Hi All, It's Monday and the weather is awful where I am but it means I've had time to finish this chapter. Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter and if you have time please write a review or PM me with your thoughts. Best Wishes Mx

ELLIOT

The conversation I had with Matt earlier plays on my mind as I hike through the National Park with Christian. Kate and Ana have gone shopping to allow me and my brother some alone time. Christian was tense at the start of the walk but has started to relax after just over an hour.

'Have you and Kate got any plans for Christmas?' Christian asks.

'I think she's spending it with her parents. I was invited but will probably just head to Bellevue for the day.' I reply.

'I'm thinking of taking Ana to visit her mom. It might be the last chance we get before the baby arrives.' Christian says.

'You have your own empire you can go whenever you want, it doesn't have to be Christmas.' I say.

'Will you miss me?' Christian asks with his usual smirk.

'Of course. It won't be the same just having a few beers with dad.' Elliot says.

'Matt might be back by then.' Christian says.

'What makes you say that?' I ask.

'He phoned the other day. He's trying to make contact wherever he is.' Christian says.

'What did you actually say to him that scared him off?' I ask.

'I don't remember.' Christian mutters.

'Oh come on Christian, you remember everything.' I say.

'I was just so angry with him. More angry than I have ever been before with anyone. I can't remember my exact words but it ended with me going on about how I wouldn't allow him to bring shame on the family and he had to leave and have no contact with any of us.' Christian says.

'Did you feel guilty when you found out it was insulin he was injecting?' I ask.

'No, the little shit should have told me.' Christian says.

'Perhaps you scared him so much he couldn't speak.' I say.

'Probably.' He says.

'Why didn't you invite him on the weekend trips to Aspen or Portland?' I ask. Christian stops and looks at me through narrow eyes. Shit, I think I've messed up without meaning to.

'Why would you think I didn't invite him?' Christian now asks.

'Because Hannah…..' I start to say.

'Hannah wouldn't have known if I'd invited them or not. I didn't send the invite to Kate, I sent it to you and left it up to you to tell her about it.' Christian says.

'So did you send one to Matt?' I ask.

'No.' he says quietly. 'I was cross with him for being so irresponsible in getting Hannah pregnant. It wasn't just me, mom was as well. Remember they moved to Mia's apartment. It got to the stage when it was easier not to see him or have him around. The afternoon that I went to his office was actually to apologise and make things right between us. Having all the family in Portland for Ana's birthday and him not being there felt wrong. I missed him.'

'And how do you feel about him now?' I ask. Christian pauses while he thinks of how to answer this one.

'I miss him, but I'm also angry with him still. How could he just disappear like that? I've had security looking for him but nothing has come to light. He hasn't even touched his bank account. How does he manage for money?' Christian says.

'Maybe he got a job.' I say.

'Elliot have you heard from him?' Christian asks. I gulp. I promised dad.

'No.' I say and then hope that this is one of those times that the ground will open up and swallow me. I add truthfully 'I just hope he's home for Christmas.'

'Yes, that would make mom happy.' Christian adds.

'If he was would you stay here so that the whole family could be together? That would make mom happy.' I say.

'I'm not sure.' Christian says. We carry on walking for a while in silence and I think that I must get my brothers back on speaking terms so that we could maybe spend some of the holiday period together, that would be the best present for everyone this Christmas.

GRACE

I am so happy, today has been perfect. After shopping at the school Christmas craft fayre we stopped at the supermarket for groceries and then brought them back to the house before we strolled into town for a wander up the High Street. We went to the bakery for fresh bread and rolls before making our way towards the harbour and the restaurant DD's on the cove for lunch. The food was once again magnificent and it was wonderful seeing Matt choose things from the menu that I'd never seen him order before. I didn't make a fuss but I could see his smirk as I watched in wonder. When we'd ever been to any restaurant before he has always ordered the lasagne and I admit I was slightly worried when it wasn't on the menu, but he shocked me when he ordered the cod with potatoes and vegetables, he never even used to eat potatoes unless they were cold in a salad. After lunch it was a brisk walk back as the temperature had dropped. After putting on some extra layers we went to the Christmas tree farm, Carrick drove Hannah and I in his car and we followed Matt in his truck. It was lovely to choose the trees together, yes trees, we ended up with three. One for the main living room, another for the hallway and another for the corner of the large kitchen diner. Matt would have liked another for the TV room but Hannah thought three was plenty. Carrick dropped Hannah and I at the mall to shop while Matt dropped the trees at home and Carrick picked him up so they could both then join us to choose some more tree decorations. I think Matt had also taken the opportunity to buy Hannah some gifts as he had a few shopping bags by the time him and Carrick caught up with us. When we returned to the house we had hot chocolates to warm us through and we decorated the tree in the hallway. Hannah and I then made a start on dinner. I have made a lasagne and Hannah is just finishing chopping apples to go in the fruit salad for dessert. The men were relaxing in front of the TV with some beers and the sports channel.

