Eileen gazed out the grimy window as the sun began to shine. She had found it quite difficult to get back to sleep after Severus' nightmare. She had known that her baby had relived the night he was violated and the way he had screamed had echoed in her ears for hours afterward. She had felt absolutely horrid as she lay there awake in the bed that she had shared with Tobias thinking about what the man she had once loved had done. She had no idea where the man she had married had disappeared to, the man that had loved both of their children. With a sigh she tore her gaze from the bright light and turned to stare at the desolate kitchen. The horrid feeling she had had before intensified as she looked at the rather deplorable state of it. It had not always been that way thought, when Severus had been five it had been remodeled, but that was before Tobias became the drunkard that attacked innocent children.

With a deep breath, Eileen sat at the head of the table, resting her head in her hands. How did she let things get so bad? Why did she allow this to happen, she was supposed to protected her children, not allow them to be beaten within an inch of their lives? She was on the verge of tears when the sound of creaking stairs alerted her someone was up. With quick fingers she wiped away the tears in her eyes and glanced up to see Severus standing there. His shoulders were slumped in embarrassment and shame, his head as down causing his long lank hair to hide his pale face, his thin arms were wrapped around his middle protectively as he leaned against the door frame.

"You should be resting" Eileen stated as she pushed herself out of her chair and approached him, "Your injuries haven't healed completely Severus."

"I – I couldn't – can't – sleep" He replied, his voice cracking as he looked up, tears streaming down his face "I felt- felt him on me... in me" a sob escaped his lips at his confession as he leaned on the door frame even more.

"Oh Severus" Eileen whispered as she pulled him into her arms as he sobbed, flinching as she did so "Why didn't you call for me?"

"I- I didn't w- want to wake either of you up" he murmured into her neck, "I- it was b- bad enough i-i woke you two last night"

"Oh honey" she whispered as she guided him to the nearest chair, her arms still securely around him. "It doesn't matter if you would have woken us up, that's what we are here for, and we are here to help you get through this."

"I-I just don't want to bur-burden you and Avielle with- with my problem" He sobbed as he grabbed her robe
"Severus, listen to me, please" Eileen stated as she stroked his hair. "You are not going to burden us by telling us how you feel, there is nothing wrong with getting things off of your chest, especially when it involves what you went through. It's not healthy to keep everything inside, alright?"

Severus nodded as he shoulders shook harder, he was a wreck. Being back in the house had evoked everything he had managed to forget in the unfamiliar hospital and it was slowly getting to him. He had only been home for less than a day and yet he could already feel the pressure of Tobias' body atop of his. Was it supposed to feel like this? Was he supposed to feel those gross hands travel over his body as he laid in bed in the early hours in the morning after seeing it in his dreams? And how was he going to cope with living in a dorm with four other boys when he feared being touched?

"We will get you through this Severus" He heard his mother state as he leaned into her, tears still streaming from his eyes. "You don't have to go through this alone, you suffered enough when he took you, and there is no need for you to suffer anymore."

Severus nodded as he allowed his mother to hold him closer as he cried, he couldn't remember he did this other than last night, Was this what normal kids did when they were upset? Could they rely on their mothers instead of holding everything inside because they had mothers that cared? Severus shoved those thoughts from his head. He didn't need to think about that right now, not when he already had other things on his mind like coping and getting better. If the boys in his dorm found out what had been done to him, they would never let him live it down, let alone let him forget that it was a muggle that had raped him. They would pound that into his head, he was sure of it.

The boys he roomed with didn't particularly like him, and that was a mutual feeling, but they had the same past time as the Marauders, only their taunts didn't end when the lights went out, they continued until one of them fell asleep or until Avielle sat on his bed while he helped her with lessons. But other than that he was considered free game.

"Severus?"

"Yes?" he replied as he pulled away, drying his eyes on the sleeves of his night shirt

"We need to talk, I would wait for Avielle, but it would be easier if I just talked to you first" Severus looked at his mother, his heart racing, what did she want to talk about? It probably wasn't good if she didn't want his sister to be a part of it.

"I am not sure if it is a good idea for you to return to Hogwarts this year..." she began he looked away from her, horrified. Him not going back? Hogwarts was his home, it's where he felt marginally safe when he wasn't around Potters gang and his own dorm mates.

"Why-why do you say that?" he asked as he examined his hands, he didn't want to look at her, he was sure he knew the answer. He wasn't ready. He had spent a good amount of time in the muggle hospital and for the few hours he had been back, he was a wreak, but what did she expect, he had been hurt in that house, he had to walk by that room to go upstairs.

"Say what?" Severus turned to see Avielle in the doorway, she looked tired just like the rest of them, but there was something in her eyes that told him, she already knew.

Avielle had been awake for some time, she had been awake when Severus got up, and she had seen heard him attempting to hold back his tears as he relived something he shouldn't have to. She had followed him down stairs and had heard much of what was said. She was about to go back upstairs when she heard her mother bring up the idea of Severus staying home.
"Why-why do you say that?" Severus asked his voice cracking as her heart broke. It was easy for her mother to bring the suggestion up, she didn't realize that the school had become his refuge. Severus had come to associate Hogwarts with safety, with Lily. It wouldn't do him any good to stay there in that house anyway. Not after what she had seen this morning and last night. It was just making him relive the horrid way he lost his virginity.

She couldn't and wouldn't hear the answer her mother gave him, instead she moved into the door way.

"Say what?" She asked as Severus snapped around rather quickly, she knew that he could tell she had been eves dropping on their conversation.

"Maybe Severus should stay home from Hogwarts this year" Eileen stated as she looked at her. "It would give him a chance to heal and next year the both of you could be sixth years."

Severus looked mortified at the suggestion, and she really couldn't blame him, he was already getting bullied enough by pretending everything was alright, she could only imagine what would happen if he came back next year.

"Don't you think that would cause more problems than it solves?" She asked "I know he has to heal mother, anyone that has gone through what he has endured has to, but I don't think staying here would help him at all, I mean after all this is where he was hurt in the first place, and if the past day has been any indicator, He's not going to get anywhere by being locked up here"

"Maybe it is too early to have this conversation." Eileen sighed as she looked at her daughter before looking at Severus. "We will talk about this later, right now Severus needs to get some rest, and I need to make a follow up appointment for him."

Avielle looked at her mother for a moment, stunned. Over the past few weeks all they had done was fight over Severus and Tobias, and now, now she was agreeing with her. Maybe seeing Severus crumble as he slowly fell apart made her finally realize what she had happened was not a figment of her imagination but some horrid truth.

"Come on Rus" Avielle stated softly as she offered him a hand, something he took with hesitation. She smiled despite how tired she was, he really didn't deserve to go through this, he had already been through so much already. "You need to get some rest"

Severus gingerly took the offered hand, he wasn't going to fight her, not now, he was tired and so was she. He had prevented her from sleeping, yet she had defending him. She was always defending him, always. That was what had landed her in the closet while Tobias raped him. He shuttered again as they walked past the room heading up stairs. Maybe he wasn't ready to go to Hogwarts, but he wasn't ready to be back in that house either