Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, but could I create some of Sanji's recipes sometime?

Chapter Summary: Read the title of the chapter (0_0)\
Warnings: ZoLu, demon and devil slaughter, lots of swearing, innocently cute Luffy, and those plot clues!

KittyLuffy: *panting* So, was it any faster than last time?
Sanji: *with a timer* By one day...
Usopp: I guess it's a little faster.
KittyLuffy: YEAH! *does a Chopper happy dance*
Vivi: Okay, to the comments! VampireApple is first.
Sanji: Hmm... the chapter title sounds pretty interesting, so I think the chapter will be too.
KittyLuffy: One of my favorites! And Zoro meeting Zoro? *smiles*
Usopp: I was confused too, I. Michaela. Then KittyLuffy said this:
KittyLuffy: Read this chapter and you will understand - I hope.
Sanji: Neko11-swan! Thank you for the hug! Can I be your best friend too?
Vivi: (Run Neko11!)
KittyLuffy: Nezkov Sou, you had a lot of questions. All good questions, except for the comment "Sanji said the devil was a fake Zoro". Devil Zoro doesn't have a denden mushi (because he is too poor). And yay for your chapter 6!
Vivi: Now, let us all read Chapter 8. It is bound to please one of us... *glances at Usopp*


Love Below Heaven

Chapter 8: The Damn Rent

"Damn," the Demon Devil said as he sliced a pack of demons into multiple pieces, "won't you guys just give up already?" The last of the beasts growled and bared its fangs. "I don't care."

The demon turned on its heel and ran back through the forest, but the devil was close behind. The Demon Devil actually did care if the monster went and got more of its buddies to try to kill him. He still wasn't in the mood for slaughtering more than fifty things a day, be they demons, devils, or trees (by accident).

Finally, the devil caught up with the beast and off its head flew, bouncing into a bush and rolling to a sloppy stop. It wasn't dead yet, so the Demon Devil sheathed two of his blades and took the third from his mouth. The bleeding head whimpered one last time before the bloody blade flashed in the sunlight and skewered the demon. The green-haired devil closed his eyes and listened for the sounds of anything attempting to come towards him or run. After nothing made a single noise, he shook his red sword clean before sheathing it.

His gold earrings swung as he turned his head from side to side, searching for anything to tell him where he was. There was a tree on his left, a tree on his right, a bush in front of him, and a bush behind him. The devil swore quietly as he chose to go left, just because the tree was a little bigger than the one on his right.

As he trudged along, the Demon Devil glared up at the sky. The sun was shining red as it always had. The fun thing about that was the fact you could stare directly at the crimson orb for hours without ever having to worry about going blind. Sniffing for familiar scents, the air was stale with the stench of blood and something else. No way could it be the stench of the witch.

"You lost again, Demon Devil?" It was the witch. The Demon Devil glanced in the direction of the voice, but didn't stop walking. "Don't be like that," the voice whined.

"I will be like that," the devil growled back.

"Neither of you fear, the Devil Among Devils is here to save you!"

"Can it, Usopp," the two previous voices growled. The Demon Devil went straight up to the bush the third speaker was hiding in and pulled that devil out by his wavy horns.

"Ow, ow, ow! No need to do that!"

"Why are you hiding?"

"Because I was afraid you might kill me?"

"You have no right to be a devil."

"Hell-o! Pay attention to me too," the she-devil said, tapping her heeled foot in the bloody dirt, now in plain sight.

"Right. Stay there while I kill this weakling."

"Eek! Save me, Nami!"

"I thought you were the famed Devil Among Devils."

"I am, just not when it comes to you, Demon Devil."

"How did I even get that name?"

"Oh, just ask your chest about that." The Demon Devil did what the she-devil commanded and couldn't even see his own chest it was caked in so much blood.

"I see."

"I thought you would. Now, there is something I would like to see." Nami held out a claw and flapped her wings with impatience. The Demon Devil stared up at the sun again and acted like he didn't notice the hand waving near his face. Finally, the said hand grabbed his un-earringed ear and began to pull violently. "Listen here, Zoro! If you want to live, pay the damn rent on time! You owe me for last month too you know!"

