Canis Lupus

Chapter Ten: Birthday Blues (or: The Tax Man Cometh)

--

Year 1, Spring 15th (Monday)

*Sigh...*

I sat in my quiet homeshed, staring at the ceiling and feeling depressed.

Although things had gotten better for me since the incident at the Cooking Festival (and the disastrous aftermath), I was still feeling pretty down. The reason was pretty simple, really: it was my birthday today, and I hadn't gotten so much as a card.

Then again, since you probably want to know what else happened today, I'll rewind a little; to when I got up...

--

The alarm clock blasted with its familiar buzz. I'd owned this particular clock since I was in first grade, so hearing it wake me up was comforting, in a way. Not that I was in any state to feel pleasant...

Oh, yeah. My stuff showed up day before yesterday. In addition to more clothes (including some nicer stuff to wear to festivals), I'd gotten a few of my more useful personal effects, such as my old alarm clock and my camera. I'd also received a ticket from Flower Bud Village, indicating that a small fine was due from the last time I'd used my camera in public.

That's a ridiculously short and painful story that can wait for another time, though.

As I woke up, I dealt with my usual morning routine, slowly restarting my mind to process the tasks at hand today.

I'd finished putting up my horse fence, with Stu's 'help' (actually, he'd just chased Pyro around with a stick, but since he couldn't catch up to Pyro I chose not to interfere), but I'd need to feed my new chicken, Chihiro (May named it, much to Stu's distaste), and of course my crops needed watering, and probably harvesting. I didn't really track when they were planted versus when I pulled them out of the ground, but it felt like a harvest day to me.

And now I had that ticket to add to the list. Of course, I'd paid half that fine for the camera itself, but I'd pay it off anyway, when I could. It'd put a serious dent in my budget for a while, though...

But that would be nothing like the dent the next surprise would put in my wallet...

--

Walking out the door, I found that someone was waiting for me. He was a tall, lean figure in a black three-piece suit, pale as death in complexion and wearing shades; as if to accentuate his evil vibes...

If it weren't for the wild afro, I'd have taken him pretty darn seriously. With it, though, I was just on my guard.

"Can I help you, sir?"

"Ah," Darkness replied, "you would be Magnus Smythe, then?"

"And if I was?"

He pulled out a business card and handed it to me. "My name is Sam Brewer, and I work with the Internal Revenue Service. I have some business to discuss involving your late grandfather."

"So speak," I said, sitting down on the porch step as I did so. Since I doubt the IRS would've sent someone personally if I was owed money, I wasn't going to be hospitable to Mr. Brewer.

...At least, not until after I knew exactly how much he wanted me to pay...

"Well," he began, "your grandfather owned this farm up until his death two years ago. However, during the last three years of his life, he failed to pay the necessary property taxes on this farm."

"Right," I said, interrupting him, "Uncle Sam is short on cash, and you told your bosses you could shake this place down a little; now that there was someone to run it. Since my grandpa was incapable of working for the last few years of his life, and spent them in the care of the town, he couldn't make any income, and therefore couldn't pay taxes. Naturally. So cut the crap and tell me how much you're extorting out of me, weasel."

"That was quite unnecessary," he replied.

"How much?"I repeated, losing patience.

Mr. Brewer sighed. "The back taxes on this property are equal to 500,000G, due three years after someone assumes responsibility for the property. If they're left unpaid, then all rights to this property default to the US Government, to dispense as it sees fit. You're rather fortunate that you managed to surface just before the statute of limitations ran out for a relative or other beneficiary to assume responsibility for this estate."

"Right. And I assume that all taxes normally incurred by my ownership and use of this property still apply, right?"

"That is correct."

"Thank you for informing me of this issue then," I said, at my kindest and most civil. "Now get the hell off my property before I take a blunt axe to your head, you disgusting sycophantic parasite. I have half a mind to give you what you deserve right now, consequences be damned."

As Sammy the Tax Man ran off, clearly affronted by my "Completely Uncalled For" hostile behavior, I ran in to get my tools.

Fully awake now, I could tell that it was going to be one of those days...

