Standard Disclaimer:It has been disclaimed

Notes: Put the pitch forks down people. Yes, I'm well aware it has been what like…2 months? 3 months? But what can I say? Wait…what? 6 months? No…that can't be right. :looks up: "Updated 06-19-08"

Oh crap, I'm gonna get stabbed…

-:-finem-:-

Warnings: Shounen-ai/yaoi, non-con encounters, and well…any other warning that would be associated with those first two.

Unseen Eyes

-:xi:-

Tai was aware of the fact that he was being an ass. He'd heard when Matt left, heard the quiet sniffing as his mother cried. He could practically feel the atmosphere surrounding him become darker, heavier. Still, he made no effort to move from where he was. Didn't even try to stray from his spot, crouched in the gloom, sitting on his bed doing his best not to think.

If he thought too much, then he would have to face the fact that he was being absolutely pathetic. He'd have to deal with his shame, really look at the reality of his situation, and that was something he simply wasn't ready to do. There was a spot in his chest that felt like suffocation, and every attempt at thought make it expand a little, grow into something that more resembled panic. Panic meant fear and fear was something he just…couldn't acknowledge; couldn't accept.

There was a distant, objective part of his mind at work, even as he tried to deny it. That part of his brain was trying to make sense of what he was experiencing and why he was reacting the way that he was. In all honesty, what was so bad about what had happened? It was a simple hand-job. Apparently a pretty good one if it had gotten him off that easily. Wouldn't most guys be glad to get a favour like that? Even if it was unexpected—even if it was completely unwanted—in the end, it really wasn't that big a deal, right? Why was he getting so worked up over it?

He should have been able to move on by now, needed to. But for some reason he was stuck and he couldn't figure it out. Why couldn't he get the memories out of his head? Why couldn't he just let it go and pull himself together so that the same thing wouldn't happen again? Why? Was there some part of him that wanted it to happen again? Some part that had actually enjoyed the attention? Was that even possible? The idea alone sent a violent shudder wracking through his entire body, turning his stomach and making him momentarily light-headed. The possibility was shoved summarily aside, but then what did that leave? Why couldn't he get himself together enough to fight this enemy?

It's because there is more than one enemy at work here, that objective part whispered insistently, calling attention to some of the things that Tai had been trying to ignore. The truth was, he felt more in chaos now, inside, than he could ever remember feeling. He couldn't rationalize his own behaviours. How was he supposed to be able to focus enough to figure out the actions of a crazy man and then find ways to counter them as well? It just wasn't possible. It was like trying to fight a shadow that existed only in his own mind.

With that thought came a flash of the…dream, or memory, or whatever the hell that had been when he'd first woken. He could not deny the panic that had been very live and very real in his chest earlier that morning. The confusion at his inability to move, the stress on his mind and body from trying to get his limbs to cooperate. What the hell had happened? Had it just been a dream, or had it been real? It all seemed so far away now. The only solid thing that he could hold to from the experience was Matt's presence, warm and real, grounding him as he floated on tides of terror.

And perhaps that dream had been more than just a dream, more than just a memory. Maybe it revealed exactly what Tai was really afraid of: paralysis. The inability to act, the knowledge that without a face or a name to attach to this enemy, there was no way that he would be able to fight back or protect himself. The fact that he really was battling a shadow at this point and there was no way for him to win against such an enemy.

I'm going to make you mine…And when I'm done with you, you'll never be able to touch another without thinking about me.

I will own every part of you.

Tai pulled his legs tighter to himself as his stomach turned and the storm of emotions he'd been struggling to keep in check grew in intensity. He remembered every whispered word…could practically feel the breath on his neck. The bastard had spelled out exactly what it was he wanted, how he planned to get it, and proved on several occasions that he was completely capable of taking it at his leisure. It had just become a game of waiting. Waiting to see what would happen next. Waiting to see when the final move would be made. Waiting, and knowing, and still being unable to do anything about it, and that was so much a foreign concept to Tai. He couldn't even begin to imagine how to cope. It was easier to just not think about it. Thinking hurt too much.

Time passed and he sank deeper and deeper into his blankness. He heard movement outside his room—the sounds of everyday life in the apartment—but paid it little attention. He dozed a couple of times, shifting to get more comfortable, but never ventured from his bed.