"Ow, I get it! Let go!"

"Not until you pay the damn rent!"

"I don't have the money right now to pay the damn rent!"

"Oh yes, you better have the money for the damn rent!"

"Have Usopp pay my damn rent!"

"He still needs to pay his damn rent!"

"Oi! I still have to pay my rent!"

"It's the DAMN rent!"

"I don't like swearing!"

"We don't give a damn!"

The three bickered until everything was straightened out. Usopp would pay for his rent for this month and Zoro's damn rent for last month, Zoro would pay for his damn rent this month, and Nami would not charge either of them for the terrible time she had trying to find Zoro as he got himself more and more lost in the forest he had lived in for at least ten years.

"Jesus," Nami sighed as she finally let go of Zoro's ear, "that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"You bitchy money-miser!"

"Don't make her angry again, Zoro. I don't wanna pay double."

"Good idea. Long-nosed Liar, you now owe double."

"DAMMIT!"

"Now you swear."

"There's reason to!" Usopp slumped to the ground with comical depression, numbers filtering out of his mouth as he counted how much money he was going to owe the red-haired she-devil. "34… 23… 42… 11,000."

"Stop counting and just make it a flat 15,000 belis," Nami said, giving her orange hair a casual flip.

"But that's like a thousand more than I need to pay!"

"Only a thousand? Well then, make it 20,000." The Devil Among Devils passed out twitching. The other two were going to leave him there, but he made a quick recovery and latched onto Zoro's arm.

"Hey Demon Devil, buddy, don't strand me in the middle of the forest all alone. You must know this place like the back of your hand, but I don't."

"He doesn't even know the palm of his hand," Nami sighed with a flutter of her bat wings.

"I do. It's just like yours."

"Are you comparing my delicate lady's hand to your stupid man claw?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Another fight started as the three ended up passing the vineyard owned by the rich she-devil who liked to travel to and from her mansion in the mountains and her country home in the town.

"Oi, you two, we've reached a landmark."

"Huh? Oh, it's Robin's house. She sent me a letter recently. She said she's coming to visit next week!"

"I've never seen her, and don't wanna."

"Don't be such a closed off bastard, Zoro."

"Witch, I don't want you to even tell her my name if she's just like you."

"I haven't and I still won't! We have better things to talk about. Like her really weird purple-haired friend for example."

"Do you mooch off of her too?"

"No I don't! Fuck you!"

"Well, go fuck yourself!"

"Guys, do you ever not fight?"

"You damn wish!"

The quarreling continued and Usopp was lost to it all. The two had so many swear words, he wondered if they were lost too. He peered around as they trudged along this road and that, wondering how nothing could possibly think to not attack them. He didn't want demons or other devils to pounce, oh no, but it was quite odd for the lunchtime brigade of demons not to show up on the roads. Even the usual devils, with bounties on their heads, weren't charging at them.

Eventually, the three reached a spot on the gravel road that branched into three parts. Usopp and Nami went one way and Zoro was about to choose between the other two when Nami pointed to the middle road.

"Zoro, you have to go that way if you wanna stay on your daily rounds," she suggested. Waving to the left lane she started walking, "That one just leads you home, but I don't think you wanna go there." Zoro smelled a lot of different scents coming from the left road and half of them were devils, a bad ratio of 1 to 1.

"Nami," Usopp tugged on Nami's tank top strap, "Zoro's going home." Nami turned around, her face raging and her fangs sharp.

"Zoro, you bastard! Get back to your rounds and kill people so you can take their money!" Zoro didn't stray from the left path. "Did you hear me? Fine then, I'm coming for your payment tomorrow!"

"Damn the damn rent!" Zoro called, taking a left at the next fork in the road.

"Damn you!" Nami shouted back, turning on her heel and heading for home. Usopp followed her, wondering why the fight had ended earlier than it usually would have.