--

After the usual chores were done, I got my hammer and axe and went to the smithy. I'd spent some free time over the past few days collecting ore to repair my equipment, since I'd never get anything done with my tools in the shape they were in. I could do a little maintenance on my own, but I lacked the equipment and skills to do any serious fixes...

...And so I found myself in Saibara's Smithy.

"Those tools are in horrible shape, boy," a voice from the shadows told me.

Tracking where the voice was coming from, I saw a somewhat grizzled old man step out of the small gap between the forge and the wall. This, I assumed, would be Saibara.

"I know," I replied, "That's why I'm here."

Without much pretense, he took the axe and hammer I'd brought along with me and examined them critically.

"Hmph. At least you know how to clean a tool up. I can probably fix these, but I'll have to re-forge them to do it. It'll cost you 1000G per, and I'll need you to pick up some iron ore before I can do anything. You'll find some at the local mine, up the trail by your farm, just at the base of the hill. Can't miss it."

"I know." I plonked down the money, and with it the ore Gray said I'd need. "Gray told me about the ore requirements one night over dinner. Said you had him mining there for weeks before he found what you wanted him to get."

"Did he now?" Saibara looked thoughtful for a moment, then turned away from the counter and put my tools on a workbench by the back wall. "Hmph. Glad to know he's actually learning something. Your tools will be ready in a couple of days, Mr. Smythe. Now, head over to the Inn and tell my grandson that his break's over, would you please?"

"Sure thing," I replied, dashing off for the Inn then and there.

I was looking forward to having an axe and hammer that I could actually use...

--

When I got to the Inn, I discovered that Gray had gone over to the local library.

Thanking Doug for the info, I then dashed off in the direction he'd pointed me towards. I hadn't really been this way before, since business had usually sent me to the woods north of town, or else to the store, town hall, and other areas on the south end of the square (or of course, to the clinic, which was just across the street from the smithy)...

Of course, I was still running. And because I was still running, I wasn't really watching where I was going. So it really shouldn't come as a surprise that I ran into someone on the way.

Bouncing off of this someone like a pinball, I was forced to change gears for a minute.

Looking at the other side of my car-free wreck, I found I'd run into a man dressed much as I was. Blue jeans, a button-up shirt in emerald green, a brown leather jacket zipped up to mimic a sport coat, and a fedora matching the shirt in color. The whole thing indicated he'd probably seen the Indiana Jones films when they came out, and enjoyed them to boot.

I didn't mix styles like that, but I could tell that this gentleman and I shared a taste in clothing at the very least.

"Ah," he said, "You must be the new farmer in town. That saves me some time, since I was just heading over to your place. Allow me to introduce myself, my name's Basil Jones. Well, Professor Basil Jones, if you want to be formal about it. And you are?"

"Magnus Smythe," I replied. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Jones."

Basil laughed. Since I'd been faking a British accent on that line, it wasn't really a surprise.

"Considering how often I hear that at work," he said, "You'd think I'd get tired of it..."

"Just shows you can appreciate the joke, I guess."

Basil nodded. "When you adopt a leather jacket and a fedora with my surname, you might as well get used to the inevitable. I'd like to talk with you about your work, actually, so when would be a good time?"

I thought about it. "Well, I've got to track down the blacksmith's grandson first, so that he can help Saibara fix my worn-out tools. Then I was just planning to head to the woods and forage for a bit. Maybe I'll check with the local carpenter first, so I can get an estimate on getting my house out of a 'Condemned' status."

"Alright, I'll follow you into the woods for a while. Maybe I can show you some of the more valuable plants that grow wild in the area. Then I'll drop by your place first thing tomorrow, and you can show me around. Sound good?"

I nodded. "Sounds perfect. I'll duck into the library real quick, and we'll be on our way."

With that said, I headed into the Mineral Town Public Library without further incident. There, I found Gray reading at one of the tables on the first floor, and gave him a gentle nudge to send him off.

But just as I was about to head out myself, I heard a stack of books call out for assistance.

"Gray, could you give me a hand before these- oh, thanks. Ah... oh..."

The girl in front of me blushed. I figured I'd better introduce myself before I scared her off.

