Jessica loved him. It was a thought that had sped around his head thousands of times, but the more he said it, the more real it became. He felt elated, but fear kept creeping into his heart. Once again they were back to the way they were before, but Lavi found himself wanting more.
All of these forbidden things, he knew he shouldn't have her, but he wanted her too badly.
He wanted to make a commitment to her, but he didn't know how. Well it just wasn't that he didn't know how, it was also that he didn't know if he should. It was one thing to profess his love and to have sexual escapades with her, but it was a whole different thing actually having a real relationship.
Despite the conflict in his head, he already knew what he wanted.
He remembered how they spent their first Christmas together. He had such high spirits when it came to Christmas and to get to spend it with her, only made him feel even more intoxicated. That Christmas meant many things to him, but it was also the day that they two of them made a promise. A promise that he still kept, even though she was gone.
~…~
Today was Christmas and all through the Order, people celebrated the holiday cheer. In all of his years, Lavi had never felt so merry about Christmas before. Christmas to him had always been desolate and empty, void of any special meaning. However, despite the war surrounding them, the Exorcists and company still found themselves all home and enjoying the holiday festivities that the Order provided.
Lavi and Kanda had slowly made their ways to the cafeteria where Jerry had prepared an amazing Christmas dinner. Since Kanda and Lenalee had been there the longest, Lavi always made sure to tag along with one of them on special occasions in order to mentally prepare himself for what awaited him. Even though he was social, he always felt out of place whenever they held huge parties like this, partially due to him being a Bookman, the other part due to him just not used to celebrating things in general. It was like a whole new world had been laid out before him, and even though it was weird to him, he found himself enjoying himself more and more. It felt like he had a family and a home. It was nice. He just wished that the Old Man would have come.
"Yuu, I'm surprised you're even going to this party! I thought you hated things like this?" Lavi teased the already annoyed Japanese.
"Lenalee wanted me to go."
"Oh, do I sense love in the air?!~ Komui won't be too pleased." Lavi made a tsch tsch noise while waving his finger from side to side, earning a small growl from Kanda.
"I'd pick your battles wisely usagi, if anyone is being romantically conspicuous, it's you and that Bookman friend of yours."
"What do you mean?" Lavi's eyes went wide, afraid that maybe someone had seen the two of them, his heart started to beat rapidly.
Kanda sighed, he wasn't much for gossip, and he had no interest in fueling it.
"It's just dumb people talking, there's nothing important about it."
"Yuu, please tell me!"
"Don't call me by my name!" he shouted menacingly at the curious Bookman.
"Oi!"
Kanda realizing his mistake decided it was probably the best for his sanity and for his temper if he just told the annoying boy what he heard. He stopped and turned to face his companion, "All I heard was that it's obvious that you two like each other."
Lavi blinked for a second, confused by Kanda's sudden admission.
"Oh that's all?"
"Yes."
Lavi felt his heart return to its normal pace, but a new anxiety welled up in his chest. Even though it seemed like no one saw the two of them, they were obvious enough about their love that it was starting to spread around. Even though to everyone else it was just speculation, Lavi knew that even that tiny bit of speculation would cause Bookman to question him about it.
Kanda looked at the troubled red head, the dots connecting slowly in his head. Jessica crying that night in the meditation room, Lavi's adamant questioning, and his expression after hearing the rumors.
"Is there something going on with you two?" Kanda questioned.
Lavi nearly jumped out of his skin, "No! Of course there isn't anything going on! Why would you even think that?!"
Lavi felt his heart pounding again. Shit.
Kanda smirked, it wasn't often that Lavi was flustered and he liked the fact that for once he left the red head frazzled.
"Che, there is totally something going on." Kanda started to walk away, Lavi trailing not far behind.
"Kanda…"
"Ugh…yes?"
"Please don't say anything."
Kanda looked at Lavi from the corner of his eye, his expression looked worried.
"Say what? I don't know what you're talking about."
Lavi looked up, surprised by Kanda's words. Was this Kanda's way of saying that he would keep their secret? Lavi felt a small smile form across his face, touched by the normally cold man's words.
"Thank you."
"Che."
After for what seemed like an eternity, they finally reached the cafeteria, Lenalee and Jessica waiting outside for the two of them.
