AN: Okay, in honor of the August 23, 2011 Earthquake that rocked the Eastern Coast of America earlier today expect an literary earthquake in the near future. I'm going to find a way to work one into the story though I don't know how yet. Sorry it's taken me so long to post another chapter but I've still been sick though I'm doing better now. Maybe I should say I was doing better until 1:51 pm EST when the earth quake shook me up a little. I know a 5.9 on the Richter scale may not seem like much to those of you who are used to them on a near daily basis but I've experienced two in my entire life and today's was one of them. Before the one that struck my state a few years ago, the closest thing I got to one was when something accidentally blew up at the local army base. I'm not as close to the epicenter as I used to be but I'm still close enough to it that I didn't have my land legs when it hit. It was literally the scariest thing that happened to me since 9/11 and then like now my dad was at work in the Nation's Capitol. He's fine though, we all are but it's food for thought or fodder take your pick.
CSINY *** CSINY *** CSINY *** CSINY
Chapter 11: Stellar Revelations
Mac Taylor couldn't believe what Sheriff Kane had told him. Maybe he just didn't want to he wasn't sure. The only way to get positive proof was to talk to his father's old business partner. It wasn't like him to leave work early but he just had to know without a doubt. If what Kane had said was true then Stella Bonasera was his Stella Wentworth. Mac drove to the law firm he'd practically grown up in, when he wasn't at home or in school he was always at the office visiting his dad.
Mac made his way to the thirty-fifth floor of the building where Taylor and Pierce had their office. He headed straight for Fred's office even though he didn't have an appointment. He waved to a few people wishing to greet him but he didn't have the patience to talk to anyone at the moment.
"Oh, Mac what are you doing here? How long's it been?" Fred's secretary exclaimed when he approached the desk. The older woman stood up and hugged him, he gave her a pathetic smile as he didn't feel much like renewing old acquaintances.
"Hello Gwen, Claire's funeral probably. Is Fred in?" He asked when she pulled away. Gwen Petrov nodded before returning to her seat.
"You know Mr. Pierce, the only way to get him to retire is by taking him out in a body bag." Gwen smiled at him.
"Is he busy?" Mac asked almost hoping for an excuse to back out.
"You know he's always got time for you. Go on in," She disregarded his silent plea.
"Thanks," He told her and went to knock on the door near her desk.
"Enter," came the familiar voice of his father's junior partner who was head of a law firm which now did business internationally. Mac opened the door and let himself in. Fred looked up from his desk and waved him inside even though he was on the phone. Fred was having a heated conversation with someone on the other end of the line "Yes you do that, bye. Mac, what brings you here?" He wanted to know as he hung up the phone. Fred came around from the other side of the desk and gave Mac a hug as well. Fred was kind of like the uncle Mac had never had. He was a fourth generation of only children… yet another reason he didn't want to marry someone so much younger than himself. After Claire died he'd given up the dream of starting a family not that he'd been in a hurry while she was alive.
"I came to talk about my beneficiary." Mac answered as Fred pulled away. The other man smacked his shoulders and nodded his head before returning to his chair. Mac grimaced trying to ignore the sting as he took a seat also.
"That Stella girl, what about her? You haven't changed you mind all of a sudden have you?" "Fred inquired.
"No of course not… that is if she's still… I mean…" Mac began suddenly feeling flustered. Frederick Pierce was one of only two people Mac felt completely at ease around. "Is she still alive, Fred?" He wanted to know.
"Lord, what a question to ask, McKenna." The other man frowned at him. "If I'm not mistaken that's your department, no pun intended. I can't vouch for proof of life but I can tell you someone is still receiving a stipend in her name. Her apartment is still being lived in and as far as I know funds are still being withdrawn from her account. Hold on a sec," He told Mac before pushing a button on desktop telephone. "Gwen, please bring me that file." Fred asked into it. It only took a minute for Gwen to appear with the requested folder. "Thanks Gwen. Yep, Stella's still using her accounts. She just paid her gas and electric from the account. She deposited five thousand into a long term certificate of deposit and purchased a pearl broach with matching bracelet Tiffany's." Fred informed him. Mac sat up in his seat frowning a little.
"How do you know all of this?" Mac asked. "Are you keeping tabs on her?" He wondered.
"You might think that but actually she's come to me on more than one occasion. She checks in on what she is and isn't allowed under the assignment of funds you provided for her. You know Mac if you're that concerned about her you could just go and talk to her yourself. She's tried grilling me about your real identity on several occasions." Fred revealed.
"Just… tell me her name, Fred." Mac requested.
"I don't understand Mac, you're the one who found her. Are you telling me you didn't her name?" Fred asked.
