Chapter Eleven!

"Coulson, what is the status of the grammar club?" Nick Fury inquired one brisk Monday morning, walking into the vice principal's office, slamming the door shut behind him, and plopping down in one of the comfortable seats parallel to Phil Coulson's desk.

Coulson smiled as though he had been waiting for this particular conversation all morning. "They are fully operational, sir. At this rate, they might actually graduate on time. Barton's trial is this afternoon, Rogers has turned in a flawless extra credit project for Calculus, and Thor's professors have been talking about how quickly he's improving."

"Hm," Fury murmured, stroking his chin thoughtfully, "what about Banner and Loki? Any progress there?"

"Not yet. According to Maria Hill, they have been spending a large amount of time in the library together." Coulson answered promptly.

"What does Hill know about the Avengers initiative?" Fury demanded, glancing around the room as though he expected someone to be spying.

"Absolutely nothing, sir," Coulson replied hastily, "she was discussing their behavior with Sarah Seacrest early yesterday afternoon. Neither of the girls suspect a thing."

"Good," Fury approved, nodding his head, "let's keep it that way."

"Yes, sir." Coulson readily agreed.

Fury remained in the chair for a moment, just silently stroking his chin. Coulson looked about the room, uncomfortable with the uneasy silence. He had paperwork to do, but did not want to shoo the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. out of his office.

"Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?" He asked awkwardly.

Fury blinked, looking mildly surprised that Coulson had spoken. His facial features quickly adjusted into the blank stare that he generally wore.

"Yeah," He began slowly, his eyebrows furrowing just slightly, "how is Mr. Barnes progressing?"


The grammar club was going well. That was what the student body - and the majority of professors - heard, anyway. The members had already risen to prominence by resubmitting a number of manuscripts to publishers, flawlessly correcting a series of complex grammatical errors. They would all surely get into the best colleges in the world once they finally managed to pass high school.

Of course, the titles and awards that the school was so proud of were entirely fake. Tony had called in a few favors with one of the publishers that his father had donated so heavily to, Pepper had procured a number of official-looking plaques and certificates, and Darcy had bragged loudly enough for everyone to become grossly aware of their 'success'.

The grammar club was fully operational, no one could deny that.

"Can you get me out of these absences or not?" Tony Stark whined, leaning back in his chair as Pepper scoured the student handbook while sitting across from him.

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course I can, but I'm trying to see if there's a way to do it without breaking a hundred rules first. I already have one scandal on my hands; I really don't need another."

"I don't see why there's an attendance policy, anyway," Tony sulked, folding his arms across his chest and looking around the room stubbornly, "Most of the time I don't even learn anything in class. Meanwhile, Thor's never missed a class and he's failing almost everything."

Pepper swatted her boyfriend's arm as the Norse god in question turned around after hearing his name.

"He's a foreign exchange student," She whispered, not wanting to offend Thor by talking about him too loudly, "he's in an entirely new culture with entirely new systems. It's amazing that he's done as well as he has, if you ask me. How do you think you would do on an Asgardian test?"

"I would get the highest score possible." Tony asserted.

"They would think that you were an idiot," Pepper retorted, rolling her eyes and refocusing on the student handbook, "ah, okay, here it is. Well, it's not against the rules for the student body president to enter the administrative office even after the administrators have gone home. Oh, and I can modify files as needed. So I guess it isn't technically breaking any rules to go into the office and change your numbers to something a little more reasonable."

"Alright, what are we waiting for?" Tony asked, a grin sliding across his face as he leapt out of his chair, eager to delete his absence count; the one small number that was keeping him from walking across the stage with everybody else.

Pepper rolled her eyes again. "We're waiting for seven o'clock. If we go to the office right now, Coulson will be there. I don't know if he would agree that your attendance records need to be modified, do you?"

Tony let out an annoyed huff. "So, seven, then?"

Pepper nodded. "We'll go right after dinner. Now why don't you make up some sort of study guide for Steve? I think he's almost done looking over Natasha's speech."


"Your honor, I object!" Darcy hollered for what must have been - at the very least - the hundredth time.

The occupants of the court room groaned in unison.

"On what grounds do you object now, Ms. Lewis?" The judge asked, his voice dripping with exasperation.

Darcy shrugged, grinning from ear to ear. She was clearly enjoying playing the part of Clint's lawyer very much. Clint couldn't help but grin along with his ridiculous legal counsel. The entire case was beginning to seem like one huge joke.

"He was leading the witness." She answered, biting her lip and hoping that she had selected the correct reason for objecting this time.

The prosecution attorney let out an annoyed huff and gestured towards his witness angrily. "Your honor, I was confirming his name and address for the court!"

"And it is a fake alias!" Darcy proclaimed triumphantly.

"I've lived there for twenty years!" The old man asserted, his brows furrowing as he turned to look at the judge for some sort of reinforcement.

Darcy's hands settled on her waist. "How do I know that you aren't lying, Mr. John Parson? For all I know, you might be Canadian."

"He took an oath; we assume that witnesses are telling the truth until the facts show otherwise. Your honor, are you sure that this woman is licensed to practice law?" The prosecution attorney demanded angrily.

Darcy flashed the license that Clint and Loki had procured for her just a few weeks ago. "How dare you! I am a degree-holding, suit-wearing, brunch-eating bona-fide lawyer, just like you. Is this because I'm a woman? Your honor, I will not stand for sexism in this courthouse!"

"I wasn't being sexist, I just - " The prosecution attorney tried to argue in vain.

"I move to impeach the prosecutor." Darcy interrupted, pointing at the prosecution attorney in mock anger.

"Ms. Lewis - " the judge tried to protest, hoping to gain some order in his court.

"Your honor!" Darcy replied, focusing on the exhausted judge.

The judge sighed and hung his head. "Why don't we send the jury to vote on the matter? Jury, your decision must be made unanimously. Mr. Bayner, if you would have a seat."

The prosecution attorney - Mr. Charles Bayner, the best lawyer in New York City - looked thoroughly outraged. Darcy smirked as he stepped forward to object.

"I haven't even gotten to question my second witness." Bayner reminded the judge.

Darcy frowned. "I thought I just impeached him for being Canadian."

The judge let out a sigh and waved the jury in the direction of the back room where they would make their decision. Darcy smiled triumphantly and returned to Clint's side.