Late afternoon shifted into early evening, marked by Hikari's arrival home, and the nagging voice that had been whispering at the back of his mind for the better part of the day finally began to get through. The sound of his sister's worried voice was the barb that at last managed to reach him. He was being ridiculous. Everyone was worrying about him, and what was he doing? Acting like a child. Running away, hiding. What kind of example was he setting for his Kari? If nothing else, he knew that he had to be strong for her; for all of his family, really. He knew that things were going to get worse before they got better, and if he couldn't pull himself together over the simple threat of violence, what would happen when it actually happened?

In that moment, Tai hated himself more than he had in a long time. Look at how far he had fallen. He'd already completely given up this fight before it even really began. He'd allowed himself to be manipulated from the start; had let this crazy person take control of his life and hadn't made much effort at all to stop it from happening. But the most infuriating part of it was…Tai was still letting it happen. He was aware of the fact that he had already given up, yet, for whatever reason, was unable to find that spark of defiance that would give him the strength to take on this enemy.

"But I can't keep hiding in here forever," he muttered to himself, shifting on his bed and stretching his legs out for the first time in hours. It wasn't an easy thing to do. The lack of circulation had put his right leg to sleep, and parts of him that he hadn't realized were hurt the day before were making their complaints known pretty insistently. His body was stiff, sore from lack of use. That, compounded with the tenderness and swelling of his known injuries, made getting out of bed an even bigger challenge than he had anticipated.

Moving also called attention to the fact that he needed to use the restroom—quite badly in fact—and that was motivation enough to get him edging off of his bed and making his first bid for the door that day. It took a little manoeuvring and more than a little support from the furniture in his room, but Tai eventually made it to his door, which brought him to his next challenge.

Opening it took more effort than he thought it ought to, and it had nothing to do with physical strength. That barrier of wood and metal had been protecting him from the outside for so long now. It was a difficult thing to abandon the perceived security of his room to face everything that lay beyond. It would be so easy to go back to the bed, take care of his bladder problem with and empty tea bottle and wait to see how long he could avoid the inevitable.

The image of himself, wasting away on his bed, surrounded by bottles of his own urine, was what finally got him to reach out and pull the door open. He hadn't fallen that far yet, but the fact that he had even considered that option was proof enough that there was something seriously wrong with this situation. He was shaky and weak since he hadn't eaten that day, his face and shoulders hurt from their previous abuse, but Tai was dedicated now. He would make it to the bathroom. That, at the very least, he knew he could do. I was a start.

Easing out into the light of the hall outside of his door was a disturbingly alien experience. It had only been a day, yet somehow everything outside of his room was different now. He knew that it was completely irrational, but Tai found himself observing everything around him more carefully, suspicious of his surroundings even in his own home. He could hear his mother in the kitchen, the scents of chopped vegetables strong in the air. Down the way there was light coming from Hikari's room. It would be a few hours still before his father got home. So easy…It would be so easy to sneak quietly into the bathroom, do what he needed to do and come back into his room with no one the wiser.

He took a step into the hall quietly, using the wall to balance himself. I'll just wait until dinner is done, he told himself. If I try to talk to mom now, she'll probably end up burning everything. And Hikari's probably working on homework. I'd just be distracting her from her studies if I made my presence known…yeah…

His reasoning kept him moving as quietly as possible as he made his way down the hall. He was even beginning to believe himself with some of the points he was making. But then there were familiar voices approaching his front door, a firm knock, and Tai found himself scrambling gracelessly into the bathroom and slamming the door behind him. He heard his mother's footsteps stutter, imagined her eyeing the bathroom door in concern before continuing to the front door.

He heard her call out asking who was there and knew that she would also be looking through the peep hole for confirmation. Tai, of course, needed neither to know who was visiting. His last words to Matt were still ringing in his mind, stabbing at his heart. In some distant part of his thoughts, Tai had known that his boyfriend would be back. That didn't mean, however, that Tai had any idea how he would face Matt after the things he'd said.