'Dinner smells good.' Carrick says as he comes into the kitchen with some empty bottles.

'It's only lasagne.' I say as he comes and kisses me.

'Matt will be happy when he wakes up. He's crashed out on the sofa.' Carrick says.

'He was up early studying this morning.' Hannah says.

'I know but it's not like him to sleep in the daytime.' I say. 'Dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes.'

'Oh good, I'll just finish reading the newspaper.' Carrick says as he settles himself at the table.

'Cary, how many beers did Matt have?' I ask.

'We had a couple each.' Carrick says. 'Why? You sound concerned.'

'He asked you to bring the beers which means he's probably not had any alcohol the last few months.' I say and start to walk towards the TV room quickly. Carrick and Hannah follow behind. 'Did he take his insulin?'

'I don't know, I think so. He had his backpack by him all afternoon but you know what he's like it's over before you can see and I don't take much notice. Why are you panicking?' Carrick asks.

'The insulin and the alcohol will make his blood sugar low, maybe too low. He might be in hypo at the moment.' I say as I enter the TV room.

'Which means?' Carrick asks.

'He needs sugar.' I say. I go towards the sofa where Matt does look like he's fast asleep. I gently shake him and get no response. 'Hannah did this ever happen when you were at Mia's.'

'No.' Hannah mutters and goes a deathly shade of pale. She sits down on the sofa and kisses Matt's forehead. No response so I rifle through his backpack until I find the glucagon kit that I'm looking for and start mixing the powder and liquid.

'Carrick can you put him in the recovery position. Hannah please go and get a couple of towels and a bucket or something similar in case he's sick.' I say. Hannah dashes off straight away as Carrick moves Matt. I inject and sit back. 'Hopefully he'll come round in ten minutes or so.' I say. Hannah appears with the towels and I place one over the sofa by his head.

'Can I do anything else?' Hannah asks.

'Yes, go and get a small bowl of that fruit salad and one of those bread rolls. He'll need to eat when he wakes. The sugar in the fruit will be good initially and then the carbs in the bread.' I say. Hannah disappears again.

'What can I do Gracie?' Carrick asks gently.

'Hug me.' I say as he comes and envelopes me in his arms.

'At least you know what you're doing?' Carrick says. 'I wouldn't have had a clue.'

'I've done it many times.' I mutter.

'Gracie you're shaking.' Carrick says.

'It feels different when it's your own son.' I say. I pull away and go and kneel beside Matt. He starts to stir, he groans and as I predicted he promptly throws up. Luckily we were prepared.

'Mom.' He murmurs.

'It's OK darling boy.' I say.

'You're here.' He says quietly. He's obviously disorientated.

'Yes darling.' I say. Hannah brings the fruit and I manage to get him to sip some lemonade first that she has also brought before he eats some of the fruit salad. He sits up and grins at Hannah.

'Did I scare you?' he asks.

'Yes.' Hannah says.

'Sorry.' Matt says but he's still smiling. 'Good job you were all here.'

'It's a good job your mom was here, me and your dad wouldn't have had a clue what to do.' Hannah says as she sits down beside him. Carrick has disappeared with the towel and bucket. Matt finishes the fruit and I pass him the bread roll which he takes without question.

'Darling, has that happened before?' I ask.

'No.' Matt mutters.

'Did you take your insulin?' I ask.

'Yes. I had a couple of beers with dad and then just took it without thinking. I probably didn't need it did I?' Matt says.

'No, the alcohol would make your blood sugar high initially but then would have naturally lowered your glucose levels and the insulin brought it down further.' I say.

'I'm normally so careful with checking and I haven't had any beer since I came here.' Matt says and looks away.

'Darling it's OK. We've upset your routine.' I say.

