Author's Note: If you don't cry (or cry from laughing) during this chapter and you are a Bonney fan, then please eat something spicy, then cry. I reccomend Doritos.
Disclaimer: I still only own my OCs.
That afternoon, I meet up with Bonney near the Cornucopia, where the Careers are hoarding their food.
"Are you sure they haven't rigged this place with explosives?" I ask Bonney, who scoffs.
"We got this. We're hipsters, so we should be fine," Bonney explains. Just as we're about to move from behind the bush, Pandaman runs up to the Cornucopia. He stands there for a minute before doing a ninja roll up to the food. He steals some apples, meat, and water and runs away like nothing happened.
"Woah... Is Pandaman part ninja?" I ask myself. Bonney hits the back of my head.
"Didn't you hear me? I said that I would make a sucession of signal fires so the Careers would run all over the place, get confused, go bonkers, and lose the Game," Bonney explains. Is it me, or did I just lose The Game?
"Sounds like a plan," I say. Bonney gets up.
"I'll be near the Career's camp if you need me. If I get into trouble, I'll scream loudly as I can before you find me," Bonney explains before kissing me on the forehead. "We are the greatest alliance that's not mainstream."
I smile as Bonney runs off. I'm so glad to have a hipster friend.
Since I somehow still don't have a bow an arrow, I throw a rock at the food pile. It causes an apple to fall to the ground, which causes an explosion, which blows up the food.
So this is why Pandaman acted like a ninja.
Just as I get up, Jyabura, Kidd, and Kalifa run over and notice the burnt food.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU -" Jyabura screams as he punches the face of the District 3 boy - the Joffery Baratheon cosplayer -, who was walking by and drinking some lemonade. The punch is somehow strong enough to kill the boy. I sweatdrop at the whole thing.
"I swear. Somebody was on crack when they Reaped these Tributes," I think to myself. Then, I smell smoke.
"Cool! A brush fire!" Jyabura exclaims before running off and panting like a dog waiting for Beggin' Strips. Kalifa and Kidd run after him. When the coast is clear, I take all the food and supplies that haven't been burned and I put them all in my backpack.
"Suck it, Careers," I say as I zip up my Hammerspace backpack. But, the joy doesn't last for long.
"Hana! Help me! It feels like I'm trapped in some weird type of S&M foreplay rope!" Bonney yells. My hipster senses are tingling, and I run off to where the source of the voice is. Bonney is there, tangled up in a net. Also there is Kidd, and - Oh, shit. Why does he have that plastic knife covered in ketchup? What's he -
Oh, Dear Yaoi Lord! He stabbed Bonney with that plastic knife that's as harmless as a DVD of the movie Nine!
"Oh, my God! You killed Bonney! You bastard!" I yell before I pull out my handy-dandy Portal gun and vaporize Kidd.
Bitch, nobody kills my hipster friends and gets away with it.
With a sigh, I cut Bonney free from the rope.
"You've gotta win this. I mean, Kidd shanked me to death, so I have no chance of winning," Bonney explains.
"Duh! I'll win! I'm the main character! I got this!" I say.
"Oh, before I die, sing me an indie/alternative song. I'd like to go out as a hipster, not as a poser," Bonney explains. I take her hipster glasses, hipster scarf, and hipster fedora out of her bag and put them on Bonney. I then put a cigarette in between Bonney's fingers as I contemplate what song to sing.
"I've got it!" I say as I snap my fingers. I clear my throat, and I expect a fucking standing ovation.
I sang the song that gets on everybody's nerves.
Third Person P.O.V.
Over in District 11, the Organic Food District, many hipsters watched in shock and agony as Bonney died.
"Why must the good die young?" An aging hipster - who still drank his PBR at the obscure age of 74 - cried.
"That was my girlfriend, you bastard!" The man who Bonney volunteered for, Trafalgar Law, cried. Then, Hana began to sing.
"Oh, for the love of the Vintage God! What is this crap?" A coffee shop barista cried. Law balled his fists up in anger.
"This song... IT'S TOO MAINSTREAM!" Law cried before he punched a Peacekeeper. That night, the hipsters of District 11 rioted in anger over the death of one of their fellow hipsters. Nobody was safe from the wrath of an angry hipster.
Hana's P.O.V.
I'm still crying as they take Bonney's body away. I don't care if I managed to get some more supplies from her pack, I lost an awesome friend.
"Good-bye, Bonney! You were my best friend that isn't Holden!" I yell. I then cry even harder because I miss Holden. God, I wish he'd come over here to give me a hug (or a make-out session).
If not, I wish Thierry would send me ice cream and tons of Hetalia yaoi fanfiction.
Ending Note: Review if you want a parody of the cave scene between Katniss and Peeta!
Ghost of Bonney: "Ooh-La-La!"
Me: "Bonney, please get back to the set of The DysFUNctional Pirates.