"I know what they said her name was back then I'm asking what her name is now. I left before she woke up, Frederick. I need to know…" He began but stopped unsure how to explain it any better.
"Alright," Fred told him flipping though the file again. "Stella Wentworth was the name you gave me but when I got to the hospital she was already awake. The name she gave was… Stella Bonasera." Fred confirmed causing Mac's chest to constrict. He got out of his chair and went to stare out the window trying to clear his head.
His greatest fear had been realized. Not only was she one and the same as the little girl he'd saved all those years ago but she was also the woman he'd begun to fall in love with. He hated himself more than ever at that moment.
"I take it you know the young lady then. Not that I'm surprised as she's a police officer as well." He added making Mac turn to look at him.
"You knew about that?" Mac had to ask.
"You've gotten her letters for the last thirty-eight years she never once told you she joined the force?" Fred wondered.
"I haven't gotten a letter in over ten years, Fred. There are lots of things I don't know about her." Mac told him. Fred looked up at him in surprise.
"McKenna, why in heaven's name didn't tell me this sooner? I could have cleared everything up. Do you want me to contact her to make sure it's really her?" Fred exclaimed. Mac shook his head and turned back to the window. "Something's eating at you, Mac. I've seen that look before." Fred said almost the same thing Sid told him earlier.
"What is it with you and Sid today? I don't have a look!" Mac exclaimed in a snippy mood.
"Okay then, you tell me what's going on because I know you well enough to recognize when something's bugging you and don't tell me it's nothing. If Sid thinks something's up then I know you're off your game. Is it Stella? You didn't know she was the same woman and what… fell in love with her?" Fred worked out for himself. "Is that all?" Fred laughed brushing it off as nothing.
"Is that all? How can you sound so blasé about it Fred? I took responsibility for an orphaned minor thirty-eight years ago. What right do I have to betray that trust?" Mac asked belligerently. "She was just a child!" He added weakly.
"Mac you were hardly more than a kid yourself. She's barely twelve years younger than you I don't really see a problem." Fred told him.
"She barely looked five." Mac stated.
"She was very specific when it came to her age, Mac. She was five years and ten months old which makes her exactly twelve years and one month younger than you are. What is so wrong with that?" Fred demanded an response that Mac didn't want to answer.
"My parents couldn't stand the sight of each other, Fred. They fought constantly over every little thing. If that wasn't because of their age difference then it was because of…" Mac stopped himself before he could voice his life long fear.
"Because of you? Mac, it's not your fault. You have to know that all married people argue, some more than most granted but do you honestly think Rebecca and I don't argue?" Fred inquired.
"I don't know. I just… I always thought it was because Dad was so much older than Mom. How could they have had anything in common? If I was the only reason they stayed together then that was a bad reason." Mac admitted.
"Geeze, Mac have you been keeping that to yourself all these years? Yes, I know Boyd and Madeline fought but it wasn't about you and neither was the reason they stayed together. They loved each other very much and they loved you as well. The reason for all the arguments was because your mother wanted to move out of the city. Maddie knew you were happier when you were up at Rose Point. She wanted the three of you to move to Serenity Cottage year round. Boyd thought you should have all the available options the city had to offer." Fred explained. Mac had to sit down at the revelation.
"The reason why I was happier at Rose Point is because they hardly ever argued." Mac confessed putting his head in his hand unable to stifle the sob that escaped his lips. Fred let him regain his composure before he came around the desk and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Listen Kiddo, I know you didn't have it easy and I know you probably feel that you've disappointed your father. I knew Boyd long enough to know that he would be proud of the man you've become. You were given a huge responsibility when your parents died and you took on another one when you saved that little girl. I can see that you like Stella but tell me is it the age difference that's holding you back or the fact that she's the girl you saved all those years ago?" Fred questioned.
"A bit of both I guess. I just…" Mac began but paused trying to put the words into place.
"Alright tell me one thing, age difference aside, would you have entertained the notion of starting a relationship with Stella if she wasn't the girl you saved?" Fred inquired. Mac thought about it for a while but shrugged his shoulders unable to come to an acceptable conclusion. "Is that your head or your heart talking Mac?" Fred wanted to know.
"I already had someone in my life Fred," Mac told him.
"Please tell me you're not talking about Claire, Mac, that was ten years ago. You have to let her go." Fred gave him the same advice Sid and countless others had given him for at least that long.
"I'm too old start a family now. I missed my chance when Claire died. Why would I want to cultivate a new relationship this late in my life? I'm happy with the way things are." Mac determined.
