11. Rejection
Kimiko wishes Master Fung, Master Monk Guan and Dojo had shared their discovery before the doubles arrived. It may have made the other Clay and Kimiko feel left out of the loop, but at least then she, Omi, Raimundo and Clay wouldn't have had to witness the horrible play of emotions across their faces. Neither would they have sat so dumbstruck while the other Kimiko leapt up and fled, and the other Clay just sat there swallowing convulsively.
Someone should follow her, Kimiko thinks. Who knows what she might do now. It's a little picture of the whole muddle.
Yet the other Clay is in no position to go chasing anyone. He makes as if to rise, but she can see he's acting on instinct. It strikes her that he isn't here just as the other Kimiko's second in command. Ever since they arrived she's attributed that role to him because whenever the other girl stumbles he's there, right there at her side, shoring her up. It's easy to forget that he's a person too. It's also easy to forget that he can think of things other than his feelings for his Kimiko, but that's obviously exactly what he's thinking right now.
Raimundo also gets up, but Kimiko tells him to sit back down. "You're injured and she's half-crazy. Not a good mix."
"Be careful," he says quietly, and with far less argument and far more apprehension than she would've suspected of him.
It's this she's thinking of when she catches up with her doppelganger and fends off her attack. Those two softly spoken words resonate incongruously, bouncing of the sides of her skulls as she listens to the awful laughter echoing around them, kneels and draws the other Kimiko into her arms.
Be careful.
Be careful.
"Be careful," she whispers, even though it's a dumb thing to say.
They both shudder with the force of her doppelganger's sobs. Kimiko holds her tight, realising after a few minutes that this is the most physical contact they've had that isn't fighting. She's so bony. Even now, after weeks of temple food, her shoulder blades stick out like Cadillac fins. Kimiko can feel them under her hands and they feel horrible, but she doesn't pull away.
Instead they just sit there for a long time, until the other Kimiko's sobs subside and she becomes strangely still.
Kimiko is wondering what to do next when she becomes aware of Master Fung standing behind her. She doesn't know how long he's been there, but allows him to gather the other Kimiko into his arms and carry her back to the Infirmary. The fight with the Jackinator was hours ago, but she's never felt more drained.
Raimundo and Omi are also there, and help her to her own feet. Together they return to their personal areas and just sit with her, saying nothing because there's really nothing to say.
Presumably Clay is with his double. When asked, both Omi and Rai reply in the affirmative. The other Clay didn't go to pieces as spectacularly as the other Kimiko, but he was shell-shocked enough that they didn't want to leave him alone when he insisted they follow the girls. Master Monk Guan, Dojo and Clay stayed with him – though nobody's sure how beneficial Master Monk Guan's company would be.
"He was so cold," Kimiko says, shaking her head. "When he told them … did you see how cold he was? Was he ever that cold before?"
"Probably." Raimundo shrugged. "He's not exactly famous for being a bundle of hyuks. All work and no play makes you Master Monk Guan, now drop and give me twenty, worms."
"Even so … that was harsh." Kimiko licked her lips. "So what do we do now?"
"Obviously we must strive to discover a way to keep your double and Clay's in our world," Omi says as if it's the most logical thing in the world.
"Right. Fine. How?"
"Um…" He looks a little less sure of himself. "I … do not know. But we must strive anyway."
"So we get with the striving. Anybody know anything about inter-dimensional travel magicks?" Raimundo looks around.
Nothing.
"Though not. Raise your hand if you have no clue where to go from here."
Kimiko doesn't hesitate. Omi follows a few seconds later, and seeing their raised hands, Raimundo adds his own.
"Is it wise for a Shoku Warrior to admit such defeat?" Omi wonders.
"I'm not admitting defeat, dude, I'm just saying I'm open to ideas for our next move."
"Oh." Omi frowns in thought. "We could consult the scrolls in the Archive Room. They are very many, and Master Monk Guan and Master Fung may have overlooked something."