Zoro slashed through a set of eight demons that had been waiting to pounce on him for a long while. He still couldn't see his hut when another wave lashed out at him, their teeth wanting blood and their bellies wanting lunch. Then he could see a snippet of his roof, or something on it.

A devil with unkempt blonde hair, dressed in a shabby navy blue coat was using a pike of sorts to try and punch a hole in the reinforced roof. His tongue was lolling out of his mouth and he seemed to be laughing like a maniac. Other devils, probably his minions, were trying a pry bar to the front door, most likely the back door too. More demons were on the lookout for the Demon Devil as well, making the house like a one-person-slaughter-nightmare, but to Zoro, it was just a nuisance.

"There he is!" the person on the roof screamed when he looked away from his strange work.

The pry bar people saw the Demon Devil coming at them, all three swords at the ready. They jumped away from the door and brought out multiple types of small weapons. Blow darts, grenades, guns, and even nunchucks. In a matter of seconds, all of them were somehow on the ground bleeding, screaming, or just plain dead. Only the demons who had chickened out and the guy who had yet to get off the roof were left.

"Hello, Demon Devil," the blonde said, hopping off the roof like it was the easiest thing in the world, "I have come for your head."

"My head?" Zoro asked, raising an eyebrow, "Yours has a much higher price, Bellamy the Hi-something."

"Hyena! It's Bellamy the Hyena!"

"Whatever, just wanna die now?"

"No! Let me speak." Zoro took his sword from his mouth and sheathed all three blades; this was going to be a long speech, wasn't it? Bellamy took off his coat and threw it on the ground, revealing a startling pink shirt.

"I have come for your head, Demon Devil. It feels like we've met before – wait(!) it is because our bounty posters have been around so long and we have yet to be captured."

"I can kill you right now if that's what you want," Zoro commented bluntly.

"Shush." Bellamy droned on and on, about his life, about the lives of his minions, and even about the lives of some of the devils he had so mercilessly killed. Finally, the monologue-ing ended and Zoro finished yawning. "So, Demon Devil, is it really true you have cursed royal blood running through your veins? Or is it just a myth?" Bellamy glanced at Zoro's house and laughed.

"Can it, bastard."

"I didn't even say anything. Is it just me or does the prince have the poorest looking house in all of Hell?"

"Since I don't know any princes, I couldn't tell you."

"You want to fight Bellamy the Hyena?"

"Like ten minutes ago."

"Then let's fight, Demon Devil!" Before Bellamy could start his annoying laugh again, Zoro had already sliced him in half. He hated show-offs who took their mind off the battle the second they tried to scare their opponent. Zoro didn't wait for the blonde to hit the ground before he was fumbling in his pocket for the keys to his house. He found them and hurriedly opened the front door to find a scene his gut instinct had guessed would be there.

There had been devils at his back door and they had gotten past the lock. Now they were all pulling on a leg poking out from under Zoro's bed. Once they saw the Demon Devil, his eyes glowing blood red with rage, they dropped the limb and took out their weapons. A pocketknife, dual knives, and a …wristwatch? The devil with the watch hurled it and searched in his pocket for an actual weapon. He was about to take out a smoke bomb when his arm was severed off. Crying out in pain, he slumped to the floor and, as a blade came through his chest, collapsed on top of the leg still showing itself. The limb flinched and disappeared under the bed, out of the way of an oncoming puddle of blood forming around the newly skewered devil.

The other two turned to run, hoping their comrade would be the only one to lose his life, but Zoro was set on their deaths as well. He leaped over the dead body and followed them to the back door that they couldn't pry open fast enough. Their blood splattered onto the pages of some books that had been lying out, only because Zoro was too lazy to put them away.

"Don't move from under the bed," Zoro commanded, getting no response. With a sigh, he grabbed a broom that was leaned up against the wall and swept out the dead bodies as if they were dust. Once they had all been rolled out the back door, Zoro got down on his knees and found his little straw-hatted angel peering back at him with tears on his cute cheeks.