'I messed up though.' He says quietly.

'It's OK, these things happen.' I say. 'Dinner is almost ready and you need to eat properly.'

'I know, have I got time for a quick shower. I feel fine.' Matt says.

'Sure darling. Go and get yourself together and we'll go and set the table so everything is ready.' I say. He stands and walks out to the shower room, Hannah is still sat on the sofa.

'That scared me.' Hannah says.

'Me too.' I admit. 'If he's normally so careful it shouldn't happen very often, if ever again. I'll talk you through what to do though so that you feel more confident with it all.'

'Thanks. I'm frightened I'll just panic.' She says.

'You won't, you'll go into automatic mode. If Matt had realised or Carrick had recognised what was happening then we could have just got some sugar into him quickly. I know he's not overly keen on chocolate bars but it would have done the trick.' I say.

'Actually there are a few things that he likes now. When we were in England he seemed to like plenty of stuff like that and would have some chocolate each day.' Hannah says.

'Let me guess, maltesers, galaxy bars, aeros and curly wurlys.' I say with a smile.

'Yes you're right. He was initially drawn to the red packet of the maltesers and then couldn't get enough of them before he started trying other things.' Hannah says.

'His daddy used to bring him them back from his business trips.' I say as we walk into the kitchen. Hannah starts to set the table as I check on the lasagne and put garlic breads in the oven before making a salad. 'There's a new candy store open at the Bravern centre and it sells English chocolate and candies, I'll get him some this week so that he has a supply.'

'Thanks Grace.' Hannah says as her phone rings. 'It's Christian, should I answer?'

'Yes, just talk to him quickly while Matt is in the shower.' I say. I start to get out the plates and cutlery as I listen to Hannah's side of the conversation.

'Hi Christian.' 'Yes I'm good thanks.' 'I've been out to lunch with your parents.' 'Yes we're still away for the weekend.' 'It's been a lovely break.' She says.

'Mom.' Matt almost shouts as he comes into the kitchen. 'Can we start the jigsaw after dinner?' I freeze and look at Hannah. She has a look of horror on her face.

'Yes.' She says quietly and I can just imagine what the question was. We all look at Matt as he looks at Hannah and then the phone.

'No.' he shouts.

'Darling.' I say in an effort to keep him calm.

'He will kill me.' Matt shouts.

'I won't.' Christian says as Hannah puts the speaker on the phone. Matt sits down at the table and we all follow to sit with him. Hannah takes his hand as she sits beside him. 'Matt I said a lot of things in the heat of the moment.'

'Dad just found me. I didn't mean to make contact. I'm sorry.' Matt says quietly and I can see he's shaking.

'Did I really say I would kill you?' Christian asks.

'Yes.' Matt whispers.

'I'm sorry. I was so angry with you.' Christian says gently. Matt doesn't reply, he stands and walks out of the kitchen. Carrick gets up and follows him while I sit opposite Hannah.

'Christian, Matt's upset. He's just walked out.' Hannah says.

'I said I was sorry, what more can I do?' Christian asks.

'Just give him time.' I say. 'It wasn't the best time to speak to him, he's in shock and he's just recovering from a hypo.'

'A what?' Christian says.

'A diabetic coma.' Hannah says dryly.

'Is he OK?' Christian asks with concern.

'He is now but I do need to finish getting dinner ready, he needs to eat.' I say.

'Why didn't you tell me you'd found him?' Christian asks.

'Because he is too scared of you.' Hannah says.

'What did I do?' Christian asks.

'You threatened to cut his hands off so that he could never play the piano again, gouge his eyes out so he couldn't see the baby and then inject him with something to kill him.' Hannah says angrily. I gasp. 'I'm sorry Grace, Matt probably didn't want you to know all that and I apologise in advance if I swear. Christian your little brother who has idolised you all his life is absolutely petrified of you finding him. You can be so cruel at times. You told him to have no family contact. How could you deny him and me the chance to be with each other when I needed him? He has missed coming to scans with me to meet the babies. He hasn't played the piano in three months. What if your dad hadn't bumped into him by accident? Would I have had to be a single mother? Deserted by her husband of three days. Fuck Christian I am so angry with you right now, what gave you the right to interfere?' Tears are streaming down Hannah's cheeks and I go to give her a hug but Matt beats me to it. Where did he appear from?'

