"...nder... Wander... Wander, darling, please, wake up!"
The orange prince groaned quietly, slowly opening his eyes to see Gaia hovering over him. "G... Gaia?"
The goddess let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness you're alright! I'm sorry that I had to pull you in like this, but I didn't have time to make it more comfortable for you two!"
"... 'Two'?" Wander asked, sitting up and giving her a confused look.
Beside him, someone groaned, and when he looked over Wander saw Peepers rubbing his head as he sat up.
"The hell happened last night...?" The captain mumbled before blinking, his eye widening when he saw the unfamiliar hall around him. "Whoa. Where the hell am I?"
"Captain?" Wander started gingerly, tapping the other alien on the shoulder.
"Gah!" Peepers shrieked as he jumped to his feet. "Why the hell are you here?!" He demanded before looking over at Gaia. "And who the hell is she?!"
Gaia chuckled, walking over to Peepers and kneeling to his height. "Rest easy, good captain, for no harm shall come to you here. I am Gaia, Queen of Earth and Protector of all that inhabit it."
Peepers blinked, looking shocked. "G-Gaia?! B-But... But I- This isn't right! I shouldn't be here, I'm- I sold my soul to Nox!"
"I am aware, dear one, but did you not repent?"
"I... I suppose I did, but Nox said-!"
The goddess smiled, pulling the monocular alien into her arms. "Dear Captain, it is never too late to repent. Though Nox did delay your words, I have still heard them, and I forgive your sins." She pressed a kiss to the top of Peepers' upper eyelid. "You are free, and your soul is forever under my protection. He cannot harm you again."
Suddenly, Peepers' entire form was bathed in a green light, which faded after a few seconds. The captain looked up, his eye watery.
"Is... is really that easy? After all I've done-!"
"What you did you did for the purpose of protecting the ones you love most. You sinned, yes, but you sinned to protect your children from a man whose sins greatly outweigh yours."
"C-Children?! Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I don't have any children!"
Gaia laughed. "Oh, you may not have played a role in their conception, but you are more of a father to them than Polonius ever was. Thatcher and Tuesday are as much your son and daughter as you are a Captain, dear one. And they love you as much as any child could love their father."
The goddess smiled down at him, wiping a tear from his eye. Suddenly, she stumbled back, holding her head in her hands and groaning.
"Gaia!" Wander cried, running to her side. "What's wrong?! Are you okay?!"
"O-Oh, I'm fine, dear... I just haven't had to divide my presence like this in quite a long time..."
"'D... Divide'? What does that mean?"
The goddess grinned at him, though she still looked pained. "My dear, you did not think I wouldn't assist your fiancé in finding you, did you?"
The crowd had erupted into a panic, nobles yelling and shouting, demanding answers as to what was happening, why a skeleton was about to become king, who had kidnapped the orange prince.
Thatcher quietly snuck over to where Nox had tossed his cloak, picking it up and putting it back on, all the while only being able to think about Wander.
Where is he? Is he safe? Gob, he must be scared out of his mind! I have to get him back!
"Hey!"
The king-to-be suddenly found himself turned around, a fist aimed at his jaw and the Zbornak that fist belonged to glaring at him with unadulterated fury in her eyes.
"You have three seconds to explain yourself before I pummel you to a bloody pulp, Skullboy!"
Before Thatcher could get a word in, the Captain was pulled back, his mother gripping the Zbornak's arm tightly.
"I'll thank you not to threaten my son, Captain," the Queen expressed through grit teeth. "I'd hope that you'd remember who employs you."
Sylvia scoffed, shoving the Queen away. "And I'll thank you to remember that I could go back to my old job any time I want! And what the hell kind of game are you playing, lady?! Tricking my best friend into marrying that, how dare you?!"
"I never tricked anyone!"
"No, but you certainly never saw fit to disclose that little detail, now did you?!" Ana interrupted, moving between the Captain and the other Queen.
"What does it matter? Are you so shallow that you'd break the arrangement?!"
"It's not shallow to assume that your son's intended is alive!"
Andromache's hands became immersed in electric energy, Tuesday having to rush forward and hold her mother back so that she wouldn't charge at the smaller queen.
"Mother!"
Corsair quickly drew her sword. "Oh, let her go, Tuesday! I'll gladly fight this liar!"
The entire ballroom had erupted into shouts and arguing, the royals screaming accusations at each other at the top of their lungs, tensions rising and rising until-
"SHUUUUUUT UUUUUUPPP!"
The entire room fell silent, everyone staring in shock at the furious king-to-be.