"Zoro," he squeaked, "they knocked and I told them you weren't home. Then they started attacking the house when I said I wasn't allowed to open the door."

"Didn't I tell you to be quiet when I wasn't home?"

"I was, but then they came. They knocked and sounded really nice. One even said he was a friend of yours."

"Don't tell me… in Heaven everyone is harmless."

"No, not everyone. Vivi got really angry at me when I tried to eat her favorite romance navel."

"I think you mean novel, but, if you do mean navel, I don't even want to know." Zoro was going to stand up again, but the angel reached over from his spot under the bed and grabbed a pant leg.

"Zoro, help me. I think I'm stuck." Tug. Tug. "Zorooooooooo."

"Okay, okay." Zoro got down again and grabbed the outstretched arms that extended out to him. Pulling the angel from under the bed was a harder task than it would have seemed. They were at it for at least twenty minutes before the white-winged being popped from the floor and landed on Zoro's chest. Luffy sat up and innocently straddled Zoro's body under him while he reached up with his hands and stretched, shrinking his wings with ease.

"Mmmmm. That was a very tight spot."

"Never. Go. Under. There. Again."

"I won't," Luffy laughed and gripped his hat while he fell backwards onto Zoro's legs as the Demon Devil tried to sit up. The green-haired devil grumbled as he went to take hold of one of the angel's scrawny legs to move him off, but instead wrapped a claw around the gold anklet.

"What's this?"

"Oh, it's my item."

"Item?"

"Yeah, what I have a contract with to shrink my wings." Luffy pointed to his back, which was wingless at that moment in time.

"I see. I have something like that too," Zoro replied, pointing to his three golden earrings.

"All of them?"

"No, just the middle one."

"What are the other two for?"

"Aren't you a nosy little thing."

"No, just a hungry one." Zoro froze from his position getting off the floor. Angels ate things? He had heard they never needed food because they never felt hunger like devils. Then again, his little angel was capable of 180-degree mood swings.

"Wh-what do angels eat?"

"Um… almost anything. I'll show you!" Luffy got up from the floor and headed for the front door.

"Wait right there!" Zoro cried, jumping and tackling the smaller boy to the floor.

"Huh? What is it?"

"You can't go outside like that. Never mind, you can't go out in general."

"What? Why not?"

"Because," Zoro answered simply, dragging Luffy across the floor and tossing him on the bed like a pillow. Luffy bounced and landed on his back, a frown on his face. He wasn't allowed to leave. No, he wanted to go outside and get food. Time to use the thing he hadn't used in a while. Turning to face the devil and sitting on his knees, he brought out the thing no one in Hell could possibly be prepared for.

"Buuuuuuuuut," Luffy whined, eyes growing big and sparkly, "I wannnnna goooooo." Zoro shut his eyes, but could still see the blinding light.

"What are you doing?" What was this strange POWER the angel was trying to use on him?

"Zoroooooooo, I wanna go outsiiiiiiiiiiide!"

"No, you can't. And stop whatever the Hell you're doing!" The light faded and the puppy eyed angelic pout turned into a regular one.

"Aw, why not? I'll be good and not talk to anyone."

"That's not the problem," Zoro replied, opening his eyes and glaring at the ebony-haired boy. Luffy cocked his head to the side and his halo followed suit, making him look funnier than he should have. What's up with this angel? Zoro asked himself.

Luffy was still dressed in the same thing he had been in when he came through the portal in Angel Zoro's house: just his boxers. He had spent half a day, wet and cold, all alone and defenseless, in Hell. He hadn't even the decency to wrap himself in a blanket. Be it under other circumstances, Zoro would have jumped Luffy and made him submit there on the spot, but for now he had a different idea.

Rummaging through a small box that had been hidden under a pile of rust-colored shirts yet to be washed, Zoro searched for something he had actually used once already. Pulling it out once he found it, he turned back to the oblivious angel who was flapping his white wings happily. It was adorable, but the Demon Devil took a deep breath.

"Angel."

"Hmm? Me?"