"I can't believe that worked. Holy shit. You just annoyed them into giving up on the case." Clint remarked, staring at Darcy through wide eyes.

Darcy laughed and nodded her head. "I know! And I got to impeach a Canadian. What a productive day."

"If you get me out of this, I'll marry you." Clint chuckled, shaking his head.

"Well," Darcy responded, biting her lip and glancing across the court room as though she was really considering his offer, "I don't really want to marry you. Natasha would kill me, Loki would probably realize that he is desperately in love with me and get totally jealous and kill you, and even if I did marry you, it wouldn't last. I would laugh every time you took your shirt off. Why don't you just wipe all records of the detention I've missed and we'll call it even?"

"Deal." Clint grinned, outstretching his hand and shaking Darcy's hand.

The jury entered the room moments later, each of them fixing a dark stare on Darcy. She smiled back at them sweetly, knowing that they would much rather deliver a 'not guilty' sentence on a trivial trespassing lawsuit than risk having to sit through yet another case if Darcy opted to appeal their decision. Sure enough, within moments, after a long and rambled speech, the words 'not guilty' emerged from the speaker's mouth.

"Hell yeah!" Clint and Darcy crowed immediately.

Before the judge could call for order in the court, Darcy launched herself into the air, managing to land on Clint's back with her arms around his neck and her legs around his chest. Clint didn't seem to mind; he shifted his arms to support her legs and immediately sprinted out of the court room with his attorney in tow. Neither of them were particularly concerned with how unprofessional it was for a lawyer to receive a piggyback from a client. After all, Darcy was not a lawyer and Clint was no longer on trial. They were just two kids that much closer to graduating high school.

"Jesus, that was great. Do you think I could get into law school? I think I want to be a lawyer now." Clint speculated after setting Darcy down. The pair began walking in the direction of the bus stop, beaming and bumping into each other good-naturedly as they walked.

Darcy chewed her lip thoughtfully. "No, I don't think you have it in you. Law schools would probably tell you to leave the second you showed up for an interview."

"Damn," Clint sighed, shaking his head, "Alright, what about if I hooked up with the dean of Harvard's law school? Think they'd accept me, then?"

"Why would thirty seconds of disappointment change their minds?" Darcy inquired, arching an eyebrow and forcing herself to look confused.

"Oh, fuck you." Clint responded, trying to glare at Darcy.

"You might have to get in line." Darcy winked.

"Hm," Clint murmured, starting to smile, "Yeah, you're talking to Loki, aren't you?"

"Not actively, but yes, we do speak to each other. Good of you to notice." Darcy answered.

Clint rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I don't mean talking, I mean talking. Have you guys...you know...?"

"Oh, god, ew. No. Absolutely not," Darcy's nose wrinkled at the thought. She shook her head vigorously. "Loki is literally the last person on this planet that I would consider talking to."

"You sure?" Clint asked with a playful grin.

Darcy shook her head again for good measure, then looked at Clint thoughtfully. "You know, you seem super concerned about it. How do I know that you're not talking to Loki."

Clint burst out laughing. "Me and Odinson? Seriously? I don't know if I've ever even spoken to the guy."

"I could set you up, if you'd like." Darcy offered with a wide smile.

"I think Nat might kill me. Speaking of Nat, we should probably get back to the school. She told me that she was trapped with Steve, Bucky, and Peggy back at school. She might kill them if we leave her alone too long." Clint commented as the bus arrived at the stop.

Darcy laughed. "Fine by me. The cafeteria is having make-you-own quesadillas tonight. With any luck, we'll get there before Thor gets in line."


"So in conclusion, toddlers in tiaras is an extremely upsetting concept and the parents should all be put in a human zoo for sixty years as a punishment." Natasha stated, smiling at Steve, Bucky, and Peggy as she finished the lengthy speech that she had written for her communications course.

"Great job, Nat. But, uh, maybe leave the punishment part out." Steve suggested with an encouraging smile.

"And the part where you compared the kids to terrorists." Bucky added.

"What? No! Didn't you listen to my speech? They are like terrorists, they just -"

"Why don't we table that particular argument? We can proofread your paper later. We should really talk about the actual presentation, don't you think? That's the part you've really got to work on." Steve interrupted, stepping in front of Bucky just enough to protect him in case Natasha suddenly decided to attack her least favorite person in the room.

"I thought the presentation was good. She didn't say 'um' once. That's more than you can say, Steve." Peggy objected, nudging her boyfriend slightly.

Natasha looked from Steve to Peggy with an unreadable expression. Steve shifted on his feet uncomfortably. Nat was exceptionally protective of him; even Peggy's good-natured joke could spark some sort of cold response. The blond couldn't decide whether or not he found that particular quality of Natasha's unbearably annoying or overwhelmingly endearing.

To his surprise, no defensive retort emerged from the redhead's mouth. Instead, her eyes lit up. Her mouth curved into an amused smirk. Bucky and Steve both looked at each other nervously.

"He does stutter a lot, doesn't he?" Natasha remarked, smiling at Peggy with nothing but amusement.

Steve's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He certainly hadn't expected that. The girls had spent some time together, sure, but not enough for Natasha to be completely at ease around Peggy. They almost never talked about him. They stuck to more simple subjects, like the weather and the food that they ordered for lunch.

"Yes! When we first met, I thought I was going to throw up from nerves, but then he spoke and he was just a disaster! I have no idea how he has gotten his reputation of being such a ladies man." Peggy laughed, glancing at Steve before meeting Natasha's gaze.

"I know, right? You should have heard him sophomore year when he had a little crush on me -"

"Wait, you knew?" Steve demanded, feeling his face redden.

Natasha smiled at the blond indulgently while Peggy shook her head and laughed. Steve's eyebrows furrowed. He wasn't sure he liked the two girls getting along after all.

"Of course I knew; everyone knew. You aren't exactly the most subtle person on this planet, you know. Aw, don't give me that look, it was cute. I was very flattered." Natasha laughed, ruffling Steve's hair slightly.

"Did he ever try to hide behind people when you saw him? I think I saw him hiding behind Bucky four or five times before our first date." Peggy asked, stepping away from Steve in order to sit down next to Natasha, clearly more interested in the conversation at hand than the indignant look on Steve's face.

"I was not hiding," He tried to object.