Lavi felt his breath catch at the sight of Jessica; her long blonde hair was put up in a low messy bun, brushing her bangs to the side, exposing her bright golden eyes. Her dress was red and short; the hem reaching her mid-thigh, the sleeves extended to her elbows, the scoop of the shirt exposing her collarbone. The red heels made her appear taller, but accented her long legs, making him want her.
"Hey guys!" Lenalee called to the two boys, who were not nearly dressed as nice.
"Lenalee, Jessica." Lavi addressed both beautiful ladies.
It wasn't until he got closer that he noticed Jessica was wearing makeup, making him quiver inside. At that moment he realized that Jessica was out of his league, she was way too beautiful to be with someone like him. He suddenly felt self-conscious.
Jessica approached him and gave him a warm hug, "Merry Christmas Lavi!" she cheered.
Lavi smiled and hugged her back, his newfound insecurities washed away by her warmth. Kanda looked at him and turned his attention towards the younger Chinese girl.
"How long do I have to stay?" he questioned Lenalee.
"Just long enough that you have a good time!" she smiled at him softly, her bright eyes shining with anticipation.
Lavi observed the two; it was amazing to him how Lenalee could handle Kanda so well. But then again, they were like siblings and it was a known fact that the two of them grew up together. So it made sense that Lenalee knew how to keep beast tamed.
Through the closed doors, they could hear the muffled sound of music and boisterous laughter, causing the four of them to remember why they were standing outside the cafeteria in the first place. Lenalee grabbed the handle and opened the door, revealing the most magical thing Lavi had ever seen before in his life.
Inside was what looked like to be thousands of lights hung across the ceiling, ribbons and garland traced the windows and the tables, a live band playing in the corner to his right, some staff members dancing drunkenly. There were many tables were lined out filled with all sorts of delicious foods just waiting to be gobbled up, some mulled wine sitting off to the side.
The energy was so pure, so energetic that Lavi couldn't help but feel rejuvenated. It had been so long since he felt so hopeful and so at peace, and he couldn't help but feel thankful to the Order for giving him that. He looked over at Jessica, who gave him a huge grin, and touched his shoulder. He smiled back at her, feeling fulfilled. Jessica, Lenalee, and Kanda…everyone at the Order, they were his friends and his family.
He rushed inside, "Alright! Let's get this party started!"
Kanda walked silently behind the bouncing red head, Jessica and Lenalee giggling at his energetic bounces.
The first place he headed for was the food that Jerry had elegantly laid out on table after table. From turkey to macaroni and cheese, it seemed like Jerry had planned out everything. It all looked too delicious, making his drool with delight.
After gathering their food, they all sat down and talked about various things. Kanda, Jessica, and Lavi sipped at their glasses of mulled wine, while Lenalee was forced to settle with a class of sparkling cider. They laughed and cheered, even Kanda found himself to be enjoying himself despite his adamant claims that he wouldn't.
After a while though, it started to become clear that Jessica was getting tipsy, so they were quick to cut her off, especially Lavi who wanted her to be at least somewhat sober for when he gave her the gift he had been storing for her for the past few weeks. It was a gift so important that he wanted her to be fully aware of it when he presented it to her.
The girl didn't like the idea of being cut off, but Lavi knew that it was ultimately for the best.
Lenalee laughed at the girl's arguments and claims that she was nowhere close to being tipsy, despite giggling every other sentence. Lavi realizing that they could argue about it forever, grabbed her a glass of water and told her to deal with it, leaving the girl speechless and annoyed. However, she drank the water without any further protests letting Lavi relax finally.
Lenalee grabbed Jessica's hand and started dragging her from her seat, "Come on, let's go dance!" the Chinese girl pulled at her blonde haired companion.
"Yes! Let's dance!" the girl thoughtlessly cheered.
Lenalee and Jessica ran over to the band, leaving Kanda and Lavi alone.
Lavi smiled at the girls, and turned his attention to Kanda.
"Yuu…want to go dance?" Lavi winked at him and stuck his tongue out. Kanda spit out his water and looked at him like he was crazy, "NO WAY IN HELL! AND DON'T CALL ME YUU!"
