Chapter 11
A/N: *sigh* I can keep my eyes open to write these scenes now, but I still have to slow down to do them, and a lot of the time I blush. *nosewrinkle*
As always, thanks to the wonderful GreekGirl for betaing! And thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm glad you're not mad at me for making Draco do something mean! Wow... I'm abusing the exclamation points again. *sigh* I'm excited though! A new chapter!
For the record: I hate those stupid paper sticks on lollipops. The ones that come on the cheap Halloween bags of them that are all mushy before the candy's even gone. Serious candy design flaw there...
~Frosty
Malfoy knew the second she returned, as he would have solidified when she was once again within twenty metres of him. She waited by the fireplace for him to appear again and come out from wherever he was lurking. He didn't disappoint.
"Granger, let me explain," he started, entering the room from the kitchen.
"You had me dress like a whore, left me alone with my dinner to shag a waitress then showed up just in time to stop that man from dragging me into an alley." She paused. "Did I miss anything?"
"You're really going to blame me for showing up before he got you into that alley?" It was in his nature to defend himself, even when he was doomed to lose.
"But after he had already punched me!" She gestured sharply, bringing his attention to the dark stain around her eye. It was highly unlikely that he hadn't noticed it before, but he deflated a little when he got a good look at it.
"Just let me explain-"
"I don't want to hear it!" She snapped, advancing on him. She stopped right in front of him and stared up at him challengingly. The look he was giving her was somewhere between furious and guilt-ridden.
She took a deep breath to gather her courage before she did what had to be done. Inadvertently, she took in his scent with her air and realized that some part of her was going to miss him. He was like a fungus or something that seemed disgusting from a distance, but once it had moved into your home, you realized that it wasn't a fungus at all; it was just a misunderstood flower.
Hermione sharply shook her head. That man must have hit her harder than she'd thought; she was comparing Malfoy to flowers. Whatever had been going on between her and Malfoy needed to be stopped before it got any further out of hand. Immediate herbicide was needed.
Without warning, she grabbed the back of his neck and roughly dragged him down to her level. Her lips were pressed against his before he even had time to object.
She had expected to just quickly press her lips against his and be done with the whole thing; a harmless peck on the lips and she'd be rid of him. What she hadn't taken into consideration was the jolt she felt as their mouths connected that seemed to travel from her lips and move on to warm up her whole body.
Malfoy was quick to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her tight against him while moving the other up to her head to turn it to a better angle and keep it there. Unconsciously, Hermione tangled her hands in his soft hair and parted her lips slightly to grant him entrance.
With the suddenness of a collision, she realized what she was doing. Her eyes snapped open and she pulled him away from her face with the grip she had on his hair.
His darkened grey eyes were full of bewildered confusion as he looked down at her. If she hadn't very recently been on the receiving end of his cold-hearted cruelty, Hermione would have felt like the villain for breaking off the kiss based on his expression alone.
Her cheeks were darkly stained with embarrassment at how carried away she'd gotten. Taking a deep breath to compose herself, Hermione looked him in the eyes. "Get out," she ordered, surprised when her voice came out wispier than she'd intended. She cleared her throat to make sure that it was stronger next time.
"And where do you expect me to go?" He demanded, starting to get angry; he was probably upset that he responded to the kiss, it was admitting that he desired a 'Mudblood'. "I can't exactly do much when I'm a shadow."
"The kiss should have fixed that, now get out." She should have been happy, but Hermione was soul-crushingly sad for some reason. It wasn't like she actually cared for the git... Was it?
If she'd thought Malfoy's expression was angry when she told him to leave, it was nothing compared to the storm clouds that were brewing in his grey eyes after she told him he was cured. She'd never seen him so furious, and it almost scared her.
He must have seen the flash of fear in her eyes because he suddenly closed down all expression in his face, leaving his expressive eyes empty, like two pools of water with no bottom in sight.
"Fine." He said with a voice so cold it chilled her to the bone. Without further comment, or even looking back, he walked into the guestroom to gather his bags. She heard the pop of Apparation almost immediately after and knew he was gone.
She'd got what she wanted, so why did it feel like he'd ripped out her heart and taken it with him? Horrified, she realized that; if anything, she'd ripped out her own heart. With a deep, shuddering breath, Hermione collapsed to the floor and burst into tears.
