Chapter 11
After leaving the grocery store, it took only another ten minutes and one false turn to get to the house. "I've only been up here a couple of times," He offered as explanation for the delay, "and either Lewis or Gina has always driven. I've never really paid much attention to how we got here."
Bobby turned off into a small circular drive almost hidden among the tree-lined road. Even in the midst of her anger and confusion, Hope didn't fail to notice the welcoming picture in front of them. The driveway's gentle curve led them to a small brick farmhouse fronted by a porch that ran the length of the home. Flowerbeds in front were now bare, but she could imagine the riot of colors in the spring. At another time, she could image being charmed by its privacy and coziness.
"The place belonged to Gina's parents. When they moved to Florida a couple of years ago, they sold it to Lewis and Gina. They come up here when they can."
He turned the engine off and got out of the car. When Hope joined him, he said, "Well, let's see what we're walking into. Lewis told me the place might need aired out. They haven't been up here for about a month. I remember it as having quite a musty smell the last time I was up here. "
Unlocking the door, he flipped on the lights. Gina had obviously known they weren't going to be able to make it up here for a while - much of the furniture was covered with sheets. "This won't so be bad."
"Especially since we'll be going back to the city in the morning." Hope pointed out. "This whole adventure isn't necessary." She wasn't going to concede that their flight from the city made any kind of sense at all.
"Well, when you explain to me exactly why this is completely unnecessary, I might just agree with you, and as soon as that happens we can go back to the city. Until then, we're going to stay right here." They were at a stalemate, neither willing to back down. When he refused to balk at her stare down, Hope averted her glaring gaze and swept it around the room.
In frustration Bobby brought a hand up to squeeze the back of his neck, hoping to relieve the tension building in those muscles. Not wanting the situation to escalate, he held his tongue for now. Exhaling forcefully, he told her, "I'll bring in our stuff."
On his first trip back into the house, he saw that she had removed several of the sheets, clearing off the sofa, a couple of chairs and the dining table. On his second trip in, he noticed the open back door and saw Hope shaking out the sheets and folding them up into neat squares. As he emptied the grocery bags, he watched her from the kitchen window, following her with his eyes as she walked over and sat down on the small rock fence that separated the wood deck from the open field that was the back yard.
He continued to put their purchases away. Seeing the coffeemaker, he decided he might as well tackle the domestic chores, even though Hope had cleared off some of the furniture, she didn't appear to be taking much of an interest. He had seen coffee beans in the fridge and decided to brew up a pot.
Hope had disinterestedly looked around the small-furnished rooms before noticing a pair of French doors. As she passed the covered furniture on her way to the doors, she slid several of the sheets off and dragged them along in her wake. She really needed to be away from him right now, her anger coalescing into rage. A rage not directed at him, but at herself. For her actions, for her choice. If she had imagined a day like this when sat down to write that first letter, she wasn't sure it was a trade off she would have made.
He hadn't asked his partner to check her out, had he? No, she was sure he hadn't. But right now, that didn't make her feel any better. Rationally Hope, she knew it wasn't Bobby's fault that his partner had escalated what had apparently been an - unknown to her - ongoing situation. All from a desire, a need to look out for him. She wondered how many others had tried to look out for him before.
Her thoughts turned to David. She thought about his death, but more significantly she thought about how he had betrayed her. He'd put her life in danger as well as his own. But at least he knew about it, she'd been kept in the dark all along. Confronted by these painful memories, she felt dead inside - once again. She felt the world closing in on her, suffocating her. Slowly she realized tears were flowing down her cheeks, not the gut-wrenching, heartbreaking sobbing of deep loss, but tears of sheer and utter dismay that had come to characterize the last few years.
She heard Bobby's shuffling step behind her, before he cleared his throat. "It looked like you could use these..." she turned to see him continuing to walk towards, extending one hand that held a cup of coffee. Slung over the other arm lay one of the sweatshirts they'd just bought. She turned away from him to wipe at the tear tracks on her face, futilely trying to wipe away her memories with he same motion.
Quietly nodding her acceptance, she reached for the and quickly took a sip to cover up the awkward moment. Grudgingly, she admitted, "It's good. Thank you."
He stepped closer, placed his own mug on the fence and dropped the sweatshirt over her shoulders. "When the sun goes down, it gets cold out here pretty quick."
"So, I'm finding out." Hope acknowledged as she tied the sleeves up around her neck. They sat silently, each sipping their coffees. This was not the same angry silence of the car ride, but the awkward, wary silence that was a consequence of her anger.
Both let the silence grow between them as they looked out over the field towards a stand of trees in the distance. Bobby spotted them first, and reached out to direct Hope's attention to several deer coming out of the woods, grazing at the edge of the field.
She watched the family of deer, envious of the simplicity and symmetry of nature. After several minutes, she risked a glance at the man sitting next to her, sitting so close to her she was actually warmed by the body heat radiating from his frame.
Hesitantly, she asked about Lewis and Gina. "How long have you known Lewis and Gina? They seem like old friends."
Bobby glanced at her several times before answering. Well, this was better than the wary silence and animosity that had taken hold since they'd left her office. "Yeah, they're old friends … good friends. I've known Lewis since we were kids." He shifted his position to be able to look at her directly, without turning his head. "We grew up on the same block. We looked out for each other." She looked surprised and he continued. "Lewis was always kind of a small guy, kind of scruffy and easy prey from some of the boys in the neighborhood. We got into a lot of trouble back in the day. Nothing too serious – curfew, grades, girls, really it was innocent stuff."
When he paused, she sensed that he was seeing it all play out in memory. "How did he look out for you?" she asked, softly.
"What?" He was pulled back to the present as what she'd said sunk in, "oh… well Lewis was one of the few who really understood my family situation. It didn't scare him off, as it did a lot of others. He was just my friend, everything else he just accepted. Gina, on the other hand, now she's the real gem. I guess they've been together 10, 12 years now. She keeps Lewis focused – that's always been one of his problems, he's easily distracted. Without her, he wouldn't own his own business, he wouldn't have a future. Those are his words, not mine … even though I think he might be right."
"I'm going to guess you didn't need anyone to keep you focused?" There was so little the either knew about the other's past. They hadn't gotten to that stage of a relationship yet, even though on one level it felt as if they'd gone too far to go back and make up that missed step.
"Me… no," Bobby grinned as he shook his head, "focus was never my problem. That was probably why we clicked the way we did – opposites attracting to find a balance."
"You… you mentioned your 'family situation', can I ask what that was?"
"My mother was a schizophrenic." He heard her sharp intake of breath, but when she didn't immediately say anything, he continued. "I was seven when she had the first episode that I can pinpoint. I'm sure there were more episodes before then, I… I guess I was too young to want to remember those."
She felt her heart go out to the little boy who witnessed his mother's illness and wondered what scars it left on the man he'd grown into. She understood about scars.
Suddenly feeling self-conscious, Bobby jumped up, "You getting hungry? How 'bout I make us something to eat?"
She stood and nodded. Silently she followed him back into the house.
......... Chapter 12 at some point ......