"You were hiding." Bucky asserted, clapping Steve on the back with a chuckle.

"Who's hiding? Did Bucky try to hit on Nat again?" Clint Barton inquired, stepping into the room and looking around cautiously.

"No one is hiding. No one has ever been hiding. Look Nat, Clint is here." Steve said hastily, gesturing to Clint as though Natasha could have possibly missed her boyfriend's entrance.

Clint looked at Steve as though he had completely lost his mind. "Uh, yeah, it's dinner time. I'm always here for dinner. Uh, Tasha, want to go eat? I can tell you about my court case and you can explain why Rogers is acting like he just murdered somebody."

"That is a good idea. C'mon Peggy, I'll walk you to the bus stop." Steve remarked, sparing his own girlfriend a relieved smile.

"Wait, Peggy isn't staying for dinner? I had so many stories to tell her. Why can't Bucky go home instead?" Natasha complained immediately.

"My dad made dinner and he really wants me to try it," Peggy explained grimly. Suddenly, a smile crossed her face, "Hey! You should come over for dinner! My parents always love when I have friends over, especially if they go to S.H.I.E.L.D. They'd be thrilled to meet you."

"Are you sure?" Natasha had never been invited to a friend's house for dinner before. She hadn't even known that Peggy considered her a friend. She looked to Steve for some sort of guidance.

Steve recognized the look and sighed. He didn't like the idea of Natasha and Peggy sitting at a dinner table discussing all of his awkward romantic endeavors, but he wanted both of the girls to be happy. Peggy had been having difficulty retaining her friends after she had skipped her school's homecoming, and Natasha had always had trouble making female friends. Spending an evening telling stories and laughing without worrying about ulterior motives or vicious gossip would be a nice change of pace for the girls. He nodded slightly.

"You should go. Peggy's parents are really nice. Besides, I heard that the cafeteria is serving leftover meatloaf again. You won't be missing anything special." The blond lied, forcing himself to smile as Natasha looked Peggy over curiously. He conveniently left out the fact that it was make-your-own-quesadilla night.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt…" Natasha said hesitantly, "Do you have any stories about Steve's dancing? I've heard that it looks like a bald eagle doing some kind of mating ritual, but I've never been able to get him to dance around me."

Peggy laughed as they both exited the room. "You have no idea! One time, I insisted that he take me out dancing, and he requested this ridiculous song…"

Steve was relieved that the girls progressed out of earshot before the story could be completed. He turned to look at Bucky and Clint, both of whom were smirking at him. Steve rolled his eyes and punched Clint in the shoulder harder than was perhaps necessary.

"Shut up; you know Nat is going to talk about you, too." He mumbled, starting off in the direction of the cafeteria and hoping that the sight of food would cause his friends to forget the embarrassing exchange that they had just experienced.


"Where's Tasha?" Pepper asked as Steve, his friend Bucky, and Clint plopped down at the dinner table.

Clint shrugged. "Steve's girlfriend stole her for the night."

"Oh, Peggy was here? You should have told me! I've been wanting to ask her what she's wearing to prom." Pepper whined, looking around the table to see if any of her friends shared her disappointment. She had heard so much about the elusive Peggy Carter, but had never managed to talk to her for more than five minutes at a time. She was curiously to get to know the girl that had managed to take Steve's mind off of Natasha Romanoff.

"Look how many quesadillas Thor is trying to make." Tony pointed out, nodding towards where Thor was holding up the entire line in the hopes of changing the subject. He was not particularly eager for Pepper to figure out that he had dated Peggy some months ago.

Steve rolled his eyes, his mouth twitching into an amused smirk. Bucky glanced at him, clearly willing to defend Peggy's honor alongside of his best friend if Steve should choose to attack Tony Stark for what would be at least the tenth time in the past week. Steve shook his head and chuckled, opting to let the subject go. For now.

"He's a big guy; it takes a lot of food to keep him going." The blond remarked.

"Looks like Darcy got stuck behind him again. She's not going to be happy when she gets here." Clint mused, his mouth quirking into a smile.

"She could have some of mine. I'd share my quesadilla with her all day long." Sam commented, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Loki, who had been sitting at the table and suffering in silence, turned to look at Sam through narrowed eyes. The rest of the table noticed and broke out into laughter. Steve punched Sam's shoulder a bit too hard while Pepper nudged Loki's side with her elbow.

"Might want to wait until Loki's out of earshot to say that, buddy. You don't want to get launched out of a window; trust me on that one." Tony said, snickering slightly.

Sam shook his head with a cocky grin. "They're just friends - right, Odinson?"

Loki's glare did not grow any less venomous. "Yes, Darcy Lewis and I have a friendship that involves no romantic elements whatsoever. However, that does not mean that I am unwilling to defend her in her absence."

"That's fine, I'll just, uh, hey Bruce, you're on my side, right?" Sam questioned as the moppy headed boy plopped down at the dinner table.

Bruce looked around the table curiously. It only took him a few seconds to see that Loki appeared to be the 'other side' of whatever argument had arisen in the past five minutes. He shook his head hastily.

"Consider me Switzerland." He mumbled, taking a large bite out of his quesadilla in order to avoid answering any more questions.

Loki cast Sam a smug look.

"How about you, Bucky? You look like you might be able to do some damage. Tell you what; you team up with me, I'll tell you all about the time you almost kissed Steve." Sam speculated, eying Bucky carefully.

"What?" Bucky yelped, looking from Sam to Steve with wide eyes.

Steve sighed and shook his head. "You're a bastard, Sam. I'd been hoping that would be erased from his memory forever. Buck, it wasn't anything like that. It was just a weird night, you'd been drinking, I think you thought I was someone else…"

"Woah, sounds like I'm walking in on some kind of soap opera here. Is Steve dating Bucky now? How'd Peggy take the news? Did she hit you? I bet she hit you." Darcy commented, sliding into the seat next to Loki and grinning at Steve and Bucky, both of whom were blushing profusely.

Thor followed behind the brunette, plopping down on the other side of Loki.

"Ah, Thor, how good of you to tear yourself away from the quesadillas long enough to join us." Loki remarked, nodding towards his brother as Steve and Bucky began to stammer through an explanation to Darcy.

"Quesadilla night is my favorite night." Thor reminded Loki with a sheepish smile.

