So I seriously apologize for this taking forever. It's been a crazy last couple of months. I've got sports, boys [and lot's of boy problems!] and I just got over a wrist injury that prevented me from typing. Not really good excuses, but still. Here's an extra long chapter to make up for it. The next chapter is basically done as well, so I'll be posting that soon too.

Disclaimer: Twilight still isn't mine.


Chapter Eleven.

Edward stands in his bedroom, pacing back and forth.

"Are you insane?" he mutters to himself, dragging his hand through his hair nervously. "What was I thinking?"

What had he been thinking? He had almost kissed Bella Swan. He was going to kiss Bella Swan. His girlfriend's sister!

And worse, she had all but run out on him. Which he knew he deserved. He was her sister's boyfriend, and he had almost kissed her. Even if Tanya was no longer around, and he and Tanya were no longer an item, it still must feel like betraying Tanya. Heck, he felt like he was betraying Tanya, of course Bella did.

He lays down on his bed and rubs his hand over his face with a groan.

How did this even happen? Today had been such a good day. He had woken up feeling okay for the first time since Tanya had died, he had fun with Alice and Bella, and now he feels worse than ever.

He rolls over and buries his face into his pillow. Closing his eyes, he can see that first day playing in front of him. He and Tanya had known each other forever, of course, everyone in Forks had. They'd been in school together since kindergarten. They'd been friends as children. But they hadn't really been anything more than that until freshman year of high school. He had been sitting in the music room, playing the piano, when she walked in. She was gorgeous, with her strawberry blond hair and her vibrant green eyes.

"Hey Edward," she said with a smile in her voice, shutting the door behind her. She held up a stack of papers in one hand. "I have some papers for Mr. Reyes?"

His fingers stopped on the keys, pausing over them. "He left a few minutes ago."

"Oh," Tanya nodded. "I guess I'll just leave these here for him."

Edward nodded, picking his tune back up as Tanya set the papers down on Mr. Reyes desk. She started to head for the door again, and then she paused at his piano, turning to look at Edward. "You play...so well. I mean, you're amazing at this, Edward."

She surprised him. Tanya was popular, she was a cheerleader, and he couldn't remember the last time she had talked to him more than a hello. "I'm not that great," he told her honestly.

She laughed. "Yeah, right. Don't be so modest."

He shrugged, a smile playing on his lips.

Tanya brushed her hair out of her eyes and smiled. "Are you going to the dance this weekend?"

"I don't know," he said absently. "I wasn't really planning on it, I guess."

"You didn't ask anyone?"

He shook his head. "No. Are you going?"

She shrugged.

"You haven't been asked?" He asked, skeptically.

She smiled and shook her head. "No, I have. But no one I want to go with," she looked at him with expectant glint in her eyes, she was waiting.

"Mm," he mused softly, his fingers dancing over the keys. "I'll pick you up at seven?"

"See you then," she winked, smiling that signature Tanya smile that had made her so popular in the first place. She headed for the door, pausing to wave before she walked out of the room.

That had been it. They had gone to the dance together, she had worn this gorgeous green dress that had brought out her eyes that he had known at that moment he would never forget what it looked like, and how she looked in it. They had their first kiss that night, and from then they had been a couple, they had been Edward and Tanya.

Dating Tanya had sky-rocketed Edward into popularity. He was sitting at the table with the football players, and soon he was on the team as well, though not with a great spot or anything. And eventually they had homecoming king and queen, and they were the it-couple.

But Tanya had always been that girl, that girl with the perfect smile and the green eyes that sparkled when she was happy. She was so alive, so vibrant, and now she was gone.

His stomach lurches, and he sits up with a start. He had been so in love her, he still was. How he's even thinking about any of this is beyond him.

There's a knock on his door, and he swallows hard. "Come in?"

The door swings open and Alice is standing there, dressed for her date with Jasper. "Hey!"

"Hi."

His mood has changed, she realizes, his carefree attitude from this morning gone. She's disappointed, but she tries not to show it. "Jasper's coming soon," she tells him.

He nods, standing up. He needs something else to think about, he needs a distraction. He follows Alice down the stairs, just as the doorbell rings. Alice bounces forward, a smile lighting her face she opens the door. She throws her arms around Jasper, and brushes her lips against his quickly, before grabbing his hand and leading him into the house.

Jasper looks surprised to see Edward up and about. "Hey, man," he says, with a tentative smile, but it's full of acceptance.

If there's anything that has kept Edward from his friends, it's that he's worried about what they will think. The Swan's thoughts on the situation is clear, and he knows that a lot of the town shares the same feelings. And his friends were Tanya's friends, so why should they feel any different?

Edward walks over to him. "Hey," he says, and Jasper sticks out his hand, and they shake and everything is cool between them. Jasper doesn't blame him, and everything is good.

Alice is all smiles as she watches the exchange, though she knew that Jasper didn't feel any ill towards Edward. She entwines her fingers through Jasper's other hand and smiles up at them, because regardless of what was up ahead, she felt hope for her brother, for the first time since Tanya died.

When Bella ends up at the Cullen house the next day, she's determined not to mention anything about what happened yesterday. These feelings are not going to rule her. She's going to pretend they never happened. She needs too. Because even if she does really like Edward, and he wasn't still in love with Tanya, would she ever be anything than a replacement for Tanya to him? She'll just get hurt. It's better for both of them this way.

It is better this way, she reminds herself as she knocks on their door.

"Hi Bella!" Alice chirps as she opens the door. "Come on in!"

Bella follows her inside, into the living room, where Edward and Jasper are hanging out.

"Hey Bella," Jasper says, smiling at her.

She hardly knows Jasper, but she smiles anyway. "Hey."