Ginny and Harry found her that way hours later when they came to make sure she was all right. "What happened?" Ginny asked, kneeling down beside her.
Hermione had long run out of tears, but she stared sadly at her friend. "It doesn't matter; the curse is broken, so now everything can go back to normal." For some reason, 'normal' didn't seem like something she wanted anymore.
"You don't really believe that, or you wouldn't be sitting there in such a state," Harry said sadly. Ginny had explained as much as she could about Hermione's situation, but neither of them knew what had happened to make her go from upset to the broken woman that she was now.
Hermione closed her eyes for a second before pulling herself back up from the floor and shakily standing; her legs were a little wobbly from prolonged inactivity, but she forced them to hold her up. "I'm not in a state at all," she recited in an empty voice.
"I'll be fine, you two can go home, we all have work in the morning." Hermione continued monotonously.
Her friends glanced anxiously at each other, but there wasn't really anything they could do for Hermione, she just needed time to get over the whole ordeal – they hoped. Eventually, Harry and Ginny were called home by their need for sleep, leaving Hermione once again alone. Her flat seemed much bigger when she was alone.
She stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed her candy before collapsing in a chair. That night, she spent hours absently going through lollipop after lollipop and running through the events that had led up to her depressing state.
The crunching of her candies continued until early in the morning, when she finally fell asleep on a pile of wrappers and gnawed paper sticks.
It was the sunshine that woke her up the next morning. She had a horrible crick in her neck and candy wrappers stuck to her face and in her hair. With a groan, Hermione pulled herself up and looked at the clock; she had twenty minutes to be ready and out the door or she was going to be late for work.
She trudged into her room to find the green robes that were her uniform. Just before she Apparated out, Hermione cast one last sad look around her flat, hoping it would feel more normal when she came back.
Work that day was more exhausting than usual; she had barely slept the previous night and Malfoy was weighing heavily on her mind. For the first time in her entire medical career, Hermione did something irresponsible; she left work early.
Her bed was a welcome sight after a long day and sleep-deprivation. She collapsed into the soft mattress and briefly contemplated smothering herself with the pillow. When she pulled one over her face, she found that it still smelled like the expensive shampoo Malfoy had brought with him.
She groaned and threw the pillow across the room, watching as it slid down the wall and landed in a lump on the floor. Why did he have to still haunt her after he was gone?
Thinking back to her life before she'd gone to help her cousin with his insane ideas, Hermione tried to remember what it was like then. She'd gone to work, come home, slept, and then gone to work again. Maybe she wasn't missing Malfoy, maybe she just missed the irregularity he had brought to her boring schedule.
So, logically, all she had to do what find someone else to fill the hole that Malfoy had left in her life. She just had to start dating. The idea wasn't appealing, but she was willing to try it if it would alleviate the feeling that was crushing her chest.
Content that the mess Malfoy had made her life into was on its way to being cleaned up, Hermione was able to fall asleep... after she'd jumped out of bed and retrieved Malfoy's pillow from the floor so she had something to hug during her slumber.
Gradually, Hermione did manage to move on – to an extent. She met a man when he came into the hospital after a horrible flare-up of his carpal tunnel from flicking his wand in the same motion all the time. He was a filing clerk and only ever used one movement while he was filing.
Hermione thought he was the perfect man for her; sure he was a little bland and there was no spark, but Owen was stable and safe. He was the logical choice.
There was one small bump in their budding relationship; she hated to kiss him, and the feeling seemed mutual. She'd tried it a few times and couldn't help compare the experience to her one kiss with Malfoy. Owen didn't seem to mind though; he wasn't a touchy-feely person and didn't really need her for more than standing and looking pretty while holding his arm at hospital fundraisers and during Ministry functions where St. Mungos staff were invited. She suspected there was more to his story than she was getting, but she didn't read too much into it because she was content with the arrangement.
Harry and Ginny made sure to stop by every weekend and give her knowing, pitying looks, but she put on a brave face and ignored the expressions, forcing herself to smile and engage the two in pointless conversation that did anything but prove that she was back to normal – Hermione Granger did not chatter about pointless things.
She had briefly been broken, survived it, and was gathering the pieces of her life and slowly building them into a new shape. However, this new form was nearly shattered when two very large pieces from previous breaks came back and tried to fit into the new shape, smashing it all to bits in the process.