"Yes, you. Could you put your leg out for me? The one with that contract item of yours?"

"Like this?" Luffy gingerly stuck out his way in such a scandalous fashion Zoro almost had his own blood covering his chest.

"Sure, sure, like that." Zoro came up to the bed and clutched the ankle. Luffy heard a click and when the claws were gone, there was something attached to his gold anklet. "Now where should I lock this?" the Demon Devil mumbled, searching the room for something that would make sense. Seeing nothing, he just held it in his hand and hunted again.

"A chain?" Luffy asked, touching the silver chain that didn't make any sense in his mind.

"Yeah," was the reply. Luffy heard another click and crawled to the edge of the bed to see the other end of the chain being locked onto a back bed leg, farthest away from both doors. "There."

"Huh?"

"You are now chained to my bed." Zoro said slowly, finding many things kinky about that sentence. Poor angel, bondage and now chains. Next it would be something like erotic clothes or something, right?

"But, I wanna go outside." Zoro realized the angel had a thicker skull than was imagined.

"You can't," the devil pointed at Luffy with a claw, "if you do, there's a 100%, no, 120% chance you'll die."

"Die?" The black-haired boy looked taken aback.

"Yes, so I have fixed you to my bed." That sounded so horrible. It went right over Luffy's halo as he began to pout again.

"I'm hungry and I wanna go outside with Zoro."

"I'll get you food, but you can't come. Just tell me what you eat."

"I wanna–" Zoro couldn't take the whining, it was so damn annoying! He tromped up to the bed and glared at Luffy with all his might. Like he thought, it didn't do a thing, so plan two was applied. The Demon Devil climbed on the bed and pinned Luffy down. It still didn't do a thing, so onto plan three.

"Remember when we had a little fun the first time you came here?"

"Fun? No, I would remember if something was –" Zoro tried not to sweat-drop.

"Okay. So it wasn't any fun for you. Remember when I blindfolded you?"

"Oh. Yeah, that time wasn't any fun a–"

"YES. THAT. TIME. Now, when I touched you here," Zoro said through gritted teeth, putting his knee between Luffy's legs, "do you remember what happened?" Luffy's eyes widened and he gave a small gasp. He blushed. Zoro opened his mouth to continue, but Luffy's mouth opened hastily.

"You told me you wouldn't love me anymore!" Zoro couldn't take it. Dropping down on Luffy, he lay there as the angel tried to push him off. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Zoro's hand came up like a viper and in one swift motion Luffy's face was in his possession. "You are my toy," he growled, "understand? Toys listen to their masters, correct?" Within the devil's grasp Luffy gave a small nod. Zoro seemed really horrifying at that moment and the angel didn't want to make it worse (not that he hadn't already).

"Sowwy, Master." Zoro got a hard-on instantly from that. Finally, all the factors mixed together to equal the perfect naughty scene – which he couldn't have! Zoro got off the angel and left the house before Luffy saw how red his face was.

After getting himself lost in four seconds flat, without his swords, the Demon Devil swore loudly. "Shit! Where am I and what do angels eat?"


Nami landed down with a soft thump. It was five in the morning, the perfect time to get the damn rent money from Zoro, right before he left the house and got himself lost. The ginger-haired she-devil laughed quietly to herself as she thought to charge him extra for each dead body she saw rotting in front of the house. 1… 4… 9… wow.

Next, Nami took out her master key. It was the one key that she could open any door to any house she owned, which was seven houses. Of course, she had her own fairly large house, but she never counted it because it wouldn't make her any money. Usopp rented a house, Zoro rented one, Kaya rented one, Koza rented one, and the rest were guesthouses rented out for more than the monthly price. Nami always made sure Kaya paid the least and Usopp the most, just because it made for the best investing. But now she had to collect the damn rent from Zoro.

Silently opening the door, she gazed at the bed. A sizable lump was under the covers snoring quietly. It rolled over with a small grunt and scooted down in the blankets so it was fully covered. Nami sighed and put her hands on her hips; Zoro was awake and trying to hide from her huh? That would cost him extra!

