Hello everyone! Once again thanks for your awesome feed back about my work...I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, INCLUDING THE LINE FORM THE SONG INCLUDED IN THIS CHAPTER ! Castle-ites, you will know which one I mean.


Meredeth was in Central Park, only it wasn't Central Park she knew. They were on the moon, as she could see Earth in the sky, near the sun. In the distance she could hear music, undercut with a steady beeping noise. Looking around, she took a step towards a very familiar place - Strawberry Fields, one of her favourite spots to go in the park. Her footsteps felt light and bouncy, like she was walking on marshmellows.

'You always knew how to turn a phrase, Merry-Cherry.'

She glanced around and felt her eyes widen. 'Mom?'

'Hi, baby.'

Freja Coleman's smile was identical to her daughter's and she was in her favourite scrubs, the olive-green with her camouflage scrub cap hanging from her back pocket. Around her neck was the insignia charm of the NSAF. She looked exactly the same as the last time Meredeth had seen her. 'You've had a busy day,' she commented.

'Am I dead, is this heaven?'

'No, you're not dead, just on some serious sleepy-time drugs.'

'How do I know you're not just saying that?'

'Easy. Hear that?' Freja held up a finger. 'That beeping noise is your heart-rate being monitored by the doctors.'

'Oh. So if I can hear that, I survived the operation?'

'You both did,' Freja smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 'Minus an ovary, but I went through the same thing shortly after you were born.'

'So then why the sleepy drugs?'

'The doctor will tell you when you wake up. But since I'm here now. Ask anything you want.'

Meredeth could only think of one thing. 'Can...I mean, will Javi and I...'

'Can you still enjoy sex?'

'Yeah.'

'Of course. Your body will make adjustments to your hormonal output, but you and that gorgeous hubby of yours will still rattle some headboards,' Freja said with a wink, then looked at the sky. 'Hold on. Incoming message from the Big Blue Beyond.'

Mere, it's me, baby, I'm back, I spent the night with the kids at Agnes' and I'm here now. I'm not going to leave you, so you better not do the same.

Meredeth wrinkled her eyebrows as Esposito's voice. 'I'm here, Javi,' she called out, but Freja shook her head.

'This is all in your mind, Meredeth, but he knows you know it's him. Our men are funny like that. I know mine is.'

Meredeth turned around, blinked at seeing Ted Addison there in simple blue jeans and a warm polo sweater. Even more stunning was the way Freja breezed past her and wrapped her arms around his middle, tipping her face up to his. 'Hey handsome,' she purred at him, and Meredeth made a face as her mother gave him the kind of kiss that had given Meredeth and Esposito three babies.

When they broke apart, Meredeth could only shake her head at them. 'So if I'm not dead, why are you both here?'

'You want the kooky answer or the religious one?' Ted asked with a quirk of his lips.

'Surprise me.'

'We're part of you, Mere, both of us, and we're always here to keep an eye on you when you need our help.'

'Like angels?'

'Sure, if you like, or since you're more of a pop-culture nut, your space coyotes,' Freja replied.

'Space coyotes?'

'You know, your favourite Simpsons episode with Johnny Cash.'

'How could you know that, that episode aired six years after you died.'

'Well, as this is all in your head,' Ted pointed out, 'we have access to things only you know about.'

'Okay, that's just a little creepy.'

Once again, Meredeth heard music, this time it was Jack Johnson's 'Banana Pancakes' and she laughed. 'The first time I made Javi breakfast, I had this playing on my iPod radio.'

'He remembers that too, you know, he's made this playlist just for you.'

Meredeth looked at them again and nodded firmly. 'Okay, definitely space coyotes. So, if I can see you both now, and talk to you both now, where's Momo?'

The song changed again, to The Crystals and Meredeth felt her heart swell with love. She closed her eyes, opened them and she was on the sidewalk in Yorkville outside the movie theatre where she and Esposito had had their first date. The people rushed past them like ghosts, and a sudden gust of wind had her catchign the scent of his cologne and she felt the tingle all over.

'See?' Freja told her, nudging her in the side. 'You and your man will make it. You've had tough times before and you got through those.'

'We did,' Meredeth murmured; she could feel his hands on her shoulders, her neck, combing through her hair. 'But where's Momo?'

Hey Mere, thought you might like to hear that one and think of your man, and all the things you and him and the kids will do when you're all better. We love you and we'll talk to you soon, love Alexis

Hey, Mere, it's Shane we want you to get better on the double because Alexis and I mos-def need your help to pick the right wedding cake out and who knows better than the gal who invented the Heart of Chelios?

'Your grandmother's around here somewhere,' Freja said, then held out her hand. 'Wanna take a walk?'

'Okay.'

Meredeth blinked and they'd changed locations once more. They were on Twenty-Fifth Street, the block where her house was, only it was more like an old cartoon, where the background kept repeating itself over and over and over.

