A/N - Here it goes! Made it extra long; I hope you like it :)
I do not own anything from the Divergent trilogy**
I close the door behind me once I reach my room, taking my shoes off. I sigh and bang my head once against the door as I think
of that last conversation. It wasn't something I wanted to watch… What the hell is wrong with me? I grab my shirt under its hem
and I start bringing it up my body when I hear a knock behind me; a knock that won't stop bothering. Eric.
"What do you want?" I shout at him.
"Don't fall asleep and leave me off again with those stupid initiates of yours. It's capture the flag time." I groan in response.
Capture the flag time, meaning I have to lose so Eric won't beat the shit out of me. I sigh and close my eyes, rubbing my forehead
with my and then sagging it down the right side of my face.
"Fine," I respond. "I'll be right out."
I position my shirt back and grab a hoodie, placing it around me, and I grab my watch, placing it around my wrist. I inhale once,
and let it out long after my lungs are filled with air. I turn back and open the door, only to encounter a pissed off Eric, holding two flashlights. He hands me one as he checks his watch. Looks like he wants his victory to approach faster.
"Lauren is waking up the Dauntless-born. Let's go." He says, already trotting down the hallway.
I roll my eyes and follow, as if I ever had another choice. But I do. I can leave off to the factionless right now if I desire,
but I feel a new hope building up inside me. I can't go, not yet. I follow Eric through the Pit and down another series of hallways, inviting people in to awake the initiates, as if it were their favorite source of entertainment. We reach the outside of the transfers' dormitory, and Eric holds the handle and pushes the door open, letting everyone trudge in without invitation. How polite.
"Everyone up!" Eric roars. Around me, everyone rubs their eyes or blinks in confusion, trying to process what is going on,
and they stand up. I can feel Tris's eyes on me, and I don't know why, but my heart starts to speed up. I really have to stop
this madness. Her eyes shift to Eric's, and he stares back.
"Did you go deaf, Stiff?" he says. After that, she snaps and comes back to life, getting out of her bed. Besides her, Christina
stands up in with only a T-shirt, her legs bare underneath her, and I get uncomfortable. She is bold, though, as she stares Eric
down, her arms crossed, her eyes fierce. If Eric would ever see me in a T-shirt and no pants, I would cower down and never leave
my bed. What am I thinking? Stop being a sissy! I tell myself. I blink and shake my head, snapping back to the present.
"You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks," says my best friend, Eric. "We're going on another field trip"
He turns around and leaves, all the Dauntless, and me, on his heels. Eric shoos them off at the Pit, since they have nothing to
do with this game of ours. They shout and complain, but Eric stares at them boldly and they leave, still complaining because of
this unfairness. And they think this is the only thing that's unfair, I think. I follow Eric up to the tracks, where the ammunitions are already set and ready to go. He moves over and grabs a gun, loading it with paintballs, and trudges down to the center of the
roof. He looks at me expectantly. I look back. "Well?" he says.
I move forward with a sigh and repeat his actions, joining him at the roof's center just when the initiates, both Dauntless-born
and transfers, come in, some rubbing their eyes, some carrying expressions of confusion on their faces. Next to the pile of guns,
Tris laughs as she reads the boxes with the word "PAINTBAllS" written on it, probably finding the of shooting each other
with guns with the goal of capturing a flag absurd.
"Everyone grab a gun!" shouts Eric. All at once, the initiates rush towards the pile of guns and they each take one before takin
g a box and loading their stupid, yet powerful weapons. I look up at the sky, expecting to see something I haven't seen in a long
time; stars. Only the moon is on view tonight, probably feeling lonely for being the only peaceful thing in this world of madness and insecurity.
"Time estimate?" Eric asks. I snap out of my gaze, realizing he's asking this to me. To this day, I still don't know why I act
like his slave, obeying every command of his. Until I remember, he's more powerful than I am. He has more control. I look down
to check my watch. It's 10:14. "Any minute now," I respond. "How long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule?"