"So it is," Loki agreed distractedly, his eyes wandering from Thor's loaded tray to Darcy, who was laughing and teasing Bucky and Steve relentlessly.

"Hey, where's Natasha?" Jane asked, peering down the long row of students chattering away at their table. She had been hoping to ask the redhead a computer coding question in an effort to avoid Tony's patronizing comments upon receiving a plea for help.

"Dinner at Peggy's." Bucky replied, his voice muffled by the large amount of food he was currently chewing.

"I missed her again? I feel like you guys are just playing a joke on me at this point." Jane whined, looking around to see if anyone else was as indignant about not seeing Steve's girlfriend as she was.

"Maybe Steve made her up." Darcy suggested, smiling in the blond's direction.

Steve laughed and shook his head. "She's real, I swear. You can ask Clint, Bucky, or Stark. They've all met her for longer than five minutes."

"Tony's met her? When? He hasn't gone to any of the football games." Pepper questioned, turning to look at her boyfriend curiously.

Tony's face reddened. He glowered at Steve, who shrugged and returned his attention to his quesadillas.

"Oh, yeah, she's, uh, she's alright. Not so bad, I mean. I, uh, oh, Clint has a dog." Tony stammered, looking around the table and taking advantage of the first distraction he could think of.

Clint finally looked up from his food. "How do you know about Pizza?"

"Saw you walking him around two or three in the morning." Tony answered with a relieved grin.

"You named your dog Pizza?" Darcy asked, staring at Clint as though he had done something astonishingly unintelligent.

"I'm sorry, what do you think I should have named him? Pepperoni?" Clint demanded, rolling his eyes at the very thought.

"Well, I was thinking that Darcy might be a better name for a beloved creature. I don't know though, that's just the first thing that came to mind." Darcy replied, her mouth curving into a self-satisfied smile.

"Do not name your dog after Darcy." Loki objected, shaking his head at Darcy.

"Oh, shit, I was really thinking about it, though." Clint responded sarcastically, snapping his fingers as though he was really disappointed about not being able to name his dog after the ridiculous girl who had pretended to be his legal counsel just a few hours ago.

"Why shouldn't he name his dog after me? Darcy is a wonderful name." Darcy complained, scowling at Loki.

"I am not entirely certain that it is a name to begin with." Loki countered, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, it's a name. A beautiful name." Sam chimed in, grinning at Darcy.

Darcy rolled her eyes and laughed. "Thanks for the input, Sam. I'm still not going to go to prom with you."

"Damn." Sam muttered, returning his attention to his quesadilla.

"Wait, you've already asked her before?" Tony asked, looking between Sam and Darcy with a smile akin to a child on Christmas morning.

"Tony dated Peggy before Steve." Sam announced as a way of getting back at the billionaire.

"What?" Half of the table gasped, turning to look at either Tony or Steve.

"It was only a date or two. It didn't mean anything. I hardly knew her. You know, I don't even really know her last name. It doesn't count." Tony rambled, his eyes widening as he tried to justify himself to Pepper.

Steve shrugged, smirking to himself. "I don't know Stark. You seemed to know her pretty well when you came over to say 'hi' during homecoming."

Tony's jaw clenched. "You bastard."

"Hey!" Bucky growled, his muscles tensing as he glowered at the billionaire from across the table.

Steve rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Let it go, Buck. Look, guys, it isn't a big deal. Peggy told me all about it. Stark took her out once or twice, got freaked out by her parents and never called her back. End of story."

"Tony! That is so rude!" Pepper hissed, swatting her boyfriend's shoulder.

"Steve and Bucky kissed!" Tony proclaimed loudly, hoping that the change in subject would distract the table once more.

"Oh, this is just a disaster." Jane whispered to Thor, looking around the table with wide eyes.

"We almost kissed and it was only because – no, we've already been over this. Rhodey told me that Tony had a dream about hooking up with Sam once." Steve bit back, his mouth curving into a smirk.

Tony's eyes widened as he looked between Sam and Pepper. "What? No! He's lying. Don't listen to him, he's, ah, well, hey, Barton, you know that Steve had a huge crush on Natasha for years, right?"

Clint took a moment to look around the table in amusement. Everyone appeared to be nervous about what sort of news would be exposed next. Even Darcy was ducked down to hide behind Loki as though that would keep her out of the argument.

With a chuckle, he shook his head. "Everybody knows that Steve had a huge crush on Nat for years. I thought he was going to kill me when I asked her to homecoming. What does that have to do with you dating his girlfriend?"

Tony's eyes narrowed as the subject was brought around to the main topic that he had been trying to avoid.

"I wouldn't even call it dating." He sulked.

"Peggy doesn't either." Steve shrugged, clearly enjoying making fun of Tony at every possible opportunity.

"Hey, Rogers. Why are you even involved in this conversation? Shouldn't you be, oh, I don't know, locking lips with your buddy Bucky?" Tony countered angrily.

Steve offered Tony a view of his middle finger as a response.

"Yeah, you owe me an explanation." Bucky muttered quietly as the conversation slowly shifted back to Tony's almost-relationship with Peggy.

"Alright, fair enough," Steve sighed, sparing one last dark look at Sam before sinking his teeth into a cookie that he had been eying for some ten minutes.

"Where are you two going?" Loki suddenly questioned, drawing attention to Clint and Darcy, who were now standing and collecting their dinner trays.

"Oh, we're going to get some grammar club business taken care of." Darcy replied brightly.

"Want company?" Sam asked teasingly.

"Mm, no, I think you're better where you are. Maybe you can tell Bucky more about his super close friendship with Steve. C'mon, Barton. I've got to go change into my stealth clothes before we can get anything done." Darcy replied, winking at Sam before grabbing Clint's arm and dragging him off in the direction of the dorms.

"Please don't tell me about my super close friendship with Steve." Bucky murmured as Clint and Darcy escaped the dining hall.


"Ow, what the hell – I thought that we were just going to walk into the office and fix my detention attendance numbers. I didn't know that we were going to scale walls and open windows." Darcy complained as she attempted to pull herself up the wall with the assistance of a thin rope and shoes without much traction.