The she-devil slammed her fist down on the lone coffee table and waited for Zoro to sit up. When he didn't, Nami clopped over the head of the bed and pulled on the covers. They were stuck fast and someone groaned. Frustrated that anyone would defy her for this long, she kept tugging.

"Zoro, you bastard! You need to pay the damn rent!" Finally the blanket came away to reveal, not Zoro, but a certain black-haired something. Nami gasped and leaped back, hitting the wall as she did so. The oddity pulled the covers back over naked shoulders and mumbled something while turning away from her, still asleep. It was definitely not Zoro.

"Shit!" Nami turned and saw Zoro with his arms full of the most random, yet easy to find, plant foods in the area. The orange-haired she-devil stared at him, then the person in the bed, and then back at him. Pointing at the being in the bed with a shaking finger, Nami opened her mouth and let the words fly.

"Dammit Zoro! Get your perverted items out of the fucking house before I come! I do not want to see whores here!"

"He's not a whore, you bitch!"

"A he? You do boys now?"

"Shut it!"

"I will not! Just kill him and spare me the nightmares!"

"Hmm? Zoro?" The two devils were silent and looked to a lump on the bed. The covers slipped off and there sat a dazed and shirtless Luffy, still wearing nothing but his boxers. He stretched and looked around the room, seeing a new figure in the room that shouldn't have been there. Slowly, the angel re-covered himself with the blanket and whispered, "I'm not here. Don't mind me."

Nami shook with rage. What the Hell was Zoro trying to pull? She made a claw pose with both her hands and walked up to the bed, ready to rip the covers away without another thought. But Zoro noticed something before she did.

"Look out!" Nami was hit in the face by the blanket she was going to pull off. She crashed to the ground and was unable to see the white wings that had shot out of the black-haired boy's back. Zoro dropped the food he was still holding and silently motioned for Luffy to put his wings way, fast. He nodded and did so, arranging his legs to sit cross-legged on the bed.

Nami was still having trouble unlatching her wings from the blanket, but Zoro wouldn't help her, couldn't help her. Searching the room, he ran into the bathroom and grabbed a roll of floss. Breaking off a piece he thought was long enough, he ran and tackled the angel, covering a surprised mouth with a claw. Tying the floss to the halo floating above Luffy's head, the devil heard Nami get up from the floor and dropped the string.

"What the Hell do you think you'd doing Zoro? Right in front of me? I do not want to see a morning fuck between you and a damn guy prostitute." Nami held her brow as she felt a headache coming on. She glanced around the room until her eyes rested on a tipped over chair. Going over to it and righting the thing, the she-devil sat down with a sigh. Nami didn't even want to peek at the sight she imagined was happening on the bed, so she turned her head towards the blood-covered front door and just stared at that.

Zoro, who hadn't moved, began fumbling with the floss again. He secured it to a clump of hair in the back part of Luffy's head, successfully making it look like the halo was a fake. No devil or demon had a halo, so if he was able to make it look like a perverted desire… oh, this wasn't going to end well for him. Finally, he got off of Luffy and went to go get his money to pay the damn rent.

When Nami heard the back door to the house open and close, she expected the whore to be gone, dead, and being disposed of out in the yard somewhere. Instead, when she turned her head to look at the bed, Luffy sat there, playing with the floss that had been attached to his hair. Nami stared in wonder, getting up from her seat and knocking it back over as she neared the being.

Zoro came in with a bag and a paper and saw that Nami looked like she was going to pounce again. He dropped the sack, but he still was not in time.

"CUTE!" Nami shouted, grabbing the black-haired boy in a hug that instantly cut off his source of air. Luffy twitched as Nami took him off the bed and swung him around. "YOU ARE SUCH A CUTE PROSTITUTE! CAN I BUY YOU?"

Zoro let out a sigh and picked up his bag. Nami wasn't going to kill the angel; good.

"Zo… ro," Luffy rasped, feeling the last of his air leave his body.

