Hey hey peeps! :D I'm in a great mood today! I just received confirmation that I got my Last Night of the Proms tickets. And they're in the stalls... SCORE! Time to bring out the funny big hat and flags, rehearse the words to all our favourite patriotic songs and start practising the bounces in formal attire! Oh yeah! And this year, I'm on the hunt for a car horn... they're bringing back the Sailor's Hornpipe. Yes!
Anyway, this chapter was quite exhausting to write. Lots of emotions running high in me and now I'm absolutely ready for bed! But I had to finish this chapter and upload it... I'm on a creative roll and I'm taking full advantage :D Also, the piece of music mentioned in this is Chopin's Prelude in E Minor Op 28, no. 4. If you want to listen to it I've posted it onto my LJ wall which is linked in my profile. It's not essential, I hope you'll get mood of the scene without listening to it but still, it's a wonderful piece if you're interested.
Hope you enjoy it! And don't forget to let me know what you thought.
Lillibet x
One last thing, I've uploaded two chapters in quick succession so just make sure you've read chapter 10 beforehand or this one won't make that much sense... ok enough with the ramblings...
Chapter 11
Severus made his way into the Lestrange household, nodding his greeting as he passed Wilkes and Avery.
"We're hunting tonight my friend," Wilkes said as he slung an arm over Severus' shoulder.
"Hunting?" Severus said, trying to sound interested.
"Benji Fenwick," Avery said as he joined them.
"Benji..?" Severus stopped walking and turned to look at his former school friends. "He's one of..."
"Dumbledore's?" Wilkes finished for him with a broad grin. "Yeah he is, been causing a lot of trouble for us at the Ministry."
"What do you say Snape? Up for some fun?" Avery clapped a heavy hand on his back and Severus forced out a slight smirk.
"I must see our Master first, then perhaps..." He left his sentence open as he left Wilkes and Avery jostling with each other in anticipation of tonight's activities.
Severus slowly stepped into the study and Bellatrix turned on him instantly.
"Here he is... Dumbledore's lapdog!" She spat gleefully and waved her wand dangerously under Severus' neck.
"Silence!" The Dark Lord's voice rang through the room and Bellatrix immediately stepped away from Severus. "You have information for me Severus?" He asked, beckoning Severus over to him.
"You asked me to track the Order's movements tonight my Lord." The Dark Lord looked pleased at the prospect of news and he leaned forward in his chair to look at Severus. "Most members of the Order will be away tonight, they think they have information on where you are hiding." The Dark Lord barked a laugh and indicated for Severus to continue. "I can tell you my Lord that the Ministry will be unprotected tonight. Benji Fenwick and Alastor Moody are the only Order members there. If my Lord wishes to make an attack, tonight would be the most opportunistic."
"Excellent!" The Dark Lord stood from his chair and sneered at his followers. "Go Bellatrix; take the group to the Ministry!" Severus watched the crazed witch fly from the room. His mind was whirling. The trap these people would be walking into wouldn't fail but he couldn't help but wonder what would happen to Fenwick.
"You are not going with them my Lord?" Severus asked carefully, surprised that he wouldn't be joining such an epic milestone in his plan to take over the wizarding authorities.
"No my faithful servant, tonight, I have more important matters to attend to." He drifted across the room and Severus followed him, keeping a cautious few steps behind him.
"Please my Lord, may I ask..?" The Dark Lord whipped around to look at Severus and he tried not to flinch at the sudden movement but he still took a step back.
"I," he said in a sing song way. "Am searching for the chosen one," he said with bright eyes. "I know where they are Severus..." And with that the Dark Lord vanished.
Severus felt as if his chest had caved in on itself. He couldn't mean... He raced down the hall, heading for the fire place when someone stepped out of the shadows.
"You!" Severus shouted, pointing his wand into the other man's face.
"Yes Severus, it is I..." Peter Pettigrew smiled maliciously and pushed Severus' wand away from his face.
"What are you doing here?" Severus asked suspiciously. Albus had not said anything about sending another spy into their fold.
"Serving our Master," he whispered. "I have given him there the whereabouts of the Potters, he will kill them Severus and then... nothing will be in his way!" Wormtail laughed, his eyes rolling back in his head making him seem insane.
Severus didn't know what to say to Wormtail's revelation. He was stunned! How could he... a Gryffindor, betray his friends? Severus shook his head, he had to stop this! He grabbed the front of Wormtail's robes and pushed him up against the wall.
"Where are they Pettigrew?" He asked, furiously. "Where did you send him?"
"God... Godric's Hollow..." He stammered, alarmed and confused at Severus' outburst.
