The return of the Author's Rant: (You asked for it.) The sexy nurse with the pills has quit and left me fixating on the standards of what makes a passable Harry Potter Fanfiction. Lately I've noticed there have been several writers who fail to observe basic fundamentals of writing. Now I'm not going to mention names. What I will say is that certain standards need to be pointed out for the reading enjoyment of all.

First, - this is Fanfiction by that I mean what everyone sees is the written word. That's our medium. You want video then you have to go over to You Tube. Along those lines if you have shall we say thin dialogue, like something from a Clint Eastwood movie, then you can get away with using one words as dialogue because you have the visual background defining the moment and explaining the story. Clint Eastwood had either San Francisco in Dirty Harry or the western landscape in Hang 'Em High. He didn't need to be chatty. He didn't need to explain his inner thoughts or emotions. You could see his face and know that he was about to blow the punk's head off with a 44 Magnum. Now in this medium that doesn't work and if you think it does than you're lazy and your writing stinks. You have to have dialogue or something else that conveys the story.

Second, - Magic. That would be the thing that separates Harry Potter from every other teenage story. In case someone forgot to tell these horrible and pathetic writers. Harry Potter is a wizard. Magic is real in Fanfiction. Feel free to use it.

Third, - location, location, location. True to this medium and the restaurant business is the fact that location matters. If you're at a well-established location like Hogwarts in the Great Hall then you don't need to put in a lot of sentences about the description of the scenery. However, if you're describing a sex scene between Hermione and Ron in let's say… Sydney, Australia then it would help to know if they are doing in a hotel suite or in a truck stop bathroom.

Fourth –- Research. JK Rowling wrote these things called books to help and guide you. Dare to be a good writer by picking one up and reading it. Who knows maybe someone won't write Ron and Hermione's first kiss being anywhere other than in front of the Room of Requirement. Plus it would finally help them to understand Hermione's true motivation of wanting to kiss Ron. The linchpin being, Ron spoke up about protecting the House Elves. So remember reading the books would help all of us readers from SPEW-ing all over our computer screens.

Fifth –- Learn how to write something longer that a fortune cookie. This one goes without saying. I'm not a fan of authors' who have only the courage to write a one chapter story.

Lastly, stop reviewing crappy writers, me included, with undeserved praise. Personally, I have a simple policy when it comes to reviews. I make it a point to leave flames and praises alone so long as they've read the story in its entirety. (By entirety I mean being up to the last chapter posted.) Be tough on us otherwise we'll never improve.


Beta's Note: We are building towards exciting business, people. Also, Ron is obviously acting out. How would you feel if your sister and best friend talked to your girlfriend about her plans to break up with you? I would personally be pissed. Which makes Ron's paralysis of Harry pretty reasonable to me. Also, hilarious.


Chapter 11: A new day

"Groan."

Ron ignored the moaning coming from his couch as he started to read the morning paper at his kitchen table.

Rabastan Lestrange Captured!

"Numerous Magical Law Enforcement personnel including famed Senior Auror Harry Potter, Auror Neville Longbottom, and Auror Rupert Wheat conducted a secret raid shortly before 9:30pm yesterday based on a confidential sighting of the current whereabouts of wanted Azkaban escapee, Rabastan Lestrange.

Following previously made inquiries they went to Blackpool, Lancashire County, where they cordoned off an area on Keswick Road for a search that led to the discovery of a man in the middle of the street. The man has been formally identified as wanted Azkaban escapee and suspected Death Eater, Rabastan Lestrange.

He was arrested on suspicion of multiple Murders, Torture. Unlawful Escape, Sedition and Resisting Arrest from the Ministry. He remains in Auror custody in Azkaban pending trial. He is expected to stand trial tomorrow afternoon inside the Ministry, Aurors said."

"Wheat? I told that miserable little git it's W-e-a-s-l-e-y… should've made him spell it back to me," Ron growled at the newspaper headline, as he thought about the mealy mouth chimp reporter named Mark. He remembered his name because the git spelled his first name back to him in reply. "My name is M-a-r-k and I'm from the Daily Prophet where we know how to spell."

"Stupid git."

"Groannn!"