"Why should I, when I have you to remind me of it?" He replies, roughly shoving my shoulder. I got the urge of slapping his face
out of his body, piercings and all, but I'd probably end up in a worse situation than this, so I try to control myself. A circle of light
shines on my right, growing larger as I observe everyone getting ready. Tris's eyes are set on my cheekbones, but I try to ignore it, thinking once again of the moon, and wondering if I'd ever get to join it only to get out of this place. I watch everyone as they
watch me, as If I were their guide, so I decide to act first. I turn around and run for the train, getting in as easily as ever. I turn
around to meet Tris, jogging by the train's side, and I reach out my arm for her. She grabs my arm, and I haul her in, aware
that she is feeling the pressure in my muscles. She quickly lets go of me and, without glancing once towards my direction, she moves
to the other side of the car and sits down. I intended to look back, but instead I help the rest of the crowd get in, biting my
lips as I do so.
Once everyone is set, I speak up. "We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members, Dauntless-born initiates, and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second
team will get off and do the same." The car moves, trying to make me lose balance, and I grab the doorway beside me for support. "This is a Dauntless tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously."
"What do we get if we win?" Someone shouts at me. Dirty looks of hatred, I think. I remind myself that Eric and I are on the
same train car, so I speak as Dauntless as I can. "Sounds like a question someone not from Dauntless would ask. You get to
win, of course."
"Four and I will your team captains," says Eric before looking at me, his eyes wide with anticipation. "Let's divide up transfers
first, shall we?"
"You go first," I say. I hate choosing first. Eric shrugs in reply.
"Edward." He says, as I suspected, since Edward was his favorite initiate.
I lean against the frame and nod, thinking of who to choose, though I already know the answer to that. I inspect the crowd
before me in a brief motion before I mention the name of who I think, who I know, will be the key to all of this. I chose the
person I know I can trust the most out of all these people. "I want the Stiff." A burst of laughter rises up from the back of the car
as Tris starts to blush. It feels weird, picking her over all the talent in here, but I know she has to prove herself to the rest.
"Got something to prove?" says Eric with his usual smirk. "Or are you just picking the weak ones so that if you lose, you'll
have someone to blame it on?"
I shrug, thinking of how foolish he's going to look after I finally win. "Something like that." I lie.
I wait for some of the laughter to calm down before I speak again, proud of my strategy. "Your turn."
"Peter." He says.
"Christina."
"Molly."
"Will." I bite my lip, thinking of whom else I can depend of.
"Al."
"Drew."
"Last one left is Myra," says Eric. "So she's with me. Dauntless-born initiates next."
The others stop paying attention as soon as we start picking the Dauntless-born. Since I really don't know them well, I chose
those whoI believe are faster, stronger. In between those people stand Uriah and Marlene. After every initiates is part of a team,
Eric smirks at me. If I was him, I would keep my mouth shut if I knew what I was going for.
"Your team can get off second." He says.
"Don't do me any favors," I say with a small smile. "You know I don't need them to win." Which is true. I don't need them to
win, but I need them to prove themselves that they are capable of more than being a bunch of ruthless Dauntless.
"No, I know that you'll lose no matter when you get off," Eric says, biting one of the piercings on his lip. To this day, I still wonder
how doing that doesn't hurt him. "Take your scrawny team and get off first, then."
My team gets up and we all start jumping off the train as soon as it reaches ground level. We are all safe on the ground when
someone touches my shoulder. "When your team won, where did you put the flag?"
"Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the exercise, Marlene." I reply.
"Come on, Four." She whines with a flirt. I close my eyes briefly and brush off her hand off my shoulder. For a second, I catch
Tris's eyes, and she seemed to be grinning.
"Navy Pier," says someone. "My brother was on the winning team. They kept the flag at the carousel." Uriah.
"Let's go then," says Will. I don't complain, and neither does everyone else, so we all walk off east, towards the marsh, and into
the zone from two years ago, where Eric held the enemy's team up proudly, as if he did all the work. I block out all the
conversation behind me once again and I focus on the moon, shining bright against the darkness of the sky. It reminds me of
two years ago, when the moon was still there, but it was not lonely. Stars used to fill up the sky, making the moon look as bright
as ever. It used to be beautiful, just like the Dauntless compound. There wasn't as much as violence and unfairness as there
is now. It all changed because of Eric, though. That I know. If only I would've accepted Dauntless leadership before him. Would
the compound be a better place?