'Baby it's OK. Hush baby. Don't get upset.' Matt says as he envelopes her in a hug. 'We will be OK now.' Carrick picks up the phone from the table and must click off the speaker.

'Christian, I'll call you later.' Carrick says as he walks out of the kitchen. I don't hear the rest of his conversation. I watch Matt as he wipes away Hannah tears and kisses her lips gently.

'Please don't cry.' Matt says gently.

'I was so angry.' Hannah whispers.

'I know baby, I heard' Matt says and smiles at her. 'Don't worry, everything will be fine. I love you.'

'Shit I told him we were married, I'm sorry I didn't mean to.' Hannah says.

'He had to find out sooner or later. Mom and dad know and they didn't freak out like we thought they would.' Matt says and he looks over to me and grins. 'Though this is Christian we are talking about.'

'Exactly.' Hannah says. 'I need to wash my face before dinner.'

'I'll come with you.' Matt says as the wander out to the one of the many bathrooms. They probably just want some privacy. Carrick comes back into the kitchen and places the phone on the side before giving me a hug.

'That went as well as could be expected.' Carrick says with a smirk.

'Was Christian angry?' I ask.

'More confused and apologetic. I think it would be good to get both boys to meet sooner rather than later. I told him I would phone him after dinner. He was just going out with the others to a restaurant.' Carrick says. 'Can I help you with anything?'

'No it's OK, I just need to get the lasagne out of the oven.' I say. 'Why did Matt walk out earlier?'

'Because he didn't know how he was feeling. He didn't want to get upset or angry and the easiest thing for him to do was walk away. It wasn't the best timing for Christian to find out where we were after what's happened this evening. By the way you were brilliant as always, I just thought he was sleeping.'

'I was acting on pure instinct. I knew something wasn't right and then the doctor in me kicked in. It was only afterwards that I realised how scared I was. Earlier you said how Matt was no trouble compared to the others but he more than makes up for it with his health scares. I just hope that Hannah can cope with it all.'

'They will be fine together. Matt has managed on his own up to now.' Carrick says. 'Maybe we should employ a housekeeper for them, I could talk to Matt about converting the roof above the new garage into living accommodation.'

'You know what the answer will be, he's too much like Simon in that respect. He would rather do everything himself.' I say.

'I know but Christian has Mrs Jones, I thought I could try and persuade him especially as it would make sense when the twins arrive. He'll be at school and Hannah will be here alone with them.' Carrick says.

'OK, talk to him tomorrow. Let's sit down for dinner now.' I say as Matt and Hannah appear in the kitchen once more.

CHAPTER 12-DUE TO PROBLEM POSTING IT'S HERE TEMPORARILY.

Happy New Year to you all. Hope 2015 will be a good one for you.

I was hoping this story would be much further along by now but I was wiped out with a bout of pneumonia at the start of December. I'm feeling so much better now and am slowly recovering. Hopefully as I recuperate I will find more time to write.

Please review if you get the time as this helps and encourages me to write more.

Best Wishes Mx

HANNAH

We've just finished decorating tree number two, it's the one in the kitchen and now we're settling down to start one of the jigsaws that we brought yesterday. Matt has been on great form all evening, joking, teasing and entertaining everyone. Now and again I get a small kiss, a quick hug or a stroke of my belly, nothing over the top in front of his parents but just little reminders that he loves me. I love this man with all my heart. Grace and Carrick have done so much to help me over the last few months and I will always be grateful to them.

CARRICK

As Matt and Hannah settle down at the table with the jigsaw I make my excuses and say that I have a couple of calls to make. Matt has offered me the use of his study and as I enter I am instantly drawn to the photo of Simon and Sue, the best friends of Grace and I and who can never be replaced. Many times over the last three months I feel like we have let them down, though I would never admit it to Grace. They entrusted us to look after their one and only precious son and for thirteen years we probably over protected him. After meeting him on Thursday and spending time with him yesterday and today I can see that the last three months have been good for him, he's matured into a fine young man and nothing seems to phase him, he just gets on with things unless it concerns the brother who he has always hero worshipped. I sigh and pick up my phone and hit speed dial.

'Dad.' Christian says as he answers on the first ring.

'Hi Christian.' I say.

'How's Matt?' he asks with concern.

'As entertaining as ever.' I say.

'I'm so sorry for the things I said to him.' Christian mutters.

'I know.' I say.