"Aw, Yuu don't be like that!" Lavi whined.
Kanda stood up and sauntered out of the cafeteria, leaving the red head alone, amused with the outcome of his joke.
Lavi looked over at the girls, who were holding each other's hands spinning around in rapid circles, laughing hysterically. It was funny to Lavi, how due to this war, he had forgotten that they were all just kids. He and Kanda were seventeen, Jessica sixteen (about to be seventeen), and Lenalee fifteen. He never thought about it before, but it was sad how they were all a part of this grotesque thing, something way bigger than normal people could ever imagine. It was days like this that he was happy they could all enjoy their youth rather than worrying about how to stay alive.
Lavi put his hand in his trousers' pocket and fiddled with Jessica's gift, his fingers tracing it. He had already given Lenalee her cookbook, Kanda his hair tie, Komui his coffee cup, and Bookman his journal. All that was left was to give his present to Jessica.
Out of breath, both girls ran excitedly back to Lavi, laughing in-between gulps of air.
"Lavi, come dance with us!" both girls demanded in unison, making them laugh harder. He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "Really?"
"Yeah!" Jessica screamed at him, grabbing his hand and leading him towards the dance floor, Lenalee following close behind.
The upbeat music was enough to make him elated, but Jessica's hand wrapped around his made him feel high. The butterflies that formed in the pit of stomach fluttered uncontrollably, his heart while steady felt like it was going to explode, all of these things came together to remind him just how deeply in love he was with this girl.
He danced with her and Lenalee for what seemed like forever, laughing with them and enjoying himself. He had never let himself go this far, leaving him amazed. All of the confliction he felt couldn't bring him down, not tonight at least.
With the clock striking midnight, all three felt themselves getting tired and left the party. Lavi and Jessica walked Lenalee back to her room and once they left her, Lavi grabbed Jessica's hand as they walked back towards her room.
Upon entering her room and shutting the door, Jessica eagerly pulled off her heels, walking around trying to get used to her normal height, and turned on the lamp that resided at her desk. Without warning Lavi, she pulled her dress over her head and walked over to her dresser, looking for something more suitable for sleeping in. Lavi still blushed whenever she exposed her half-naked body to him, even though he had seen and felt most of her body, there were still areas left unexplored, leaving the male to ponder in his dirty imagination. Upon noticing him standing there awkwardly, Jessica in only a bra and panties, pointed towards her bed, "You know you can lay down, right?"
Lavi shook the dirty thoughts from his head and walked over to the bed, sitting down on the plush mattress. Even as he sat there, he just stared at her, taking in all of her beauty.
"Hey, come here."
"What?" Jessica questioned him, her hands still digging through her dresser.
"Come here."
Jessica hesitantly walked over the boy, and stood in front of him. His eyes digging holes all throughout her body, it was a sensation that albeit vulnerable, also made her feel flattered. Lavi pulled himself up, his eyes interlocking with hers, his hands resting on her hips while he traced tiny circles along her pelvic bone. The girl could feel herself shiver at the newfound sensation of his calloused fingers tracing random shapes on her skin.
He put his warm, sweet lips against hers and kissed her so tenderly that she could feel herself melt. It was sweet and slow, leaving both of them in a state of bliss. There was no hunger, there was only them. Lavi pulled away, and eyed the girl up and down.
"Hurry up and go get dressed, I want to give you your present." He cheerfully mumbled to her. Jessica sighed, she was kind of hoping that maybe he wanted to do something, but it seemed like the red head had another agenda to feel tonight. However, she felt touched by the fact that he got her a present…she never really got presents, especially not from someone who meant so much to her.
Jessica dug through the dresser and pulled out a long sleeve black shirt and a pair of lounge pants and quickly put them on. Curious as to what Lavi had gotten her and sat down next to him.
She put her hand up right before he could speak, he stared at her confused, "Before you freak out, I did get you a present…I'm just waiting for Johnny to finish making it!" she hurriedly blurted out. He laughed at her hysteria and gingerly grabbed her hand, holding it in his bigger one. "That's fine! I honestly wasn't expecting you to get me anything." He found it sweet that she actually had taken the time to work something out with Johnny, even though he knew it was some piece of clothing, he still found it adorable.