"Oh shut up Harry!" Ron growled at his best mate who was struggling to break free of the Petrify curse.

"Rooonnn," moaned Harry, this time calling him by name.

He continued to ignore Harry as he angrily looked down at the front page to see a moving picture of Harry in the center clearing a path while Neville, and he were on each arm of Lestrange. The problem being whereas you could clearly see a shouting Harry ordering the press to step aside and a determined Neville giving a wounded and betrayed Lestrange a death look. His face was almost completely covered up by another photographer's wizard camera. You could barely make out that someone was on Lestrange's right holding his arm and a small fleeting glimpse of that someone having shaggy red hair. That was all you could see of him.

"It's a bloody conspiracy," Ron griped aloud about never getting credited for anything in the press.

"Fame is an empty promise, Mr. Weasley."

"What?"

Ron looked around the kitchen and then in the living room to see who said that and was surprised to find the portrait of Albus Dumbledore was occupied and actually he was the one talking to him. When he first moved in years ago he hung Professor Dumbledore's portrait in a place of honor in his living room. After getting hung on the wall the Professor stood up, politely bowed, and left the portrait empty but his high chair. The entire time since he thinks he only saw him return once when Harry had stopped over for supper and Wizard's chess.

"Professor Dumbledore?" Ron asked doubtful that after so many years the portrait Dumbledore is actually talking to him in his own flat.

"Yes Mr. Weasley," replied Professor Dumbledore sitting on his high chair in his portrait.

"Is there something you want Professor?" Ron inquired as he couldn't think of what else to say in the form of introductory pleasantries.

"No, no, no… just on my way to the Owl Emporium. Understand from Hagrid that there are some new arrivals from the Himalayans. A beautiful blue Himalayan Phoenix to be precise."

"Sounds… interesting," commented Ron as he thought how barmy the portrait of Professor Dumbledore was to the real Professor.

"Ronnn, I'mm going … to kill youu!"

Ron looked over to his couch to see Harry struggling to get off it.

Pop!

Ron turned his head and watched as a new visitor Apparate into his flat. It was a worried Ginny wearing a beige London trench coat and she was frantically searching the room.

"Ron, have you seen… HARRY! What are you doing here?" Ginny questioned then shouted to Harry who had managed to fall off his couch.

"Owww. Ronn … did this to me." Harry snitched, as he lay on the wooden living room floor.

A surprised and clearly angry Ginny looked over at him for his explanation as she tried to help a still dazed Harry up off the floor.

Ron straightened his back up and resolutely told his incensed sister and best mate why he did what he did. "Harry was planning to come over to see you last night, right after Neville proposed to Hannah. No telling what he would've done."

Ron watched as understanding then pure murderous anger swept over Ginny's face.

"HOW COULD YOU?"

"Oh I thought I was helping you two," Ron lied to them as he pulled out his wand from his Auror robes. "Figured you two could use a - break."

He pointedly finished with what they had said after interfering in his love life with Hermione.

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT INTERFERING IN MY LOVE LIFE, RONALD WEASLEY!" Ginny roared at him.

"Bloody hell, you're right Ginny. I can see your point of view. It's nobody business to interfere with anyone else's' personal love life. Hmmm, wish someone had bloody thought of that when I was dating Hermione."

With that Ron Apparated out of his flat leaving behind a couple of people whom he hoped got the underlying message.


One of the unwritten rewards of being an Auror was when you pinch a most wanted perp off the streets, you can take the next day off. The Ministry didn't officially acknowledge it but it's an Auror's tradition that Ron religiously observed. With that in mind he didn't go directly to the Ministry but to 93 Diagon Alley instead.

As he strolled past the busy shops on Diagon Alley he looked up to see a glowing sign that read, "Feeling blue… then try rainbow taffy. Why feel one color when you can feel all the colors."

He smirked with the knowledge that George had listened to him about trying out the new candy.

As he opened the door to Weasleys' Wizards Wheezes; he immediately noticed the shop was half empty. Only a few children and adults were shopping in the Wildfire Whiz-bangs firework section and the WonderWitch product section. Verity, George's cashier, looked rather glum about the lack of business as she could only offer a weak smile of recognition to him. As much as he hated to admit it, the place wasn't as fun and exciting as it once was when Fred was still alive. George just seemed to be going through the motions with the business.