It had started out as a normal day, but twenty minutes into her early morning shift, something happened that completely threw off the comforting routine that was her life.
"Healer Granger!" A frantic apprentice shouted. "There's a patent that managed to Splinch himself horribly. They need your assistance!"
Hermione rushed off in the direction the apprentice had indicated, only to freeze in the doorway. Her stomach took up residence somewhere in near her ankles and a wave of cold dread washed over her. Lying in the bed as pale as a ghost was the familiar form of Draco Malfoy. She immediately rushed forward and started performing the spells she knew would help treat the deep gashes across his legs, arm and forehead.
It took them over three hours of constant spell casting to pull the git back from the brink of death and an additional hour to make sure there was no permanent damage. By the time he was resting peacefully in genuine sleep, Hermione was beyond exhausted.
The other hospital staff had long vacated the room to give the patient some space to breathe and rest. Hermione had volunteered to monitor Malfoy for the remainder of her shift so she could stay at work while doing something that didn't involve much energy; her choices had been to do what she was doing or go home and rest, and she was not the type to just rest when there were things to be done.
When Malfoy started to shift restlessly in his sleep, Hermione moved over to stand beside his bed. Gently, she brushed the hair back from his forehead and murmured soothing words.
In her time away from Malfoy, Hermione had forgotten how fast he could be. Apparently, he had only been pretending to sleep, because the second her skin was no longer in contact with his, he snapped out a hand and grabbed her wrist, tugging on it so hard that she tumbled over the small railing on his bed and landed too hard on his chest.
Frantic, she tried to scramble off of him, worried that she would irritate his mostly-healed wounds. "Calm down Granger, you're not hurting me," he mumbled, bringing his arms around her to still her movements.
Against her better judgement, Hermione found herself relaxing against him. She was just so tired, and he was so warm and familiar...
Shaking her head, she made another feeble attempt to pull away, but her heart wasn't in it. "Malfoy, I have a boyfriend," she tried. Sure, he wasn't exactly trying anything besides holding her a little too close, but it felt like she was cheating.
His hand came up and pressed her head back down against his chest, allowing her to feel him chuckle as well as hear it. "Granger, that man is as gay as... well, his boyfriend."
Hermione tensed, but didn't say anything. Perhaps it was because she was tired, or possibly because she didn't actually want to know, but she didn't question how he knew who her boyfriend was, or why he bothered knowing the sexual orientation of said boyfriend.
He carefully looked at the top of her head, trying to judge her reaction to the news. "You already knew that, didn't you?"
Nodding, the brunette sighed. "Yes, I had my suspicions, but I needed someone so Ginny and Harry would get off my back and he seemed to need someone so that no one would expect his relationship with his boss was anything more the business."
Her drooping eyelids were starting to become a problem. If she didn't get off of him soon, she feared she was going to fall asleep against him. She could only imagine her horror should someone find her in her current compromising position.
"I never would have suspected you were such a cuddly person before I met you," she mumbled into his blanket. Because she was lying across him, it was very easy for her to feel him tense.
"I'm not a 'cuddly person'."
"Why is it so embarrassing to you that you cuddle against people in your sleep? Lots of people do it; I really doubt that one little fact would manage to ruin this aloof Malfoy facade you've crafted."
She should probably have dropped the stupid topic as soon as he'd tensed, but Hermione was tired, and she wanted answers.
"It's not the fact that I'm clingy while I sleep that's the problem!"
Hermione was starting to get fed up with his evasions; she lifted up her head and glared. "Then what is it?" She snapped louder than she'd intended; he was rapidly fraying her temper and soon she was going to snap.
"It's only you!" He snarled, clearly very agitated. "It's only you that makes me do that." His voice was defeated by the time he finished his sentence.
Hermione rested her chin on his chest and stared at him with shock. "Just go to sleep Granger," he sighed, pressing her head once again to his chest.
"I can't! I'm supposed to be monitoring your vital-" He lay a finger against her lips to still their movement.
"Stop talking and listen. Can you not hear my heartbeat and breathing from there?"
She actually could hear his heart beating steadily beneath her ear, and every breath he took whooshed right under her, lifting her head a bit with each inhalation. "There, see? You're monitoring me just fine. Now get some sleep, you look hollow again like you did during the war."
