He's got something special
He's got something special
And when he's looking at me, I wanna get all sentimental...
Joanna looked up from her lunch when the obviously familiar Hannah Montana song registered in her head.
"Do you like that song, angel?" I asked her, smiling, and pushing my Pepsi to her when she drained hers.
She nodded and took a sip from my soda. She smiled slightly to herself, and then took a bite from her burger. I grimaced and she laughed.
"Hey, I didn't make you try my burger and drink some Pepsi. That was all you, trying to look normal," she quipped.
"True, but that just looks so disgusting. I can't believe I'm eating dinner tonight. And it's going to be seafood! That's even worse." I pretended to gag for Joanna's amusement, and she giggled.
"Why did you smile when you drank some Pepsi?" I asked her.
She leaned closer to me, and whispered, "Because the straw tasted funny." Then, she smiled. "But then I realized it was just you, 'cause you'd taken a drink from it."
"God, you're just busting on me all the time, aren't you? Do you not love me anymore?" I joked.
"No, I still love you. But I just like to play with you."
I smiled and she grinned back. She held up her cup and tipped it a little towards me. "Want some more?"
"Noooo, thank you," I declined, pushing it and her hand away.
She laughed, throwing her head back. We quieted and I looked out the window, watching the Victoria Clippers come in to dock.
"What do you want to do after this?" She asked me, taking another drink from her soda.
"Whatever you want to do, darlin'. This was for you," I replied, smiling at her sweetly.
She blushed and looked down. I loved that I could do that to her.
"We could go to Pike's Fish Market. I've always wanted to see that," she proposed.
"Sounds good to me, baby," I purred, and reached across the table to stroke her cheek.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I took Joanna's picture with our digital camera, as she held up her new Pike's Market t-shirt. She grinned happily, and then folded the shirt and put it in her bag.
"Where to next, doll?" I asked her.
I had turned to put the camera in my front jean pocket, and when I turned around she wasn't there. I looked down and she was on the ground. I kneeled by her quickly, and she looked up at me with teary eyes.
"What happened, honey?"
She took a shaky breath. "Someone on a bike swerved to miss a car, and they knocked me down," she whimpered.
"Oh, baby, I turned around for one minute," I groaned.
"It's not your fault. I was standing too close to the street," she mumbled, as I helped her up.
"Come here, sweetheart. Let me carry you," I offered, slipping my arms under her back and knees.
She snuggled up to my chest, laying her head down just over my dead heart. I walked back to the car, and sat her in the passenger seat. I buckled her in and kissed her forehead before getting in on the driver's side. She shifted and hissed in pain.
"What hurts?" I asked her anxiously.
"Everything," she moaned, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.
"Oh, sweetie, shh. We're almost back to the hotel," I soothed her.
She sunk down low in her seat, soft sobs racking her tiny body. I reached over and pulled her hand into mine. She gripped it tightly and I brought hers to my mouth. I kissed it lightly, breathing in her warm, human scent.
After I parked, I pulled her into my arms again. I easily maneuvered my way to the elevators and pushed the button to our floor. I kissed her forehead and hushed her soft cries. She sniffled and forced herself to stop crying. She buried her face in my chest and gripped my shirt in her little hand. She mumbled something that I didn't catch.
"What was that, hon'?" I asked her gently.
She didn't answer, and just then the elevator arrived at our floor. I moved quickly down the halls to our room and when I got into our room, I immediately laid Joanna down. Except she wouldn't let go.
"Joanna, please, let go of me," I murmured.
She held on tighter.
I was not for any reason going to get stern or angry with her, that would just make matters worse as always.
"My love, I know you're in pain. But I can only make your pain go away if you lay down for me. Will you do that for me? Please? I'll lay with you and get you something to eat and drink. I'll make everything better if you lay down for just a minute," I coaxed.
She loosened her grip, and I eased her down onto the soft mattress.
"That's it, sweetheart. Shh, I'm right here. I won't leave you," I hushed her, wiping her tears away.
She sniffled and looked up at me. Her face was heartbreaking and I had to purse my lips, lock my teeth together, and tense my muscles up so I didn't a) start crying or b) hold her tight and not let her go.
"What's the. Matter, Jazz?" She choked out.
"Nothing, beautiful. Everything's fine. Now, what do I need to check out?" I replied, leaning up.
"Just everything hurts so bad," she whimpered, swallowing back her tears.
She hated crying with a passion. She despised it.
"No, sugar bear. Cry. I don't care. Baby, just let go," I pleaded.
Her lips trembled as some of her resolve crumbled.
I nodded. "Let go."
She broke down then and there, wailing out unintelligible words. She gasped for a breath and released it in another heartbreaking wail. As her heart broke, mine broke with it. She slammed her fist down on the bed and threw her head back against her pillow. She screamed, ending the horrible sound in a vulnerable and lost sob. She slowly began to calm and her wailing turned to whimpering, her sobs turning to sniffles. She coughed and gagged, lurching upwards.
I touched her back softly as she gagged. She finally settled, and just sniffled up at me. Tears still gushed down her cheeks and she looked exhausted.
