AN: Thanks so much for your lovely and insightful reviews. I love hearing your opinions and you point out things that I haven't thought about before. Very interesting, keep it up :)
Chapter 11: Bullet
"Where is he?" my mind screams, as I walk into the fitness room, searching for a sign of Jared.
I've been able to keep my cool around Bella, knowing how she'd be upset if I'd do anything stupid. All through yesterday I tried to ignore my own rage, while trying to get Bella to leave her bed and do stuff, like getting dressed, and eat. She's been locked up inside herself and even though she never pushed me away, she's lost her fighting spirit.
The image of her depressed form, lying on her bed, when she was feeling so good lately, got stuck in my mind as I was driving to work today. Alone in my car: there's no way I could have convinced her to come along. It fed my rage up to a point where I'm ready now to destroy whatever is left of Jared's nose.
But unfortunately, I can't find him anywhere.
"There he is, our hero!" Paul shouts as he walks over to me.
Then he adds in a quiet voice, "How is Bella? Is she feeling any better?"
I suddenly remember that I lied to him about the reason she left so soon.
When I hesitate to reply, he gives me a knowing look and says, "she's not really ill, is she?"
I mutter, "I'm not sure how much I'm allow to say."
"We all saw her leave, Jacob, and we saw his bleeding nose right after. We can put two and two together. Is she here today?"
"Nope, she refuses to come back," I say with clear sadness.
"That jerk," Paul mutters, "you should tell Peter about it."
"I'm sure she doesn't want that."
"Fine, if you don't wanna be the bad guy, then I'll tell him. Somebody needs to. We could kick his ass until his pretty face will never look the same, but then we'll get suspended instead of him. The problem is that I don't know what happened, I can only say what he's been talking about and the stuff I saw after the game."
"He'll never get suspended anyway," I mutter, "he's Jared Cameron, remember?"
"Maybe. But if Bella doesn't come back because of what he did, the players will start to ask questions. What did he do, Jacob? Did he rape her?"
"No," I shake my head and ignore the new rage that hits me, just to think of what would have happened if Bella hadn't punched him. "But he might as well have. Bella has some trust issues with men. Let's just say her dad and brother weren't very nice to her and she's just starting to trust me. That's the reason why she broke his nose as soon as he touched her."
"Hmm, but he wanted to?" Paul asks.
"Maybe," I reply, and then remember how Bella said she always had a bad feeling about him, not just his stupid macho remarks, but the way he enjoyed her fear and liked to feel power over her. So I add, "probably."
"You have to tell Peter," Paul concludes, and I know he's right.
I nod slowly.
"Do you want me to come along?"
"No, that's okay. I'll go right now."
Half an hour later Peter and I walk into the work out room, where Peter explains to the other players that Jared is suspended for the time being.
They all like to know the real story behind the rumors about Bella, but as he promised me, Peter remains discrete. He knows that the team will make up version of their own, but doesn't mind.
I expected him to make up excuses for Jared, to try and protect his big star, but when I told him what happened to Bella just now, he got furious. I've never seen Peter this mad.
Immediately, he got on the phone with Jared, who was in the waiting room of a famous doctor, specialized in broken noses.
Peter's voice sounded cold, but the anger was clear. He told Jared about his suspension and the conditions for return. Jared has to confess to the players what he did, apologize to Bella in front of the whole team, pay a huge penalty for both the club and Bella for suffered damage.
On top of that, he has to volunteer in a shelter for abused women, just so that he learns how to treat a woman, which is a basic form of respect, whether you are Jared Cameron or not. If he refuses to meet any of these conditions, he can go find another team to play for.
The only mercy Jared will get is that this story won't be shared with the media. That would put the whole team in a bad spotlight. We'll tell them he got injured during the game, which would explain his disappointed expression after the game was finished. Of course the press picked up on that and the newspapers wonder if maybe Jared wasn't happy for the team.
The next days neither Jared nor Bella return.
After Peter's press release, Jared is back to being a public hero, who finishes a game after getting injured without any sign of pain.
But I don't care what the papers write. I know it will be torture for him to lose his pride in front of the team mates, who pretty much hate him for hurting Bella, and he'll suffer when watching me play from the sidelines for weeks.
Maybe it's better if he never apologizes at all and finds a new place to go. I can't imagine Bella or the teammates to forgive him anyway.
At the moment, Jared isn't my biggest worry though.
Bella is.
She only eats what I prepare for her after I come home from practice, and when I call her during my lunch, she's still in bed, often asleep. I'm afraid that this fallback will result in a proper depression, much like the one that ruined our friendship when we were younger.
