October 22nd 2016

Holly's anticipation had been building all week to the point where she now felt physically sick. It was Saturday morning and she found herself waiting at the cafe she had found at Gail's noted address, 30 minutes early for their meeting. Her morning hadn't gone well to say the least, the combination of nervousness and apprehension throwing her usual relaxed morning routine completely out of order. She had managed to spill orange juice all down herself, stubbed her toe on her dresser and temporarily lost her glasses only to find that they were perched on top of her head. Eventually Holly decided that she just needed to get out of her apartment to prevent further disaster which is why she found herself sat on uncomfortable steel chair outside the cafe, sipping on a lukewarm latté awaiting the arrival of her former girlfriend and dreading the initial introductions. What would the two say to each other, awkward greetings didn't quite cut it.

It was an odd place for Gail to pick, the rundown cafe was devoid of any warmth, its rusting roof and chipped walls pointing out the need for an urgent renovation. The coffee was one of the worst Holly had tasted in quite some time which is why she saw it as no surprise that she was the sole occupant of the place. Perhaps maybe Gail was punishing her, perhaps she wasn't going to show at all and had stood Holly up in the worst coffee shop Toronto had to offer. It would have been no less than she deserved.

Holly observed a bus pull up on the opposite side of the road. After taking an unordinary amount of time to let passengers off it moved away to reveal Gail perched on the footpath sorting out her change and putting her purse back in her backpack that was slung loosely over the back of her chair. She had yet to get used to the image of Gail in her wheelchair, her heart dropped every time she saw the metal monstrosity the other woman was confined to. The blonde had started to make her way across the now deserted street as of yet failing to notice Holly observing her from afar. She noticed Gail moved fluidly in the chair, manoeuvring up the curb with ease. Holly wasn't surprised of course, Gail generally liked to perfect things, her mother had never allowed her to be a failure at anything. She imagined the blonde had pushed herself to become good at manoeuvring the chair, she imagined she had taken quite a few tumbles out of it before she actually had.

"Why are you sitting at what is possibly the worst coffee shop in the world"

"huh?" lost in her thoughts she hadn't noticed Gail was fast approaching

"This place is awful Holly you'll be lucky if you don't get some kind of food poisoning from that latté"

"Then why did you tell me to meet here then?"

"I didn't, we are going over there" Gail exclaimed as she pointed to the building next door.

"Oh sorry must have got the address wrong"

"Yep" the younger women breathed popping the p as she moved to make her way to the building next door. Holly stood to follow her, falling half a step behind Gail. The two fell in to an uncomfortable silence, as it turned out Holly needn't have worried about the introductions, it was what came after that would be hard. She suspected Gail too had been worried about their first interactions, her bashful approach to Holly now forgotten as she awkwardly wheeled along the footpath at a loss for what to say.

"Uh that's us" Gail said gesturing to a doorway no more than 10 meters ahead

"Okay, you want me to get the door for you?" Holly had said it to be polite however as the words came out of her mouth she realised how they could have made Gail sound incapable of doing it herself. She tensed waiting for a reaction but it never came.

"No need, it's an electric slider"

"Oh" and it was only then that Holly noticed the sign hanging from the awning, a sign that read Toronto physiotherapy clinic.

She stopped in her tracks upon reading, the realisation of what the two were going to be doing on this meeting hitting her like a ton of bricks. Gail apparently hadn't noticed that she was now without her date for lack of a better word, she forged ahead only sensing Holly's absence when she was at the door.

"You coming?" Gail threw the question at her and Holly didn't quite know how to answer. On one hand her curiosity about Gail's injuries would be answered and she was actually heartened by the fact that Gail would bring her here, to an experience that was surely very personal to her. On the other hand she was afraid to find out the full extent of Gail's injuries, she suspected they were bad and seeing Gail in any sort of pain may break her.

"Gail what are we doing here?"

"I've got physiotherapy"

"Yes I realise that, perhaps I should rephrase, why am I here?" The blonde took a moment to consider, her blue eyes holding Holly's brown ones in a tense stare.

"Look Holly, like I said I need closure, we need closure, but we can't have that until everything is out in the open between us. Obviously you know that something pretty bad happened to me and I've got some pretty bad injuries and since I don't like talking about it I thought I would show you. Honestly I need to show you this as much as you need to see it" she was right of course, Gail's injuries were the proverbial elephant in the room, and they would never be able to achieve any sort of closure without that part of her being talked about. Of course closure also meant that the reasons for Holly's departure would have to be discussed as well, though for now that could wait. Resigned to the fact that this would have to happen Holly made her way towards Gail, entering the building again half a step behind her blonde companion.


Holly found herself perched on a makeshift stand at the end of the swimming pool, Gail had been taken off by her physiotherapist to get ready telling Holly to wait for her in the pool as she went. The smell of chlorine infiltrated her senses as she sat staring at the door to the left of her, waiting for Gail and her doctor. She was certain that she would not be involved in the session, instead left to silently observe. It was perhaps worse, at least if she had something to do she could keep her mind active on the task at hand. Instead she would have nothing to do but take in Gail, scrutinise her injuries and worry incessantly without being actually able to voice anything.