I sighed sympathetically, and wiped at her cheeks and eyes. I wiped my hands on my jeans, and moved over to the tiny fridge to retrieve her Sprite. I sat on the bed with her, and stared out the window at Lake Union.
"I love you, Dad," I heard her mumble.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her eyes widen with the realization of what she'd just said. My eyes widened as well, though I continued to look out the window.
"I'm sorry," she stuttered.
"No, don't apologize," I told her.
I realized at this moment, when she called me 'Dad' that I needed to step up and take better care of her. She was, after all, mine and Alice's child. We had adopted her under our name. She was Joanna Vivian Hale as of a month ago today. Her birthday was printed on her birth certificate as July 4th, 1996. I've let her be hurt so many times while she's been with me. What kind of father lets that happen to their daughter? Not a good one, I can tell you that.
"Do you mind that?" She asked me hesitantly.
"Not at all, honey. You can call me whatever you want. I just want you to be happy. I'm sorry that I haven't been very careful with you. You aren't physically strong enough to handle the outside world on your own, and I haven't been there to help you. Please, forgive me," I sobbed.
Joanna was taken by surprise at my sudden breakdown. Only Alice or Joanna could make me break down and sob. I sunk to my knees on the floor and turned to lay my head on the bed. I sobbed out apology after apology and tried to forgive myself for doing this to her.
She didn't know what to do while I cried for her forgiveness.
"Daddy, I–I'm not mad at you," she stumbled over the correct words, afraid to send me into another round of hysterics.
Now that I had gotten her approval, I still had to get mine. But that would never happen.
I felt her tiny, thin hand thread in my hair and she curled up on the edge of the bed against my head.
"I'm not mad at you," she whispered again.
"I know, baby. But I'm mad at myself. I have your approval, but I don't have mine. Now, forgive me for one more thing," I requested.
"Anything."
"Forgive me for breaking down like that."
"Of course."
"I love you, darlin'," I choked.
"I love you too, Dad," she sniffled.
I pulled her into a hug and kissed all over her face and head. She laughed softly, wiping at her eyes. I smiled and kissed her briefly. She cupped her hand around my cheek, smiling contentedly.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Holy shit, this is high up," Joanna stuttered, pressing closer to me.
It's the last day of our trip, and we've both adapted to the whole 'Dad' situation. I wrapped my arm around her waist comfortingly, turning us around so my back was to the outside of the elevator. She stood there, stunningly beautiful in the fuchsia dress she and Alice had picked out, terrified from the height that we were at currently.
"605 ft in the air, Dad. 600! And 5! How did I let you talk me into this?" She worried.
"Love, come here," I murmured, reaching for her.
She stepped into my arms, and laid her head on my chest.
"It's the Space Needle, darlin'. It's been struck by lightning three times in one storm, and it's in Seattle with all this wind. I'm sure that we will be perfectly fine," I soothed her, tilting her head up to look her in the eye. I smiled encouragingly at her and kissed her gently.
She blushed, ducking her head. I chuckled and kissed her head.
---
"Ugh, I'm so full. It hurts," Joanna moaned, but was smiling at me.
I grimaced briefly, before swallowing another bite of steak. Joanna gave me a sympathetic look.
"Don't eat the rest of that, Dad. It doesn't look like you like it too much anyway. And just because you ate that for me, you're not keeping me out of the bathroom with you while you hack it up," she sighed.
"Baby, last time it almost made you throw up," I replied, wiping at my mouth with my napkin.
"Yeah, well, we all have to make our sacrifices. And besides you look and sound so pitiful when you're in there all alone. Last time, because you had hunted earlier, your cheeks were flushed and your hair was all messed up. I couldn't stand to look at you because you wouldn't let me help you," she murmured.
"I don't want you to do that just because I ate something for you. That's not even fair."
"I am, and you can't stop me. And you brought me to Seattle. It costs about the cost of a meal to park for six hours here."
I sighed.
Just let her, if she wants to.
"Fine. But you are way to kind for your own good, angel," I purred, leaning over the table for a kiss.
She smiled and complied. As we both settled in our seats again, our waitress brought our check. She blushed and took the folder back when I immediately sat a black credit card in it. I smiled politely, then turned back to Joanna. She smiled and giggled softly. She loved that I could get girls all flustered and blushing with just the turn of my head.
I finished off the 'e' of my last name with a flourish on the receipt and Joanna peered at my signature. I showed her and she smiled.
"It's pretty!" She crowed happily, grinning.
"I'm glad you think so, my love," I crooned, smiling back.
As we rode back down the elevator, Joanna peered happily out the window. She would occasionally poke me and point something out to me and I would happily comment on it.
I turned around to stare out as well, and rested my large hand gently on the small of her back. She smiled excitedly as she looked up at me. I smiled back, amazed at how I had gotten this child for myself.
Don't hate on Hannah Montana! I like her songs so keep your angry words to yourself!
Now, I hoped you liked it, everyone.
Should I put in the part where Joanna helps our little Jazzy out as he hacks up his dinner? I'd like your opinions. I'm not easily grossed out about bodily functions, and I'm leaning more towards putting it in.
So, for all you easily grossed out. I'll put up notes in bold as to when you can continue reading and when to stop reading.
Review!
Xoxo,
CFD