We walk across the bridge, the mud before it slightly reflecting the moon. We finish crossing the bridge, and we enter the
part of the city that is formed by crumbling buildings, broken glass, and lost dreams. Just like a nightmare.
Behind me, Marlene takes out a flashlight. "Scared of the dark, Mar?" Asks Uriah, mockingly.
"If you want to step on broken glass, Uriah, be my guest," She says roughly, turning off the flashlight. I can't help but to smile at myself.
We keep on walking, reaching the Ferris wheel. I can feel Christina, Will, and Tris talking behind me, but my mind is still
thinking on the strategy. I hope these people are smart enough to know what to plan of, but I trust them; that's why I chose
them.
We reach the carousel sooner than I expected, and I bring out our flag from my pocket. "In ten minutes," I start. "The other team
will pick their location. I suggest you take this time to formulate a strategy. We may not be Erudite, but mental preparedness
is one aspect of your Dauntless training. Arguably, it is the most important aspect." True.
Will snatches the flag from my hands. "Some people should stay here and guard, and some people should go out and scout the
other team's location," he says.
"Yeah? You think?" says Marlene, taking the flag. "Who put you in charge, transfer?"
"No one," replies Will. "But someone's got to do it."
"Maybe we should develop a more defensive strategy." says Christina. "Wait for them to come to us, and take them out."
"That's the sissy way out. I vote we all go out. Hide the flag well enough that they can't find it." suggests Uriah.
That's when the chaos floods in. Everyone starts shouting ideas at one another, arguing about who's right and who's wrong, reminding me of my own game from two years ago. I sigh and sit on the edge of the carousel, leaning in against one of the
horses, resting my arm against my neck. My eyes lift again to the moon, which is now covered by misty clouds. It seems like the
sky is my only friend again. I breathe in a couple of times to tranquilize myself as I cover my eyes with my hands. All this arguing is making me dizzy.
In between my fingers, my eye catches movement. I drop my hands and focus in the darkness to see Tris, walking towards the
Ferris wheel with silent footsteps. What is she doing? I stand up, looking at the arguing initiates to see if someone is actually
noticing what is going on, and I follow her silently, placing my gun across my back.
I am three feet away as she looks up at the Ferris wheel, finding the rungs of the ladder. She grabs one of the rungs and places
her feet on the lowest rung, jumping a little to test its weight. She isn't going to…
"Tris," I say silently. She looks over her shoulder, looking at me before saying, "Yes?"
"I came to find out what you think you're doing."
"I'm seeking higher ground," she says simply. "I don't think I'm doing anything."
I smile to myself. I knew she'd be worth the picking. "Alright. I'm coming."
She hesitates for a second, inspecting my expression. "I'll be fine."
"Undoubtedly." I reply sarcastically. She looks away and starts climbing and, once she's a few feet off the ground, I come
after her. My throat starts tightening as I think of how high she's planning to climb, but I make myself climb, as if nothing else
mattered; as if my life depended on it. Which makes it easier, because my life does depend on it.
"So tell me," I say breathlessly. "What do you think the purpose of this exercise is? The game, I mean, not the climbing."
She looks down at the pavement as we climb, then again up at the platform above her, in the wheel's center. "Learning about
strategy. Teamwork maybe."
"Teamwork." I repeat. As if that were even possible in this compound. I try to laugh, but it comes out as a panicked pitch.
I'm thinking about height again. Be brave, Tobias, I tell myself.
"Maybe not," she thinks again. "Teamwork doesn't seem to be a Dauntless priority."
Her words make me think of the older times, when teamwork was the most important priority. Anything but height; anything
but height. The wind presses strong against my side, and I can sense it's bothering Tris too as she presses her body closer
against the rungs, then looking down at the carousel. I try to make myself look down and check at my team, but I don't. I hate to
admit it, but I'm too scared to look down. I shouldn't have come here, but it's a little too late to back down.