"Nami, I think you're killing him. He's a bit different from you, so he doesn't have the lung span to block your bitchy 'cuteness hug'."

"Huh?" Nami let Luffy go and he flopped to the floor like a rag doll, gasping for breath, "Oops. Sorry, Sweetie." There was no reply, so Nami gazed at the bag Zoro had in his hand. She mentally smelled money. Mazing through the cluttered room, Nami stopped in front of the Demon Devil with an open claw.

"I have the damn rent right here."

"I can see that. I'm not stupid."

"True, you actually have a brain under those horns."

"Of course I do, I'm not sure about you though. Now pay up."

"Here." Zoro handed Nami the bag and she squealed in delight. She was about to open it when Zoro stopped her with words. "Wait, there's a paper that goes with it."

"A paper?" Nami asked, taking the paper from the other devil. On it was a picture of Bellamy the Hyena. Right below that was a bounty price of – Nami shrieked with happiness. "In here is the head of Bellamy?"

"Yeah, killed him yesterday when I came home."

"And to think I thought you were going to slack off! You've done well."

"It cost me ten minutes of his babbling though."

"Zoro, I'm hungryyyyyyy," a whine broke in.

"Right, right," Zoro answered, picking the angel off the ground and carrying him over to the floor where all the food had dropped. They never reached it. The chain did a great job stopping the little angel from getting to the door. Nami eyed the silver chain with interest.

"You've chained the prostitute to your bed?"

"He's not a prostitute," Zoro gave an exasperated sigh, throwing the weeping angel back on the bed and picking up the dropped food, "Just a damn unruly toy is all."

"Toy?"

"Oh, hello," Luffy waved at the she-devil, "I'm Zoro's toy." Nami paled and she bore holes into Zoro's back.

"What did you do to brainwash this cutie?"

"Nothing, he came like that."

"Sweetie, did he do something to you? Something you didn't like?"

"Well, he –" Zoro stuffed into Luffy's open mouth every food single item he had picked up.

"Zoro! Are you trying to choke him? Don't tell me you have something to hide!"

"I do, so I am. You have your damn rent money, so get out of my house!"

"Is that the way you treat a lady?"

"As if you were a lady!"

"She's a very pretty lady. Is your name, Lady?"

"My name is Nami and I think I'm going to confiscate you from this big, bad Demon Devil before he kills you." Luffy giggled and Nami swooned.

"Zoro wouldn't kill me. He loves me." The she-devil's face returned to normal and she grabbed Luffy by his halo.

"Zoro," she said a-matter-a-fact-ly, "doesn't love anyone. Whatever he did to put that thought in your innocent little head I shudder to think of, but it's not really love. He's just a lonely old Demon Devil with a perverted mind."

"What did you say? I'm not old!"

"Shush. He's never loved anyone and never will. I'm sorry to break your heart, Sweetie, but he doesn't have a heart to love anything. It's best if you move on." Nami stopped. She would have gone on if the black-haired boy's eyes hadn't gotten big as dinner plates and as sparkly as a 100-karat diamond under the beams of 78 spotlights.

"Zo-Zoro doesn't l-love me?" Both devils covered their shut eyes, but could still feel the angelic POWER coming at them at 500 mph.

"What is he doing?" Nami yelled over to Zoro.

"I have no clue, but he did this yesterday on a lower scale!"

"How did you make him stop?"

"I asked him to stop!"

"Well then ask him to stop!"

"Stop!"

"Zoroooooooooooooo! Nami is lying, riiiiiiiiiiiight? You loooooooooove meeeeeeeeeee, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight?"

"Yeah, yeah! I love you, now just stop!" The light faded and when the two devils opened their eyes again, they saw a happy person bouncing on the bed.

"See, Nami? He does love me! I proved you wrong."

"You certainly did," Nami huffed with relief. This being wasn't normal. But she still wanted it. "So, Zoro loves you. I still think it's safer if you come with me. No telling what he'd do to you. What did he do with your clothes?"

"I didn't come in anything."

"Didn't COME in ANYTHING?"