"You will take me there!" Severus pulled Wormtail into the fire place that took them to Borgin and Burkes. He continued to drag the traitorous snitch out of the shop and the two of them apparated to Godric's Hollow.
As soon as his feet hit the floor Severus looked up to see a small house in front of him. Wormtail pointed to it.
"There, that's it!" He said, looking up at Severus with terror in his eyes.
Severus looked up at a small window and took a step toward the house. There was a sudden flash of green light and his heart stopped. NO! Please Gods, no! He went to take another step when he saw another flash of green and suddenly the pain in his left arm was unbearable. He collapsed on the floor with an agonised scream, his eyes clenched shut and he could hear the cries of Wormtail behind him as he too fell to the floor. Severus forced his eyes open and he looked up just in time to see the side of the house explode; glass and wood rained down on him as a screaming shadow passed over them and disappeared into the night sky. Severus staggered to his feet and in the background he could hear Wormtail muttering something.
"Get out of here!" Severus barked at him and Wormtail immediately took off. Severus looked up at the house and time seemed to slow down as he headed inside, searching of what his desolate heart already knew he would find.
-x-
"Severus?"
Severus opened his eyes to see that they were standing outside the door to his office. Sir John was looking at him with a worried expression but he knew it hadn't been his voice that had brought him out of his dark thoughts.
"Severus?" He suddenly realised that there was a warm hand in his and he closed his eyes again, taking something, he didn't know what, from the security of its sturdiness. He turned to the person next to him and opened his eyes. He had expected to see pity or apprehension in her expression but instead, Professor McGonagall stood before him as confidently and unyielding as ever. It was good to know there was still some certainty in his world.
He turned his attention to his Dolor Altor and nodded his head. Sir John opened the door for them and when Severus led his former Professor through the door and the tapestry in his office he heard the door to his private chambers open too. Sir John remained quiet the whole time for which Severus was glad. Despite some of the things he often threatened Sir John with; he did actually like the painted man.
"I'll give you some space lad," Sir John said with a comforting smile. "You know where to find me should you need anything." Severus nodded and was surprised when Sir John gave him a slight bow.
"Thank you Sir John," Severus muttered. He stood in the middle of his rooms, not sure what to do with himself. He felt her thumb stoke his knuckles once and he looked down at the hand he still clasped in his own. He knew he should drop it, he should let go of her but he couldn't. He once let go of Lily's hand and look where that had gotten him...
"Severus," her voice was soothing and warm. "Will you play for me?" She asked, brushing her thumb over his knuckles again. He nodded, remembering why he brought her here in the first place and led her over to the piano.
Severus withdrew his wand and extended the piano stool before pulling Professor McGonagall down onto the seat with him. They both sat facing the piano for a moment, hand in hand, lost in their own thoughts. Severus placed his other hand on top of hers and once again began to tap his fingers across her skin. When he'd been in her rooms he hadn't quite realised what he'd been doing until she spoke to him. He'd never done it to another person before. When he was a child the action had been a comforting way to block out the sounds of his father's voice, it was his way to escape the reality of what was happening around him. He hadn't done this since the night he finally left his father's house for the last time. He'd been 18.
"Do you know Chopin?" He asked, placing his right hand on the keys while he kept hold of her hand with the other.
"Not as well as I should like," she answered quietly and Severus nodded.
"Chopin wrote a series of Preludes... I found them once in the library in – Spinner's End," he choked on the name of the village where he grew up but moved on quickly. "Opus 28, number 4."
Severus finally untangled his hand from hers and began to play. The music was just as haunting and wonderful as he remembered, the simple melody changing back and forth between two notes before descending. He hadn't played like this in a long time. He closed his eyes when there was a pause in the music and he took a breath. He could feel the tension building in his chest, the previous day's emotion making him press the keys harder than was necessary. He poured everything he was feeling into the music. He continued with the piece, returning to the beginning but this time going through a different string of harmonies. It built in him, the music soaring to a bittersweet climax before descending again, falling into the three-chord ending. It was exquisite... he was exhausted.
"Suffocation," he said, removing his hands from the keys. "That's what people call it." He turned to look at his former teacher beside him. Her eyes were closed but tears streamed down her face as she cried silently.
Severus felt something break inside his chest when she finally opened her eyes to look at him. He could see exactly what he was feeling in her eyes, she mirrored him completely. He was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to touch her and after a moment's hesitation he brought his hand to her face and brushed her cheek with the back of his fingers. Her eyes fluttered closed and she did something that he least expected. She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder. He froze for a second until he felt one of her arms circle around his back and he found his own wrapping around her slight frame.