It seemed that he was about to get the answer to that particular dilemma. He heard his mother open the door and greet his friends, four voices that sent an unexpected wave of warmth through him. There was a shock of confusion when Tai heard Takeru's voice along with Hikari's coming from the direction of his sister's room. How had he missed that arrival? His confusion faded quickly as he heard all voices fading to the living room, but his mother stopped Yamato from continuing with the others.

"He's in the bathroom," she said. Four simple words that sounded like doom to Tai's ears. Traitor. He wasn't even surprised when he heard her walk away to offer refreshments to the group in the living room, abandoning him to the enemy at the door. And then the moment he knew was coming next.

"Tai?" Matt called, accompanied by three soft knocks. No avoiding it now.

Tai sighed and stepped further into the room. "Gimme a minute," he said, just loud enough to be heard. He had gone to the bathroom for a reason, after all. He drug out the process as long as he could, lingering whenever possible, stalling in creative ways, but after what seemed like not very much time at all, Tai was back at the bathroom door, bracing himself.

The door opened before he could muster up to courage to open it. Tai found himself faced with those penetrating, crystalline blue eyes before he was ready, and, to his own dismay, his gut response was to retreat. He turned away from the exit, falling back into the bathroom in an attempt to regain control. Why had this situation thrown him off so badly? He still couldn't understand it.

He stood facing the wall, listening as Matt stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. The silence stretched between them, a vast distance that Tai had no clue how to breech.

"You look like shit Tai, have you seriously been in your room all day?"

Apparently it was easier than Tai thought. Of all things Matt could have said in that moment, the dry assessment of his appearance had been the last thing Tai had expected. It rubbed at some part of him the wrong way, irritating him enough to round on his best friend and former rival angrily.

"If you just came here to insult me then you might as well leave before you really piss me off," he snapped. Matt didn't move for a moment then stepped forward, a funny little smirk playing at his lips.

"Let me see your wrists," he said, reaching out a hand. Tai snatched his arms out of reach, glaring. That smirk widened just so as Matt met his eyes and reached out to grab Tai's forearm with gentle hands. The obvious care that was given to the action stopped Tai from resisting further, physically—especially when he realized what Matt was doing—but Tai was still too irritated to back down completely.

"I can change my own gauze, you know?" he grumbled.

"Yeah," Matt replied, smirk growing wider, "I see you've done a bang-up job of that so far."

Tai froze at those words, their "conversation" from that morning springing freshly to his mind. Did Matt even realize that he'd used practically the same phrasing? One look at the blond's full, knowing smile answered that question and only served to increase Tai's irritation.

"Are you making fun of me?" he hissed, eyes watching Yamato's face as the other worked at unwrapping the bandages around Tai's wrists. "Is this just some kind of joke to you?"

Matt paused long enough to level a glare at Tai that made the Chosen of Courage feel like a royal ass for even asking that question. The smile that followed however was enough to make Tai stop a moment to reassess the situation. His conclusion was that for the time being, it would probably be best to just keep his mouth shut.

Matt worked quickly, pulling fresh gauze and antiseptic from the drawers in the bathroom, then using them to re-clean and wrap the ugly cuts in Tai's wrist. He took a few moments more to check the bruising on Tai's head and neck—holding Tai's face in his hands while his fingers ghosted over discoloured skin— before once again making eye contact.

"I need to know how you're doing. Really," he stated solemnly. Tai eyed him for a moment before trying to look away, but Matt held his face in place and didn't allow the contact to break. "Look, Tai. I know that this isn't easy for you, but I really need to know. We both needed time to step away from this and from each other to let things calm, but we need to try and figure this thing out now. I need you to pull yourself together to help the rest of us. Say the word and I'll leave you alone, but the Taichi I know is stronger than this. He wouldn't take this shit lying down."

It was in that moment that Tai had a bit of a revelation; an epiphany even. After he'd been attacked the day before, nothing had made sense. He'd been confused and so had everyone around him, and everything had spiralled into a whirlwind of controlled chaos with him at the centre. No one had been sure what to do at that point. It was no wonder really that he felt so fragile still. Ever since he had come home, everyone had been treating him like he was made of spun glass. But now, here was Matt, reminding him that he had work to do; that there were still people depending on him. Suddenly Tai had found that spark of defiance again, and apparently it stood before him in a blue sweater that brought out the colour of his eyes.