'Do you think he'll speak to me and let me apologise?' Christian asks.

'I should think so, just don't try and rush him. He'll do it in his own time. He's already surprised me by speaking to Mia and Elliot so he might call you sooner rather than later.' I say. 'Don't do anything stupid like turn up on his doorstep tomorrow, he's not ready for that yet.'

'OK, I'll try and be patient.' Christian says. 'Is Hannah OK? I upset her earlier.'

'She's fine. She's doing a jigsaw with Matt at the moment.' I say.

'Did you warn her that Matt will have a piece in his pocket so that he's the one to put the last piece in so he gets to finish it.' Christian says.

'No because I caught her doing the exact same thing, though she doesn't know I saw her.' I say.

'They're as bad as one another. Are they really married?' Christian asks.

'Yes.' I say.

'Jeez, when did they do that without anyone finding out?' Christian says.

'The weekend we were all in Portland for Ana's birthday.' I say.

'So it would have been better to invite them.' Christian mutters.

'Yes. I don't understand how you could leave them out. How many years did it take to convince him that we all loved him for being himself and not just because we were friends with Simon and Sue.' I say.

'I'm sorry.' Christian says quietly.

'What's done is in the past. We need to look to the future and be a proper family again. Mom dreams of us all being together especially when the babies arrive.' I say.

'OK. I'll wait for Matt to contact me and do anything I can to sort everything out with him to make things right.' Christian says.

'Thanks Christian. I'd better go so will catch up with you in the week.' I say.

'OK dad.' Christian says and clicks off. I switch mine off and then head out to the kitchen. The jigsaw is still in progress but Hannah's laptop is on and Mia is on the screen. Matt has his t-shirt off and is posing in front of the laptop so Mia is giggling.

'Hi Mia.' I say.

'Hi dad.' Mia replies. 'Matt you can put your top back on now.'

'No I might stay like this so that you can still see my muscles.' Matt replies as he stands. 'Beer dad?'

'Please.' I mutter as he heads to the fridge.

'Mom do you want to finish this wine?' Matt asks.

'OK darling.' Grace says.

'I wish I was there with you.' Mia says.

'You'll be back on Wednesday.' Grace says.

'Elliot's coming to visit on Thursday if you want to come with him.' Matt shouts across the kitchen.

'Yes of course I do.' Mia says immediately.

'OK, you can arrange the timings with him.' Matt continues to shout as he sorts out the drinks.

'You haven't changed little bro.' Mia says.

'Did you expect me to?' Matt asks as he approaches the table. He hands me a beer, Grace the wine, juice for Hannah and milk for himself.

'Actually you are drinking milk from a glass instead of the carton.' Mia says and grins.

'That would be disgusting Mia, imagine if someone else wanted a drink of the milk.' Matt mutters with a smirk.

'You used to do it all the time.' Mia says.

'Shall I click you off now?' Matt asks.

'No please no. I won't say anything else to get you in trouble with mom.' Mia says.

'Keep talking Mia, it was just getting interesting.' Grace says and laughs. Hannah giggles as well.

'I didn't do it all the time.' Matt mutters.

'Only when you thought no-one was watching everyday when you got home from school.' Mia says.

'Matthew.' Grace scolds but she's smiling at him.

'Sorry mom. I love you.' Matt says as he stands behind her and gives her a hug before kissing her cheek.

'I love you too darling boy.' Grace adds openly.

'He always knows how to get round you mom so that he doesn't get in trouble.' Mia says. Matt sticks his tongue out at the screen and Mia laughs. 'So mature. Shall I tell mom what you used to do with the ice cream carton?'

'No Mia. I think that's enough for tonight. Isn't it time you went to bed?' Matt says.

'You can tell me on Thursday.' Hannah pipes up.

'Deal.' Mia teases and Matt groans. 'Night all.'

'Night Mia.' We all say together and Hannah clicks off the screen before closing the laptop.

'Is there something you want to tell me Matthew?' Grace asks.

'No mom. It's probably best you don't know.' Matt says as he pulls his t-shirt back on. 'I need to go and do some schoolwork. I'll be in my study for an hour.'

'Matt I'm sorry.' Grace says.

'It's OK mom. I need to study.' Matt says and walks out of the kitchen.

'Was I fussing?' Grace asks. I kiss the top of her head as I stand behind her.

