FIVE MINUTES OF a (slavonic) COFFEE CAKE (dance)
by an awesome blossom
Which goes best with coffee: TV or cake?

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is property of Nintendo and co.


"What do you think goes best with coffee?" Zelda asked once as she lounged around with Ilia's head in her lap on lazy Sunday morning. "TV or cake?"

Ilia frowned slightly and reached a hand up to touch the end of Zelda's nose (there was a flat part there that she was particularly enamored with). "Neither of those are very good for you, and as I recall you refer to the telly as rubbish in motion. And every time I can coerce you into eating cake, you complain that it goes right to your thighs! Which are very lovely and will continue to be lovely no matter what you eat, by the way."

Zelda just rolled her eyes and swatted Ilia's hand away. "You're skirting the issue! TV or cake, and yes you HAVE to choose."

"Well," Ilia sighed, "coffee is very stimulating while TV is depressing, and you might think that they'd cancel out, but I really do think you'd wind up sitting on an ant hill with ants in your pants. However, coffee with cake is just added calories, and since we are modern ladies it's best to avoid that issue entirely."

Poking Ilia's stomach, Zelda replied, "You still haven't decided!"

"Cake," she said suddenly as she sat up. "Coffee goes best with cake because then you'll complain about your thighs." Then she leaned in and kissed Zelda fully. "And I shall be there to assuage all your worries and extoll the wonders of your body..."