Esha Napoleon: Thank you! EternalxInsanity: Aw, thank you : ) We really appreciate that you think so. NeroAnne: Yeah, unfortunately, she's one of the only ones and that would change if James or anyone else around her can do something about it.
…
"Looky Coopy, I brought movies with me," Connor said, proudly showing off the dvds he had packed with them as they ate. Cooper really wasn't hungry still but he ate anyway, knowing that if Connor told on him he was going to catch some serious hell from Mindy. Skipping meals in her eyes was a serious offense so it was just best if he ignored the knots in his stomach and ate everything that he could. "We can watch them if you wanna."
Cooper nodded along, not really even looking at what Connor had brought with him. He really wasn't in the mood to watch anything but if it would keep Connor appeased then he would go along with it.
Connor frowned, Cooper's indifference not lost on him for once. "We don't have to watch them if you don't want to Coopy. I want to do what makes you happy."
Cooper chewed his food carefully, kind of taken aback by that answer. Connor was definitely not known for trying to please others unless there was something in it for him. "It's fine Connor. We can watch your movies."
"But will that make you happy?" Connor asked impatiently. "I want you to be happy Coopy so you don't try to kill yourself again."
Damn it. Connor knew. He should have known right off the bat that was why Connor was acting so nice and stuff. There was no way Mindy wouldn't have told him. Connor was going to be her eyes since James was doing everything he could to keep her away from him. "Connor-"
"Why did you try to kill yourself Coopy?" Connor asked, staring at him with wide eyes.
Cooper shrugged. "I hate myself and I want to die."
Connor's eyes got even bigger. "But…but…I love you Coopy. Mommy loves you too. We don't want you to die." He got out of his seat and grabbed one of the donuts before plopping down on Cooper's lap and trying to shove the donut in his mouth. "We want you to be happy. We don't want you to be sad. Please don't be sad because then I'm gonna cry."
"You don't think I haven't tried not being sad?" Cooper asked, pushing the donut away because he didn't feel like eating it at the moment. "Believe me, if I could make myself stop, I would. It's not that easy."
Connor frowned and put his arms around Cooper's neck, hugging him so tightly that it actually kind of hurt. "Please don't try to kill yourself again Coopy. I love you. I do I do."
"I know-"
"You can't go away on me. Don't listen to Daddy and Amber and all the other dummies because they're mean. They're mean and you can't die because you'll let them win and they can't win because they're mean!" Connor was near tears now and he rested his head against Cooper's shoulder while still clinging to Cooper for dear life.
"Connor-"
"You don't have a gun again, do you Coopy?" Connor asked fearfully. "I remember when you got all sad and stuff after Joie died and I caught you with the gun. I gots a big boo boo from that and I didn't like it."
Cooper winced, officially feeling even more like shit than he did before as that memory came back to him. Connor had walked in trying to shoot himself after Joie had died and had tried to get the gun from them. A struggle ensued and the gun had gone off, resulting in a bullet being buried in Connor's shoulder. Cooper had been so horrified and Connor had been so traumatized that both of them sort of just tried to repress the fact that had ever happened (and James went along with it because he just hadn't been able to deal with that shit properly either). "I don't have a gun," he said slowly.
"You're not going to buy one right?"
Cooper shook his head. The thought sounded kind of tempting but he wasn't about to dare say that to Connor.
"You promise?" Connor moved his head back up so he could make eye contact with Cooper. "You wouldn't lie to me would you Coopy? Lying isn't nice you know. That's a mean thing to do."
"I'm not lying," Cooper assured Connor, moving his hands up so he could loosen Connor's grip on him. "I'm not a mean liar. Now will you relax?"
"Will that make you happy?"
Cooper sighed loudly and nodded. "Yes. That would make me very happy."
"Okay Coopy." Connor got off of Cooper's lap and sat back down in his chair. "Coopy can I ask you something?" he asked once he began to eat again.
"Yeah sure, I guess so," Cooper said with a shrug.
"If I stapled Amber's mouth shut, do you think Mommy and Daddy would get mad?"
Cooper's eyes just about popped out of his head. "Connor! Don't even THINK about doing something like that!"
"But she's mean!" Connor whined, folding his arms over his chest and pouting his lips. "I don't like her. She's the worse one out of all the girls."
"The girls aren't bad Connor-"
"Yes they are! They think I'm stupid. Especially Amber. She's the meanest one of all." Connor was not about to be convinced otherwise on this. "She's like all the other mean peoples who maded fun of me when I was in school except I can't smash her face in to shut her up."
Cooper shook his head while leaning over and slapping Connor upside the head. "You're damn right you can't. And if I even suspect that you're even having thoughts like that, I'll kick your ass. You hear me?"
"Why do you even care? She hates you now anyway. She's like Daddy you know."
Cooper didn't say anything to that. What the hell could he say? It wasn't like Connor was wrong about that. Once upon a time he and Amber had been insanely close, but once again, his own obsession and stupidity had ruined that relationship to. She hated him for what he did to Mindy and didn't want anything to do with him.
Connor sighed and tried to force feed Cooper a donut again. "I'm sorry Coopy. I didn't mean to talk about stupid girls. You want to go hunting to make you feel better?"
Cooper took a reluctant bite of the donut and shrugged. "Sure. I guess so." Who knows, maybe that would at least maybe take his mind off things. "We can go after we watch one of your movies."
Connor brightened right up at that. "Really Connor? Can we watch Monsters Inc? I want to watch it cuz I haven't seen it since yesterday and that's a really really long time."