"Where's the fun in that?" Clint replied from halfway up the wall, his mouth curving into a smirk, "Besides, you can't just walk through the door at a school like S.H.I.E.L.D. There are security cameras everywhere. Coulson is going to be suspicious enough when he reviews your numbers before graduation. If he sees us sneaking into his office on video, it's game over."

"Maybe you should just do this on your own. I think I'm just holding you back." Darcy decided, taking a break from trying to struggle up the wall.

Clint laughed as he slid through the window into Coulson's office. He hung over the edge in order to look at Darcy, who was now standing on the ground.

"No, I can't do this without you. I need your personal information and you need to know which dates you did and didn't attend. C'mon; put the line through your belt and hold on tight. I'll pull you up." He said, making sure that Darcy's line was carefully tied to the brick wall.

"You'll pull me up? No way. You'll drop me." Darcy refused, clipping the line to her belt but folding her arms across her chest and staring up at Clint skeptically.

"I'm not going to drop you, Darcy. I know better. I've seen you in the courtroom – you could sue me senseless." Clint replied with a laugh, grabbing the line and beginning to pull.

"Shit!" Darcy yelped, struggling to find her footing on the side of the wall as she was yanked into the air.

It took a few minutes and a lot of upper body strength on Clint's part, but Darcy soon found herself standing in Coulson's office alongside of Clint, who was now rubbing his sore biceps.

"I'm not that heavy." She snapped, smacking Clint's aching arms.

"No, no, of course you're not, I'm just ah, I'm really out of shape. I've gotten used to Nat beating people up for me. Guess I'd better stop going on missions with her or I'll wind up being useless." Clint replied, hunching over the computer before Darcy could think of anything else to be offended about.

"Well, I wouldn't call you useless," Darcy reasoned, tilting her head slightly, "You did sort of lift me up a few stories. Why don't you wear sleeveless shirts? I bet your biceps are ridiculous."

Clint turned to look at Darcy with a quirked eyebrow. "Are you hitting on me?"

"Did you mean to make Coulson's screensaver an accidental selfie?" Darcy countered, nodding to the computer monitor.

Clint turned to look at where he had accidentally turned on the webcam, taken a hideous picture of himself, and set it to the screensaver over the course of the past ten seconds.

"Oh, shit," He murmured, resetting the screensaver to Coulson's picture of some superhero out of the 1940's and deleting the picture of himself, "Good call, Lewis."

"Well, you know, I have always considered myself pretty observant." Darcy remarked with a smug smile.

As Clint made a series of keystrokes and clicks, a series of noises emerged from outside of Coulson's door. A sliver of light appeared from underneath the door. Darcy and Clint both looked at each other with panicked stares.

"I haven't even gotten to the detention records yet." Clint murmured nervously.

"I'm going to get even more detention if Coulson sees me here. Shit, lower me down." Darcy whispered, rushing over to the window.

Before either of them could do anything to help their situation, the door to Coulson's office creaked open. Darcy dove under Coulson's desk, smacking her head as she did so, while Clint managed to climb up on top of Coulson's bookshelf.

The light to Coulson's office flicked on, revealing Pepper Potts and Tony Stark.

"Relax, Potts. Disabling the security cameras was child's play. Really, I don't understand why their security network is so weak. Anyone could hack into their system. Everyone probably does. No wonder somebody stole the money out of the school's bank account." Tony said as he strolled in the office and sank into Coulson's chair.

Pepper glared at her boyfriend.

"Sorry. Too soon?" Tony asked with a slight grin.

"Considering that it's not over yet, yeah, I would say that it's definitely too soon." Pepper replied, rolling her eyes before moving to Tony's side in order to get a better look at the computer.

"Looks like somebody is already logged in." Tony commented, his eyebrows furrowing.

"That would be me." Clint announced from the top of Coulson's bookshelf.

Pepper let out a startled squeak while Tony nearly fell out of Coulson's chair.

"Holy shit, Barton – what the hell are you doing on that bookshelf?" Tony demanded, rubbing his temples in order to recover from the shock of Clint's sudden announcement.

"We thought you were Coulson. Ugh, could you please move your feet?" Darcy responded from under Coulson's desk.

This time, Tony did fall out of his chair. Pepper couldn't help but laugh as Darcy crawled out from under the desk, smirking at Tony as she did so. Clint laughed along as he leapt down from the bookshelf.

"What are you guys doing here?" Tony asked as he worked to recover his composure, glaring at Darcy and Clint as he did so.

"We're doing the same thing as you, from the looks of it. We need to get into Coulson's computer to change a few of Darcy's detention absences." Clint replied, approaching the computer and nudging Tony out of the way.

"Not before I change a few of my absences from class. I can't believe that they're even keeping track of it at this point. I have my own multi-billion dollar company. Who cares if I show up to Selvig's stupid class?" Tony grumbled, trying to shove Clint away from the computer.

Clint moved to push Tony again, but lost his footing and fell on the ground near where Darcy was sitting. He swore and glared up at Tony, who simply smirked back.

"Relax, Barton. It'll take me a few seconds, tops. While we're here – how often do you and Natasha break into the mainframe? I'm not going to sell you out or anything, I'm just curious. You guys do seem to know everything that goes on at this school." Tony commented as he typed a string of commands into the computer.

Clint shook his head with a grin. "As far as you know, we're just very well-informed students."

"Aw, come on. I heard Natasha is really good at hacking computers. She's got to access Fury's files at least once a week just to make sure she's up to date on what really goes on with this school. Do you know about the planned budget cuts to the archery department?" Tony asked, finally looking away from the computer for a second or two.

Clint rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Yes, I know about the budget cuts. All of the professors are talking about it; you're not telling me anything that's news. I think it's pretty shitty that Fury gets to decide what is and isn't useful around here."

"Maybe he's using the money to get himself a glass eye." Tony speculated with a smirk.

"He is not getting himself a glass eye, Tony. Can you please focus on changing your absences? We don't have that much time. The administrators are always wandering around the office to make sure that students aren't doing, well, this." Pepper reminded Tony, swatting his arm and nodding towards the computer.

"Relax. I've already got my absences taken care of. I've got 20 now; fifteen of which were excused. I was sick for a while, didn't want to get anyone else sick. Now I'm working on Darcy's detention records. Your student ID number is 1566397, right?" Tony questioned, glancing at Darcy with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, how did you know that?" Darcy asked, standing up and approaching the computer in order to watch Tony work.