Just over 24 hours ago he'd done the same thing with Lily. He'd held her as her flesh cooled under his fingers, her lifeless arms dangled by her side. Severus breathed deeply, swallowing his tears and he pressed his nose into Professor McGonagall's hair. She was still warm, the arm around his waist tightened and the other slowly lifted to the piano. He watched her fingers dance across the keys lightly, barely making a noise but Severus could hear every note clearly in his head. He tightened his arms around her, bringing one hand up to brush across her neck and he could feel the reassuring pulse under his finger tips. The image of Lily's unresponsive body on the floor of the nursery slowly filtering from his mind as he allowed himself to fall against the woman he held. Holding her close he listened to her steady breathing and concentrated on the rhythmic pulse under his fingers...
-x-
Severus woke with a start, forcing his body to sit up quickly and he found himself being wrapped in someone's arms. He relaxed as soon as he felt her hands rubbing circles across his back. He closed his eyes and buried his face in her neck as he tried to push the images out of his mind.
"Don't ignore them Severus," she whispered into his ear as if she knew what he was thinking. "You must confront whatever it is that you're feeling." He pulled back to look into her eyes and he knew instantly that she didn't know. For a second he had wondered if Albus had told her of Lily, told her why he was there... but looking at her now he could see the uncertainty. She had a feeling, but true to her character she wouldn't make the leap without the facts.
"Is that what you did?" Severus moved away from her slightly and realised he was in bed. He couldn't remember how he got there.
"No." She said, sadly. "And because of that... I still live it every day."
"What happened to him?" Severus asked, feeling drawn to her in that moment. "Your husband?"
"He was murdered Severus," she said in a factual tone that surprised him. "Murdered at our home..."
"In front of you," he stated, remembering what he'd over heard in the library that day.
"Yes."
"Who did it?"
"Adelwolf Rosier and his friends." Her eyes studied him, waiting for the connection to drop and Severus blanched slightly when the realisation hit him.
"Evan Rosier's father?" He stared at Professor McGonagall, horrified at her information. He had been close friends with Evan when they had attended Hogwarts together, what must she think of him? "Was it... did the Dark Lord send them?" He asked, leaning toward her, knowing that Adelwolf had had strong ties within the Dark Lord's followers.
"I doubt that he did," she said with a wry smile. "I don't think You-Know-Who cared about the details of my marriage."
"Then why –"
"Because I married a muggle." She said cutting him off. Severus had to admit he was taken aback. He thought back to what Sir John had said to him all that time ago.
"She left, disappeared. She signed her sisters' name as caretaker for the estate and left."
Had her muggle husband been the reason for her disappearance? Had she done it to protect him?
"You seem surprised," she said softly, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips.
"There are lots of us who..." he paused, catching what he'd said. Us. "There are many witches and wizards who fall in love with muggles, why would you be any different?"
"I was destined to marry well," she said with a dry laugh. If she'd heard his slip, she didn't give him any indication that she had. "In other words, I was expected to marry a pure blood."
"They killed your husband because they didn't like your decision?" There must have been more to it. He watched his colleague study him for a second and from the way she was looking at him, he thought she wasn't going to tell him anything more.
"I believe they killed him as punishment. I was what they called 'reckless' in those days and recklessness in women was not tolerated amongst pure blood families."
"Did they give you that scar too?" He asked and he knew he was pushing too far but Professor McGonagall gave him a gentle smile.
"Not this one," she said softly.
This one? There were more? Severus was about to question her further but she suddenly stood up from his bed.
"You should rest; I doubt you've had much sleep." She placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him down under the covers. He opened his mouth to say something but she placed her index finger on his lips. "Not tonight Severus, I can't talk about this tonight."
There was something in her eyes, a sadness so deep that he believed he could almost see her soul weeping. Just as she was about to leave he grabbed the hand that was pulling away from his lips and held it flat against his cheek. Professor McGonagall turned back to him and this time he could see pity in her eyes. That wasn't what he wanted. She brushed his cheek with her thumb and ran her other hand over his forehead affectionately. As Severus looked up into her breathtaking face he couldn't help the longing he felt for her. He desperately wanted to touch her lips.
"Sleep, Severus," she whispered, breaking his thoughts. He nodded and let go of her hand allowing her to move away from him. He felt both relieved and disappointed at the loss of her warmth but he ignored it. His thoughts were chaotic as he looked up at her.
He missed Lily... he was feeling this because he missed her... he was grieving her death... it had to be about Lily...it was all about Lily...
He watched Professor McGonagall leave his bedroom and the longing for her touch returned. He closed his eyes.
Wasn't it?
Well, hope you liked it... let me know what you thought :D xxx