"Enough! Fighting amongst ourselves won't solve anything!" His hands went alight with green energy. "If you are not a member of either the royal family of Morteria, the royal family of the Star Nomad Empire, or the Royal Guard, then get the hell out of my ballroom right now!"
The nobles hesitated for a moment, murmuring amongst themselves for a moment and not making any move to leave. Thatcher growled in frustration, shooting a bolt of green electric energy at the floor close to the crowd's feet.
"GET OUT!"
There was a shrill scream as the crowd rushed out of the room, panicking and fleeing for fear that the angry prince regent would zap them to crisps.
There was silence for a moment after the nobles were all gone, only the royal families, the Guard Captain, and a few Watchdogs left in the room.
"... So that's why they call him 'Lord Hater'." Westley stated. The Watchdog next to him, a fellow named Oliver, elbowed him sharply, clearing his throat.
"Ow! What, I was just saying!"
If Thatcher had heard him, he gave no indication, as he simply turned to the royal families and the Captain, his expression stern.
"There's no use in fighting. The more time we waste, the farther away that monster can take my intended." He turned to face Ana. "Madam, if you feel we have deceived you, then I apologize. However, I ask that you reserve any decisions on whether or not you'd like to continue our arrangement until after Wander has returned safely."
"Are you saying that you wouldn't go after him if I decided to end the arrangement?" The queen demanded, her words accusatory.
Thatcher turned away, pulling up his hood so that the queen couldn't see the pained expression on his face. "No, I would still go after him." After tonight, though, I doubt that he'll stay.
The queen was quiet for a moment. "Very well," She said finally, "I'll reserve my decision until then."
"Thank you. I also ask that, while my mother and I are gone, you watch over our kingdom."
"You're bringing your mother with you?!" Corsair asked incredulously.
"Of course." Beneath his hood, the king-to-be grinned. "After all, what sort of fool would I be if I didn't take the Rebel Queen with me?"
"... Okay, I'm sure there's an awesome story behind that name, but we don't have time for that!" Sylvia interjected, pushing to the front. "Whatever you're doing, I'm coming too. I'm not gonna let some creep just take Wander away!"
"I didn't expect anything less from you, Captain." Andromache replied, a smug smile on her face at being reminded of her old nickname.
Thatcher nodded, turning towards the Watchdogs. "Ready a ship. We leave in an hour."
"Wait, do you even know where you're going?" Tuesday asked, crossing her arms.
"No, but they couldn't have gotten too far, right?"
"Dude, we're talking about the God of Chaos here. For all we know Wander's in another dimension right now!"
Thatcher rolled his eyes. "Oh, please-!"
"No, I'm afraid she's right, dear."
The king-to-be froze, his eyes going wide at the sound of a familiar voice that he hadn't heard in years. Slowly, he turned around, not quite believing who he was seeing.
"N... Nanny Bellerose?"
The older woman smiled at him. "Hello, dearie. My, how you've grown."
Thatcher turned to his mother, incredulous. "I... I thought that you said she passed five years ago."
"I told you what I was told!"
"Indeed, that is what you were told, although it is not the first time you've been informed of my passing, my dear queen."
Andromache blinked in confusion. "What...?"
With a smile still on her face, the woman closed her eyes, her entire form going white and shifting, the light eventually fading away to reveal a younger, darker-skinned woman.
"M-Mademe Amelie?!" The queen exclaimed, looking shocked.
"Who?"
"S... She was the woman who lived next door to me when I was growing up! Th-There was a fire when I was around seventeen, I was... I was told that she perished in it!" Andromache took a step forward, her eyes squinted as she stared at the woman. "Just... just who are you?"
The woman smiled. "I have watched over your family for many years, darling, ever since the day my stepson came into this world over a thousand years ago." Once again, her form turned white, becoming taller and more willowy. When the light faded, the woman standing in front of them smiled, her hair long and as green as the grass in springtime.
"I am Gaia, and if we are to save Wander, then we have much to do."
The goddess sighed as she sat down. "There they go... don't worry, Wander, nor you, Peepers. They shall soon find their way."
Wander smiled. "Thank goodness... how's Thatcher doing? Is he alright?"
"He seems fine for the most part, although when I came to him he seemed a bit shocked." She laughed. "Though that could be because I appeared to him in the guise I used when I masqueraded as his nanny. He apparently thought that I had died five years ago."
The orange prince laughed as well, looking relieved. "I'm glad that he's alright..."