"He means he wasn't wearing anything other than those."

"Oh. When did you capture this little darling anyway?"

"C-capture? Uh, two days ago." Nami froze. The cutie had been in just boxer shorts for two days? Chained to a bed and wearing a ridiculous fake halo? Zoro had strange tastes.

"Ah! I also have my hat!" Reaching under the blankets, Luffy pulled out his straw hat, a bit crumpled, but easily straightened back out again. He was just about to put it on his head when he heard Zoro yell.

"Stop!"

"Hmm?"

"I-it'll take off your fake halo!"

"My fake halo?"

"Yes! Your fake halo!"

"Zoro, you have tainted fancies."

"Shut the Hell up! Now don't put on your hat, alright?"

"Okaaaay."

"Aw, let the puppy put his hat on."

"No!"

"Aren't you a prick! Don't listen to him, you can put on your hat."

"Okay."

"Stop! I command you to stop! If you're my toy, you should listen if you don't wanna get punished later!"

"Sorry, Master." Nami spun around the room and crashed into a wall. She couldn't stop the blood dripping from her nose. Being a lecherous devil, she imagined how Zoro would have punished the cutie later – as in a hot, steamy night of power and submission. She squealed and Zoro blushed, knowing exactly what Nami was thinking about.

"Didn't you not want me to?"

"If he was a hooker (after my money), no, but he says he loves you and you did say you love him, so what's wrong? At least I know I can stop you if something goes awry. I have in the past and I will again if I have to!"

"Don't you dare try and interrupt something like that!"

"Like that? Oh, is he? No way does something this darling still have his –" To finish, Nami put a peace sign up to her mouth. Zoro knew the women's' term only because of Nami, but didn't want to look like an idiot so just said it out loud.

"Yeah, he is still a virgin." The she-devil gasped in surprise; she so suspected the black-haired boy to have been Zoro's love slave for the past two days.

"Oh, how can that be? You haven't tried anything on him yet? If you won't, I will."

"Don't you dare. I have done a few things, but we kinda just… stopped before it got too far."

"Stopped?" Zoro shook his head; he didn't want to think about it.

"The mood just died when the little guy passed out."

"Passed out?" Nami was dancing again, stopping at the bed to give Luffy a hug. "Sweetie couldn't handle it? How CUTE!"

"You have strange fancies, Witch."

"Nami?"

"What is it, Cutie?"

"I'm still hungry."

"Does that monster not feed you enough?"

"No."

"Just stay here while I go and get you something nice."

"Okay. I can't go anywhere anyway."

"Zoro, this will be covered by the extra money from Bellamy's head, but next time you'll have to pay extra."

"You bitchy money-miser!"

"I'd get to your rounds if I were you!" Nami cackled and took to the skies, heading back home as quickly as she could to get the needed food and maybe some clothes.

Zoro sighed and stared at Luffy, who was playing with the string on his halo again. There was so much responsibility in taking care of the toy he had wished for. But he felt like it would be worth it in the end. Luffy accidentally untied the floss from his hair and Zoro smiled as if he knew that was going to happen.

"Zoro. It came off."

"Okay, let me fix it."


Usopp slept happily, dreaming of beating back demons with only his words. He didn't know it, but Nami had been planning to drop in on him right after she got her payment from Zoro. Usopp's measly life was spared for another day.


Usopp: I... AM... HERE!
Sanji and Vivi: *clapping* Yes, you and Nami-san made your appearances.
KittyLuffy: And so did a whole string of swearing. *bows* Sorry, non-swearers. I don't swear either.
Usopp: I... AM... A DEVIL!
Vivi: I think that Luffy being chained to Zoro's bed is really funny. What do you great, commenting readers think?
Sanji: Bellamy died. After a long speech. Don't you hate those?
Usopp: I... AM... THE... DEVIL AMONG DEVILS! Wait, what type of awesome name is that?
KittyLuffy: Um... a great one? Thank you for reading ZoLu fans and stick around for a Chapter 9 that will make lots of things make more sense!