AN: This chapter contains horribly written drunk dialogue and I'd like to apologize in advance.

Tegan's POV

It's been a couple days since the whole Emy fiasco and as far as I know Sara hasn't spoken to her, which makes me incredibly happy. Sara and I haven't really spoken on the matter either, but it's not like I want to. I don't want to be reminded of her feelings for someone other than me. She'll be leaving in a little over a week anyways and once she does, I'll try to get over her. I mean, I have to. I thought I could convince myself that I wasn't as fucked as I thought I was, but I can't. I thought I'd be able to tell her how I feel, but I can't. I cannot face the disgust that I know she'll feel the shame of being my sister. Ugh, I need a drink.

I walk from my dimly lit room and into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine. All I have is red wine because that's the type Sara and I always preferred. I'd offer her some, but she's been in the guest room all day probably writing music about Emy so I don't want to disturb her. I lean against the counter and nurse my wine. It's bitter and sweet and runs down my throat so smooth that I contemplate pouring myself another. What the hell, I have nothing to lose. The first interview isn't until tomorrow afternoon so I figure I could indulge on some wine and I haven't had a good buzz in a while. I quickly chug my current glass and pour myself another. Then I take my glass and the rest of the bottle and go sit on the couch to watch some TV.

It's about 5pm and I've been in my pajamas all day. I managed to go grocery shopping yesterday while Sara was asleep and that's where I picked up some wine. Call it a hunch, but I knew it'd be needed. I also bought her some goldfish crackers since she ate them all so quickly. Anyways, back to my pajamas, I'm just wearing a black tank top and some plaid pj pants. I must look a sight with a wine bottle next to me and Dog the Bounty Hunter on TV. I wonder what Sara would think of me if she saw me right now. Would she be embarrassed of me? Ashamed? Or would she laugh? I would be devastated if she felt that way. I want her to like me. God, I want her to love me. I would treat her like the angel she is. Fuck, I shouldn't be thinking about her. Oh well, drinking more should help.

I'm starting to drink faster. I'm already on my third glass and have a good buzz going on. At this rate, I'll be drunk soon, which is pretty much my goal because my thoughts of Sara will not stop and being drunk seems to be my only option now.

Bottoms up.

Sara's POV

I've been sitting in Tegan's guest room for a few hours now just writing new songs. All about her, yes. We haven't talked much after Emy showed up and I'm starting to miss. I haven't talked to Emy yet either because I have no idea what to say to her, nor do I have anything I want to say to her. She came in here and turned my whole life even more upside down, if that's possible. I had no desire to be with her again, but if I don't want Tegan to find out how I feel, maybe I should. No, that'd be too cruel even for me. Sure Emy broke me and it'd be nice to make her think I loved her again, but even she doesn't deserve that. But what would I tell Tegan? She'll ask why I cut myself, confessed my love, and then proceeded to not date her. I could say it's too far into my past and she knows I don't like to repeat my past. Maybe I could just say that I'll force myself to fall out of love with her, but then she may ask why since Emy told me she loved me and we could potentially work out. Ugh, this hurts me head. I'll dwell on it later, but right now I need a cup of coffee.

I set my lyric book aside and walk out to the kitchen. The living room is dimly lit and I can hear a television show up so that means Tegan must be up and about. She confirmed my suspicions because as soon as I entered the living room Tegan yelled out "hi." She's grinning and her hair is unkempt. There's an empty bottle of wine knocked over on the table. Oh great, she's drunk.

"Sara, Sara come sit down." She slurs and pats the seat next to her. I swallow my nerves and walk towards her. Drunken Tegan could do anything and forget everything. I plop down and she immediately puts her arm around my next and draws me it. "I'm s-sorry. I didn't know you were gonna gonna show up odderwise I would have saved you some wine." She giggles. Her breath reeks of alcohol and her eyes are glazed over and I'm starting to wonder just how drunk she is.

"Oh no, it's fine."

"You sure?" She moves her face closer to mine, almost examining me in a way.

"Yeah, Tegan, it's fine. Listen, how drunk are you exactly?" She draws her eyebrows in, thinking of an answer. I immediately know the answer when she uses her free hand to count her fingers. Yeah she's fucking drunk.