Humming agreement, she pulled herself up until she could rest her nose against his neck. "Don't tell Harry and Ginny, they'll read too much into this," she mumbled. Sleep found her almost instantly.
A hiss jolted her awake some time later. When she cracked an eyelid, the sunlight that was streaming through the window told her that it was nearing noon, which meant she'd been asleep for almost twelve hours.
"Draco, you need to tell the girl why her kiss worked." A voice Hermione recognised as Snape's ordered.
The hissing sound came again as Malfoy shushed his godfather. Hermione was able to open both of her eyes without Malfoy knowing because her face was still nestled under his chin.
"I'll tell her when she's ready to know," Draco growled quietly. "Now leave before she wakes up."
"Fine. I'll leave," Snape snapped with his usual foul temper. "Try not to be stupid enough to Splinch yourself attempting to Apparate home from the bar in the future." With his customary dramatic furl of robes, Snape was gone from the room.
"I know you're awake," Malfoy sighed once Snape had left.
Hermione briefly contemplated feigning sleep, but she didn't want him to attempt to prove that she was faking her slumber – knowing him, he'd probably start insulting her friends until she reacted. "How?" She whispered.
"You lie like a Gryffindor and you feign sleep about as well as you lie. Did you not notice that you stopped breathing when I talked about you waking up?"
Hermione ignored his question – of course she hadn't noticed. She asked one of her own instead. "What is it that I'm not ready to know?"
He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face tiredly. He hadn't looked like he'd recently Splinched himself when she'd been talking to him a moment before, but suddenly he looked exhausted. His facade was ever better than she'd given him credit for if he could hide his exhaustion that well.
"I think you need rest, I shouldn't have stayed here." She told him, not wanting to impede his recovery further. It was obvious that her presence was straining him.
Draco stopped her when she tried to shift her weight off of him to stand and leave. "Don't leave yet, Hermione. I'm fine."
"Draco, you need rest and I can't do this," she sighed, not even noticing that she'd used his first name.
Draco didn't seem to notice that she'd used his first name either, he was a little preoccupied with the ending of her little statement rather than the beginning.
"Why? Because I refuse to tell you something I just told Snape you're not ready to hear?" He demanded angrily.
"That's part of the problem, but there's more to it than that and you know it." She looked up at his face again and something in her snapped. For so long she'd been working to get over him and now here he was again acting like there was nothing wrong, like they'd been dating for a while, when in reality they were just glorified roommates who had gotten a little too close once. Once.
She was so preoccupied with struggling out of his embrace and off the bed that she didn't notice the look of complete bewilderment on his face.
He half sat up and grabbed her wrist, stopping her from fleeing the room. "Granger, what the bloody hell are you doing?"
For the second time that day, Draco caught her off guard by tugging her arm and pulling her right on top of him. "It's like you're trying to reopen wounds that aren't fully healed yet," Hermione grumbled into the blanket covering his chest.
"No, I'm trying to get you to speak to me again."
"I am speaking to you." She snapped, attempting to tug her arm out of his grasp.
"No you're not. You're spitting out vague sentences that don't really make sense and trying to run away. Stop struggling and talk to me."
Hermione obeyed his order and stopped struggling, but she didn't talk. She was unsure what she should say. Her sentences weren't vague, she just couldn't do... whatever it was they were doing anymore. She needed to either forget about him and move on or be with him. This limbo they were suspended in was tearing her apart on the inside, and she couldn't imagine it was good for him – whether he wanted to get into her pants or not.
"Talk to you about what? You've made it abundantly clear that you don't think of me as someone important enough to warrant your presence through an entire dinner."
Draco looked pained but didn't seem to have an answer for her. He'd accuse her of throwing a low blow, but the entire dinner had been way below the belt – in more ways than one. "I'm... sorry about that. It doesn't make it any better, but I can explain. Just..."
Hermione scoffed and got off of him, this time he let her. "Let me guess, I'm not ready to hear that either?"
He nodded, tight-lipped and scowling. Explaining his actions to a woman who was hurt and pissed weren't really his forte... Mostly because he'd never actually bothered before. It had always been easier to just find a new one.
"I don't think it's that I'm not ready to hear all of this. I think you're not ready to tell me." She snapped, fed up with his half answers and insistence that she stay with him whether she wanted to run or not. When she walked out of the room, Draco didn't try to stop her.
