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Episode 138 (English Sub, English Dub)

"Mist of Sages"


"Everyone listen to me! Do not inhale the mist! This is the work of the demon. I don't know what it is, exactly, but it makes you intoxicated, so do not inhale it!"

"Think you're a little late there, Miroku, they're already three sheets to the wind!"

Despite the volume of Kagome, Kagome, and Kagome (the latter of whom were actually Shippo and Hachi), Miroku heard his half demon companion without any difficulty. He gave him a sidelong glance; Inuyasha couldn't see the expression he was making as his face was covered by his billowing black sleeve, but he could tell the monk was annoyed. "Well I was referring to the rest of us, thank you," he snapped. Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

"Alright, time for another song!" Kagome whooped. Inuyasha and Miroku both turned to the very, very drunk fifteen year old. Her face was flushed with alcohol, and there was a wild, almost furious ecstasy on her face as she raised her strange pink future contraption. Kagome number two and Kagome number three (Hachi and Shippo) threw themselves on the actual Kagome, grinning like fools as well and laughing like idiots and cheering.

"H-hey! Chill out, you three!" Inuyasha shouted over the chants of "jewel shards, jewel shards, we're looking for jewel shards!", sounding more bewildered than he did commanding. Miroku could see the way his ears flicked back and forth, one cocked this way and the other that in his utter confusion. His sword was dangling uselessly at his side.

Kagome (the real one) glowered at him and began a new chant, slurring terribly. "Inuyasha's a big jerk-head! Inuyasha's a big meanie an' he's always runnin' off to stupid Kikyo an' making me cry!"

"Oi, give it a rest!" Inuyasha had to shout to be heard as Shippo and Hachi redoubled their continuing chant. It was amazing that any of them could hear the shrill titter that exploded from the mist behind them, but they did. Everyone quieted and stared.

"S… Sango?" Miroku asked hesitantly. Sango wandered tipsily over to them, her steps slow and deliberate, but very unsteady. She brushed past Miroku, swayed a moment, then threw herself on the frozen half-demon who looked like he were being presented with a thousand horrifying and harmless terrors. He staggered as her weight hit him unexpectedly.

"Inuyasha!" she slurred, half screaming into his ear.

"S-Sango! What're you doing?" Inuyasha stammered, frozen in an awkward position with Sango rubbing her face in his neck and her arms around his middle.

"Ferget about them, le'ss get outta here," she sighed dramatically.

"G-get outta here? The hell you talking about?" Inuyasha squeaked, his voice rising to an undignified pitch as Sango rubbed her entire body against him, running her hands slowly and seductively from his stomach up his chest and around his neck. A nerve in his brow twitched. Dammit, he didn't even know what to do with this own hands, holding them out to the sides like an idiot and standing still like he was petrified. Which he kind of was.. Just how drunk off this stupid fog was she? Oh gods help him, he prayed to whatever kami would listen to a hanyou that she was just drunk.

"I'm sssso sick of thad two-timing perv," she slurred. Miroku's eye twitched as well, a curiously shocked and disbelieving smile on his face. "And Kagome's all… Woooooah, three Kagome's are definitely a crowd… Le'ss leave 'em too." The three Kagome's looked just as bamboozled as Miroku, though the one still holding the pink thing to her mouth had narrowed her eyes, like she were trying to figure something out.

Sango hadn't stopped rubbing herself against the flustered hanyou, heard the undignified whimpers and squeaks he was making, or seen the hurt and horrified and somewhat jealous expression on the monk's face. "C'mon, let's gooo! Le'ss go 'n' defeat Naraku." She turned to look at the half demon, vision blurry and mouth slack. "Okaaaaaay?"

Horrified, heart beating a mile a minute, Inuyasha's knees started to bend in his desperate efforts to escape Sango. She was leaning forward with her lips pursed, humming in a terrible, drunken attempt at seductiveness. She was too close. Way too close. Against his will, Inuyasha whimpered again and shut his eyes tightly. Miroku watched, frozen, his face falling with his stomach.

Something in Kagome's mind seemed to click the moment that she registered that Sango and Inuyasha were about to kiss. However, she didn't exactly seem to understand who was trying to do what. So, with the best drunken logic she could muster, she jumped to a conclusion that made her immediately jealous. "OSUWARI-III!"