"I know everybody's number. How else am I supposed to access everyone's personal information?" Tony replied as though the answer was totally obvious.

"Wait, you access everyone's personal information?" Darcy clarified, looking mildly concerned.

"Yes I do, Darcy Lewis; daughter of Frank and Natalie Lewis. I never would have guessed that you had braces as a kid. They really did not look good. Maybe if you showed a picture to Sam, he'd leave you alone." Tony responded with a smug grin.

Pepper smacked Tony's arm.

"You don't need to worry about me and Sam," Darcy countered, her mouth curving into a smirk of her own, "we both know that that's never going to happen. I think I'm just going to wait until college to start dating. You're free to act on every sexual dream that you've ever had about Sam."

"It was one time and I'm pretty sure it was only because I was watching a bird documentary before I went to bed that night. Sam reminds me of a bird." Tony growled, his eyes narrowing as he continued to type.

"Are you done yet, Stark? We really should be getting out of here soon. Fury is going to notice that his security system is down any minute." Clint reminded the billionaire, glancing out the door nervously.

"You all need to calm down. Fury never notices when his security system is down. He'll probably just think that somebody put a blanket over his cameras again." Tony snorted, rolling his eyes as he continued to manipulate the necessary data.

"Shit," Clint murmured, flicking the lights off without any previous warning, "Looks like Fury finally noticed. We've got company."

"Tony, we've got to go." Pepper hissed, backing away towards the window.

"Give me thirty seconds, max." Tony whispered back, shaking his head.

"We don't have thirty seconds, Stark." Clint growled, shutting the door as quietly as he could manage.

"Fine. Fifteen." Tony muttered, still typing.

"Okay, I'm not getting another reason to not graduate. Barton, please help me out of this window." Darcy said, backing towards the window and looking at Clint expectantly.

"We don't have time for that either. Everyone find a hiding spot that you like and get there now." Clint instructed, returning to his spot on top of Coulson's bookshelf.

Darcy sighed and crawled under the desk once more, followed by Tony, who had just finished modifying her detention attendance rates. Pepper crouched behind Coulson's massive filing cabinet.

A few short seconds later, the door to Coulson's office creaked open. Two administrators strode into the room, flicking on the lights as they did so.

"See? I told you that there was no one in here. You're losing it, Oscar." The woman administrator remarked as they looked around the room.

"I could have sworn the light was on." The man, Oscar, muttered defensively.

"Fury's got you paranoid," The woman laughed, shaking her head as they exited the room, "we don't get paid nearly enough for this." She shut the door behind them.

The students crawled out from their respective hiding places, stretching out and shaking their heads in disbelief.

"I think they get paid way too much considering the amount of good they do." Tony commented, shaking his head as he brushed off his pants.

"I think that you're entirely too worried about making snarky comments. We had a close call; we need to get out of here before anyone else comes in here. Do either of you have any experience with scaling down walls?" Clint asked, moving towards the window.

"Why can't we just walk out the door?" Tony complained.

"Did you not just see what happens when we open doors and turn on lights? It's too risky. We've got to go out the windows. Stark, you climb down first." Clint responded, handing a thin line to Tony and clipping a link onto his belt loop.

"This is possibly the least safe thing I've ever done at this school. Why am I going first, anyway?" Tony demanded irritably.

"You can catch the girls if they fall. Besides, you've fallen out of a window before. If you do fall, it'll be nothing new for you. Go on; you'll be fine. I'll lower you down nice and slow." Clint sighed, shoving Tony in the direction of the window.

Tony reluctantly obeyed, stepping out of the window and tentatively scaling the wall. Clint pressed his foot against the wall for leverage, his muscles straining as he supported Tony's weight.

"Hey, I'm really doing it!" Tony called as he neared the bottom, clearly thrilled with the idea of a successful spy-like mission.

"Yeah, you're doing great, Tony." Pepper agreed, stifling a laugh as she watched Clint do nearly all of the work.

Clint smiled to himself, but accidentally inhaled much too close to Coulson's dusty bookshelf. He squeezed his eyes shut, but couldn't help himself. The archer let out a loud sneeze, accidentally releasing the line as he did so.

"Ow, fuck! Barton, what the hell?" Tony's irritated voice floated up from the ground.

"Hm?" Clint questioned, leaning over the window in order to better hear what the billionaire was now yelling at him.

"I think he's a little bit annoyed that you dropped him." Darcy translated.

"Ah. Sorry Stark; allergies," Clint called back with a sheepish smile. He then turned to look at Pepper and Darcy, "Alright, who wants to go next?"

Darcy and Pepper looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Neither were particular eager to be lowered down by Clint when he was sneezing and dropping people, but it seemed that they did not have many other options.

"I'll go. I at least have a clip for my belt. Even so, you'd better not drop me. I will sue you for everything you have and some things that you don't have." Darcy said, clipping the line to her belt and stepping out of the window nervously.

Clint smiled and lowered down Darcy with a greater deal of care than he had with Tony. Within a moment or two, Darcy had reached the ground without any type of injury. She had complained about getting a paper cut along the way, but no one could see how that was possible.

That left Clint and Pepper. It was obvious that Pepper was not eager to be lowered down from the way that she was looking out the window, but there was no way that Clint could go before her. He quickly assessed the situation before coming up with a logical plan of action.

"Alright, Potts, why don't you put your arms around me," Clint suggested, stepping close to the window before holding out his arms in Pepper's direction.

"What?" Tony demanded from the ground, scowling up in the direction of the window.

Pepper, Clint, and Darcy rolled their eyes in unison.

"I'm not trying to make a move on your girlfriend, Stark. I'm just trying to get her out of this office without killing anyone. We'll go down together, it'll be fine." Clint responded, allowing Pepper to wrap her arms around his neck before stepping out of the window.

Once the pair reached the ground, Tony immediately moved to stand next to Pepper, wrapping his arm around her shoulders posessively. She rolled her eyes and shrugged the arm off, folding her own arms across her chest.

"Couldn't just let her climb down like everyone else, could you Barton? You know, I could have carried you down too, Pepper." Tony sulked as the four began to shuffle back towards the dorms.

Darcy snorted. "Oh, please. You're studying science, not espionage. You could make a robot to help you climb down the wall, but you couldn't do it with a rope and your biceps. Just give Barton some props. He's good at his major."