"Sorry, I just sent Gray back to work. My name's Magnus, it's nice to meet you."

The black-haired girl mumbled a reply that I didn't quite catch, and (somewhat timidly) returned my handshake.

"Mary, have you seen where your father went?" a voice from the stairwell asked.

"He just headed outside, Mom." The girl replied, in a slightly more confident tone. Apparently, she was just a little shy with meeting new people. Having similar troubles, I could relate.

"Well, Mary, I need to head out. Your dad was rather interested in teaching me the local botany, and I'm not one to skip a free lesson. We'll probably be in the forest outside of town if you need to contact us. Nice meeting you!"

Mary nodded, and went over to the receptionist's desk. I headed back out of the library, and found Basil waiting for me.

"Well then, ready to head out?" he asked.

I nodded, then dashed after him as fast as I could go. Apparently Basil was a man with energy.

Made me wonder if I could keep up...

--

Over in the woods, Basil taught me how to identify the most valuable plants that grew in the area; as well as which ones were edible, which ones tasted really good, and occasionally which ones were both. He was just as kinetic as I'd feared, never really stopping for anything.

He also knew all the side paths and game trails, meaning that he could move through the woods in ways and places I'd never imagined were navigable.

Of course, since he was wearing a leather jacket, sometimes his paths were a little more likely to scratch me up than they were him. Plus, he didn't always remember that I wasn't as familiar with the local terrain as he was, which meant I sometimes lost sight of him. And since I was completely turned around, that was a pretty bad thing.

It takes a lot to get me lost, but Basil had a talent for twisty paths that Dedalus would've envied.

Finally, we'd found our way back to Gotz's cabin, which marked the line between the town and the woods.

Basil cheerfully said his goodbyes, and told me to keep everything we collected; which was enough to fill my backpack pretty much up, so I was guessing I'd made a pretty good profit there (for forage, anyway). Then he headed home, where I assumed an angry wife awaited him.

Nevertheless, I waved, and told him I looked forward to tomorrow's visit.

What can I say? The man's energy rubbed off a little.

Gotz was back from looking my house over by the time I'd started heading towards the inn for some dinner. Since his first question was whether or not I owned a pair of ruby slippers, I was guessing that the news wasn't too good.

"Nah, but I do have a dog, if that counts for anything..."

Gotz shook his head and chuckled. "Well, the good news is that you've got all the materials I need to fix it up. I'll even throw in a bedroom and a kitchen, and expand the bathroom for ya."

"Sounds good," I said, "and how much will it set me back?"

Gotz shrugged, "5,000G. However, if you can't pay that right now, I seriously recommend getting a room at the inn. You're lucky it's stayed up this long, and I'm pretty sure that it won't last another season."

I nodded, and checked my wallet. It encompassed the grand sum of 4,230G, not quite enough to cover the costs.

Plus, I still had dinner to buy, and a room to rent out at the inn if my house was being renovated, and I'd need more seeds to plant after my next harvest...

I looked into my backpack. Well... maybe another 1,000G or so...

Then I remembered the fine I owed. And the back taxes on my property. And the backpack upgrade I was trying to save up for...

I sighed. "I don't have 5,000G. Is it alright if I pay you 3,500 now, and the rest when I can?"

Gotz considered this. "I don't like to do jobs on credit," he said. "It doesn't set a good precedent. I need to eat, after all; and I don't get much work out here, either..."

I held my hands up in a gesture of submission. "I don't like credit either," I said. "But I'm up against the wall right now, financially; and since you've decided that my house is officially unlivable..."

Gotz considered this, and nodded. "Alright," he said, "but just this once, kid. And I'll be wanting you to pay me the rest before I'm done with the job, understand?"

I nodded, gave him the 3,500G I had, and headed over to clear my stuff out of the house.

Fortunately, I hadn't unpacked the boxes I'd gotten from home yet, so this wouldn't be too much of a challenge.

--

When I got into my house, I gave Pyro a quick pat on the head, and got my stuff together to move out.

To my surprise, a small package had been left on my bed.

