India's POV
I stared at my wrists again, as if the thousandth glance would reveal something the other nine hundred and ninety nine hadn't. But they still looked the same as ever. The scars weren't fading, not that I was giving them time to. I was still cutting every day and nothing was able to stop me. I had tried everything, but I still get all the same feelings. It was 9 o'clock in the evening, everyone was still awake, still downstairs. The atmosphere was so happy there and I couldn't relate to it. I just didn't know how to. Not any more. I should have been happy, I finally had what I wanted, a loving family, of sorts. But I just couldn't be. I could hear the laughter from downstairs. I had never felt more alone. I felt a tear trickle down my cheek as I reached for my blade for the second time that day. If anything, I seemed to be getting worse. I dragged the blade across my wrist and made incision after incision, the blood flowing freely from my wrists. I felt myself smiling as I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. This was why I couldn't stop.

When I woke up in the morning I saw the dried blood on my wrist and suppressed a sob as as remembered who I let down, once again. My life was a total mess, and I needed to sort it out. I had a plan, that maybe if I managed to clear my head of some of the problems in it, that I would be able to stop cutting. And to do that I needed to set things straight with a couple of people.

I ran downstairs and grabbed my coat, hurrying off in search of my former boyfriend, Nick. I needed to move on from that part of my life. Close the door, lock it and never return. I found myself back in my old neighbourhood. It seemed odd, and I began to wonder if this was a good idea after all, still, I carried on. I hoped it would help in the long run. I passed my house, and wondered if my parents missed my. I thought not. They were probably glad I was gone, I certainly was. Still, I hid my face as I walked past, there was no way I was going back there.

As luck had it, I spotted Nick and 3 of his friends hanging around in an alleyway, the alleyway that he once knocked me unconscious in after I refused his marriage proposal. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder with one finger. He spun round and looked me up and down.

"Where've you been, bitch" he asked

"Away" I replied simply

"Away where?" he snarled

"Somewhere, and I'm going back there again. I just came to tell you we're over" I said. I was about to turn around and leave when he shouted

"What did you say"

"That we're over" I repeated, slightly less sure of myself.

Suddenly he pushed me up against the wall of the alleyway.

"No one breaks up with me. You can't, even if you wanted to. Your family sold you to me because they hate you, I can't imagine why" He mocked "You know what happened the last time you refused me, don't you"

I nodded weakly, this had definitely not been a good idea.

"Well, you obviously don't remember well enough, so I guess I will have to remind you"

he gestured to his friends who began to advance towards me. They beat me up whilst Nick stood leaning against the opposite wall, his arms folded and texting on his phone. He obviously couldn't care less about me. The pain was nothing to me, I was used to it. It hurt, yes, but I'd dealt with so much pain that it didn't have the same effect any more. Mental pain hurt me so much more than physical pain.

Eventually, they stopped. Foolishly, I assumed it was over. It was far from over, for me anyway. As a last thought, Nick punched me square in the stomach. Normally I would have coped, but the baby made everything so different. I fell to the floor in pain, clutching my stomach, tears rolling down my cheeks. But the real reason I was crying was not because I was hurt, but because I might loose the baby.

…... Please review if you have time...it means a lot :) ~ A x

It's a bit short, but I'll update again tomorrow :)