Gaia smiled at him. "And how are you, Wander? You've been through quite a lot tonight yourself! Being kidnapped, finding out that your betrothed is not technically alive... I wouldn't blame you if you were exhausted!"
"Oh, well, I'm alright... Although, I have to admit, the whole skeleton thing threw me for a loop. I was expecting some kinda disfigurement, but what I imagined involved more skin... and blood... and internal organs... Yeah, really wasn't expecting that." He smiled. "But... I'm glad that he trusted me enough to tell me, even if he didn't really get the chance." The smile dropped off his face. "... But... But why?" He looked over at Peepers. "What happened to him?"
The monocular captain rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, kid, it's hardly my business to tell you-!"
"You were there, though, weren't you? When it happened?"
The Watchdog looked away, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "... Yes."
"Then, please! I need to know what happened to him!"
Peepers hesitated, then sighed, looking over at the prince. "It's not a happy story, nor is it one that I particularly like retelling, but I guess... if you're going to marry him, then I guess you ought to know."
"Captain, wait a moment." The goddess interjected, rising from her chair. "If he is to hear this story, then he should hear it from the very beginning."
Wander rolled his eyes as Gaia walked over to the wall, making it light up. "Gaia, I know the story! Your husband had a kid with a girl, the girl's kid had powers, the kid's kid had powers, and so on and so forth until we get to Thatcher. I need to know Thatcher's story."
"And you shall, dear one. But before you know the story of the Lonely King..." The light on the wall faded, revealing an image of a crowded tavern. On the stage, a lone figure stood, one with chocolate-colored skin and dark, curly hair pulled into a loose ponytail. "You must first learn the story of the Rebel Queen."
Wander blinked. "Wha...?"
"Oh, this should be good." Peepers said, folding his arms and looking up at the scene on the wall.
"My friends!" A familiar voice called, Wander's eyes widening when he recognized it.
"Wait, is that-?!"
"Shh!" The captain scolded quickly.
"For too long, we have suffered under the rule of the corrupt, cruel King Polonius. For too long, we have stood by, watching as he takes and takes, bending and breaking codes and rules put in place to keep people like him from abusing their power." The woman yelled, clenching her fist, making bright green sparks appear around it. "And now look what he's done! Not only has he taken the lands of the peaceful Watchdogs, he's virtually made them slaves by giving them no choice but to surrender their livelihoods to him!"
The crowd murmured in agreement, their faces twisted with anger and determination.
"What's to say that he won't enslave his own people next?! Are we any better than slaves now?!"
"No!" The crowd cried, their voices echoing through the tavern.
"Shall we simply wait and watch him become fat and rich while we starve on the streets?!"
"No!"
The woman grinned, her fist glowing a bright green and crackling with electrical energy as she pulled a sword with a guard shaped like the wings of a bat out of thin air. "Then let us not wait around a moment longer! I say we kill the king and start a new era!"
The crowd cheered at that, their fists raised in solidarity.
"Liberé! Égaleté! Justice!"
The scene in the tavern faded as the crowd ran out, cheering and brandishing various weapons as Andromache lead them out the door.
"Well, they seem confident!" Wander said cheerfully.
"Yeah. Too bad all the confidence in the world can't make up for a lack of numbers." Peepers stated, looking a little sad.
"What do you mean? Did it not go well?"
"Well, lemme put it this way- Did you ever finish reading Ceax Désolies?"
"... Oh, dear."
"Now, you'll need to find a ship that's not a Royal ship, Nox will be expecting that." Gaia explained as the members of the search party (which consisted of Thatcher, Tuesday, Corsair, Sylvia, and Andromache) gathered, the queen pulling her sword out of thin air.
"Whoa. Can I do that?" Thatcher asked, his eyes wide.
"You could if you had let me continue training you."
"Well, will you teach me that-?"
"Guys? Kind of in the middle of something here? You know, Wander and Peepers have been kidnapped by a Chaos god, the goddess who apparently used to be both our nanny and Mom's neighbor is trying to help? Kind of important!" Tuesday chided, pulling her hair up into a ponytail.
Gaia sighed, though she still smiled. "As I was saying, you'll need a ship, one that Nox won't recognize right away."
Tuesday grinned. "I think I know a ship."
"Oh, no. No. Nonono. Not him." Thatcher stated, his voice filled with dread.
"Yes, him. Do you know anyone else with a ship not part of the Royal fleet?"
"Have you forgotten that he's a wanted smuggler?!"
"That was one time!"
"He shot a man!"
"Who was pointing a gun at a child!"
"He threw another into the engine of a ship! While it was running!"