Cooper tried not to cringe at Connor's suggestion. The movie had been okay the first time he had seen it but over the years, Connor had made him sit through it at least a thousand times so he pretty much knew the whole thing by heart. "Yeah sure," he reluctantly agreed. "That's fine. Whatever you want Connor."
…
James was woken up only a couple hours asleep after he and Mindy by someone crawling on his chest. At first he thought he was dreaming but then he felt something wet on his face and he finally opened his eyes to find Elizabeth sitting on him, her face just inches away from his. "Lizzie Bear?"
Elizabeth cooed and continued to slobber all over him. He smiled and carefully sat up so he could wipe his face off and hug his youngest child carefully. "Why are you awake silly? Don't you know night time is for sleeping?"
"Da da da," Elizabeth said, clapping her hands together before putting her head against his chest and closing her eyes. He smiled and stared down at her with a loving gaze, his fingers gently playing with her blonde hair. Words could not accurately describe just how much he adored her. He loved and adored all of his children of course; they all had him by the heartstrings and they all knew it. But Elizabeth was the baby. She was his little baby and that was the way it was always going to be, even once she started getting older.
He began to lay back down when the door opened and Scarlett and Thorn came into the room holding hands. "Bad dream?" he guessed before they could say a word.
They both nodded at the same time. "We don't like bad dreams," Thorn said as she and Scarlett climbed up on to the bed with him and Mindy. "They're scary."
"It's okay, I'll protect you," James promised, grinning as he watched Oxa jump up on the bed and curl up on his ankles.
"Thank you Daddy," Scarlett said, clinging to him while Thorn curled up with the still sound asleep Mindy. "How did the swimming lessons go?"
"I think we made excellent progress," he replied, making the twins giggle loudly.
"That's good Daddy," Thorn said with a nod. "Mommy should have learned to swim ages ago. Once she gets real good she can actually swim with all of us."
"Exactly," James agreed, reaching over and gently touching Mindy's long raven hair.
Scarlett smiled and cuddled up even closer to him. "Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"Why does Connor still like Cooper so much?"
James blinked, a little taken off guard by that question. "Well-"
"Amber told Connor he shouldn't go to Cooper's house no more," Thorn informed him. "And he didn't like that. They don't like each other very much."
James shook his head, not really surprised by that. Amber was way ahead of Connor in maturity despite being so much younger than she was. "Connor…" He took another deep breath in order to buy time to think about how to word this. "When his first mommy died, he got really attached to Cooper. And that's never gone away, even when they don't get along."
"But he has Mommy now," Scarlett pointed out. "And he acts like Cooper didn't do anything wrong when he did."
"I know," James said, not hiding his frustration over that. "But I don't know what to do to make him see things our way. He doesn't understand things the way the rest of us do."
"His brain is broken," Thorn said wisely.
"Now let's not go that far-"
"It is though!" Thorn insisted. "It don't work right like ours do. We're babies and we know that Cooper did a really really bad thing to Mommy."
"Connor sees what he wants to see," James said with a sigh. He would definitely know that because that was a trait Connor had gotten from him. "I'll try to talk to him again when he comes home." He patted them both on the head and pulled the covers up so they were more properly covered up. "Now go to sleep, okay? I'll keep the bad dreams away."
"Okay Daddy," they said at the same time. They both closed their eyes and he watched them until he was sure they were sound asleep before settling back down himself and passed back out.
…
Cooper sucked on the cigarette like his life depended on as he and Connor walked along the quiet streets. Hunting with Connor was always a somewhat difficult task because of Connor's excitable nature. But luckily Connor wasn't being nearly as difficult as usual because he was still on his kick of making Cooper happy so he didn't try to kill himself again. And Cooper would be lying if he said that he wasn't taking advantage of it just a little bit. He wasn't trying to do it in a bad way. It was just nice having Connor not be difficult for once.
"Do you see anyone yet Coopy?" Connor asked as he bounced along. "Do you see 'em? Huh huh? Do you see 'em?"
"You're going to scare them away if you keep talking so loud," Cooper said with a shake of his head.
Connor immediately shut up but he kept bouncing around like he was on a sugar high. Cooper grabbed his hand to keep him from bouncing too far and led him into an alley, where he saw two drunk hobos staggering around in front of them. He put his finger up to his lips and signaled for Connor to stay quiet while they made their move. Connor grinned and took out his knife, following Cooper's lead and tip toeing up to the two men. The men were having some sort of conversation but neither Lawson paid any attention to it. They just continued to creep behind them, waiting until they were right on them before striking. Cooper grabbed the first man and put his hand over his mouth before driving his knife through his back, twisting it and enjoying the fear and the pain he was able to cause. Connor went for a more violent approach, stabbing his guy in the neck and then doing it over and over again, drenching himself in the blood. Cooper pulled his knife out and then slit his victim's throat so he could watch Connor, becoming hypnotized by the sight of his younger brother covered in all that blood.
"Coopy look, he's dying!" Connor proclaimed happily. The guy was actually already dead but Connor hadn't really caught on yet. "Lookie what I did! I-" He squeaked as Cooper suddenly pushed him up against the nearest building and pinned him there so he couldn't move. "Coopy?"
Cooper didn't say anything. He just buried his face in Connor's neck, licking up some of the blood that had gotten on there. He could feel Connor's heart beating and he pressed himself up against his brother even more, needing the contact more than he could really express.
"Coopy?" Connor said again. "Are you okay?"
Cooper stayed quiet for another moment before nodding slowly. "Yeah." He glanced back at the bodies. "Come on. Let's get rid of these and then go home so you can get cleaned up."
"Okay Coopy, whatever you say."