"Okay, good idea. Can you read ancient Chinese? 'Cause from what Master Monk Guan was saying, I think anything useful will be in the Do Not Take Into Direct Sunlight section."
"I am versed in early forms of Mandarin and Cantonese, and several local dialects thought extinct by the rest of the world." Even now Omi's voice holds a note of triumph at his own skills compared to theirs, but Kimiko can't hold it against him. Instead, his gentle arrogance is a comfort.
"Okay, so you're on research duty. Kimiko, you're tech queen; how about something digital?"
She knows of several people she can email who won't bat an eyelid at that sort of request, and as far as she knows she's the only Xiaolin in her webring. Magick isn't limited to what they use at the temple. Someone somewhere must know something they can use. "I can get online; get some feedback from alternative practitioners."
Omi looks puzzled.
"Y'know, other types of magick – Wicca, Enochian, Alchemy, Neo-Shamanism, stuff like that. If we can't find the answer in Xiaolin, we'll go elsewhere."
A slightly aggrieved expression flits across his face at this perceived challenge, but he nods. Omi may be proud but he's not stupid.
"And what'll you be doing, Rai?" Kimiko asks.
Rai runs a hand through his hair, which accidentally tears off his band-aid. The cut underneath is clean but angry red. "I'll …"
"Perhaps Jack Spicer could help us. His technology -"
"Omi, dude, don't even go there. The guy went up to the next level today. He tried to kill. You don't come back from that."
"Actually," Kimiko puts in, not sure why but speaking anyway, "he didn't kill anyone. He just … set things up that way, but it didn't actually happen."
"I can't believe you're defending him."
"I'm not! Well yes, I am, but only because …" She stops, unable to finish her own sentence.
Raimundo looks straight at her. "Because what? I'm really interested to hear this one. He attacked us with a giant robot, blew up the water tower, threatened the lives of two defenceless bystanders – and me – and then ran off squealing like the giant coward he is after Kimiko Two saved his sorry life from his own malfunction. How can you justify that?"
"I can't. I just thought … like Omi said, we might need him."
"We won't."
"But we might -"
"We. Won't."
It's not worth fighting about. They have options right now, so Jack's involvement isn't crucial. Her webring has techno-whizzes in it – non-evil techno-whizzes – who might be able to help out with the whole breaking-through-the-walls-of-dimensions thing.
Except …
Kimiko frowns. "Question: are we trying to make the other Kimiko and Clay go home, or find a way for them to stay in our world without going all fadey? Kimiko Two's been really clear about not wanting to go home."
"Yeah, but things have changed," Raimundo points out.
"Should we not ask herself about this?" enquires Omi. "And Clay Two also?"
Yet Kimiko is emphatic about her double's desire to remain in their world. She gets quite shrill about it, incurring a look between the two boys that can only be described as 'bamboozled'. By sheer force of her will, they cease even talking about sending the doppelgangers home and agree to concentrate on stabilising any and all magicks necessary for them to stay in this dimension.
This decided, they break apart and go their separate ways, thankful for something positive to do. Omi and Raimundo both retreat to the Archives, while Kimiko finds a quiet corner and taps at her PDA, sending out feelers. Several reap promises to work on it, a few more get positive feedback, and she's confident that when those who haven't answered get to their computers they'll also agree to help out.
Everyone is curious as to why she needs the information, and she figures at this point there's more to lose by not telling than keeping silent. She can practically hear the low whistles that accompany the admission that she has an alternate version of herself, who is not only living under the same roof, but also slowly and painfully ceasing to exist in this reality. A couple ask if they can come and see her to run some tests. Kimiko says she'll ask.
Hours later Raimundo reappears. "A week."
"Excuse me?"
"Two weeks tops."
"What are you babbling about?"
"That's how long Master Fung reckons the other Clay and Kimiko have before they go poof completely. And it may be a case of that's when the last bits of them disappear. They could go anytime before that if things go south."
She's shocked. Then she wonders why she's shocked. She just never even thought about how small the time window might be. "Oh."