Jessica sighed and leaned in and kissed him.
He smiled against her lips and sat up slightly so he could dig in his pockets for her gift. When he had it in his grasp, he pulled away from the girl and flashed her his famous grin, "I need you to close your eyes."
Jessica sighed, a smile creeping up, and closed her eyes, waiting.
Lavi pulled out the silver object and rolled it between his fingers, hoping that he actually made the right decision. He leaned towards his ears, his warm breath caressing the side of her face, "Jessie-chan in the past you and I never really decided what we were…and that led to a lot of problems."
Jessica nodded in comprehension, her mind racing. What was he trying to say?
"However, I want to change that."
"Lavi…what are you doing?"
Lavi gave her a sweet kiss, "Open your eyes, love."
Slowly she opened her eyes, not sure what she was about to see. He had his hand held out to her, in the palm of his hand a small silver ring. Jessica looked up at him, her eyes wide with anxiety, "Are you proposing to me?!" a shrill voice escaped from her lips.
Lavi chuckled, "No. Jessie-chan, it's a promise ring."
"Oh…" she mentally slapped herself, how could she be so dumb?
"I want to make a promise to you."
"Okay?" she could feel her heart crawl up her throat.
"I want you to be my girlfriend. I want to promise you that you are the one I love and the one I want to commit to." The sincerity in this voice made the girl start to tear, she had never experienced something like this before. She and Geoffrey were never this close, leaving her uncertain on what to do next.
Jessica's tiny fingers picked up the ring, the meaning behind it so powerful that it made her want to cry.
"Lavi…I don't know what to say."
He gave her a warm smile, the love he felt for her visible in his previously empty eyes. She knew how much he loved her.
"It's okay, you don't have to say yes. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into anything." He honestly meant it.
Jessica placed the ring back in the palm of his hand and held out her left hand, "Don't you need to put it on?"
He laughed at her boldness and grabbing the ring with his other hand, slipped it onto her middle finger, it was slightly big, but Jessica insisted that she could take it to someone down in the science department to resize it. She stared at the ring curiously, the placement of the ring odd to her.
"Why the middle finger?" she asked.
"So that way when Bookman sees it, he won't question it." Lavi had really thought about this.
Lavi then dug into his other pocket and pulled a bigger ring and handed it to Jessica, extending out his right hand.
"Milady, will you do the honors of slipping my ring on?"
Jessica giggled and slowly slid the matching ring on his own middle finger.
The two just stared at their rings, amazed that at not only each other but at themselves. Neither one of them ever thought they would be making a commitment like this. It was a feel that they both found themselves rejoicing.
Jessica lunged at Lavi, pressing her lips passionately against his, his hands resting on her waist. The love she felt for him overpowered her, making her want him now more than ever.
She moaned as he deepened the kiss, his tongue snaking its way into her mouth. Despite the hot kiss, Jessica still found herself feeling bad for not being able to give Lavi his present today on Christmas. Lavi had given her something meaningful and all she had to give him in return was her consent to be with him. She felt like she owed him.
Jessica pulled away from the kiss, causing the older boy to growl in disapproval, but she gingerly pushed him on his back as she climbed over him, straddling him. Lavi felt himself get harder, it was sexy seeing her dominating him like that.
Jessica leaned down, her breasts rubbing against his chest, and gave him a quick peck on the lips, her kisses started to trail down his neck, trying to find his own sweet spot. The boy hissed when she reach his mid neck and slowly began to suck, hoping to leave her own love bite.
The boy gripped her hips, tighter, as her cold hands began to up his shirt rubbing against his well-toned body. She started kissing further down till she reached the top of his shirt. She sat back up, she could feel him getting excited, as she sat right where his member resided.
Jessica scooted down to where she now sat on his knees, making it impossible for him to escape from her. She tried to be casual about messing with his belt and once removed, tossed it to the floor, the boy only stared at her confused, but his eye screamed excitement. She fiddled with the button of his pants, upon realizing it was more difficult then she had anticipated, Lavi unbuttoned it for her. Starting to feel herself losing confidence, Jessica took the zipper in her fingers and tugged down, grabbing the top his pants, she beckoned him to lift his hips so she could pull the material down to his mid-thigh.