"I think I'm actually alright now, Yama," he said, surprised himself to know that the words were true. "I mean, there are still things that I'm gonna have to deal with, but—"

"Hey, if you guys are done in there, Jou really needs to use the bathroom!" Tai snorted a laugh as his sister's voice came from the other side of the door, laughing harder as he heard Jou's protests from further in the other room.

"But I guess that'll have to wait," Tai continued his previous sentence, "since Jou's bladder seems to be at stake." Tai made his way to the door and didn't hesitate in opening it this time. He tussled his sister's hair playfully where she was standing at the threshold grinning. He suspected that the timing of her interruption was not completely brought about by chance and accepted the unspoken message. Apparently everyone was ready for him to come out and be himself again. Who was he to deny them?

"Hey, mom! What's for dinner?" he called, stepping out to join the rest of his friends in the living room. This is what he had been missing all this time. In fear, he'd thought separating himself from the people he cared about would be for the best. Now he saw how wrong he had been. This was his strength, and he didn't plan to forget that again any time soon. "I hope there's enough for everyone."

-:- -:- -:-

Dinner was a more enjoyable affair than it had any right to be. The small apartment that the Yagamis shared was full of life that night, a stark contrast to the cautious quiet that had settled over the house during the day. For Tai it was relief. For the time that they were talking and laughing and goofing off, he could almost forget why they were there; why they had all gathered around him. Could almost forget that it was a defensive strategy.

Of course the illusion couldn't last indefinitely, and it was practical Koushiro who pulled them all back into reality once the dishes were cleared and cleaned. Mrs. Yagami had stepped away to prepare tea for the group, and Koushiro took that moment to pull out his laptop.

"I'm sorry, Taichi," he said, the regret in his voice serving to shift the mood of the room immediately. "I hate to spoil the evening, but there are some things that I need to ask to help figure out who could be doing this to you."

It helped, somehow, the way that Izzy avoided specifying exactly what he was talking about. It made it possible for Tai to think about the events of the past week almost objectively, as though he was an outside observer. He was grateful for the separation even while a part of him realized that in a way, it was just another form of avoiding the reality. At the moment, however, if that was the only way that Tai could allow himself to confront the situation, then he hoped that it would at least be a step in the right direction.

"I knew that was going to be coming up at some point this evening." Tai tried to speak lightly, but he knew as well as everyone else that he wasn't fooling anyone. It was a habit almost as old as he was, though, and in situations like this, it was easy to slip behind the mask of humour. "What took you so long Izz-man?"

"I just need to ask you if you remember any of the physical characteristics of your…assailant."

"You mean big, tall, and touchy?" Tai quipped suddenly not feeling so detached from the situation anymore. "I don't know, Iz. I was a little distracted by him choking off my air and slamming my face into the wall."

The air in the room was still, everyone feeling the tension, and no one willing to move in fear of breaking it. Matt's presence was warm at Tai's side, and he eked from it what comfort he could, but the memories were fresh and the fear still very real.

"Please, Tai," Izzy insisted, and Tai had to hand it to his friend. It took a brave soul to face down the wall that Tai was working very hard to build around himself in that moment. "Anything you can tell me. Anything at all will help me narrow down the suspects."

Another point for Koushiro. Using "me" instead of "us." Conveniently avoiding the fact that Tai was speaking to a room full of people, not that it mattered. Every person present would know the whole story eventually. Tai was fine with that. He trusted them all with his life. Having them all there actually made it easier to get the information out, but there was something about the fact that it was Koushiro heading up their investigation—something about understanding that he was the one who would be focusing the formidable strength of his Knowledge to solving the situation—that compelled Tai to speak.

"He's taller than me by at least half a head," he said into the hush of the room. His eyes were focused down, studying the gauze that was wrapped around his wrists. "He came at me from behind. Took me by surprise. Matt had just left, so when he grabbed me I…I thought…"

"Oh, god," Matt hissed from his side in understanding, arms reaching out to comfort, but Tai shrugged him off, standing instead and pacing room. When humour didn't cut it, there was another fallback that Tai tended to default to; hot, furious rage. He could feel it burning in his gut as he relived those moments; embraced the anger. Most of it was directed at the man who had attacked him, but much was directed inward.