"George?" Ron called, to the back of the shop.

"I'm back here, Wheat."

He rolled his eyes and entered into the back office knowing full well that George had read the Daily Prophet and the misspelling of his name.

"Bloody chimp reporter. I even spelled it out for him," griped Ron, as he noticed a tired looking George behind a stack of bills and paperwork.

Running a joke shop business required more paperwork than even what Percy saw on his desk at the Ministry. Poor George seemed to be a fish out of water when it came to that end of the business. He was the manufacturer and the marketing genius to Fred's organization, planning, and creative thinking.

"Just more proof that you're wasting your time over there. Risk your life and get what for it, I ask you?"

Ron hated to admit it, especially after years of arguing with George that he was meant to be an Auror. He was having a harder time of it convincing George that this was what he was meant to do. The pay was bloody lousy, he was never home and if he had been then maybe… just maybe he wouldn't have lost … Hermione.

"I know that look," interjected George into his thoughts. "Still holding out hope that Hermione will come racing back to you. Ah that's cute little brother."

"Shut up George… we're just taking a break."

Ron said it without really thinking whether it was true or not. He hoped that it was.

"Haha, let me tell you something about women, Ron," George boasted as he tilted back in his office chair. "Woman don't take breaks. Oh they say it's a break, but it is not a break. All it is - it's them breaking you down."

Merlin, why does everybody have to get involved in my personal life? Ron thought as he sat down on a chair facing George's desk.

"Oh they like to play innocent. Like a grindylow just sitting in the weeds… waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike some poor unsuspecting sap-"

This from a man that is completely wrapped around Angelina's finger, Ron thought, as George continued on with his relationship advice.

"I'm not a sap."

"That's what they like you to think! But don't think… no… don't you ever think… like a grindylow, Ron, just like grindylow. I'm telling you."

"How's the business," Ron inquired, as George wasn't making any sense.

George exhaled as he looked at all the bills on his desk and then back at Ron. To Ron he looked lost and tired.

"Not good as it should be. We need to market our business better, start expanding, and hire some more employees."

"Then do it, George. What are you waiting for?"

"Hey sawdust for brains does it look like I have the time to do all of that and this pile of rubbish too? I barely have time to see Angelina on the weekends much less figure out which invoice goes to which order."

George looked even glummer.

"I have a free morning and I can spot you a few hours," Ron volunteered. George smiled a real smile and Ron was pleased he could help his older brother.

After a few hours of billing, inventory and numerous annoying discussions on women did Ron finally get to the fun part of discussing new inventions and magical items that they could sell.

"Why can't we sell something that gets rid of Gnomes. Like a skunk bomb that only a Gnome can smell. That could sell really well during the spring and the fall," Ron suggested, remembering his hours spent degnoming his mum's garden.

"I don't think they smell… I saw a few of them stealing Ginny's shoes one time and you know how much her feet stink," George replied, as he scrunched up his nose.

"Oh… okay maybe a fake mushroom… that they stick to and you have to use a bat to knock them off. Or even better a muggle golf club. We could call it … Gnome teeing, or Gnome driving range. What do you think?"

"Sounds interesting… so have you started dating other birds yet." George asked, tilting his remaining ear in Ron's direction.

"No… I just…"

As if eyeing an opportunity George offerred a quick suggestion, "Angelina knows this really fun girl from-"

Ron immediately interrupted, "I'm not dating anyone. So NO!"

"—Lancaster. Oh so you'd rather stay home alone and read about Hermione dating?"

"She can date whomever she wants. And no, I don't read about her!" This time Ron knew he was lying. "I'm not going to date anyone… just yet. I need to concentrate on tracking down and arresting Umbridge. Then I'll start … dating."

That last part, dating, had the same appeal of jumping into an frozen ice pond for swimming lessons.

"Little brother, face the music. You're in a dead-end job with no money and no girlfriend. If you won't leave the ministry, then at least start dating to getting a new girlfriend."

Ron said nothing but he knew what George was saying was true. Painfully true. Bloody heart-stabbing true.


A/N: Please review.