"It isn't a very hard major." Tony grumbled to himself.

"Speaking of biceps," Darcy interjected loudly, completely ignoring Tony, "I still want to see yours, Barton. Where are we at with the sleeveless shirt decision?"

"Oh, you probably do have some pretty nice arms. Sleeveless shirts wouldn't break any of the dress code rules." Pepper added in with a warm smile.

Tony stared at Pepper in disbelief. "Is there something that you want to tell me?"

"Relax," Pepper sighed, rolling her eyes, "I was just letting Clint know that he has the option. Maybe Natasha would like it if he showed a little bit of muscle."

"Maybe she would. Maybe we all would. That settles it: Monday morning, I expect to see you in a sleeveless shirt. Don't let me down, Barton." Darcy declared with a triumphant smile.

"We'll see." Clint chuckled, his reddened face hidden by the dark sky.


"Are you girls sure that you wouldn't like any dessert? We have cake, ice cream, and I think we might have cookies in the freezer. I could run out to the store if there's something else that you would like." Mrs. Carter remarked as Peggy and Natasha got up from the dinner table.

"Oh, um, no, thank you, I'm really okay. Thanks, though." Natasha replied, looking at Peggy a bit desperately, unsure of how to handle the situation.

Natasha never knew what to do around parents. She had met Bucky's parents a few times, but there had been no real pressure there. Bucky's dad was usually at work while Bucky's mom just loved everybody.

It wasn't that Peggy's parents were mean, of course. As far as Natasha could tell, they were incredibly nice people. She just didn't know how to talk to them. They didn't know much about S.H.I.E.L.D., which made it difficult to explain what she was studying. They were constantly asking questions about Steve, which would have normally been an easy subject for Natasha, except for the fact that she could not tell his girlfriend's parents embarrassing stories from his past. Natasha had been forced to sit at the table and quietly eat her food, hoping that if she remained still for long enough Peggy's parents would forget that she was there.

"I think we're just going to go hang out in my room. Thanks for dinner, dad." Peggy said, casting her father a grateful smile before guiding Natasha in the direction of her room.

"Wait, I'm coming too!" Nate, Peggy's younger brother, proclaimed, leaping out of his chair and bounding after the girls.

Natasha couldn't be sure, but it seemed that Nate had taken a liking to her for some reason. He was constantly asking her questions about Steve, as well as herself. He had been particularly fascinated when she had discussed her sparring class. She supposed she shouldn't have been surprised by that. Sparring was an exceptionally interesting subject.

"Oh, no you're not," Peggy responded sternly, "You already follow Steve around. You can't follow Natasha around too."

"Mom!" Nate whined, stomping his foot indignantly.

"Nate, let your sister have her own friends. Come here, you can help me take the cake out of the oven." Mrs. Carter declared from the kitchen.

Nate glared at Peggy for a second before stomping towards the kitchen, grumbling to himself all the while.

"I'm sorry about him. He's always looking to make friends with anyone I bring home. Apparently it's much easier than making friends at his school." Peggy explained as the girls walked towards Peggy's bedroom.

Natasha immediately felt very weird walking into her new friend's room. Steve had been here before. Steve had probably kissed Peggy here before. Peggy probably dreamt of Steve here. Steve was considered a boyfriend here. The thought made her shudder reflexively. There was a chance that she had made a mistake in agreeing to have dinner at Peggy's house.

Peggy seemed to notice Natasha's sudden awkwardness and laughed.

"You don't have to worry. I don't have any weird pictures of Steve hanging around here. I don't think he's ever seen my room, actually. My dad is a bit strict about him. He thinks that a handsome football player couldn't possibly have anything but bad intentions." Peggy assured Natasha, waving her hand as if to brush off her father's comments.

Natasha laughed just slightly. "Oh, Steve's intentions are pure gold. He's just an idiot about executing them."

"Isn't he, though? Did you know that he and Bucky had a bet on who could read all of the Harry Potter books first? He hid all of Bucky's books and then lost half of his!" Peggy remarked, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Yeah, that's Steve alright. He's weird though; he'll never admit that he might be doing something bad. He'll always sugarcoat it so that it sounds like he's doing something completely noble and necessary. I don't even understand why he bothers. He does the dumbest stuff." Natasha sighed, rolling her eyes at the thought.

"He jumped off of the top of Mrs. Barnes car while Bucky was driving because Bucky told him not to." Peggy stated, shaking her head.

"How has he not died yet?" Natasha asked, giggling.

Peggy shrugged, also laughing. "I asked Bucky the other day; he doesn't really know either. We think all of that muscle just kind of absorbs all of the pain that he puts himself through."

"Did he ever tell you about the time that he dared Sam to shoot him?" Natasha asked, pulling her phone out of her pocket in the hopes that she had pictures from that particular event.

"This is the boy that I have chosen to love," Peggy sighed, shaking her head as she looked through the pictures.

"Wait, you love him?" Natasha questioned, her eyes widening a bit.

Peggy's face reddened as she nodded. "Well, yeah, I mean, we have been together for months. You don't think it's too soon, do you? He's already said it, so it isn't really one-sided. I mean, not unless he's told you something else. Has he...?"

"No, no, he hasn't told me something else, I just," Natasha paused, unsure of what she was trying to say, "I guess I don't really know much about it. When did you know that you loved him?"

Peggy looked at Natasha thoughtfully for a moment before shrugging with a bashful smile. "Somewhere in between listening to him ramble about how perfect the produce section was and seeing him try to hide behind Bucky."

"How could you possibly know that soon?" Natasha demanded with a small laugh.

"I don't know. It was just sort of a gut feeling. I just saw him and knew," Peggy replied with a smile, "Haven't you ever looked at Clint and just kind of known?"

"I don't know. I don't really have much to compare it to." Natasha admitted, her eyebrows furrowing slightly.

Peggy nodded, knowing better than to push the subject. Natasha did not like talking about her relationship with Clint. The redhead even bristled when Steve asked her too many questioned. Peggy understood; it was her first relationship and she didn't want to let an outside force ruin it. It was kind of nice.

"So, do you know anything about the time that Bucky almost kissed Steve?" Peggy questioned, diverting the topic back to something that Natasha was likely more comfortable with.

