I'm jumping into this right away
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"The copter's all fueled, sir," said the pilot. He had started it again.
Suddenly, he was struck by an inspirational change of plans, as all inspirations and genius ideas usually came randomly.
"No," he said, holding up a hand, "we bait them. Here," he said, pointing to the floor of the storage unit.
This would be the final showdown bertween himself and Dethklok.
He began putting his plan into action.
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Nathan and the others all sat around the rundown living room sipping iced tea. Tessa had been told (very firmly) to go lie down by Nate and they were all discussing Selatcia.
Nathan sat sipping his over-sugared drink, not saying much. Nate had guessed that Selatcia might use Thor as bait. It seemed she was the brains beind this.
Again, he had that annoyed twinge, that feeling of feeling inferior. Did he really deserve her, for anything other than a bodyguard?
She seemed to feel his discomfort because she stopped talking and just kept thinking.
She was brilliant. She was beautiful. She was dangerous. She was metal enough to be counted among the members of Dethklok.
He didn't deserve her.
He felt a warm hand slide intself into the hand he had on the couch beside his leg and felt slightly reassured. She could read his feelings simply by watching him. In one way, it was sort of creepy; in another, it was good, becasue he wasn't one to convey such feelings as comfort and warmth. He wanted to make everything metal and blacker than the blackest black known to man.
They were slowly succeeding.
"I sinks dat Nate is right. Dat Selakia guy wants to lures us wis Thor," said Toki for the hundredth time.
"We know," said Pickles and Murderface together.
Skwisgaar hadn't said one word.
"Dis is dildos," he muttered. He looked tired.
Suddenly , one of the windows exploded in a shower of glass. In a flash, Nate was on her feet, swords drawn and at the window.
"Dude, someone threw a rock," said Pickles. He darted forward, bent down and picked it up. There was a note tied to it.
"Isn't that cliche?" asked Nathan. He was trying to prove that he, too, knew big words. He had never felt so stupid.
"Hey, it says come to the abandoned warehouse near the lakefront if you want the boy back, signed selatcia," read Pickles.
Nate gave them all a look that plainly said "I told you so".
"Okay, so this jackoff is using Thor as bait to lure us to this place to kill us," summed Nathan.
"Bout it," replied Nate.
"Well, we're not goin' are we?" asked Pickles.
"Fuck, no," said Murderface.
"Wait. I have an idea... it's got a lot of holes in it, but... it's an idea," said Nate. She looked as tired as Tessa and she also looked a little stressed for some reason.
They all sat back for a moment. Nathan finished his iced tea and leaned forwad a bit.
"You guys can go. But instead of getting slaughtered, you play a show. Use it as a distraction, you'll play it not directly at the address he gave us but near it. While you guys play, I can go to Selatcia and draw him to the stage. We rig a pyrotechnic funnel full of glass and mercury and explode it into the crowd. We get Thor back and kill Selatcia all in one," she proposed.
They all sat in silence for a few moments. It was full of holes. More than swiss cheese.
"I say we dos it," said Skwisgaar.
"Wait, we can't play a show in the middle 'a nowhere, no one'll come!" protested Pickles.
To their surprise, she laughed. It was not a humorous one.
"If Dethklok is playing in hell, I'm sure everyone will be there for it," she said. She had a point. Those regular jackoffs would follow them to the ends of the earth without a second's hesitation.
"Okay, so we plays a shows and den you gos to dat guy over deres and what about Thor?" asked Toki.
She appeared to think for a moment.
"Selatcia probably doesn't have much compassion for children. He'll probably give Thor to one of the other members of the Tribunal, someone not as cold, someone willing to make sure he's quiet. Luring Selatcia to a fight won't be hard. When I come in range of the funnel we'll set up onstage, have one of the roadies light it," she explained.
"Why Mercury and glass?" asked Murderface.
"It's the only thing from my high school chemistry classes I remember. Glass and mercury melt at the same temperature," she replied, not looking at all pleased with herself. (A/N I'm not really sure of this "fact", it's just thrown in there for theatrics)
Nathan voiced the most obvious thing of all.
"If we fire the pyrotechnic, Selatcia dies, which is good. But you'll get hit too."
"Well, I dunno about you guys, but this is quite possibly the most metal thing I've ever heard," said Murderface. No one listened to him.
"Yea, we don'ts wants yous getting hurts," said Toki, and he looked angry.
"Well, who else is going to?" she demanded. Now she looked a little angry.
"Hey, are you alright? You seem all stressed out," said Nathan.
She looked up at them all and sighed.
"Fine. I won't do it. I'll be onstage. Selatcia will want to kill me too. Remember? From those files from before, the Tribunal thought I was some sixth metalocalypse doombringer or something, so he'll want to kill me too," she gave in.
"We'll get someone we hate to do it, then. Who would we use?" asked Murderface.
No one said anything. Nathan knew who he'd like to have do it, but Dr. Rockzo was in jail.
"I shall do it, my lords," said a voice from the doorway.
The members of Dethklok stared.
There in the doorway stood the midgety #216.
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