NO! STOP!" The voice wouldn't leave Clay's head. It was taunting, mocking him for things outside of his control.
Deep down, Clay knew that he had saved Hannah's life, but that didn't make the voice any less real.
Behind Clay, the door was kicked open and both his mom and dad barged in to see their only son sprawled on the floor, whimpering and shaking like a beaten dog. Mom gathered Clay into her arms and rocked him gently, whispering words of comfort in his ear while tears streaked down her face.
Dad, using all his strength, picked Clay up from the bathroom and carried him back to his room, his mother refusing to let go of his hand. Clay continued to shiver, both from the sweat on his body that was starting to dry, and the paralysing fear that gripped him. His father gently laid him down on the bed and tucked him into his blanket, while his mother stroked his hair softly.
Eventually, Clay fell into a fitful sleep, but the dream did not come back to him that night.
A/N- Firstly, some of you might be wondering why Clay is a little OOC in this chapter. Let me just say that this is a darker Clay than what's seen in the shown and he's suffering from PTSD because of what he's seen, similar to how Hannah had that panic attack in one of the previous chapters and she had to go to Clay's house to calm down. Hence the nightmare at the end of this chapter. This will continue to affect both Clay and Hannah throughout the next chapters.
I've found PTSD to be one of the more destructive mental illnesses based on what I've seen because it affects people differently and there's no real way to see the signs. My grandfather has it from experiences in war and it really fucks him up sometimes. I wanted to focus on that this chapter and talk about it the way my grandfather describes it, and I only hope I've done it justice.