"Then why do you sound so unconvincing? Or is it that you're still trying to persuade yourself?" Fred asked dead on. "Hey look Mac, from where I sit it doesn't seem like you're all that convinced yourself. Who says it's too late for you to start a family? I didn't meet Rebecca until I was in my forties. I had all but given up on finding someone then she walks into my life. We've been happily married for the last forty years though I will admit we've had our ups and downs. That isn't because she's younger than I am. There are differences of opinion in every relationship. Just because we have our arguments one thing does change. I love my wife. I know Rebecca loves me. I'm only telling you this because I care about you, Mac. You have to move on with your life. If Claire loved you as much as I think she did then she would want you to move on with your life as well." Fred told him.
"I don't think I'm ready, Fred. I thought I was but now I'm not sure." Mac confessed.
"I know you've had a long term relationship with Peyton, Mac, but can you seriously tell me you're in love with her?" Fred asked. Mac turned to look at him making the other man chuckle. "It isn't a crime to fall in love just make sure it's with the right woman." He was told. Mac shook his head unwilling to accept what he said.
"I got to head back to the office now, Fred. Thanks for giving me the information I was looking for." Mac drew the visit to a close. Fredrick sighed and nodded his head in disappointment but honored Mac's wishes to drop the subject.
"What do you want to do about Stella?" Fred questioned. Mac frowned and shook his head. "I meant in regards to the provision." He added quickly.
"My wishes haven't changed on the subject." Mac replied holding his hand out to shake the other man's hand. Fred accepted his hand with a firm shake.
"Don't wait so long to get in touch, Mac. Becca would love to have you over for dinner." His father's old partner offered.
"I'll get back to you on that." Mac told the man without committing to anything.
"In Boyd speak that means 'not very likely', you take after your father more than you realize Mac." Fred told him. Mac frowned again unsure whether he should take that as an insult or a compliment. "Taking after a parent isn't always a bad thing. Just don't be the workaholic your father was and you should be fine." Fred assured him. Mac nodded and left the office, saying good-bye to Gwen before making his way back to the lab.
Mac took the longer route back to headquarters, for one thing it gave him an opportunity to clear his mind and for another it was quicker than the more traveled yet direct route. He tried wrapping his head around the idea that Stella Bonasera was actually his Stella. He might actually be pleased by the news if he hadn't also been attracted to her the minute she walked off the elevator.
He didn't want to admit to the fact that he was attracted to her but he could no longer deny it. Especially not after getting eyewitness accounts from three people. Mac took in all the evidence from the case and could only confirm the witness statements. Sid was right, he was a hopeless case.
What was he going to tell Peyton? She deserved to know the truth. If he had been completely honest from the beginning, he never would have entered into a relationship in the first place. He was angry with himself for taking advantage of her interest in him. He knew the familiarity between them would never lead to anything permanent but never bothered to share that with her.
Peyton had to have known that. She knew what she was getting herself into when she pursued a relationship with him. They'd never had more than a professional relationship before he lost Claire. It took four years after his wife died for him to respond to her persistent invitations. He wished now he had just told her no from the start.
He didn't look forward to the conversation he would need to have with her but he was determined to do the right thing. He respected her enough to give her an explanation, even if nothing transpired between him and Stella. He only hoped Peyton could understand. He didn't expect it to be easy of course but he hoped for as little complication as possible.
He arrived at headquarters and made his way to his office from the parking garage; unlike the other day when Flack brought him to work he went straight through the annex. The newer section of police headquarters was closer to the parking deck so it didn't take very long to get up to the correct floor. When he got there he made his way to his office but stopped dead in his tracks. What he saw made his breath catch in his throat, Sid was hugging Stella.
Cutting off the emotional response before it happened Mac prevented himself from entertaining notions of killing yet another man. He could tell by the way Sid was hugging her that it was an innocuous embrace. It did peak his curiosity though as to what the cause was but he was certain Sid would tell him eventually.
Just as he was about to turn to go into his office he caught Sid's eye by chance. Even from that distance he could tell the other man wanted to talk. Mac motioned with his head to his office and he saw Sid nod his head before he went into the room. He took off his coat and tried getting to work but his mind was distracted by other things. One of them being: how he was going to keep his stony façade around Stella when all he wanted to do was kiss her again.
CSINY *** CSINY *** CSINY *** CSINY
P.S. Please let me know if you do or do not like the new format. I'm not generally pleased with it but I have to do it this way for publishing real books. Maybe it's cause I'm dyslexic that I find this format confusing I don't know. I'd love your feedback on this. Is it easier to read? Less confusing? Depended on what you say is how I'll format the rest of the chapter so if you prefer the old way of doing it let me know soon. Well never mind then they wont let me do it here. Ignore me easy enough to do enjoy. TTFN! Vanidot