'No Grace, I think he just needs a break from us for an hour.' Hannah says kindly.

'I spoke to Christian, he's going to wait for Matt to make contact and then do everything he can to make things right between them.' I say.

'What if Matt doesn't call him?' Hannah asks.

'He will. Matt was always the one who didn't like any conflicts or arguments between anyone.' Grace says. 'He's had a good day today and the Christian issue will be playing on his mind especially after Mia's teasing.'

'True. It wouldn't surprise me if the studying was an excuse and he'll be thinking about making the call.' I say.

'Should we warn Christian?' Hannah asks. 'Matt would be devastated if he called and Christian didn't answer.'

'Then Christian will call him back.' I say.

'But Matt won't be ready and might not answer.' Hannah says worriedly.

'Let's just leave the boys to sort out their differences. It's probably best that we don't get involved.' Grace says.

MATT

I don't really know what I'm doing here sat in my study. The schoolwork can wait but I just needed some space. Today has been great but things were just getting to be too much, the ache for the family to be back together how it was. All sat around the dinner table, laughing, joking, teasing, that's what I miss. I pick up the phone and put it back down again, I know I have to make the call to get things back to how they were. They all reassure me that Christian won't kill me and I have to trust them but it's hard. I pick up the phone one more and dial the only cell number that I remember off the top of my head. It goes to voicemail and I breathe a sigh of relief.

'Christian. It's Matt.' Is all I say.

'Matt.' Christian says, surprising me.

'Y Y Yes.' I stutter.

'Are you OK?' he asks.

'I I th think so.' I stutter again. Shit I'm a wreck. I didn't want to be like this, especially with him.

'Breathe Matt.' Christian says, totally in control like he always is. I take a deep breath. 'Better.'

'Yes.' I say.

'Why didn't you tell me about that it was insulin and about Hannah and the baby?' he asks gently.

'You were so angry. I'd not seen you like that before. I was so scared. Do you remember that at one point you had me pinned against the wall by my throat?' I ask.

'No. I'm sorry. Sorry for everything. Losing my temper that day. Not inviting you to Aspen or Portland. Not being there at the start to support you and Hannah with the pregnancy. I'm so sorry.' Christian says. I gulp. I don't know what to say, my chest hurts. 'Matt, please say something.'

'It….you…..mom…' I start to say.

'You're hurting.' He says.

'No-one was there. I had no-one.' I say quietly and then add more loudly and angrily. 'No one fucking wanted me. All my life the doubt was there and then I made one mistake and you all fucking left me to deal with it. Mom didn't invite me to lunch when you got back from your honeymoon, you didn't invite me away for those weekends and there were probably other things I didn't know about. I just felt so excluded from my own fucking family. Hannah lost a baby and things got tough with her mom and she told me to go. So yes I was fucking hurting and it won't fucking go away.'

'Matt…' Christian starts.

'Don't even fucking start to try and make it OK. I don't even know who I can fucking trust anymore. They tell me that they love me but how can I be fucking sure.' I shout before calming down and adding 'I was just starting to be happy and now I don't know what to feel.'

'I need to see you. I need to be there to help you.' Christian says.

'No. I need to figure this out on my own. I'll only see you when I'm ready.' I say.

'Please, let me help you.' Christian says.

I'll think about it.' I say. 'I've got to go I've got some decorating to do.'

'At this time of night.' He says.

'It calms me down. Puts things into perspective.' I mutter. 'I'll call again sometime.'

'OK. Take care.' Christian says. I don't reply but just click him off. I put the phone down and as I look up I see dad stood by the door.

Did you hear that conversation?' I ask.

'We all did from the point about you making one mistake.' Dad says.

'Hannah.' I whisper.

'Is upset. Mom has taken her upstairs.' Dad says. I groan and put my head in my hands. Dad comes into the study and sits opposite me. 'Matt you were only saying what you were thinking.'

'And now I've made a mess of everything. I've been trying so hard all day to make everything right. I'm so scared dad, scared to love anyone in case I get hurt again.' I say.

'Start off slowly, you have to learn to trust again.' Dad says gently and I look up. He smiles at me. 'Don't rush into anything you're not ready for yet. I'm so proud of everything you have achieved all your life but especially the last three months. I love you so much and I trust you to get things right in your own time.'

'I know.' I say and dad looks at me in surprise. 'You let me drive your car.'