Edward smiles at her, but he looks nervous, so she just smiles hesitantly back and sits down on the other side of the room from him.

Alice plops down on Jasper's lap and smiles at the group around her. "What do you guys want to do?"

"Watch a movie?" Edward says with a careless shrug.

"No. No more movies. I am movied out," she declares. "We need to get out of this house."

Edward and Bella exchange unsure glances. "Uh, Alice..." Bella starts.

"Ali, I'm not sure-"

"Stop. Both of you. What are you going to do, stay in the house all summer? Come on guys, you both need some fresh air."

Staying in the house all summer was basically what both of the did have planned. Edward wasn't ready to face that sort of judgement that was sure to come, and Bella had had a difficult enough time going back to dance without facing the entire town. Staying inside all summed seemed like a much better option. To both of them.

"So how about we go get some food? Pizza?" Alice suggests.

"Pizza sounds good," Jasper agrees.

"I don't know, Alice, I'm not sure I'm ready for this," Bella says softly.

Alice smiles at her. "I know, Bella. But waiting isn't going to make it easier. You need to get out there and face this, face the world. Both of you do," she says in a soft voice, hoping that they don't take what she's saying wrong.

"It's all going to be fine," she adds.

The only reason Bella agrees is because she knows that Alice isn't going to let this go. Edward never really does agree, he just numbly follows the group as they head out to Jasper's truck. He and Bella end up crammed in a much too small backseat.

"Uh, Ali, why do you get shotgun? He asks, grimacing as Jasper drives over a bump.
"I'm his girlfriend."

"Yeah, and that's great. But I'm 6'1," he grumbles pointedly.

Alice just rolls her eyes, while Bella glances at the teenager beside her and grimaces as his bent legs, but she keeps silent. Edward sighs in defeat, turning his head to stare out the window.

There's only one pizza place in town, and it's one of the only places to eat in town, besides the diner, so it's a popular hang out. Bella and Edward are both relived to find that it's not very busy today.

They find a seat in the back of the restaurant, and Bella absently looks through the menu, even though she knows the entire thing by heart practically, she's eaten here enough over the past seventeen years.

"What can I-oh wow. Hi."

Bella's head jerks up, and she sees Kate Winters standing in front of them. She's surprised, first and foremost, to see Kate working, especially at the pizza palace. She's wearing the standard uniform, black slacks, a white shirt, and the black apron, and she's hardly recognizable. Kate and Tanya were friends...sort of. They had been friends-real friends-as children, but as they got older they merely hung out for the social aspect. Bella had heard Tanya bashing Kate on more than one occasion.

Kate brushes her brown curls over her shoulder, glancing from Bella to Edward. "You guys are hanging out..?" she asks.

Bella cringes, because she knows that tone. By tomorrow everyone they know will know that Bella Swan and Edward Cullen are 'hanging out'. Kate loves gossip.

"We're friends," Bella mumbles, still staring at the menu.

"Uh huh. I see," Kate says, smiling.

"I'd like a coke," Alice says in a clipped voice, smiling tightly at the older girl.

"Sure," Kate turns to Alice with a smile. "How about you Jasper?"

The three of them order cokes as well, and Kate disappears back to the kitchen.

"I can't believe she's working here," Alice rolls her eyes. "I give her two weeks tops."

Bella swallows hard and nods. Her hands are shaking a little bit, and she doesn't know why. She glances at Edward, and he's avoiding her gaze.

She takes a deep breath, and tries to focus on whatever Alice is saying.

Kate comes back with their drinks, and orders their pizza without another word, but she keeps that smug little smile in place.

After a slice of pizza that Bella has no appetite for, she excuses herself and walks outside, to the side of the restaurant. She leans against the brick wall, and inhales the cool air deeply. It's going to rain, for the first time in days. She's almost gotten used to sunshine, and she laughs bitterly at that. Who lives in Forks and gets used to sunshine?

"What are you doing out here?"

Bella doesn't have to turn to know it's Kate. "Getting some air," she says shortly.

"I have to say Bella, I'm really surprised that you're hanging out with the Cullen's. I mean, he's practically the reason Tanya's gone."

"How is he the reason Tanya is gone?" she asks in what she hopes is a calm voice.

Kate shrugs, reaching into the pocket of her apron and pulling out a package of cigarettes. She takes one out and lights it. "Well he was driving the car."

"So what? Doesn't mean he's responsible. That doesn't mean...anything."

"You keep telling yourself that, Bella," Kate tells her, her voice indulgent, like she's speaking to a child. "I know Edward's a good looking guy, and really popular too, but do you really think he'll date you? I mean, you are her sister, but-"

"What are you talking about? Edward and I are not...anything like that," Bella says, feeling the cold hard truth that she and Edward are just in fact ...friends. "We're just friends. We both lost someone we loved," she snaps.

Kate holds up a hand. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or something."

"Sure you didn't," Bella mutters in her direction, heading back inside the restaurant. When she gets to their table, she doesn't sit back down, instead she reaches for her wallet and cell phone she left sitting on the table. "I can't stay here..." she says, trailing off as she feels tears threaten to fall.

"Oh, Bella," Alice says, standing up. "We'll go home, just let Jasper pay real quick, okay?"

"I can pay for myself," she manages.

Alice smiles and shakes her head. "Thanks Bella, but it's okay. I wanted us to go out, it's taken care of."

She doesn't have the strength to argue, so she just nods and lets Alice and Jasper pay the bill for the pizza, and the four of them walk back out to Jasper's truck.

Edward's been silent throughout most of the dinner, and she doesn't ask him if he's okay, because chances are he feels like her right now. And she knows. So when they lock eyes as they fasten their seatbelt, she nods, and he nods back, and she knows that they're both still sort of okay.