"... Okay, but that guy was an asshole!"
"We are not asking a criminal for a ride!"
Tuesday glared at him, then sighed, shrugging sadly. "Fine. I guess you'll never see Wander again, then."
The king-to-be made a choked noise in the back of his throat, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists in frustration. "Grrr- FINE! We'll ask stupid Magnum for a stupid ride to the stupid place to get the stupid Captain and my intended." He paused. "Who is not stupid." He added under his breath.
His sister smirked smugly. "Great! Oh, but he won't help you if you call him Magnum, he hates that name."
"Then what should I call him?"
Tuesday paused, coughing and murmuring something under her breath.
"What?"
"... Captain Awesome."
"... That is literally the stupidest name I have ever heard. And I know what those idiots at the Watchdog academy call me!"
"What happened after the battle?"
Gaia gave him a sad look, waving her hand again to change the image on the wall. This time, they were in a dungeon, a pair of guards on either side of Andromache, who was on her knees with her hands chained behind her back.
King Polonius looked down at her, a smug smirk on his face. "Did you truly think that your little rebellion would work, little witch?"
"I am no witch, villain! My blood comes from the gods of old!" She rasped, crying out when a guard struck her on the head.
Polonius chuckled lowly, his laughter full of mirth at her pain. "Of course it does, heathen. But it's a shame. A pretty thing like you, wasted on dreams of greatness."
Andromache growled, rearing back and spitting at his feet. The king grimaced, then howled in shock when the glob of saliva suddenly sparked and lit a fire at his feet.
"Whoa!" Wander cried, his eyes wide with amazement. "I didn't know she could do that!"
Beside him, Peepers shook with laughter, wiping tears of mirth out of his eye. "Heh, that's still funny."
"Wha?"
Wander looked over at the wall, where Polonius was glaring at a young Watchdog who was giggling to himself.
"O-Oh, um... sorry, sir." The guard, who could only be a younger Peepers, quickly apologized when he regained his composure.
"That was you?"
"Yep!"
"... Just how old are you, anyway?"
Peepers simply gave him a look before turning back to the screen.
Polonius walked over to Andromache, kneeling and forcing her to look at him. "Heh, feisty, aren't we? I like that in a girl."
"Ewwww..." Wander commented, perfectly expressing what Andromache face was saying.
"My thoughts exactly." Gaia murmured. "You can't even begin to imagine how badly I wanted to set him on fire in that moment."
Both the captain and the prince looked up at the goddess, startled by her comment.
"What? I'm a goddess, not a saint!"
"Now, normally, the penalty for treason is death, but killing you would be such a shame, now wouldn't it?"
"What?" The rebel rasped, squeaking in pain when his grip on her jaw tightened.
"Yes... I have a far more fitting punishment in mind for you, one that'll squash the unrest for good." The grin on the late king's face made Wander's stomach turn. "What better way to keep them in line than to show them that even their heroes can be seduced by the promise of great wealth and luxury?"
He waved at the scribe, who took a step forward.
"Make a note of this: In one month's time, I shall make this woman, Andromache Derinoe Gramaire, my faithful and demure queen."
"What?! Hey, fuck you, I'd never-!" Her shouts were cut off when the king moved forward, forcing his lips against hers.
"Oh, my dear girl..." He said, his voice slimy and snake-like. "You have no choice in the matter."
"... G... Go to hell." Andromache finally managed to get out, her body shaking as her eyes filled with tears.
The late king chuckled as he stood, turning and walking away. "Only if you'll meet me there, sweetheart."
The queen-to-be lunged forward, the restraints on her hands the only thing keeping her back. "Fuck you!"
"Heh. You're adorable when you're too angry to come up with a good insult." The king turned to Peepers. "Keep an eye on her, will you, Private...?"
"Peepers, sire."
"Whatever." The late king muttered, walking out the door with the scribe and the other two guards.
The room was silent once the king left. Andromache curled into a ball, silently sobbing to herself.
The younger Peepers looked away awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh... sorry. A-About, um, about him."
"... What do you have to apologize for? You're just a guard, you don't make decisions." She snorted humorlessly. "And even then, you'd be better at it then I am. I... I grew up with most of those people, they were my friends." She let out a sob. "I led my friends to their deaths... I wish he'd killed me!"
The scene faded, tears in Wander's eyes.
"I... I had no idea."
Gaia smiled sadly, kneeling and holding the prince close. "You couldn't have known before." She looked over at the wall. The scene changed, this time centering on a crib. Out of sight, Wander could hear the giggling of a baby, as well as a few chuckles from Andromache. "But as life is wont to do, it got better."
"Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more." Andromache said, the scene moving slowly away from the crib and towards a rocking chair. "Men were deceivers ever. One foot in sea, and one on shore, to one thing, constant never." The scene finally centered on the chair, where a happier, grinning Andromache was sitting, a baby, who could be no more than a few months old, sitting on her lap and grabbing at a tiny, translucent green image of a young woman dancing. "Then sigh not so, but let them go, and be you blithe and bonny, converting all your sounds of woe..." The image disappeared into swirls of color, making the baby gasp. The queen chuckled, shifting the child in her lap. "Into hey, nonny, nonny."
The baby cooed, clapping as the shapeless green mass turned into a man, one who was holding a guitar and strumming. "Sing no more ditties, sing no more, of dumps so dull and heavy." The image changed to a tree, one that was losing its leaves. "The fraud of man was ever so, since summer first was leafy." The image changed again, this time into a woman and a man, who were dancing. "Then sigh not so..." The man suddenly stopped, running away as the woman began to cry. "But let them go." A bunch of other women appeared, surrounding the one who had been abandoned. "And be you blithe..." The woman stood, joining hands with the crowd, who had begun to dance in a circle. "And bonny, converting all your sounds of woe..." Once again, the image dissipated, making the baby squeal. "Into, hey, nonny, nonny!"
The baby laughed, clapping joyfully. Andromache smiled, leaning over and kissing the baby on the cheek, then grinning and blowing a raspberry on his stomach, making the baby shriek with delight.
"Heh, sweet boy... my sweet little Thatcher." The queen murmured softly, holding the boy close.
"Let's hope he remains as sweet as he is now."
The queen looked up, smiling. "Will you tell the king that? Or tell him of how I was using my 'witchcraft' around his son?"
Peepers shrugged. "With all due respect, lady, fuck the king."
Andromache laughed. "As it pleases me, good sir, never." She replied, shifting Thatcher in her arms. "Ah, how glad I am that technology allows us to conceive a child without ever sharing a bed. Had I been forced to sleep with that man, I may have simply killed him and been done with it."
Thatcher giggled, making Andromache grin.
"Yes, darling, I would have strangled him with the bedsheets, yes I would have!" She cooed, making her child laugh even more.
"It concerns me that your child laughs when you talk about killing his father with linen."
"He's a very clever child, then, if he can recognize what a horrid person his father is!" Andromache replied, standing up and walking over to Peepers. "Here, hold him a moment, I have something I need you to take to the kitchens for me."
The commander sighed as the queen handed him her child, who was already half his size. "Oof! Forgive me, my lady, but I'm not quite sure you've thought this plan through!"
"Oh, you'll be fine!" She called as she walked into her closet.
Peepers groaned, taking a seat and setting the child on the floor. The baby grinned up at him, cooing and grabbing at the commander.
"... Andromache? He's giving me a weird look!"
"How so?"
"He's just... smiling and giggling, it's weird!"
The queen laughed. "Oh, he likes you!"
"Well tell him to stop it, it's freaking me out!"
The queen simply laughed as the scene faded, Wander looking over and grinning at Peepers.
"Aww!"
"... Shut up."
Gaia chuckled, waving her hand again. "As you know, Thatcher inherited the powers of his bloodline, and the king... well, he wasn't too happy about it. He demanded that Andromache bear him another heir, one that wouldn't have the powers." The image changed to Andromache in a bed, holding a bundle.
"And that baby was Tuesday... or I guess she was Timothy at the time." Wander scratched his head. "Tuesday explained it to me, but I still can't really wrap my head around the whole 'sex equals gender' thing y'all have going on. I mean, I understand it, but I still think it's a little silly to limit people like that!"
"People are weird, that's really all there is to it." Peepers replied, sounding a little tired himself.
Gaia sighed, waving her hand again. This time, an eight-year-old Thatcher and a four-year-old Tuesday were playing, Thatcher creating images in the air as Tuesday ran around excitedly. "For quite a while, the two of them were very close, as good of friends as two children could be, until..."
There was a bright flash.
"Timothy!" The young Thatcher cried, his voice nearly drowned out by the sounds of electricity. When the image faded, Thatcher had his younger sibling in his arms, crying and begging the child to wake up.
"There... there was an accident."
"What happened?"
"Thatcher accidentally hit her, knocked her off a table. She hit her head pretty hard." Peepers swallowed a lump in his throat. "She... she was out for two days."
Wander's eyes widened, his hand covering his mouth. "Oh, no."
