The music was playing softly in the background. Steve walked through the doors. He was pulled into a large group of people and everyone was smiling and dancing. Steve looked around and he was in the middle, he couldn't go anywhere, he could hear the drums banging loudly, they almost sounded like explosions. He turned and he saw Peggy standing in front of him and he took a step forward and someone bumped into him. He stumbled and looked for Peggy, but he couldn't find her.
Steve took a step forward and he felt someone shove into him and he stumbled back, he got knocked into a table. He hit the floor and he saw everyone looking down at him, they were smiling and drinking. He heard the drums beat again and he tried to stand, but someone kicked him in the face. He hit the floor and he could taste blood in his mouth and he sat up and everyone was gone. The bar was dark and it was cold.
He stood to his feet and his jaw ached from someone's foot hitting him. He walked through the empty bar and he felt the floorboards creak from his boot pressing against it. He got to the door and he pushed it open and dust fell from the edges and he walked out. He saw the sky was dark and clouds over casted the sky, he walked into the middle of the street and he looked up. He saw a large cloud that came from the ground and he saw that something was falling down from the sky.
Steve felt the cold wind touch his bones and he shivered, he heard a loud roar as he saw a large bomber fly over him. He saw the bomber banked to the right and flew back around. Steve watched as it came back toward him and it flew over him again and a large gust of wind blew past him and he saw something coming down toward him. He watched as it flew down and landed in front of him and a bright light hit his eyes, making him look away.
He felt the wind pick up around him and he felt the cold air become warm and he took his arm away from his eyes and everything was green. He was standing in a yard of a house and he was standing in close cut grass. He could feel the sun on his back and he saw the door to the house open. He saw a little boy run out toward him. Steve watched him sprint at him "Dad!" the boy yelled happily.
Steve felt his heart jump and he instantly bent down and picked the boy up and held him in his arms. He saw the boy had brown hair and blue eyes, he looked like his mother. He smiled and the little boy put his arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Steve looked past and he looked at the door, Peggy was standing at the door and she was smiling, she had a baby in her arms and Steve took a breath and the air hurt as it traveled to his lungs.
He started to walk forward and he felt his legs becoming lighter as he got closer to Peggy. Steve smiled and he made it to the door and he leaned forward and kissed Peggy and he felt the small baby in her arms move and he felt a little hand touch his arm. He closed his eyes and he opened them and he was alone and everything was dark. He stood alone and he looked around and he couldn't see anyone.
He heard a crunch behind him and he turned, Schmidt was standing next to the mailbox and he chuckled. "You Captain, are alone. You should have done more"
Steve frowned and he saw that Peggy was lying at his feet and he saw her eyes were open and she was staring at him. He felt her eyes beaming at him and he took in a breath and exhaled shakily.
Schmidt started to laugh and he smiled. Steve took a step forward and he saw Schmidt pull out a pistol and shoot him. He felt the bullet burn through his chest and then another one and another. He fell to his knees and he felt his chest burning. He felt weak and cold, he saw Schmidt walk forward and he shot him in the head, a white flash made his eyes ache. He felt himself hit the ground and he opened his eyes and he saw lying next to Bucky.
Steve saw Bucky staring back at him and his eyes were emotionless and he saw that Bucky was limp and his chest wasn't moving, he stared at his dead friend. He went to move and he felt his arm ache and burning pain moved up his body and he shut his eyes because of the pain and he opened them and he was underwater.
He was being pinned by ice and he struggled and all the air left his lungs and he yelled as the cold water flowed into his throat as his body tried to breathe for air, but all that was found was freezing water. Steve felt it burn his chest and his heart was beating a mile a minute and he could hear it in his ears and he felt every beat as if his body was his heart. He felt the strong rapid beating start to slow and he then it was nonexistent. He stared at the broken canopy and he saw the bomber was sinking, he saw his vision beginning to darken and he saw a small compass float past him and he saw Peggy smiling at him. His spasm made him lean forward and he closed his eyes and everything burned.
Steve forced his eyes to open and eh shot upward and eh fell out of his bed and hit the floor hard. He could feel his chest burning and he was breathing hard and he gasped as he felt his heart beating. He looked around frantically and he had his hand on his chest. He crawled to the wall and he pushed himself up and he leaned against it. He sighed and he felt himself beginning to calm down.
He closed his eyes and he they burned with tears and they fell down his face, he put his head in his hands. He took a deep breath and looked around his room. It was morning or afternoon, he didn't know. He was shaking slightly and he could feel his heart beating against his chest. He slowly stood up, he caught himself with his hand on the wall and he kept himself from falling over. He was covered in sweat and he wiped tears from his eyes, he walked into the bathroom and he turned on the faucet and he splashed cold water onto his face.