"Uhh, about a lot." She hiccups, smiles, and then laughs. She then begins to laugh too much and falls back onto the couch, clutching her stomach. I can't help but marvel at her beauty, the way she's letting go right now. She seems so carefree and happy and a dim light really does justice for her smile. I don't know why, but it does. I find myself fighting the urge to kiss her even though she's drunk and would probably forget. It's just something I won't risk. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, she calms down and sits back up. She reaches for her bottle and wine, but realizes it's empty, and turns to me.

"Aww fuck, I need more wine. Sar do we have any more?"

"Uhh, I think you have some beer in the fridge, but maybe you've had a bit much, yeah? Time for bed, perhaps?" If she doesn't go to bed now she'll really regret it with the hangover in the morning.

She smiles. "Oh no no noooo. I'm fine, Sara. 143% fine. I swear it." She then attempts the make a cross over her heart, but ends up slapping her own chin and laughing some more.

"Okay fine, but let me get you some aspirin. You don't wanna wake up with a hangover do you?"

I stood up and started to walk to the bathroom when she said, "I knew there was a reason I'm c-crazy for you. You're sooo caring, S-Sara. Okay, I'm gonna get a beer or three." And then she stands up and wobbles away like nothing happened, like she didn't just say when I think she just said. She's crazy for me? What the hell does that mean? I'm too shocked to move until I hear her yelling if I was sure I didn't want to drink. Fuck it, I need one.

"Yeah, give me one." Then I trudge to the bathroom for her aspirin.

When I return she's back on the couch drinking her beer and has an opened one on the table for me I assume. I hand her the aspirin and go to the kitchen for a glass of water, but she downs them with the beer.

"Tegan, you're supposed to take those with water. More alcohol will defeat the purpose."

She smirks and mumbles an "oh well."

We sit there telling stories about our childhood whilst sipping our drinks every now and then. Well I'm sipping, Tegan is borderline chugging, but that's okay. I want her to loosen up because I plan on asking her about what she said earlier. But suddenly, it seems as if I don't have to.

"Hey Sar, do you, do you member when were little k-kids and we, uhh, we, uhh kissed? Because mum and d-dad did it and we wanted t-to see what it'd be like?" She slurs. She's looking down and playing with her hands, a sign she's nervous. She's still incredibly drunk, but nervous nonetheless.

"Yes, I do. Why?" I take a sip.

"I, uhh, don't freak okay!? But I still t-think about it…..a lot." She exclaims and chugs the rest of her drink. Then she plays with the bottle. I am completely taken back. Does this mean? No, it cant…can it? Play it cool, Sara. Play it cool.

"Really? Why?" I lean in closer to her. I have a death grip on my drink, I am so nervous.

She scratches the back of her neck and chuckles. "I don't know, Sasa. I guess it's because I like you." It's almost as if she's not even drunk anymore, she's not slurring anymore. But are you fucking kidding mr? is she about to tell me what I've dreamed of for over a decade?

"You like me? How so, Tegan?" I sip my drink. She opens another one, downs it, and then gets up and paces the living room.

"Look, Sara, I'm sorry. This is gonna ruin everything and I know I'm talking too fast for you to really understand me and I know we have a carerr and the fans and mom and everything and I'm so so so sorry, but I cant help it, I just-"

I cut her off. "Tegan, what is it? Just tell me. I could never hate you. You're my sister."

"That's exactly why you will hate me!"

"Tegan, come on. Please tell me, I bet it isn't that bad."

She stares me dead in the eyes and says, "I love you." As simple as that, nothing more.

"I love you too, Tegan."

"No, you don't get it, Sara. I love you." She stares at the floor again. "I'm…in love with…you."

Did I just hear that correctly? Tegan is in love with me? The person I've been pining for over a decade loves me back? I think I'm going to faint, I can't breathe.

"Sara, say something please."

"Tegan, are you being completely honest or is this the alcohol talking?"

"Well, I mean I probably wouldn't have told you unless I were drunk, but yes, I'm being honest. I'm so sorry. I never meant t-" I cut her off by running into her arms, crying. "Sara, are you okay? I'm so sorry, really I am. I tried to stop it."

"Tegan, shut up."

"I'm sorry, what?" She leans out of the embrace to give me a questioning look.

"I've always been in love with you, Tegan. I'm so happy,okay? Just hold me." Her eyes widen and it takes her a moment, but she grins and a tear falls out of her right eye.

"Okay, Sara, okay."