Gaia sighed sadly as the scene faded, waving her hand before gasping. "Ooh! Wait, go back, go back, I love this part!"
There was a sound like a tape rewinding, everything going backwards until it finally stopped in the bedroom of a young Thatcher.
"Are you sure he's gonna be okay?" Thatcher asked as Peepers pulled the covers over him. "The doctor said-!"
"The doctor said that it was impossible to tell at this point. I'll bet you anything that Timmy will be fine though."
"But what if he hates me? I hurt him-!"
"Hey, I'm sure he knows it was an accident. Besides, the kid worships the ground you walk on, he'll forgive you."
Thatcher still looked unsure, but smiled, snuggling into his bed. "Okay... if you say so."
The monocular alien gave off the impression of grinning, turning off the light and walking towards the door. "Goodnight, Your Highness."
"... I love you, Peepers." Thatcher called quietly from his bed.
The captain froze in his tracks, glancing furtively over at the prince. "I... I, uh..." He turned away, clearing his throat. "I have a very deep regard for you as well, Thatcher."
The little prince grinned, clearly knowing what Peepers really meant. "G'night!" He said happily, closing his eyes.
The older alien paused for a moment, silently slipping out into the hall as the scene faded.
"Awww!"
"... Sh-Shut up." Peepers muttered, blushing brightly.
Gaia chuckled, waving her hand again and frowning as the scene changed to the young not-quite-yet Tuesday in the infirmary, sitting up. "When Tuesday awakened, she remembered nothing about Thatcher's powers. She believed any and all instances of magic she had experienced to be more mundane; fireworks, mirrors, simple magic tricks, anything but the truth." She waved her hand again, this time showing the young Thatcher looking sad as he slipped on a familiar pair of gloves. "Instead of telling his sibling the truth, however, Thatcher chose to instead hide his powers," another wave. A young Tuesday standing at her brother's bedroom door, looking sad. "And to keep his distance from his sibling." The scene faded. "For a while, everything seemed to be fine, but..." Gaia sighed. "The feigned peace just couldn't last."
"I hate this plan."
"Shh!" Tuesday chided, glancing around furtively. "Literally every gang in Capitol City hangs out at the docks; you wanna get shanked?!"
Even with his hood on, Tuesday could tell that her brother was giving her a look.
"... Fine, do you want the rest of us to get shanked?!"
"... No."
"Then shut up!"
The king-to-be rolled his eyes, looking down at the golden compass Gaia had promised would lead them to Wander. "This'll never work. Have you forgotten what Dad did to Magnum's-"
"Awesome."
"I'm not calling him that! Have you forgotten what Dad did to Magnum's people?"
"Of course not, but we are not our father. Besides, Awesome and I are cool."
"Still not happy about that."
"Oh, shut up." Suddenly, she held out her hand, looking at a rusty old ship. "We're here!"
"... A Lightning Bug? Really? This is the best he could do?"
"Hey! Don't discount the Lightning Bug!"
"They're basically lemons!"
"Well, yeah, if you don't upgrade the engine!"
Before the king-to-be could get in another word, the princess shushed him, clearing her throat and knocking on the door to the ship's passenger area.
There was a loud, irritated groan from the inside, the entire ship groaning as the door was unlocked.
" Δεν θέλυδμε καμί-!" The alien who opened the door, a tall, muscular Taurisian with a bandana over his snout and heart-print boxers on started angrily as he opened the door, halting mid sentence when he saw who was there. "O-Oh, um, Miss Tuesday!"
"Hi, Dan!" The princess greeted him, smiling. "I, uh... I like your boxers."
The large alien flushed, grabbing a coat from the rack next to the door and covering himself. "I, um, uh, I... wh-what are you doing out so late?" He blinked, looking out at the group surrounding his friend. "With so many people. Including your mother, apparently."
The queen smiled kindly at him. "I'm sorry for the hour, but it's rather urgent. Is King Magnum in?"
The Taurisian blinked, looking confused. "Uh, ma'am, I'm sorry, but I think you may have the wrong ship. I don't know any kings... or guys named Magnum, for that matter."
"She means Awesome, Danny boy." Tuesday whispered loudly.
"Oh! Oh, yeah, the Captain's in. He's probably up doing... I don't know, making deals or something." He moved away, gesturing inside. "Please, come in."
The party walked inside, observing the somewhat well-maintained living quarters of the ship.
Well, it's not as much of a nightmare as I expected... Thatcher begrudgingly admitted to himself as he walked in.
