Chapter 10

~ Frankie ~

I'm not sure how long we've been there at the café when I hear Jane say, "Hey, Dr. Pike."

She motions her head to the elevators and we watch the doctor make his way over. Everyone's still there – Ma, Tommy, Korsak, Maura, the lieutenant, me and Jane.

"So?" the lieutenant asks him as he comes into our circle. "Cause of death?"

He hands his file to Maura and says, "Sui caedere."

"Sui caedere?" Jane asks before the rest of us can.

"Latin," Maura speaks up. "Means 'to kill oneself'… It was suicide, Jane."

"Yes," Pike says, "Dr. Isles did an amazingly thorough job and I fully collaborate with her findings. I did notice something though, which was not mentioned on her report: His fingernails."

"What about them?" Jane asks.

"There was white streaking that often indicates high levels of stress or fatigue. That was the only physical ailment of stress I found though."

"Any drugs, any-?" Jane asks.

"None; totally clean," Pike replies before she says more. "As Dr. Isles points out in her findings, there were no other substances – illegal narcotics or legal pharmaceuticals – in his system at the time of his death. There's no physical indication of addiction prior to his death either. In fact, he was quite healthy – from a physical standpoint. Speaking of, I believe this suicide wasn't a mercy killing of any kind."

"Mercy killing?" I ask.

Pike nods. "He wasn't physical ill to the point that he wished for death. There's no evidence he was suffering in any bodily way," he replies. He then turns to Maura. "Was there anything else that you require, Dr. Isles?"

"No, Dr. Pike. You've been quite helpful, thank you."

"Very well," he tells her. "I can take that report back to Ms. Chang when I collect my things, if you wish."

"No, that's fine. I'll go with you," Maura tells him and motions him back to the elevators. Before she leaves though, she gives Jane's arm a gentle pat as she passes by her.

The silence seems to last a long time once she's gone. No one in the circle seems to know what to say.

"Vanilla?" we hear a voice outside the circle call over.

We turn to see Rondo, one of Jane's informants, make his way over. "I saw the T.V. I wanted to make sure Baby Vanilla was okay." He looks at me and smiles. I have to grin too for a moment…Baby Vanilla. Nice.

He tells her, "They said a young, male cop was dead so I wanted to make sure it wasn't our boy here," he motions toward me.

Jane clears her throat. "It was Frost, my partner."

"Ohhh, I'm sorry. Look, I'll get the word on the street and we'll find out who did-."

She holds up her hand. "It's a suicide. He, uh, he killed himself."

"Why'd he go and do that?" Rondo asks.

"I wish I knew," Jane sighs. She takes a couple of bucks from her pocket and hands them to Rondo. "Have a coffee on me for coming all the way down here," she says. She gives him a forced smile as she backs away from the table. She points skyward and tells no one in particular, "I gotta get upstairs."

I'm not sure what to do. Do I follow? Do I stay? I don't think I can help her with this, but I hate to see her suffer. Yeah, we annoy the hell out of each other. We compete just short of gladiators sometimes. But to see her now…just broken…I'm not sure what I can say. I'm not sure there's anything anyone can do.

I'm on the verge of following her anyway when Korsak says, "I got this…Next time, you're up."

I just nod as he taps my hand in support before following after her.

I know what he means. It's going to take all of us, at different times, to help Jane, and to help each other. At least, it seems that way right now.

It's almost like tag team wrestling – we stay in there and fight the battle of grief until it gets to be too much. Then we let someone else jump in and we rest up for the next fight.

The only thing is… I don't think we'll ever have a 'winner'. I don't think this bout will ever be over. Sure, there'll come a day when it probably doesn't sting as much, but we'll always be scarred by the battle… I wonder if Frost bothered to think about the pain he was leaving behind in his wake.