11

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

-Lao Tzu

It is said that when you find your soul-mate you will find them in every life that you live. Though it may take millions of lifetimes to be able to find that person and to discover who they are to you. In the case of Ciel and Sebastian their love is undiscovered and hidden in the depths of themselves, only visible to the outsider. Not many cared to notice the looks they gave one another, or how one would act when the other was ill or had been missing. The signs that love was growing was becoming more and more evident yet only some cared to notice it and other denied its exists.

It had been a few days since Ciel passed out and had that dream, since than nothing had happened. The Undertaker left soon after the boy woke up due to an urgent call from a customer concerned with how their father was being buried. Ever since than Ciel had tried to keep a distance from his butler, hoping that with the distance the dreams would end expect they started occurring more and more often and slowly started to affect him. It was today that the young male couldn't take the dreams and the longing anymore. The slate haired boy was walking more like running down the long hallway that led to the main entrance hall of the house. That morning Sebastian had gone to to pick up some food for the week, leaving Ciel alone with the 4 other servants who seemed to be hiding and keeping their distance. The boy turned sharply around a corner and found himself at top of the staircase. The stairs were huge and were fit for royalty. Very carefully Ciel took a step down staring at the lush red carpet that covered them before his eyes look up to a large gaping space where a painting should have been. Though without another thought about it he took another step and stared out into the main entrance waiting something to occur. Ciel had only been standing there for a few seconds when the front doors opened and a tall figure wearing a long black coat came in with bags in his hands and a hat hid his face. Ciel's heart began to thud hard against his chest, he ignored it as he watched the man closely.

Sebastian could feel someone watching him, and very slowly he took his hat off and looked up to see a blue eyed boy smiling at him. That smile was one that belonged to an angel, it was rare, and was something so precious that Sebastian couldn't help but smile back at the boy. The male than looked away and walked towards the kitchen and pantry to put away everything he had just bought. In his head he couldn't get ride of the image of Ciel standing there watching him.

As soon as Sebastian was gone Ciel was bounding back to the study trying to figure out what had just occurred, the exchange of smiles and the look in those red eyes. Even the fact that he smiled like that disturbed Ciel even more. Smiling wasn't something he liked or cared for, though right now he couldn't help but smile. Along with the fact he had no idea why he had gone to see his butler return home. For the boy he felt like he couldn't control himself anymore and for someone who enjoyed being withheld, cold and controlling this wasn't a pleasant feeling. Soon enough Ciel found himself back in the silent presence of books and paperwork. He felt his heart slow down as he let his hand glide over the leather bindings as he moved towards his desk. Carefully he took a seat and stared at the laptop in front of him which showed a document filled with words, beside it was an open book on London History in the late 1800's. The essay was on the underground business of London and the role it took on the culture of city. As he sat there just staring at the words before him, his mind was working, painting images of London back in the 1870's. Than everything went dark.

A street, dark, dank and grungy spread in front of him old building standing on either side of him, the sidewalk covered with puddles from a previous rain. The lampposts didn't shed much light onto the street, it just made pools of yellow light every eight feet, leaving darkness in between. The sky was dark yet the stars were bright and seemed to be shining brighter than usual. Unknown to him, he was moving down the street almost unconsciously, he had no idea where he was heading but he felt he was being drawn to something. As he moved down the street he looked at the building and saw shadows in the windows yet there didn't be any sign that their were real or just a figment of his imagination. When Ciel looked forward he saw a figure standing before him, it's back was towards him but he could tell who it was. The black coat seemed to go down to the figures calf, the figure the was tall and slender yet on his back there seemed to be something bulging. Before he knew it he was right beside the figure, as he looked to see the man's face it was gone. "You desire the one thing no man can have."

Everything came rushing back to him, the library, the books, the essay before him. It made his body feel like it had been hit by a buss, and all he wanted to do was empty the contents in his stomach. Quickly he was out of the chair and on the ground throwing up into a trash bin. When he was done gracelessly he leaned back shaking, his hand holding onto the edge of the desk for balance. He looked at his hand and saw his fingers were white as snow, very slowly he tried to rise to his feet but as soon as he tried he was back down being hit by the horrid smell of the vomit. Ciel just sat there attempting to find his balance before he tried to escape the scent once more. Right than he felt a hand go under his arm and lift him up very carefully like he was a doll into the desk chair, than lifted him again, this time he felt a hard warm chest, and he just curled into it.

Ciel's eyes were closed and had been when he was picked up, his body was still shaking and it was freezing cold to the touch. Sebastian just held him like a child, even though the boy was taller than when he was all that time ago, he was still as slender and as light has he had been then. The demon held him tightly, savoring the moment he had holding the boy as he carried him off to his master's room. The silence of the walk was soothing but the tiny moans of the boy when they occurred was the hardest part to try and hold himself back from. During the walk the boy had fallen asleep or passed out from whatever had occurred earlier. He looked to peaceful, and Sebastian couldn't help but smile down at him. For years he had loved his boy, and he knew of it ever since the day Ciel first left him. Though he had to hold himself back, he couldn't act like a uncontrollable demon and take what he wanted like always. Instead when he entered the bedroom he just set the fragile body down and gently laid his lips on the boy's forehead before leaving the room and shutting the door.


Note: I'm going to try and post 2 chapters month or maybe more. Thank you all for the reviews and reading this. It means a lot to me.