"That's one word for it."
She swallows. Her throat is scratchy. "How's the research going?"
"Do you know how many scrolls refer to hopping between dimensions? And of those, do you know how many are totally useless?"
She sighs and rubs her eyes. They sting from staring at her PDA for so long. "I'm hungry. I haven't eaten since … yeesh, since before the Jack attack. You want something to eat?"
"I could murder a cheeseburger right now. Or a giant strawberry milkshake."
"Okonomiyaki." She draws her knees up to her chest, and then stretches them out with toes pointed to ease her cramped muscles, leaning back on her splayed palms for balance. "Especially modanyaki."
"What the hell?"
"You remember when we visited Tokyo that time, and I took all you guys to that street-side eatery for those batter pancake things?"
That was fun. She remembers fondly how they all crammed under the canvas stretched across the stall front, perched on stools to slurp messily at the corndog-shaped snacks. She remembers being squashed elbow to elbow with Rai, fighting with him while simultaneously explaining to Omi how she used to sneak out of the Academy to gorge on Okonomiyaki at similar stalls.
She also remembers how she didn't mention that she chose to sneak off to street-stalls instead of upmarket restaurants because her mother would never deign to eat at them. She remembers how Clay and Dojo didn't surface from stuffing their faces until it was time to leave, and Dojo had such bad indigestion they had to charter a flight home.
Her smile fades. Her mother, Papa, the visit to Tokyo she and her doppelganger planned so carefully; it was all going to come to nothing now …
"Those were good." Rai's voice breaks into her thoughts. "What did you call them again?"
"Uh, Okonomiyaki."
"We should go for those again sometime."
"Yeah."
"When things are less crazy."
"Heck yeah."
She's suddenly, stupidly aware of their nearness. Rai has his hand out to help her to her feet, and even though he's done it a million times before, this time she eschews his help and gets up by herself. She brushes dust from her tunic and checks her hair, today its natural black but twisted into four small buns scattered across the back of her head. Each trails a ribbon that makes her feel like a cut-price Chun-Li.
Painting on a bright smile she chirps, "We can take the other Clay and Kimiko. If she's anything like me then she loves Okonomiyaki, and you know any incarnation of Clay will wolf down whatever's set in front of him."
Rai nods, slowly and deliberately. "Yeah. We'll all go together. And we'll make Dojo stay giant sized and frighten everyone in Tokyo."
"Are you kidding? The place that's seen more radioactive dinosaurs than you've had hot dinners?"
"You do realise those were all movies, right?"
"Idiot."
They head for the kitchen. On the way they pass within spitting distance of the Infirmary, and Kimiko can't resist popping her head around the door to check on her doppelganger.
The other girl appears to be sleeping. Her hair is spread across the pillow like filigree, and her face is to the wall. Yet just as Kimiko steps away she turns over, fixing her with an eye that burns fiercer than the firestorm she summoned.
For a second Kimiko is caught by that eye. Then she swallows and goes fully into the room.
Rai lingers in the corridor, not wanting to face her double, but at Kimiko's imploring look he follows her in.
This doesn't go unnoticed by her doppelganger, who says nothing and stares blankly at the two of them. There's no trace of her earlier tears. Without greeting them she sits up, swings her feet out of bed and laces up her sandals. "I'm not an invalid. I know you guys don't believe master Monk Guan and have been working to keep me and Clay here. I want to help."
"You should rest -"
"I'm not sick," she snaps, "but I am sick of lying around here not doing anything. Mister Won and Mister Ton are out picking flowers for potions or dancing skyclad or something. They said to stay in bed. Now help me find a hairbrush so I can get out of here."
Still wary of the other girl's condition the last time she saw her, Kimiko produces her own fold-out hairbrush and mirror. The other Kimiko talks briskly and moves with purpose; acting nothing like the broken heap she was only a short while ago. Kimiko fills her in about their various research agendas as they scout for Mister Won and Mister Ton, slip out and head for the kitchen.