That someone had left it inside my house wasn't a surprise at all. The lock on my door had been broken at least since I'd moved in, and I'd found out when it last rained that my porch was slanted the wrong way. I almost had to build an ark, the flooding was so bad.

So Harris could easily slip in and leave my packages on the bed, and that's just what he'd been doing for the few years my grandpa had still been living here.

No, the surprise was that I had gotten anything at all. No one would've remembered my birthday here, and my parents had sent me my clothes close enough to my birthday for that to count.

Opening the box, I found that it contained a package of printer paper. With an invoice printed on each and every sheet.

Apparently, the news that a leachable substance had taken up the property had gotten around.

I'd burn them all later, after I'd added up exactly how much I apparently owed to whom.

I laid back on my bed and sighed, staring at the ceiling and feeling depressed. It was my birthday, and all I'd gotten were a bunch of bills for services rendered to a dead man.

I love the spirit of human generosity...

--

Anyway, I got my stuff together and headed over to the Inn as soon as I'd gotten myself together. Doug greeted me, told me that Gotz had been by, and that he'd let the room out for free, meals included.

I nodded my thanks, and started to head for the stairs.

This is when the phone rang.

Now, the Perch Inn is the only establishment in Mineral Town with a public telephone. When you look the town up in the area's phonebook, it's listed as the number for local information. So, if the phone rang here, it could've been for anyone. Nonetheless, I actually beat Doug to the receiver, despite being over four times as far away from it.

Answering, it turned out to be the one person I'd been hoping would call.

"Hi Mom."

My mom's voice came through the receiver, loud and clear. She wished me a happy birthday, and asked how I was doing.

"I'm doing fine, Mom. Still getting started, but I could be a lot worse off than that."

"Glad to hear it, honey. Please, try to talk to us when you have the time. We still care about you, you know..."

"Yes mom. Sorry I haven't called, I've been a little busy. How're things at home?"

Well, the pleasantries went back and forth for a while, and we both said our reluctant goodbyes a few minutes later. Setting the receiver down, I decided that I wanted a meal before I went up to my room.

It'd give me time to sit down and soak things in.

"Sure thing, Magnus," a voice beside me answered. "Who were you on the phone with?"

I looked over, and saw Karen sitting down beside me. After telling her what I'd been on the phone for, she smiled, and told me she'd cover the tab tonight.

"Thanks," I said, neglecting to mention that my meals were already on the house. I wasn't really in the mood to talk much.

A piece of chocolate cake was set in front of me.

"Should've mentioned your birthday was today," Ann said, "I could've made you a whole cake from scratch."

I shook my head, saying that I didn't like my birthday to be too big a deal. Karen then smacked me upside the head.

"Don't give me that, Magnus. You were pretty depressed that no one had remembered, and don't deny it."

Since there was nothing I could say to that, I just nodded and concentrated on my slice of cake.

It wasn't too bad, really, even if it wasn't some extravagant thing...

I actually hadn't been kidding when I said I didn't like my birthday to be too big of a deal. But then again, the little touches are so much better, in my opinion. That's what you cherish more, and remember with greater fondness. Big spectacles are for kids.

I ate quietly, talked for a while with Karen, Ann, and later on, Rick; and then headed up toward my room.

Cliff was there already, laying back and staring at the ceiling. Gray was in a corner, reading the same book I'd seen him with at the library. I took up the third bunk quietly, and fell right asleep without saying hello. It had been a pretty long day.

But nonetheless, I'd enjoyed it. Even if I was now about 1,000,000G in the hole, I had people who cared enough to give me a bit of consolation and some quiet company.

It wasn't much, but it was enough. It was really all I needed, when all was said and done.

A friend.

--

Author's Note: Yes, it's back from the dead. At least, for now...

Again, my apologies for killing it. With this chapter, the 'Director's Cut Edition' is done, and we'll be going back to the system of me throwing a chapter out the moment I've finished spewing it onto the paper.

Hopefully, I'll be done spewing on the next one shortly.

Of course... With the teaser and the fact that I split a chapter in half... This is now technically Chapter 11. Silly irony, I know; but still amusing.