Hellooooo! I'm sorry for the delay, blah, blah, blah. My apologies don't seem sincere anymore… Anyway, I hope you like this chapter :D. Also, my awesome friend who I met on this site, FireBreadandSnares, turned 13 exactly two weeks ago on June 23rd. So I would like to start this chapter by wishing her the best late happy birthday ever :). This chapter is totally for you, Maddie, I hope you like it :).
Reunion:
Nike's POV
''Man, I do look horrible'' I mumble as I see my reflection in the mirror for the first time since we left the Capitol. Gale's description of me was fairly accurate, I look horrible. To begin with, I'm extremely pale, sickly even, and the fact that I dropped a lot of weight doesn't help with making me look any healthier. My hair is a lot longer now, kind of like it was when I was fourteen, it looks ridiculously spiky, ridiculously uneven and ridiculously messed up. It makes me look a lot younger, like a seventeen year old teenager. I also have a pretty decent beard for someone who has never been able to grow a beard. There's a shaver on a very small cupboard above the mirror, there's also a toothbrush, toothpaste, a comb, a couple white shirts and military pants, soap and, for some reason, tampons. Everything comes in handy aside from the latter.
I shave, although not my hair, I decide to leave it long for some reason, then I shower and brush my teeth. I never thought brushing my teeth could be so pleasant, but after so long it was fantastic. I try to brush my hair. I don't succeed. I actually smile after that, I had forgotten how frustrating my hair could be. I look at myself in the mirror once I'm done. I'm not going to say I look good, but the image certainly became a lot better. At least I didn't look like a hobo anymore.
I'm going to put the shirt on when I notice, on my left arm, the bandage covering the place where I was shot in my shoulder. I tighten my fists, I saw it. I open and close my fists over and over until finally I decide to move the bandage. I see the shot. Literally it's just a small, red, bloody circle. I touch it and it hurts, so I immediately move my hand away. I begin to breathe heavily and I set my hands on the sink. My muscles are tight and I keep my eyes shut the entire time. I finally open them and I see myself in the mirror again, except there's something different this time. This time, my eyes are fully red.
The next thing I remember is that the mirror is broken and right in the middle point there's a small trail of blood, tracing down. I'm shaking. When I look at my right hand I see that my knuckles are very bruised and bleeding. I look at myself in the mirror again and I see myself several times, in each broken piece of it. My eyes aren't red; they're bright green like they've been my entire life. I breathe heavily one last time, put the shirt on, which is slightly small for me, and I walk out of the bathroom.
They ask me about the mirror. I say it just broke. They don't believe me, but they don't ask either. The ride to Thirteen is hours long. I don't do much; I still have the image of my eyes in mind. So red, so filled with pain and fear. I know this is not normal. I know I shouldn't be this nervous and tense all the time, but I can't help it. Cinna tries to make me feel better, maybe because he notices how much of a mess I am. I appreciate the thought, but having him come up to me, opening his mouth, then realizing he can't speak and closing it again is depressing. Gale asks me if I'm okay again. I reply the same thing I did before, I'm not okay, but I'll find a way to be. I have to, I can't arrive to Thirteen, where Johanna is waiting for me, being a mess. I need to figure out what I need and how to stop the red that hunts me. If only it were that easy.
We finally arrive, in the morning the next day. Peeta is still asleep, but they'll wake him up once we're in Thirteen. I'm completely nervous, I keep moving my hands and rubbing them against my pants.
''Are you nervous?'' asks Gale.
''Yes'' I reply, closing my eyes and opening them again ''No. I don't know. Should I be? Why should I be? I know Johanna. I've known her my whole life. Yes, definitely yes''
Gale laughs ''You don't seem like the kind of guy that's comfortable around chicks''
I laugh as well ''I'm not'' I say rubbing my hands against my legs ''But you'd think that after thirteen years knowing the girl I'd get used to it…''
''Did you sleep at all?'' He asks '' I hadn't noticed how tired you look''
''No, I can't sleep'' I reply. And it's true. I don't remember the last time I slept, it was more like passing out because of the pain from torture. Actually sleeping seems like a mad idea, it doesn't seem natural. At least not to me. ''Too much in my head, I guess…''
He's about to say something, but the hovercraft shakes slightly violently as we arrive and enter Thirteen's facilities. We all form an unorganized line to leave the hovercraft, with the people who need help first, such as Peeta or Cinna. They offer me help as well, but I think I need a therapist more than a paramedic. We enter a big white room filled with doctors who start to help the people who got hurt in the mission and helping Annie, Cinna and Peeta.
They take Gale aside and begin removing what looks like a bullet from the side of his waist. How could I not notice he had been shot? They take me aside as well, and begin to work on y multiple bruises, cuts, internal wounds, broken limbs, my dislocated shoulder and the shot on my shoulder.
They are removing the bullet off of my shoulder, which it happened to still be there-no wonder why it hadn't healed- when I see her. She's just standing there. Johanna. I hardly notice Finnick and Annie hugging almost right beside me, or the fuzz the doctors are making, or the loud noises, or the pain of having metallic tweezers in my shoulder. All I notice is her, with her hair up in a messy ponytail, wearing dull gray clothes, looking like she hadn't slept in days and searching the room with her eyes.
I just stare at her, until finally her eyes meet mine. I begin to breathe more rapidly as a smile finds its way to my face. I push the doctor away, stand up and walk to her. I walk faster and faster until I'm running. It feels like miles, even though I know she's right there. I get to her finally and she wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me, like she did on that arena what feels like a million years ago. I can't even begin to describe how it feels to kiss her. The feeling is overwhelming. For the first time in months I feel truly happy, I feel like there might be a happy ending to this story, or that there's still something to fight and to live for.