Suddenly, there was a shrill scream, and when the king-to-be turned around something leapt out at him, latching onto his head and biting at his skull.
"Gah! Get it off!" The prince regent demanded, trying to pry whatever it was off.
"Lia, no! Get off of him!" Dan yelled, running over and trying to pull the small alien off.
" Vat fen är det soma händir häer?!" Someone else yelled as they ran into the living area. "Oh! Hello, Miss Tuesday!"
"Hi, Cashmere!" Tuesday replied quickly as she too tried to pry the pink creature off of her brother. "Little help here?!"
"Wh-?! Lia, no! Don't attack people!"
Another pair of hands joined the struggle, just as Thatcher felt what had to be some sort of tentacle beating at his shoulder.
"Get it off!"
"Her!"
"What?"
"Her, not it!"
"Wh- I don't care! Just get her off!"
"Che cosa site idiotia facindo?!" Another voice yelled, the creature on Thatcher's head suddenly going limp.
"Sona re! Sona veniti a portaci in prisione!" He heard a young, feminine voice yell from the top of his head.
The man who had just entered sighed, walking over and picking Lia up. "Lia, questa donia qui è mi amica." He explained, gesturing at Tuesday. "Li non ha intenziona di girire noi, lo promitto."
The little girl frowned. "Ma ti hai detito-!"
"Non senza ma, picola sinorina. Ora dica Thatcher che ti dispice per il salto sul su volto."
Lia frowned, then scoffed, folding her arms. "Mi dispice per il salto sul tu viso. E per voi mordiri."
"... I understood exactly none of that."
"She says she's sorry for jumping you. And for biting you." The orca-like alien shrugged. "Sorry. Lia doesn't know a lot of Galactic Standard. Or how to behave around people, really, she spends most of her time in the engine room."
"You let a kid in the engine room?!"
"You kidding? I'm lucky if she allows me to be in there!" Awesome chuckled, ruffling the hair-like tentacles on the girl's head. "She's our engineer."
"Uh... huh. And... how old is she, exactly?"
"Seven."
The little girl looked offended, tugging at the captain's pants. Awesome rolled his eyes.
"And a half. She knows numbers."
Tuesday chuckled, walking over to her friend. "Sorry about this."
"No problem. Sorry my engineer tried to eat your brother's face."
"Eh, don't worry about it."
"Hey!"
"Well it's not like there's that much to eat, is there?" Tuesday snarked before turning back to her friend. "Listen, Cap, I need a favor-!"
Awesome held up his hands. "Say no more. Everyone, to the meeting room!" The captain glanced over at his first mate. "But first, Dan, go put on some pants. And get your own damn coat!"
The Taurisian flushed sheepishly. "Eh-heh, sorry."
"Wait, go back, I think I saw Thatcher!"
"Oh, I don't think you want to see that, dear."
"Why not?"
"Well, do you want to see your intended with another man?"
"... No. No I do not."
"I didn't think so."
The wall darkened, then opened on a new scene, this time what appeared to be a confessional booth. A man was yelling unintelligibly, and a young person, whom Wander realized had to be Tuesday, cried out as she was tossed inside, the rather ugly dress she was wearing slipping off her shoulders.
"Confess, you-!"
"Nope." Gaia suddenly said, pausing the screen.
"Why'd you pause it?"
"Because listening to this rant once was enough for me, if I have to do it again I'll be ill."
"Agreed." Peepers said, glaring at the man on screen.
"Oh, um, alright."
Gaia sighed, waving her hand quickly so that the image skipped to the late king's exit. He growled angrily as he pushed past Thatcher, whose face was splotchy and eyes were bloodshot from crying.
"Shh... shh..." Andromache said softly as she held her child in her arms, Tuesday sobbing woefully. "Oh, sweet darling, I'm so sorry..."
"I... I'm sorry, Mother." She finally managed, gripping at her mother's dress.
"Sweetheart!" The queen cried out, pulling back and looking at her child. "My darling, whatever could you be sorry for?"
"L-Look at me! I'm- I'm all wrong!"
"No, no darling, no! There is nothing wrong with you, you have nothing to be ashamed of!" She paused. "Except perhaps your choice in dress, I'm afraid it makes you look rather like a sack of potatoes."
Tuesday let out a choked laugh, hugging her mother. "Y-Yeah, I... I don't actually know my size, so I just grabbed the first one I saw..."
"Well, no wonder then!" Andromache smiled, kissing her child on the forehead. "Now, how about we go to my quarters, order a bunch of junk food and watch something cute and silly?"