The door clattered as Gail was wheeled in by her physiotherapist, a youngish man who's bulging muscles indicated to Holly that her was completely capable of handling the blonde in her current injured state. Gail of course was aware of Holly's presence and yet she hadn't so much as glanced at her since they had entered the rehabilitation centre. It must have been difficult of course, the other women knew that she had to share this with Holly and yet knowing it and actually doing it were two completely different things. For her part Holly had kept silent, understanding of the inner turmoil that Gail must be going through.

"ok Gail if you want to take the towel off and I will wheel you down the ramp ok?" the physiotherapists voice echoed around the pool

"Trying to get my clothes off again Daniel?" Gail was trying to make light of the situation however Holly could clearly sense her hesitancy at removing the oversize towel that cocooning her. It was clear to see why once the towel was gone, Holly barely hid her gasp as she took in the scars and bruising that littered Gail's body. The scars themselves were still red and angry, only half healed for the most part just like the one that ran down Gail's face. The bruises were certainly fading, their yellowish colour only alluding to the black and blue that they must have previously been. The contrast of the injuries to Gail's white skin was startling and only served to enhance their garish appearance. A large plastic bandage was plastered to her stomach over the gash that she had ripped open just a couple of weeks ago.

Holly was used to seeing awful sights of course, her job had brought her to some absolutely horrific ones, and for the most part she had gotten good at becoming completely unaffected by them. She had the ability to switch on the analytical side of the brain and see things as clues, aspects that would allow her to complete a job she was tasked to do. When it was someone you love though things were completely different. Each injury served as a fresh blow to Holly's heart, a new reason to worry about her former girlfriend, a new reason to be completely terrified about the great unknown, what had happened and what would happen to Gail.

She watched hawk like as Gail was wheeled around to the opposite side of the pool and down the ramp, she watched as Daniel slowly eased her up out of the chair, she watched as he slowly let go only for Gail to collapse in a heap into the water, a sharp cry of pain reverberating around the pool as she went. Holly could watch no longer. With tears streaming down her face and a million thoughts crowding her brain, she silently removed herself from the pool area, her departure going unnoticed by a struggling Gail and her clearly flustered physio. She made her way back through the reception and out of the building coming to a stop at the cafe where this hellish rendezvous had started. Fleetingly she thought about leaving altogether, deserting Gail and fleeing back to her apartment to mull things over, analyse every bruise and scar and try to make a list of possibilities. Deciding that that would be an unspeakably cruelty however, much worse than what she had put the other woman through in the years prior, she decided to stay. Slumped in the uncomfortable metal chair she would await Gail's wrath.


"So that may have been a terrible idea" the blonde stated upon her approach to the run down cafe and Holly. She had watched Gail make her way out of the rehabilitation centre the discomfort evident on her face even from a distance. Gail had peered around, no doubt wondering if Holly had fled the scene of the crime, before her eyes had settled on Holly at the cafe. As she slowly made her way over Holly tensed awaiting an onslaught, an outpouring of emotional baggage. She had once again let Gail down and she was ready to pay for it this time. It was safe to say that she wasn't expecting Gail to shoot down her own idea in a classic jokey self deprecating manner.

"Sorry I didn't know that I would be going in the pool today, Daniel kind of sprung it on me, up until this point we have only really been testing my limb movability"

"I'm sorry I left"

"I understand"

"No Gail you needed me to see that, I understand, and you were right I did need to see it, do need to see it, the only problem was I wasn't ready to"

"Yer well like I said it was a terrible idea, it's too soon I know"

"No it's not even that really, I was just shocked is all, your injuries are...are" awful, terrifying, make me sick to my stomach "quite extensive"

Gail silently nodded before looking up to meet Holly's eye "Hey I've got an idea, and feel free to say no, but will you come with me to these things every Saturday? I've got more appointments of course, I come quite a lot during the week but I'm always alone, it might be nice to have a bit of emotional support"

"Uh, Gail I'm not so sure if that's a good idea" the conversation with Tracy she had had a week prior replayed in her mind "besides I don't think it would achieve anything"

"but it would, we could go some place after, talk about things that need talking about, seek closure slowly rather than piling everything on all at once, might mean we get to keep our emotional health intact" Gail chuckled

Holly's mind was screaming at her to say no, the rational side of her knew that this would be a bad idea. Accompanying your former girlfriend, whose heart you had broken when you unceremoniously left her without a word, to physio every week was sure to result in a pretty fucked up relationship. They would get no closure out of this. Holly's heart however wasn't so rational. They couldn't be friends, they were well past the point of that, they couldn't be lovers, neither of them was ready for that again at this current point in time, if ever, this was the only way she was going to have any sort of relationship with Gail. It was this thought that compelled her to side with Gail.

"ok fine" she relented

"Great" It was the first time she had seen a full on smile from Gail since she had been back "can you do me a favour though, don't tell anyone we are meeting the others worry about me is all"

"Don't worry I wasn't planning on it" the thought that Tracy was the owner of a gun was enough to keep her mouth shut.

"Ok well I will see you next Saturday, same time, same place, gotta go the bus is due in any minute now" Gail will rushed out turning to leave without giving Holly a chance to offer a wave or any form of goodbye.

As she watched the other women retreat, making her way on to the now arriving bus, Holly couldn't help but wonder what the hell she had gotten herself into. This little arrangement of theirs was going to cause a shit storm, she just knew it.