"It's supposed to be a priority. It used to be."
I can sense her tensing, but she only climbs higher. I can't do it; I can't; I can't. But I go on. I have to look strong for her. I have
to. I try to gulp down my fear as I move on, but I guess it never really leaves me.
"Now tell me…" I say trough a burst of breath. "what do you think learning strategy has to do with… bravery?" My breath is starting
to lose its focus. I am hyperventilating more than breathing. My nature; it cannot be prevented. I look down in a quick motion,
and the floor seems to be miles away from my feet. My breathing becomes heavy.
"It… it prepares you to act," she finally says. "You can learn to use it." She seems to notice my loud breaths, and she asks, "Are
you alright, Four?"
"Are you human, Tris? Being up this high…" I gulp for air, my heart beat now faster than ever. "It doesn't scare you at all?"
She looks over her shoulder to the ground without seeming to feel any fear. How can she manage not to fall in fear? As soon
as I think that, a wave of wind hit her from aside, and her body started to shift to the right, her balance shifting as she gasps. Instinctively, I bring out my hand and I hold her hip, squeezing as one of my fingers touching her bare skin under the hem of her
T-shirt. I pretend I feel normal, but I'm not. My heart warns to leave my chest from its rough beating, and I am left breathless.
Breathe, Tobias, I tell myself. Breathe. I look up to find Tris still in her place, as breathless as I am, looking at her hands.
"You okay?" I manage.
"Yes." She replies tensely before she keeps climbing.
I blink a few times as I gulp for air, but I force myself to move on. I know I can't be fearless, but I have to at least try to conquer
my fears. She reaches the platform above me and she sits and scoots down to give me space. Instead, I crouch down and
press my back against the metal support, my breaths still heavy.
"You're afraid of height," she realizes. "How do you survive in the Dauntless compound?"
I was meant to say that I didn't know, but instead what came out was, "I ignore my fear. When I make decisions, I pretend it
doesn't exist." But I do recognize it exists. I always do; but the other part is true: I ignore it.
I can feel her eyes on me, but her stare remains fit. "What?" I ask silently. "Nothing," she replies.
She looks away and inspects the city, which is pitch-black. My throat tightens as she pronounces the words I feared she had to
say. "We're not high enough." She looks up and stares at the mess of white bars above her before she stands up and adds,
"I'm going to climb."
I know I can't do this, I cannot; but I have to look brave for her. For as much as I hate to say this, it's time to act like a Dauntless.
"For God's sake, Stiff." I reply.
"You don't have to follow me," she says, placing her foot where two of the bars meet and pushing herself up, grabbing hold
of another bar, swaying a little; but I know my place. I do have to follow her.
"Yes, I do." I can see her mouth twitching in a smile as she grabs the next bar. I haul myself up as easily as I can pull
myself in a moving train, even though it's not as easy as it seems, especially if you're a height-fearing Dauntless. Above me,
Tris reaches a point where she looks back and, finally, sees clarity, and she stops to stare. She looks attentively as I make
my way up, and she points. "See that?"
I reach behind her and place my head next to hers, my chin close to her temple, my breaths as shaky as they can possibly be
against her ear. I focus and look to where she's pointing. Enveloped in all the darkness, a small pulse of light stands out; the
enemy. A smile spreads across my face, "Yeah. It's coming from the park at the end of the pier," I say. "Figures. It's surrounded
by open space, but the trees provide some camouflage. Obviously not enough." I am too proud of my team selection to think
about height. I am as happy as ever, now. I can finally beat Eric in his game.
"Okay," she replies, looking at me from over her shoulder, inspecting the corners of my mouth. "Um," she says, clearing
her throat. "Start climbing down, I'll you."
I nod as I step down, guiding my body in between bars, my hands red and shaky. Above me, Tris steps down in a bar, and
it breaks, bouncing against several bars before me as it makes its way to the ground. My eyes are wide as I think of a
solution. Think. Tris dangles above me, gasping. "Four!" she shouts.