Rather than kissing Sango, Inuyasha ended up kissing dirt. Another unflattering noise escaped him, as had one escaped Miroku just before. The monk watched, dumbfounded, as Kagome marched up to the struggling hanyou, planted her feet firmly by his side, and began to scream into her contraption. "Osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osu-!"

Sango was crying.

The fact caught Shippo's attention first, and he said so out loud. "L-look! Now the poor girl's crying!"

Miroku heard that, over Kagome's repeated screams and Inuyasha's constant grunts and yelps as the Beads worked their unfortunate magic. Turning around sharply, he watched with a small gasp as Sango collapsed onto her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. In the relative silence of the stone valley, it rang, bouncing off the sides of the mountain in a heartbreaking requiem that tugged at his soul in an odd, discomforting way. Her crying was one of the loudest things around him.

"Now that stupid monk who made her cry is going to console her," Shipoo narrated, watching as Miroku stepped forward and kneeled down in front of the slayer, offering her a kind and tentative hand.

She looked up, her eyes red and face blotchy. "Houshi-sama…"

Without warning, she exploded. "MIROKU, WHY YOU FLIRTING CHEAT!" she screamed, not only using his actual name for once, but reaching for her great bone boomerang as well, brows pinched in fury. It was Miroku's turn to make an indistinct sound of alarm.

"Now she's hoppin' mad!" Shippo cried, watching in amazement.

"Go! Go!" Hachi cheered in high excitement, entertained more than worried.

"HIRAIKOTSU!"

He almost didn't make it, bending in half just fast enough that the weapon when whistling over his head rather than having it cleaved off his shoulders. He stumbled back, pressing his sleeve to his face once again. "Gods, is this what the demon was planning?" he murmured quietly. His head was beginning to spin. "To intoxicate us with his demonic power and destroy each other?" He couldn't think straight. Nothing made sense. He needed to get rid of the mist. A bright idea suddenly struck him. "Inuyasha!" he called urgently. "Scatter the mist with the Kaze no Kizu!"

"L-look. Be. Fore. You. Sp-speak. I'm. A. Li. Tle. Bui. Sy. Here. St-stu. P-pid." Miroku heard the half demon's muffled voice just over Kagome's miserable and suddenly sleepy refrain of "osuwari". He was still continually being slammed into the earth over and over and over again.

"Oh. Sssorry." He reeled a little, staring into the mist. At this rate, he was going to pass out like Sango and Kagome were about to. He couldn't allow that. Reluctantly, he reached for the prayer beads covering his right hand. "I have no choice," he said thickly, resigned. "It's shameful to fear being poisoned." He set his jaw and yanked the beads off his hand, raising it into the air. "One must drink sake! Not get drunk off of it! KAZAANA!"

And before any of them knew it, they were standing in brilliant starlight.

...


Glossary:

Kami - gods or apparitions

Hanyou - a half demon/youkai

Osuwari - the 'sit' command specific for a dog

Houshi - a Buddhist monk

Kaze no Kizu - "wind scar"

Sake - rice wine

Kazaana - the black hole in Miroku's right hand; "wind tunnel"


A/N My biggest issue with this scene is that, if we're being honest, it could never happen. Why, you may ask? My answer is simple. Have we all forgotten that Inuyasha is a lightweight? He probably would have been the first one to get drunk, right after Kagome XD But nNNNOOooOOooo, in this he's got some sort of tolerance. Hachi's a demon, so the "Inuyasha's got demon blood" argument won't work, and Hachi's also a casual drinker! He's actually got tolerance to alcohol! Inuyasha doesn't so why isn't he wasted like the others? I HAVE SO MANY ISSUES, I JUST RUINED A FUNNY SCENE FOR MYSELF, WHY?

Also, we as watchers had funny music to listen to with this scene. The characters? No. This was a silent, muffled area, filled only with their own screaming and sobbing. It's unnerving to think.

Yes, I got too lazy to finish the scene. My only defense is that these are just fun little snippits. I don't have to tell the whole story coz you can watch it or read it for yourself.

(Also, it's my birthday :V)


Currently listening to: Ghost Assassin - Maduk