"... Can we watch Vile Girls?"
"Yes, darling, of course. And I won't even try to drown out the bad words this time."
Tuesday laughed, smiling through her tears.
Meanwhile, Thatcher stood, tears in his eyes as he watched the scene, feeling the guilt of years and years of shutting his sibling out and never listening rise up in him.
None of them noticed Peepers, or the angry look on his face as he ran off as the image faded away.
"You... You can probably guess what happened next." Peepers muttered.
The image of the king came on screen. He suddenly seized, making choking sounds and crumbling to the floor, his hands flying to his neck as his face turned purple.
"He died maybe five minutes later. They thought it was some new disease."
"For fear of an epidemic, the king's body was cremated moments after he died." Gaia murmured. "So even though Peeper's deal is broken, the king can never return to his body."
She waved her hand again, and a new scene began. Tuesday stood in a black dress, staring at her brother's bedroom door. After a moment, she knocked.
"Thatcher?"
No response.
"I know you're in there, big brother." She paused for a moment. "I know you won't come out, but... I hope you'll just listen to me."
She turned around, leaning against the hard wood and slumping to the floor. "The ceremony was beautiful. I wore a new dress." She snorted. "One last 'fuck you' I guess."
Still nothing.
"It's funny. With everything he put me through, everything he put us through, I thought I'd be happy to see him go." She sighed, hugging her legs close to her. "But... I'm not happy. 'M not sad either. I'm just... I'm numb, I guess."
Silence.
"... Wish you'd come out." She leaned her head against her knees. "I miss you."
After a moment, the scene switched over to Thatcher, who sat in darkness, the broken lightbulbs in his room letting off green sparks. He looked back at the door, pure heartbreak in his eyes as the scene faded away once again.
"We need a ride."
"Sure. Where to?"
Tuesday held her hand out, Thatcher rolling his eyes as he handed her the compass. "We go wherever this compass points us."
"Wait, what?!" Cashmere exclaimed, swiveling around in the pilot's seat. "You don't know where you're going?!"
"Not exactly, no, but I've got a guarantee that this thing'll take us where we need to go!"
"Wh- Captain, as your pilot I am giving my professional opinion that this is a terrible idea!"
Awesome looked up thoughtfully. "Hmm... Hate to say it, princess, but I think that ol' Wooly here might have a-"
"We'll pay you triple your normal rate."
"Done."
"Wait, what?!" Both Thatcher and Cashmere exclaimed.
"You said nothing about paying them!" Thatcher hissed, pulling his sister aside.
"Oh, pipe down, King Pennypincher! I've got it covered!"
"Captain, this is a terrible idea! For all we know this could end up being a major disaster-!"
Suddenly, both Tuesday and Dan saluted. "Major Disaster!"
"You two are the only ones in the whole flarpin' galaxy who think that joke is funny." Awesome deadpanned. "And cool it, Cash. Trust me, we'll be fine."
The Baaaah-hallan narrowed his eyes. "Sir, have you forgotten about what happened to you? To your people?"
The Altantican froze, clenching his fist.
The explosion.
His family, gone.
A race of eight million, reduced to maybe a hundred thousand in an instant.
"... That wasn't their fault. They were kids then, it wasn't their call. We could use the money. We're going."
Cashmere folded his arms. "Well, then get yourself a new pilot, because I'm not going!"
Tuesday rolled her eyes, walking over to the pilot. "Look, fuzzball, I know it sounds stupid, but this is in the name of true love!"
In the background, Dan deflated.
"Miss Tuesday, I'm very sorry, but I can't help you get your lover-!"
"Not me, you idiot!" She pointed at her brother. "Him!"
Thatcher tried not to notice how Dan perked up at that. "Tuesday!"
"Shut up! Look, his intended was kidnapped, and I don't know where he is, but I'm not about to let his one chance at love get away!"
"Gee, thanks, sis."
"Love you too. Haven't you ever been in love, Cash? Because if you have, you'll know that you can't just give up, not when someone means as much to you as Wander means to Thatcher!"
Cashmere stared at her for a moment, then sighed, turning around in his chair. "Give me the compass."
Tuesday grinned, handing the compass to the pilot. To everyone's surprise, it began glowing, point straight up into the sky.
"Whoa! Okay, so maybe this'll work after all!" Cashmere stated in awe, quickly setting up to take off. "Get back to the bay, we're outta here in ten minutes!"
As they walked away, Thatcher looked up into the sky, swallowing hard.
Wander... wherever you are, please, just hold on a little longer. I'll be there as soon as I can.