'Meredeth, you have to understand this wasn't your fault,' Freja told her, gently swinging their joined hands. 'This wasn't like when Javi got shot either. This was just your body having a malfunction.'

'But shouldn't the doctors have-'

'Doctors are human too, baby girl, not the robotic gods we think of them as when our loved ones need their care.'

The music switched again, so the air was now permeated with the sound of Billy Joel's New York State of Mind. 'That's ironically appropriate,' Meredeth murmured, looking around and around and seeing all her favourite places of the city like she was in her own version of a movie montage.

'Meredeth, listen to me,' Freja said in her stern motherly voice. 'Meredeth!'

'Yes, Lieutenant!'

'You are not to blame for your illness. There was no way for you to have known this is how it would come to light.'

'Right.'

'You know I'm right,' Freja insisted. 'You know this could have been a lot worse, and there was a reason that you went to the doctor's today.'

'So they could find it and fix it.'

Freja nodded. 'Exactly. You are meant to be doing exactly what you are doing now, Meredeth. Being a mother and a writer, that is your job now. Listen.'

Hi-hi, Mami it's Tah-rini. Miss you lossa. Ge' bedda soon, I wan' a moosh.

Ola Mami, it's Leo. I miss lossa too. We bein' good fo' Daddy.

Hi Mami, it's Tessi, we are all hoping you get better very very q..quickly because we have a lot of things to do with you!

'My babies,' Meredeth sighed, and for the first time since finding herself in this fantasy land, she felt an overwhelming sense of dispair. 'My children, they-'

'They need you, Meredeth,' Freja told her in the tone she'd used on soldiers whining about flesh wounds. 'And you will see them once you are done this stage of healing.'

'Can't it be done already?'

'You always were an impatient baby. Didn't want to wait to do anything.'

'As I recall you were no different.'

The location changed yet again - Meredeth was losing count of how fast her brain was giving her these changes of scenery. Now they were back in the park, only this time they were on the balcony overlooking Bethesda Terrace, and Meredeth looked down; this time the scene she saw was like watching her own memory as if it were a TV episode. She could see herself in her white dress holding Esposito's hands as they said their vows and everyone was sniffling.

But this time, when she opened her eyes, her mother was gone and it was Constance who stood beside her, holding her hand. Meredeth looked down at their clasped hands and gasped. 'Momo! What are you doing here?'

'Same thing your mother's been doing, but she and I both know you want me here.'

'Of course I want you here, but...she's my mother too, she can be here for this?'

'I'm afraid not.' Constance clucked her tongue in sympathy. 'I let her talk to you alone first, now she is going to grant me the same request.'

'Why are you telling me that, I don't own her.'

'Sweetie, didn't you listen to your mother? We're inside your head right now, you could make it rain Skittles if you wanted.'

'Now that sounds like fun.'

Constance turned around so she was facing the road and shook her head in resignation. 'Really Meredeth?'

'What? I liked them when I was a kid. Come on.'

They walked across the street to the street-cart vendor who had suddenly appeared and was selling boxes and boxes of Everlasting Gobstoppers. Meredeth magically found exact change in her pockets for three boxes, all super-sours. 'Want one?'

'I'd rather eat dirt,' Constance replied dryly. 'Meredeth. Why do you want to see me more than your mother?'

'Because you were there during the hard stuff, and the Javi stuff.'

'Don't you think she'd like to meet him too, know him a little through you? I'd love to know about your other babies.'

Meredeth sighed, and looked skyward, almost in annoyance when the song changed for the umpteenth time, now it was Harry Belafonte's Jamaica Farewell and she grinned. 'This was the song-'

'You and Javi played the first time you went on vacation together, when you went to Los Angeles to visit Chin. You were pretending that you were in the islands because it was so damn hot outside.'

'Right I get it, you and I are attached at the brainstem right now.'

Meredeth sat down on the topmost step, pulled out a white handkerchief from her pocket and up ended all three boxes of Gob-Stoppers. 'This is how it feels right now,' she said, pointing to the jumbled mess of lollies. 'I can't get a grip on anything, I just...I love you and Mom, so much, but I feel like I need to go somewhere peaceful and quiet.'

'Then go there. What are you waiting for? In case you didn't notice, you don't need a subway pass for getting around this place.'

Meredeth nodded, then closed her eyes and concentrated hard; when she opened them, she was by a little cabin on a lake in the Adirondacks. She could hear Billy Joel turn into Raul de los Palmas and the lyrics rang crystal clear into her mind.

It ain't nothing I'm just doin' what I do best, you feelin' me now, imagine what I do next.

God what a night that been, the most hilarious spat she and Esposito had ever had, followed up with very passionate make-up sex. Laughing about it, she picked up a stone, intending to skip it over the glass-smooth surface of the lake.

'That one won't work, it's got too much point on the bottom.'

Meredeth turned around and felt her mouth drop open as she saw the very last person she expected to see on this psychedelic trip - her grandfather Maximilian.

'What are you doing here, Morfa?'