"It all happened so fast," he continued, muttering to himself more than telling the people in the room. "He was just there, and he…" Tai realized that he still wasn't ready to go into the details, and stopped mid-sentence(and mid stride) to sort out the information that was actually needed. "His arms were long…thin, but muscular. God, he was so strong. I didn't stand a chance. But that's all I know. The bastard didn't let me see him. He knew exactly what he was doing."

Tai rounded suddenly on his mother who had forgotten about the tea as soon as the current topic of discussion had been broached.

"I'm playing in the game this weekend," he told her in a change of subject so abrupt it left the room reeling from the mental whiplash. There was no arguing with his steady gaze or the steady tone in which he spoken. His mother could only gape, speechlessly.

"Tai, we already talked about this," Matt began, the only one willing or able to go head-to-head with Tai in one of his moods.

"No, Yama," Tai bit back immediately. "You talked about this. With my mother, apparently. I had no say in the decision. Well, I'm telling both of you right now that you were wrong, and nothing you say or do is going to keep me from taking the field on Saturday."

"You know why you can't do that, Tai!" Matt snapped, clearly agitated and on a short fuse already. "You can't take the risk. I won't let you."

"You can't stop me, Yama," Tai said, voice serious, expression even more so. "I heard all of your reasons for keeping me out, but you've forgotten the most important thing here. The reason why I have to play."

Matt said nothing, simply waited for Tai to continue.

"'I will own every part of you.'" Tai growled out. "That's what that bastard said to me. He wants to own me; control me, and I'm pissed as fuck because I've been letting him!" Tai turned his back on the group, running his hands through his unruly hair as he tried to get a handle on his anger.

"Look," he said, turning back after a long moment. "He wants me to miss this game. I know it. You think the timing on this stunt was a coincidence? No, he knew how I would respond to this; probably knew how all of you would respond to it. And he knows how important this game is to me. He's still just playing with me and I'm done! I'm not playing this game anymore, and I will not let him screw my life any more than he already has."

The silence that followed his speech was vast, cavernous and black as the deepest caves at the heart of darkness. No one moved, no one breathed as the awful truth settled around the sixteen shoulders in the room.

"You're right, Tai." The words were a light in the darkness, and that light warmed as only Love could. "You're completely right. We've all been playing right into this freak's hands." Sora stood to face Tai as she continued speaking, willing every ounce of her determination into her gaze. "You will be playing in Saturday's game," she told him, her amber eyes locking with his brown. "And we're gonna be there, watching your back."

"Damn straight!" Takeru seconded, shocking the room out of its silence, and then everyone was talking at once.

"ROAD TRIP! We can go, right mom?"

"I supposed I'll just have to inform my mother that I'll be away for the weekend."

"I should be able to work on my paper on the go."

Tai stood completely still as he took in the chaos that had just erupted around him. Cell phones were pulled, calls were made, all to make ready to get him to his last soccer game of his high school career and back home again safely. Just like that. Plans were dropped, appointments changed… Tai didn't know what to say.

The first notice that he had of Matt moving towards him was the warm hand that settled at the small of his back, then the quietly spoken words. "Just like old times, right?"

"Yeah," Tai agreed, a shaky smile coming to his lips as his heart swelled with an unnameable emotion. "It is isn't it? All we need is Mimi here." Once again, The Chosen were on a mission, and for the first time in what seemed like far too long, Tai felt like he was taking control again.

-:- -:- -:-

A/N:

So…yeah. I guess I don't really have much of an excuse other than the usual. Writer's block, moved from one country to another, moved from one city to another, started grad school and a new job…nothing spectacular. I also had to figure a lot of stuff out with this sucker so…um…sorry? Thank you to those of you who are still with me. Welcome to any new readers, and congratulations to the several of you who have put the clues together and come to the correct conclusion. I guess I gave you enough time to figure that out, eh?

A special thank you to Takato the dreamer, whose PM was the final push to get me seriously focusing on finishing this chapter. As you suspected, I was just stuck. Thank you for unsticking me ^^;

Happy New Years all!