I look down and find the machine's control system, an Idea building up inside my head. If I can turn the wheel on…
I start climbing down. "Hold on!" I shout at her, "Just hold on, I have an idea." I keep climbing down, my fear for heights already
gone and replaced with adrenaline. I shuffle down and down and down, above me, Tris keeps shouting my name. My nickname, I remind myself.
I reach down to the control machine, and I find the break that switches the Ferris wheel on. A second passes before I lose it.
The wheel isn't moving. "Come on!" I shout at the machine. A heartbeat flashes away before I hear a creaking sound, the
machine starting to sway. It worked. The Ferris wheel is moving.
I laugh to myself with relief as I watch Tris's body moving safely towards the ground. I move away from the machine as
Tris hurtles towards the ground, rolling over twice to avoid getting crushed by one of the cars. By the time I reach her side,
her hands are pressed to her face. I grab her wrists and I pull them away from her face before I take one of her hands and
enclose it in mine, my heartbeat still fast. When is it going to slow down?
"You all right?" I ask, pressing her hand against mine.
"Yeah," she replies.
Without thinking, I start to laugh and, after a second, she joins me. She pushes herself up with her free and the space
between us diminishes to barely a few inches. But what's weirder, I want for the space to be less.
Before I lose it, I stand up, hauling her up with me while the wind of the wheel pushes her hair against her face.
"You could've told me that the Ferris wheel still worked," she says casually. "We wouldn't have had to climb in the first place."
"I would have, if I had known," I reply. "Couldn't just let you hang there, so I took a risk. Now come on, time to get their flag."
I hesitate as I think of how to present her. Not holding her would make me seem heartless, especially after all the recent events. Holding her close would make me look needy, like I need more of her close to me. I think for a moment and end up holding her
firmly by the elbow, to seem like I'm not interested, but smiling as softly as I can, so I don't look heartless. We move towards the carousel, were half of our team sat as bored as ever, our flag behind Christina.
"Where'd the others go?" I ask excitedly, my eyes wide with anticipation.
"Did you guys turn on the wheel?" asks someone whose name I can't recall. "What the hell are you thinking? You might as
well just have shouted 'Here we are! Come and get us!'" She shakes her head in disappointment. "If I lose again this year,
the shame will be unbearable. Three years in a row?"
"The wheel doesn't matter," I say. "We know where they are." If I were to be more accelerated than I am, I could literally jump
around the carousel, clapping my hands and screaming "Yay!"
"We?" asks Christina, looking at me before looking at Tris.
"Yes, while the rest of you were twiddling your thumbs, Tris climbed the Ferris wheel to look for the other team."
"What do we do then?" says someone in between yawns.
Without knowing how to respond, I look at Tris. Guys can sometimes be braver, but girls will always be smarter. Slowly,
everyone turned their attention to her. She looked confused for a second, until her eyes shined bright with ideas. I knew I
wouldn't regret having her on my team.
"Split in half," she says. "Four of us go to the right side of the pier, three to the left. The other team is in the park at the end
of the pier, so the group of four will charge as the group of three sneaks behind the other team to get the flag." Smart.
"Sounds good," says the girl from before. "Let's get this night over with."
I leave with the group of four while Tris, Uriah, and Christina go to the right. I lead my group along our side of the pier as I
observe a fast twitch of bushes in the other side; our team making their way towards the flag. I reach an area close to the
pier's end and I look back, counting backwards from three with my fingers, my gun ready at my side. As soon as my hand
balls in to a fist, we uncover ourselves from hiding, shouting and shooting at the enemy as they stand in confusion. I am shooting
like crazy at every enemy in sight, my eyes wide, my heart racing as fast as it was in the Ferris wheel, when I hear a shout; a
shout of victory. I look to the side and watch as Christina makes her way forward, flag in hand, and as people grab her arm for
the flag to reach even higher. I move towards Tris with pride as she steps aside, grinning.
I move behind her, meaning to hug her, but instead my hand reaches for her shoulder.
"Well done," I say quietly, my heart still not tranquilizing.
A/N - There goes the chapter :) I hope you guys liked it, so please leave reviews and tell me what you think!
