It had been two weeks since Slytherin won their Quidditch match against Hufflepuff. Scorpius had given Rose a blow-by-blow after the match of all the things she might not have known: like how the Slytherin Keeper had been ill but insisted on playing, or how Hufflepuff would have won if their Seeker had noticed the snitch behind her instead of diving after Scorpius' feint.
Scorpius was back to teasing her again, and Rose thought it felt almost like it had when they had first started going out. Pretending to go out, she corrected herself.
Somehow or another she still hadn't told Scorpius about her encounter with Cooper. Every day she promised herself she would bring it up, she would end their fake relationship and try and build a new one. And every day Scorpius smiled at her and she told herself it could wait until tomorrow.
Some days it was just so easy to forget she wasn't actually dating Scorpius. When they were together it just all seemed so real. Surely he couldn't be that good at pretending all the time, right?
Other days, it was impossible for Rose to forget everything was just pretend. Her need to understand his motives drove her crazy. Either he actually liked her, or he felt nothing for her and was just helping her as a friend, or he was secretly messing with her. Rose was slowly giving up the notion of the last option. She had come to know him well enough by now to know that wouldn't be the case (Definitely. Probably. Hopefully.)
In any case, she needed to tell him about Cooper, end this charade, and move on. Weather that was with Scorpius or not would be up to him.
Rose was filled with determination.
But two weeks turned into three. And three weeks had almost turned into four. There were only two more weeks until the start of Winter Holidays, and Rose knew things couldn't go on as they were.
Part of her was itching to wait until the last second, to tell him just as she was about to leave. Then she could avoid her problems for two more weeks, and that sounded wonderful. But she knew that was unfair to Scorpius. And that was really the heart of the matter.
At this point, Rose almost felt like she was tricking Scorpius into dating her (Pretending to date! she reminded herself for the hundredth time). And that wasn't right. If she ever wanted Scorpius to care about her for real then she needed to come clean, and soon.
So, when she found herself alone in the library with Scorpius later that day, she steeled herself for the conversation that had been a long time coming. Rose took a deep breath.
"Hey, can we talk?"
Rose faltered. It had been Scorpius saying those words.
"Um, yeah, sure. I… no, you go first, I have something to say as well though." She replied. Smooth, she scolded herself in her head.
"Oh, well, it's just, you seem extra distracted lately, and I thought we were okay, but now I'm not sure, and I guess I wanted to know if everything was alright with you?" He sounded so earnest, so concerned. Rose knew she needed to confess, even if it meant losing everything.
"Right, that's what I wanted to talk about as well. I wasn't sure the best way to bring this up, and I let things go a bit too long, and then it got even more awkward, so I didn't know how to mention…"
She stole a glance at him and cringed with embarrassment.
"I'm sorry, I'm saying this all wrong. A few weeks ago, while you were at Quidditch practice, Cooper cornered me and-"
"That bastard! What did he do? I'm so sorry! I'll jinx the crap out of him, I'll-"
"No, no! He didn't do anything! Well he was vulgar and vile, but he started talking about how he was going to go after Dominique, and I just lost it. I set a bat boogey hex right at his face and he sorta ran off crying…"
"That's amazing! He deserved it. You shouldn't be feeling guilty about that, good riddance, I say."
"It did feel sort of amazing." Rose smiled. "But I realized that I can handle him, on my own, I don't need…" She trailed off, Oh no, that's not how I meant to say that.
"Oh… Oh. Right, of course. This. Of course you don't. You just needed to learn to stick up for yourself. And you have, so, good. I mean, this whole thing was a sham anyway, so no harm done."
Scorpius smiled at her and Rose didn't know what to say. It was everything she hadn't wanted to happen. He had really been pretending the whole time. Pretending about everything. I'm such an idiot.
"Yeah," she started cautiously, "that's what I was getting at. I guess there's not really a need for… this… anymore." Stupid! Stupid! That's not what you want to say! Tell him you like him! Tell him you love his crooked smile and how he makes you laugh! Tell him you don't want this to stop! Tell him you want to snog his face off! No, don't tell him that, but the rest! Tell him something!
But seeing Scorpius' calm composure made Rose hesitate. He didn't seem upset at all. And if he wasn't upset about the possibility of "breaking up", didn't that mean he didn't care about "going out" with her?
"Right then. That settles that." He said, matter-of-factly. "Let's talk details, how should we do this? The timing's pretty good, almost Holidays. I'm staying here this year and I think you always go home, so we won't have to deal with the train, and people will forget about all the gossip going around with the time off. Do you want to have a big public fight? I'm just kidding, I know you don't. I'll just stop hanging around you all the time and eventually everyone will figure it out. Oh, I should go find Albus so he knows to sit by you in potions tomorrow."
Scorpious smiled at Rose again, expectantly. She forced herself to smile back.
"Sure, that sounds fine, I guess."
"Great, well, I'll just go find Albus, and I'll see you around. I'm really proud of you, about Cooper, by the way."
And then he gathered up his things and was gone.
Rose sat there, dumbfounded. This was not the way she had expected things to go. Somewhere along the way she had convinced herself that Scorpius had developed real feelings for her, like she had for him, and that somehow it would all work out. She'd tell him about Copper and he'd say they didn't need excuses anymore. And then it would be real. And she could laugh with him and talk with him and kiss him and hold his hand, just because. Not to fool other people, but because it made her happy.
And now she was sitting by herself.
She made her way back to the Ravenclaw tower in a daze. People were staring at her as she passed, and she realized there were tears falling down her cheeks. But she didn't care, didn't even bother to wipe them away.
She went into the common room, walked straight past Dominique (who got up and opened her mouth), climbed the stairs to her dorm, pulled the curtains shut around her bed, and sobbed into her pillow until she ran out of tears.