The girl felt herself blush when she just how hard her was, the bulge was a lot bigger than she thought. She tugged down at his boxers next, repeating the same process that they had with his pants.
She could feel her heartbeat in her ears, she felt the butterflies this time, but they weren't due to anxiety, but to excitement.
After pulling his boxers down, his dick now free from any inhibitions sprung up. Lavi looked up at the ceiling, his face red. Jessica remembered that one night when she had messed up her, a blush creeping on her face, it was strange having a visual of it now.
Shyly, the girl ran her finger up the side of it, feeling the warmth. Jessica wrapped her hand around it and slowly began to pull it up and down, unsure on how to go about it. It was easier when alcohol was involved, but she had sobered up a long time ago.
She heard Lavi take in a deep breath, his eyes still preoccupied with the ceiling. Lavi hadn't made any effort to stop her, so she assumed that she was doing okay. Almost naturally she started to flick on her wrist, the movement becoming more natural, and she quickened her pace. Lavi shook beneath her and sat up alarmed by the sudden rush of pleasure that coursed through his body.
His glazed eyes met her determined ones and pumped his member. Lavi grabbed her hand and with shaky hands rearranged it, "Do it like that."
Jessica blushed, of course he would know how to do it.
Jessica went back to pumping it, the change on grip made the red head grip the sheets. It was so much better when someone else did it, especially her. He closed his eyes, letting himself get lost in the pleasure, her hands were like magic to him.
He was so lost that he never noticed the girl stop, but opened his eyes when he felt something hot and wet slid up his penis. He sat up slightly, watching as the girl delicately slid her tongue up his penis and then swirled around the head. Her soft lips wrapped around the head, the girl tugged her head back slightly, sucking slightly. He involuntarily gasped, causing him to blush even deeper.
She opened her mouth a little wider and slowly took more of him inside of her mouth. Her head began to bob back and forth, the pleasure intensifying.
Soon he found most of his penis totally encompassed in her mouth, her pace quickening. He reached out to her, his hand resting on the back of her head. He gripped the bun and unintentionally forced her down, making the girl gag.
"Sorry…" he mumbled between fits of pleasure.
The girl didn't seem harmed by it as she only quickened her pace attempting to take him deeper inside. Her fingers elegantly began to massage his balls, making the boy go crazy.
He couldn't help but moan, it was a guttural sound that emerged from deep within the back of his throat. The girl seeing that as a sign, quickened her pace even more and began to suck him harder. He gripped her hair tightly, and tossed his head back, letting another moan escape.
He could feel himself about to cum.
"Jessie-chan…I'm about to…"
Despite his words the girl didn't relent and kept going.
A sudden, euphoric feeling erupted through his body, the pleasure down there so intense he couldn't help but groan. He could feel himself ejaculate, but she continued to suck him till his orgasm was officially done. He loosened the girl on her hair and pulled her head up, releasing her hot lips from his member. He was still breathing heavily.
Lavi looked at Jessica with glazed eyes, her mouth firmly shut.
"You know you can spit it out right?"
Jessica looked him in the eyes and swallowed, the boy surprised with her action. God she was sexy.
She ran her tongue along her lips, trying to wipe clean any cum that may still reside. Lavi just laid there, amazed by her.
Jessica crawled off his legs and laid down beside him, dragging herself up to his head. The boy pulled his boxers and pants back on.
Lavi just laid there, trying to make sense of the events that just transpired.
Tonight was a good night. He and Jessica made their relationship official and he got a nice blowjob.
He turned his head to look at the girl, a blush on her face.
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing…I'm just embarrassed."
"Why?"
"I've never done something like that before!" the girl shoved her face into her pillow.
Lavi pulled the hair tie out of her hair and brushed his fingers through it, trying to remove any knots he could find.
"I loved it." He said after a moment of silence.
Jessica looked up at him, her golden eyes burning him.
"Really?"
"You made me moan…" Great now he felt embarrassed, "…and you made me cum."
Jessica buried her face back in the pillow.
"Merry Christmas Lavi." Her heard her mutter into the pillow.
Lavi smiled and closed his eyes, "Merry Christmas Jessica."