Natasha laughed, grabbing her phone out of Peggy's hands in order to find a video that would answer her question.

"Oh yeah, that was a weird night. Wait until you hear what Bucky was saying. Sam and I were pretty sure that we were going to have to leave soon."

The girls wound up talking for hours. They shared stories about all of Steve's stupid endeavors as well as stories about Bucky and Clint. By the time they shared their top 10 stories about each of the guys, it was a little past one in the morning.

"Oh, wow, I had no idea that it was getting this late. Um, I should get going." Natasha muttered, glancing down at her phone in surprise.

"What? No, you can't get back at this time. The buses have stopped working and there's no way you are going to walk five miles in the dark. My dad would have a heart attack if you even suggested the idea in the same house as him." Peggy objected immediately.

Natasha smiled slightly. "I don't mind walking in the dark; I'll be the most dangerous person out there. Um, thanks for dinner. It's been really fun."

"Don't be ridiculous," Peggy argued, "you can just stay here for the night. I know your class schedule; you don't have anything until ten o'clock. I can have you back at S.H.I.E.L.D. by eight. Come on, I'll go get you some pillows and blankets from the laundry room."

Natasha stared after Peggy with wide eyes, unsure of how to proceed. She had never been to a sleepover at a female friend's house before. She didn't even know what Peggy was planning on doing with the pillow and blankets. Was she expecting to have a pillow fight? Did she want to build a fort? Was she just trying to get Natasha something to sleep on?

The redhead shook her head as she followed Peggy. She had a feeling that befriending Steve's girlfriend was going to be even stranger than she had originally thought.


"Hey Dr. Sitwell, do you mind if I steal Darcy for a few minutes? Mr. Coulson wants to see her." Maria remarked the next morning, popping her head into the classroom and interrupting what looked like a pretty serious debate in the ethics class.

Darcy did not seem too distraught by the interruption. "Feel free to steal me every day. Um, Dr. Sitwell, it's been a pleasure. Can you just email me the rest of the notes?"

"No." Dr. Sitwell responded, rolling his eyes.

"Alright, Pepper, can you help a sister out?" Darcy asked, ignoring the fact that she was holding up the entire class.

Pepper laughed. "Yes, Darcy, you can copy my notes tonight."

"Great, thanks. Remember everyone: legal doesn't mean ethical!" Darcy called as she followed Maria out of the classroom.

"That's not entirely true," Sitwell objected as Darcy closed the door behind her.

Darcy was surprised to see that Tony was also joining her and Maria on their walk to Coulson's office. Her eyes immediately widened in horror.

"You don't think that he knows about-"

"No, don't be stupid. He probably just saw the numbers and wants to tell us that he made a mistake." Tony replied immediately, shaking his head.

Maria turned to look at them inquisitively. "What are you guys talking about? What did you do?"

"Nothing." Darcy and Tony answered immediately.

Maria raised her eyebrows with a smile. "Oh, you did do something. You should probably work on not acting suspicious."

Darcy and Tony glared at each other but didn't say a word.

Before they really had time to prepare themselves for any sort of interrogation, they found themselves sitting in front of Coulson, squirming uncomfortably in the sticky leather seats in front of his desks.

"Do you two know why you're here?" Coulson questioned, looking from Tony to Darcy.

"Uh, did you finally find out about Darcy stalking me? You know, I wasn't going to say anything about it, but it has been getting a bit weird. The other night I caught her digging through my laundry." Tony replied, pretending to cast concerned glances in Darcy's direction.

Darcy rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything.

"This is not about that Mr. Stark, although if what you're saying is true, you might think about filing for a restraining order. This is about your attendance and your detention absences." Coulson responded, not even batting an eye at Tony's stupid explanation.

"What about my attendance? Have you finally realized that you made a stupid mistake that nearly ruined my entire future?" Tony inquired, raising an eyebrow in the most patronizing manner her could manage.

Coulson's smile did not falter. "It seems that the numbers are much different than we thought. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"Would I know anything about my attendance? Hm, yeah, I think I'd know a thing or two about it." Tony replied as though it were the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"I'm going to be very straightforward with you two: did you hack into an administrator's computer and change your records?" Coulson demanded, staring straight at Darcy as though he expected her to tell the truth while Tony thought of another sarcastic response.

"What? No, of course not. I can't even figure out how to guess my own password half of the time." Darcy answered, her eyebrows furrowing as she spoke.

"I just don't have time to hack into the school's computers. I'm either in class, which I think you'll see from my attendance records, or I'm running a multi-billion dollar company. Speaking of, how much longer is this meeting going to last?" Tony added with a slight smirk.

"That's it. I just wanted to make sure that nothing illegal had happened before I approved you both for graduation." Coulson said at length.

"Great, so we can leave? I should probably get ready for dinner. I need to get some notes from Pepper." Darcy asked, already standing up out of her chair.

"Of course," Coulson stated with a nod, "Have a nice evening, you two."

Darcy and Tony did not need to be told twice. They both leapt out of their seats and rushed towards the door as Coulson pretended to be busy with paperwork. Once they were away from the cluster of administrator offices, they both smiled widely.

"I can't believe we got away with it that easily!" Darcy whispered excitedly.

"Really? You can't believe that we pulled one over on Coulson? The man doesn't notice anything. We won." Tony chuckled.

"I say we celebrate." Darcy proposed with a wide smile.

Tony looked down at Darcy with a raised eyebrow. "If you're trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me, I'm going to have to give you a rain check. I've got a date with Pepper tonight."

"I was thinking more of a high five." Darcy responded, looking at Tony like he was deranged.

"Ah, yeah, I can do that." Tony allowed, holding his hand up just a bit too high for Darcy.

Darcy scowled at him before jumping up and slapping his hand with hers.

"We are master criminals." She proclaimed as they approached the dining hall.


"Have you met with Mr. Stark and Ms. Lewis?" Fury demanded, walking into Coulson's without any type of greeting.

Coulson looked up from the paperwork and nodded his head vigorously. "They lied and swore they didn't do it. They think that I believed them. They just high-fived in F hall. Everything is on track for everyone to graduate on time."

"They high-fived?" Fury clarified in disbelief.

"Darcy Lewis had to jump to reach Stark's hand." Coulson answered, nodding his head again.

Fury shook his head. "Most intelligent students in the world my ass."