He looked at himself in the mirror and he watched as the water dripped off of his chin and ran down his cheeks. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, he was ok, he wasn't in the bomber, and he was in his apartment. Steve opened his eyes and he turned toward the shower and he opened the glass door and he turned the water on. He pulled his shirt off and he let the damp shirt land on the floor. He let his pants fall and he pushed down his boxers. He walked into the shower and closed the door and as it slammed shut he flinched and hit the wall with his shoulder and he shuddered slightly.
He closed his eyes and he felt the warm water splattering against his skin, he took a deep breath and he stepped under the water and he let it flow over his body and threw his hair. He stood there with the warm water flowing over him, he opened his eyes and he stared at the shower head. He watched the small streams over hot water being projected out of it, he looked down and he took a deep breath and he grabbed his shampoo. He began washing his hair and he took his time, he wasn't in a hurry for anything else.
He shut the water off as soon as the hot water became less warm and he stood there with steam all around him. He pushed the door open and he walked out and he grabbed his towel that he usually used and he dried his body off. He opened the door and walked into his bedroom and he didn't care to cover up, he let the towel stay on the floor in the bathroom and he walked to his closet.
He grabbed some clothes and put them on, he was standing at his dresser before long and he decided that he would go talk to Jack. Steve gathered his things and he grabbed his usual leather jacket and his keys and left the apartment. He walked to the gym and he guess that was where Jack would be. Steve saw the gym down the street and he crossed the street and walked toward it. He dodged a busy woman walking down the sidewalk with her phone planted at her ear.
He made it to the entrance and he opened the door, he walked in and he heard voices around the corner on the main floor. Steve walked around the corner and he saw Jack's friends: Henry, Jerry, and John. Jerry saw Steve and he shook his head, Henry walked forward "Steve, good to see you"
Steve smiled slightly "I came to see Jack"
John looked at the floor and Jerry looked uncomfortable. Henry looked back at them and he took a deep breath "Yeah, we have some bad news"
Steve instantly felt his heart drop and his smile faded from his lips. Henry took a minute and he finally spoke "Jack passed away last night"
Steve heard a loud scoff from John "Passed away, you mean a young punk shot him"
Steve frowned "I talked to Jack last night, when did it happen?"
"It was on his way home from dinner with his granddaughter." Henry said
Steve looked at Jerry "Did heā¦did he"
"Suffer? The bullet hit him in the gut and he bled out in an alley as the young kid ran away scared out of his mind"
"He fucking bled out in the dark and alone, fucking kid" John said
Henry sighed "Sorry about John, he's not taking it well"
"How is it you two are?" Steve asked
"Jack had stage four cancer, it was in his bones" Jerry answered him.
Henry gave him a sad smile "He was diagnosed last year"
John walked away and he smacked his hand into a wall and he left the gym. Jerry sighed "He'll be alright, just needs to calm down"
Henry nodded and looked back at Steve "Listen Steve, Jack would have wanted this gym to stick around, he gave it over to S.H.I.E.L.D. he said and I quote 'It is for Steve Roger's use only', he talked about you for years, I'm just happy that he actually met you before he left."
Steve chuckled "I enjoyed our talks"
Henry chuckled "Jack did always know how to talk"
Steve nodded "I'll get out of your hair"
Henry gave him a nod "Steve, I know it's not the best thing that happened, but it's better this way. He always said he would rather die from a bullet than by being sick"
Jerry shook his head "Ironic"
Henry nodded "But he had no regrets except maybe making his wife wait too long"
Steve chuckled and he nodded "He was a good man"
Steve left it at that, he was back in his apartment and he sat at his desk and he watched the clock go by, it was soon dark and Steve couldn't sleep.
Steve was sitting in his room and it was dark, the only light was from his lamp on the desk. He sat quietly and he slowly breathed and he stared at the file in front of him. He didn't know what to do now, he lost everyone, even Jack, he may not have known him for years, but he knew him well enough to miss him. Steve sighed and he placed his hand on the file and he almost opened it, but he took his hand away, he had been through enough sorrow for a while. He didn't know what to do.
He lost or was losing everyone, what did he have? He really had nothing, only himself and the occasional visit from Fury. Steve closed his eyes, maybe he was right and that he should have stayed dead. Maybe Jack was right and that he just needed to push on, keep going, maybe this place would surprise him. He didn't know, he had a gun in his dresser and maybe he could shoot himself, then what would that do? Make more of a mess, Jack was right, he was needed and maybe he could do just that, he could help now and try to make up for all the time he missed.
Steve wasn't tired, and he wasn't going to look at the file, not today. He just sat at his desk and stayed in his thoughts, he didn't care if he was awake all night, and he was just trying to talk himself down from actually shooting himself. He needed to put his focus on something and even though he had lost so much, he had reasons to stay, even if it wasn't because of someone he knew, but it was for the people that he didn't know, the ones that he could help and he didn't know them. He may be broken, but at least he could start to mend himself back together, no one else was going to do it, Enwine said it was up to him, and he was right, Steve was going to push on and figure it out, he was going to help whoever he could, and that meant going back into active duty. He just needed one more thing to brush up on; tactics.