That is why I'm skipping the afternoon practice today with big plans to take her out to the movies. I need her to get out of the house and think of something else. I decide to not bring up her internship today. Just for one day, we'll pretend the team doesn't exist.
When walking up the stairs, I prepare myself for a big effort in convincing her to get out of bed and dress up for a date.
But when I walk in, I find her fully dressed on the couch, next to Peter, who has one of his arms around her shoulder.
I instantly know something is going on.
I can't point out what tips me off right away, but I just know it.
It's not as if they are doing something wrong or as if he has no right to be here. I saw for myself how upset Peter was that one of his players hurt his intern. He feels responsible and he's been trying to figure out a way to get her to finish the internship without running into Jared. It makes sense that he comes to visit her, and explain that he wants to help her feel comfortable in the team again. I also notice the card he brought, a "get well soon" card signed by all the players.
No, him being here isn't a surprise.
And it's not as if she's holding him or leaning in; his arm is simply there. Or as if the light is back in her eyes now he is here. Apart from being dressed, she looks just as sad as she did all week.
The thing that isn't right about this situation is that Bella allows him to touch her in the first place.
There is no distance between them on the couch, and I know how difficult it is for her to let men near, especially now. She looks like she trusts him.
And the other thing bothering me is her taking a little more distance and looking at the floor when I walk in, as if she's ashamed.
She's hiding something.
She's hiding many things, I knew that, but I didn't think it would be Peter.
It just took me one second to figure all this out, and the next thought popping into my head is what a fool I've been making of myself. Loving her the way I do, when she and him…
Before I can think of an explanation for this, and start to wonder if she lied when she said I was the only one she ever kissed, Peter gets up and talks.
"Hi, Jacob, I've made an arrangement with Bella about her internship with us."
If he is at all surprised or uncomfortable about me returning home early, he doesn't show it. I fight the urge to push him out the door or bolt myself, and force myself to act my part. The part of the friend and concerned roommate.
Nothing more.
I look at Bella who is still staring at her feet.
"Are you coming back?"
She nods and Peter replies in her place, "we'll start by just returning, being part of the team and being around us, without any physiotherapy just yet. The players feel like she should be around, now we're on number one. When one of us is injured, and can't practice, we don't stay home either."
He continues his speech, which I'm sure he prepared well, in the exact same words he used to convince her.
"As soon as she feels comfortable again, she can resume the therapy. Jared stays suspended until the end of the internship in a month, and after that, if she likes a position with us, we'll make sure she never has to work with him again."
"That's, um, that's great, sounds good."
At this Peter gets up from the couch and takes his coat from the coffee table.
"I'll leave you two then…" he hesitates and looks at Bella as if he wants to add something and then simply mumbles, "see you tomorrow."
I'm still frozen in place so he lets himself out.
When a minute later, Bella and me are still un-moving, she mutters, "I never planned to go back, but he said he's been meaning to offer me a permanent position, so I guess I have to think about my future."
It sounds almost like an apology, as if I wouldn't be glad that she's returning.
All the while, she still hasn't looked up, and I'm even more sure now that she's hiding something.
But I've been foolish enough. I won't ask her.
I simply reply, "you're right. I'm happy that you're coming back."
I can't stand to be near her any longer, so I'm looking for an excuse to go back to work. I actually regret coming home to check in on her in the first place. For all I know they're both cursing about me interrupting their private meeting.
I'm surprised when Bella suddenly stands next to me, this time looking for eye contact.
"It's not what you think," she whispers.
A little louder than I intend to, I answer, "how would you know what I think?"
"I know you Jacob, and I know what it looks like, from your perspective." She then sighs and whispers, "it's probably way worse."
"I don't believe I want to know," I answer and rush out of the door.
When I get into my car, I realize I don't want to go back and risk running into him. So I just wait there, undecided.
Until I get a text from her.
"Can you at least let me explain so that you know what you're angry about?"
She makes a good point, but I still don't want to hear it. She'll break my heart.
And still. There's so many questions.
About an hour later, I reluctantly walk back up the stairs, like a convicted on death row.
She will crush me, but I'm ready. I'll need the answers eventually anyway, and I'm no longer being foolish.
I knew she'd been hiding things from me, but I could live with that, as long as she wasn't sharing her secrets with someone else.
As long as she wasn't flat out lying to me.
Things have changed now. No matter what her explanation will be, I won't be foolish again.
When I open the door, I find her in the same spot I left her in. She's shivering and I have to keep myself from holding her and warm her up.
Not this time.
I close the door behind me, lean against it, with my eyes closed, ready for the bullet and order, "go ahead."
AN: Sorry about the cliffhanger. How do you think he'll respond?