"Non-Xiaolin magick. Great idea. Let Master Monk Guan put that in his pipe and smoke it."
Rai is noticeably quiet. He trails a little behind the two girls until the other Kimiko rounds on him and taps her foot in a way that's so Kimiko it's scary.
"Are you gonna walk on eggshells around me until I … are you gonna do this forever?"
He glances around, as if looking for the person she's talking to. "Huh?"
"Because it's really not you. You're supposed to be obnoxious and think you're smarter than you are, and have little flashes of sensitivity right at the moments when I think you're an incurable jerk-off. And while I've come to know painfully well that I can't freeze either your world or mine in a happier time forever, I'm really starting to hate this pussy-footing version who can't even look at me because what's happening to me scares him. Twenty-four hours ago all I had to worry about was fitting in here and getting airsick on the plane to Tokyo. Now I've discovered the guy I hated most actually saved my life at the expense of his own, I'm going to fade slowly and excruciatingly out of reality unless I resurrect magicks that might well wreck the universe if used – magicks even the greatest ever Xiaolin master couldn't use – and I have a headache an aspirin the size of China won't budge. So ask yourself, Rai; do you really want to add to that and watch the fireworks?"
Raimundo blinks. "Uh…"
Kimiko draws close to him and hisses, "Just shake your head and agree to whatever she says."
He furiously complies. "Whatever you say."
The doppelganger glares at him hard enough to melt iron filings. "Good boy. Now heel."
"Huh?"
"So you had your sense of humour surgically removed, too?" She rolls her eyes. "Look, I know I already scared the bejeezus out of everyone before this. I know you and I didn't exactly hit it off, and I know I can be a little less than stable." She snorts at her own words. "But seriously, where's the Xiaolin spirit I know and love? The part of us that says 'screw that' when presented with impossible odds? I know this world isn't so different from mine where that's concerned – I heard about when Omi ruined the future and changed the present so Chase Young was good and evil ruled the world, and I heard how you all worked to fix it even though, hello, entire universe messed up beyond all recognition.
"This is big. I won't lie and say I'm fine, because underneath this façade of cool, composed and coherent babbling -" Her left eye twitches. "- is a whole heap of stuff just simmering away. But whatever crisis I'm faced with, one thing I am not gonna do is just look at the wall and cry. Neither am I gonna sit on my hiney waiting for it to happen. If you've got all these plans to help me then I'm really grateful, but I'd be even more grateful if you'd just. Act. Normal." She's breathing hard as she finishes.
Kimiko resists the urge to take a step backwards and check her eyebrows haven't been singed off. The vehemence is scorching.
"Uh … I'm sorry?" Raimundo tries.
"Don't be sorry. Be Raimundo. Be who you are so if things can't be fixed…" She takes a breath, grits her teeth and continues. "So if things can't be fixed then at least Clay and I can enjoy what time we've got left."
The air seems to solidify around them, until Kimiko feels like she's breathing chunks of tension.
"I can't be your Raimundo," Rai says at last.
"I know. Believe me … I know. That's why I'm not asking you to be him – or Dashi."
Rai flinches. "Thank goodness for that."
"Do you hate me?"
"What? No!"
"So do you think you can function around me and my psychosis?"
"I'm gonna do all I can to keep you here in our world, if that's what you mean."
The other Kimiko looks like she's about to cry again, but draws herself up to her full height. "Thank you."
"Truce?" He offers his hand.
She takes it without delay. "Truce."
It's surreal. It's unsettling. Kimiko knows her double is a fuse waiting for a lit match, just as she knows these two distress each other more than can ever been deemed healthy. They've been tension personified since that ill-fated Chocolate Mudslide, and they will never been 'all right' in the truest sense of the words.
And yet …
And yet watching them shake hands now … something clicks with the universe. She isn't sure why she's suddenly flooded with the Oaty Oatmeal glow, but she's too pleased at its return to probe.