She breaks the kiss and says looking into my eyes ''You ever leave me again and I swear I will kill you''
''Don't worry, I won't'' I reply with a smirk. I kiss her again and press her even closer against me, just because it feels that I can't be close enough to her. And at that moment, red doesn't exist. There's no pain, no fear, no guilt and nothing wrong. There's just me and her, and it's amazing.
Johanna's POV
I haven't seen Nike since he arrived and that was days ago. I didn't even had a chance to actually talk to him, the doctors took him away to take care of his wounds before I could. I try to visit him in the hospital wing every day, but they don't let me. They say he's in a ''critical mental state''. He didn't seem to be in a critical mental state when he had his tongue on my mouth. All I've heard about him comes from Annie. Apparently they were in the same cell together, but she didn't know much about how they were torturing him, it seems like he kept those things to himself, typical of him to try and protect Annie from his suffering. Yet Annie knew that he was actually having a lot of breakdowns.
''He seemed unaffected by the torture, he was acting so normal, just weak'' She told me and Finnick- who would not leave her alone at all- one day ''Then all of the sudden he broke down''
''Why? What happened that day?'' I ask.
''I don't know, he wouldn't tell me'' she says looking a little nervous ''But after one day he came back and he was shaking and muttering about the color red. He never got back to normal after that. He would talk to himself a lot, but he wouldn't talk to me unless it was completely necessary, like when he told me he found out Finnick wasn't in the Capitol. He would be nervous all the time and sometimes he would sit down on the floor with his head in his hands and cry. I didn't know what to do, I was so scared…'' She begins shaking and Finnick hugs her, which calms her down a bit.
''What else?'' I ask, desperate to know Nike didn't have it so bad and that I could see him soon.
''Well, his eyes were always… wild after that. He seemed really alert to everything and I remember that he knocked out a couple peacekeepers who wanted to take me with them. He was really protective of me.''
That was a relief for me. If Nike was still taking care of Annie then the normal Nike was still there. That's something you can always count Nike for, he'll always try to help, no matter how bad things are for him. Damn, I miss him. I've also been spending a scary amount of time with Katniss. What happened to Peeta probably hit her hard. I don't know what I would do if something like that ever happened to Nike. I try to help Katniss by doing inappropriate jokes. They don't really work, but I think she appreciates me trying. Katniss also tries to get me to talk to Nike, but they don't allow her either, so we're pretty much stuck.
I try to see him one Nike, a couple days before Annie's and Finnick's wedding, hoping that I could at least ask him if he was going to be in the wedding. They don't let me in, but I see my therapist walking out of his room. I catch up to her. I talk to her about seeing Nike and she tells me she can't allow me to enter. I feel like knocking her out, but I resist the urge.
I'm about to leave, but she stops me. ''Look, I can't let you see him'' she says, ''But here, take this'' She says handing me an old looking notebook ''I shouldn't give you this, but I've been telling Nike to write down what he feels every time he gets a breakdown, he fills these notebooks surprisingly fast, that is the last one he wrote. I hope that helps''
Later when I'm back in my room, almost at midnight I take the notebook and flip the pages. It feels like I'm about to read Nike's journal, but I'm desperate to feel like he's here. So I open the first page. Nike's handwriting is huge, sloppy and there are lots of words that make no sense. The only thing I can read with certainty is the word ''RED'' in capital letters.
I keep passing pages until finally in around the middle of the book his handwriting changes drastically, becoming like I knew it before, small and organized. I read.
''I don't know what's going through my head. I try to stop picturing the red, but I can't. It is always there. The only time it left was when I as with Johanna. Why don't they let me see her? It's cruel. She's the only thing keeping me from going insane, can't they tell that seeing her will help me? It doesn't matter to them it seems, I just hope they let me go to Finnick's and Annie's wedding. Maybe that could take my mind off of things. My doctor would probably say that's not true. I was diagnosed with ADHD, I didn't have it before so the attention problems and hyperactivity must've come after I saw Cinna's tongue been cut off.''
So that's what he saw. That must've probably been what Annie was talking about, what changed him.
''The doctor says that's why I can't stop thinking about the red. But I don't just think it. I see it. It's there. I know it. I can't describe it. It's just red. I can't say what it means. No one should know what red is. It is too awful. I wish I didn't know what it was. I don't know if the red will go away. I don't know if I'll ever come back to normal. I don't know if I'll ever feel the same. I don't know if I'll ever be sane again. I just want this to end. If I have to I'm going to fight, I don't care if they tell me I'm not mentally stable to do so, I am part of this war and I intend to end it. Hopefully it'll end soon. I'm so tired… I want to go home. I want to see Johanna. I want to laugh and drink with Finnick. I want to tease Annie and Katniss and just be normal for a while. It's so depressing to know that at one point I was actually happy. Will I ever be happy again? I don't know, although I was happy when I arrived, when I kissed Johanna. All I know is that I'm not happy in this hospital room. It's almost as bad as been in a cell in the Capitol. I want to go home.''
I shut the notebook. It feels wrong to read it, Nike should be telling me this, Nike should be opening up to me and not to a book. I miss him. At least I know that his heart is still in the right place, he's still willing to fight for Panem and so am I.
Okay, highly lame ending, but I couldn't come up with something better. I really hope you liked this chapter. I really liked it :), it's not as good as the last one, but it came out pretty good. If you liked it leave a review and tell me what you think I did good, what you think I did bad and what I can do better next time :D.
