Chapter 11: Rain and our circumstances
'Uwa! This rain is crazy!' Taiga stepped into the Takasu residence and threw her umbrella aside and started dusting off water droplets on her trench coat. Smoothly, she removed her boots and chucked them right next to the umbrella where a pool of water is forming quickly. 'Cold, cold, it's so cold!' She gave up dusting her half drenched trench coat and took it off. She made her way through the living room and headed for the bedroom, thinking that it would be best to change out of her cold attire as quickly as she could. In one swift action, she threw her trench coat to the floor and lifted her blouse over her head when suddenly –
'Wha- wha- hold on! What do you think you're doing, Taiga!' Hiding in the futon for some warmth was Ryuuji with Taiga's coat in one hand, blushing like a hot torch in spite of the rainy season. A thunder roared dramatically outside the window and the situation grew in tension. Taiga remained motionless with her head caught awkwardly in her blouse, while Ryuuji's concentration grew fuzzy. His eyes were focusing on the fair skin revealed, and despite his efforts to pry his eyes away they rebelled on their own will. 'Pl – please, Taiga, remain calm and put down your blou – hands.'
'Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!'
Everything after that happened so quickly that Ryuuji only made sense of it in an aftermath recollection: Taiga gave a shrill cry and immediately launched a round-house kick at me. Ah, but I get it, she had not intended to hurt me. I could not avoid it, so I got kicked in the face and flew out of bed. Then, she did a face palm, of all reactions yes this is the one she chose, and ran out of the room. The next thing I hear was the front door closing, footsteps pattering away. End of analysis.
Ryuuji pulled himself from the floor, his head throbbing with pain, but he had greater concerns on hand. He looked outside the window, and realized that Taiga would be running in the rain, probably with no shoes or umbrellas. That idiot! He launched at the door with rocket speed and ran out barefoot chasing her. Somehow, they had ended in such situations more than once. His physical gait had improved a great deal ever since Taiga's return, no thanks to these situations. They had moved on to greater things, solved greater issues, but this specific awkwardness seemed to forever dwell in their dark corner.
'Taiga!' He was catching up quickly, and reached out to pull her back from her escapade, which could mean serious consequences in this weather. 'Calm down, Taiga! Let's – oof – let's talk it out, okay? You're running in the rain, you could fall sick. Let's not – oomph – throw any more punches and calm down!'
'You saw it, didn't you?' Taiga's voice cracked in the rain as she hid her face behind of her long, brown wavy hair. Ryuuji swallowed hard, and desperately searched for an answer that would sound appropriate but no words came out of his mouth. 'My tiny – insignificant – you, you are definitely going to laugh at me for being a flat board are you not!' Ryuuji was torn between reactions, unsure which to first reveal – he felt that Taiga's concern was ridiculously off the charts, and how can she say that – that immodest girl! She should be worried about graver issues, like how her boyfriend just – argh!
Ryuuji avoided exploring the situation and grabbed Taiga's wrist firmly and dragged themselves across the rain-strewn roads that led to home. 'Taiga, when we're back home, take a warm bath and change out of your clothes, okay? I'd make you something warm to drink. You have long hair so make sure you dry them properly with the hairdryer. You have to work, so you're not to catch a cold, right?'
'Ryuuji,' Taiga spoke in a low voice half a minute later, Ryuuji could hear it clearly. 'I'm cold! I understand how I was acting stupidly again. And thank you for saving me.'
Ryuuji smiled in the rain, relieved that somehow, he had managed to calm her down. He too, felt cold in the rain and the low temperatures made it even more chilling. But Taiga's hands felt warm in his palm.
Sometimes he craved moments like this, feeling Taiga's warmth, he liked all these moments when he felt his senses immersed in her presence. It was comforting, and always made him crave for more. Although he held the secret within himself, at times he wondered if he could just reveal this to Taiga.
Part of the reason for his hesitance is caused by her typical response to their intimacy. They had discussed their future more than once, and decided that they should remain as traditional as they can until Ryuuji graduates and they would get married. Yasuko had insisted they share a room at the very least, and Ryuuji felt torn at times – it was like the ultimate test to his patience. But he managed the best he can by far. They had separate futons, and though sometimes they share a moment as intense as the kiss at Ryuuji's grandparent's lodge, they honored their plans.
When Taiga re-entered the room again, Ryuuji had set his resolve and was ready to try it out. 'Tai- Taiga. It - it's cold so. Can – can – can we kiss?' He observed every ounce of her reaction, his heart trembling in its anticipation, he was afraid but more than anything else, he was curious.
'No.'
Taiga turned away the minute Ryuuji proposed the kiss and Ryuuji clenched his fist tighter, hoping to control the outburst of emotions skimming beneath the surface. Her response fell within his expectation, but he never expected the hurt to be such an overwhelming feeling. He wanted to pull her into his arms, and look into her eyes to seek out what she felt however all he could manage right now was to feign indifference to all the negative thoughts forming in his mind. 'You – you really hate it don't you. Sharing a moment with me, kissing me – you really hate these moments don't you?'
'Huh! No, that's not what I meant, wait, Ryuuji! You're being unreasonable, at least hear me out!'
Ryuuji let go of the laundry basket in his hands and let its content spill over the floor, he had been trying to ward off the negative assumptions and to rely on their mutual trust. Yet Taiga's words had made him even more insecure. 'You feel that it is an unreasonable request?'
Taiga's eyes trembled and tears formed at the rim, 'I'm sorry, I did not mean it that way, what I meant was – what?! Wait, Ryuuji! What are you doing?'
Ryuuji had given up on listening to her explanation with his thoughts in complete disarray so he walked away and wanted to clear his mind. Part of him knew that he needed to be more patient, yet another dark side to him was pulling him into all sorts of assumptions. Like, maybe Taiga did not see him that way, or that Taiga finally realized that there would be better guys out there. After all, part of the reason for their arrangement was because of his education, and he was the burden in this relationship.
So he moved into his room without thinking and began packing his belongings. Right now, for the first time in his life, he felt afraid of himself. And he was also frightened of what he might say accidentally to ruin everything that they had carefully built up till now. He needed to get away.
'Stop! Ryuuji, stop packing and talk to me please! You can't do this, please don't do this, are you leaving me behind?'
Ryuuji zipped up his bag and turned to Taiga, his eyes felt heavy and his heart weighed tons in his chest as he answered as honestly as he could, 'I cannot be here. I need to go, now.'
'No! No! You cannot do this to me! You cannot walk out on me!'
'But you did walk out on me more than once before, why am I not given the right to do the same? Aren't you being unfair?'
Taiga stood motionless and tried to form a response only to fail miserably. She watched with empty eyes as he closed the door behind him, and left her alone in the quiet room.
Author's Note: The usual comedic duo is going through some changes and yes, this week's story feels a little heavy. But once in awhile, things go badly before you can admire the true beauty behind it right? Hang in there with me, we'd watch Taiga and Ryuuji grow up together :) If you feel there's is something to say, you can simply drop me a review, I'd welcome it all with open arms :)
