AN: We're getting close to the end of part one. About 4 more chapters, I think. Those should all be released as per my usual schedule. But I may need to take a bit of hiatus while I work on part two, but I'm not sure just yet. I'll keep y'all posted.
CHAPTER TEN: CONCLUSION
…
I would do whatever it took to be a good person.
A good vampire.
– Bella, Eclipse, Chapter 15
…
So that was why Jasper struggled so much, I thought as the past slowly faded back into the present around me. Animal blood isn't even enough to keep vampires with physical powers alive. And if he didn't make so many "mistakes", he'd be dead. Like those six test subjects.
I shuddered. How awful.
While I internally reeled, I came back slowly into myself. But I had spent so much time experiencing the world through the bodies of two vampires—first Carlisle, and then Aro—that coming back to my mortal figure felt weird. The sudden decrease in sensory capabilities left me feeling numb and disoriented.
My human nose did little to capture the litany of scents permeating the turret room's stale air—the scents I'd captured in Aro's memories. My arms felt like limp spaghetti noodles in comparison with his lean, powerful biceps. And I had to blink to refocus on my modern surroundings. To adjust my human vision to the dim lighting here in underground Volterra.
As I took a moment to get my bearings, I realized the pale shafts of sunlight floating into the turret room had dimmed a few shades since our arrival. And I guessed that a few hours had passed since then.
And that fact, combined with what I saw next, only made me more nervous. As my eyes floated around the room, I noticed that Aro's guard still had the telltale dark red eyes and a light dusting of lavender beneath them that indicated thirst. But in addition to these visual cues, there were some behavioral cues now as well.
Every vampire in the room now twitched at every thump of my heart. And every so often one in the cloak-shrouded crowd flickered their wild, dim eyes in my direction, and licked their lips. Both clear signs that the Volturi were not happy I was making them wait for their meal.
I shuddered and forced myself to look away. Aro had promised to protect me, right?
While I averted my eyes, Lucretia lifted her icy little hand out of mine. And I took a shaky step back from the eerily synchronized twins.
They were both tilting their heads to the side at precisely the same unnatural angle. And staring at me with an intensity that made the little hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
I had a fairly good impression that the adorable duo was not considering me as a potential meal. After all, theirs were only eyes in the room which bore no obvious indication of hunger. But their unblinking, ruby gaze was still extremely unnerving.
Disturbed, I pried my eyes away from their unsettling stares. And I reached out to my displaced mental barrier. Slowly, I tried coaxing the shimmering red veil in my mind's eye across the room to where I stood. But as soon as I gave it a tiny nudge in the direction of my brain, it moved quickly and cooperatively back to me. Eager to be in its rightful place.
I breathed a sigh of relief as the intangible shield settled over my mind. It was my security blanket. And I was glad to have it back.
But as the unease of being cognitively exposed vanished, I realized that there was another problem. I pivoted on my heels, and faced Alice again.
She was still in very much the same spot she'd been in before, hovering behind me, between where Edward and Caius grappled. And when I whipped, around, she regarded me curiously.
"How could you let Jasper drink animal blood? How could you let him torture himself like that?" I practically screamed at her. "With his physical powers… it could kill him!"
Out of the corner of my eye I caught Aro's smile widening. And this perplexed me. Until I suddenly understood.
I had just admitted anger towards the idea of Jasper drinking animal blood. And by doing so, I had unwittingly divulged that I wanted Jasper to consume humans for his own health. That strangers' deaths were less important that keeping him alive.
I felt sick with myself. And most of all, I was shocked at how natural it seemed to suggest Jasper kill people to remedy his thirst.
But I was beginning to grudgingly acknowledge that I could no longer see animal-drinking and human-drinking in the same light as before.
Human death certainly still disturbed me. But knowing that it was the only feasible way for Jasper to stay healthy… Could it really be all that bad? Could it—
Alice thankfully cut off my thoughts. "Bella, do you really think I haven't tried to get him to stop?" she asked, honestly finding ignorance that thick hard to believe. "I tried almost every day to convince him to switch to human blood. His physical powers make a diet of animal blood very risky for him. Too risky for my liking. I mean, luckily his instincts are strong enough to compel him to drink human blood often enough. But still…"
She trailed off, sounding grim. And at once I was sure I understood.
"So, you were telling the truth then," I noted, not sure why I'd disbelieved her. "When you said Jasper doesn't like to hunt… people… because he feels the emotions of his victims?"
Alice, to my relief, didn't take offense knowing I didn't trust her right away. She simply nodded in acknowledgement. And looked, again, like she was about to cry.
The sight of venom welling up in her eyes, made my heart sink. And I forced myself to look away. I didn't want to gain too much sympathy for her too. I was already dangerously close to turning my back on every good moral I'd believed in. Dangerously close to agreeing with Aro.
After everything I'd seen…. Well, I mean, the evidence spoke for itself….
While I averted my gaze and waited for someone else to speak, I realized I was having a hard time understanding everything I had learned today. It was all too much to absorb at once. So I decided to try separate out what I had discovered into smaller, comprehensible chunks.
First, I understood beyond a shadow of a doubt that animal blood was unhealthy—which I surmised was the main conclusion Aro wanted me to draw. Well, that and its corollary: That only human blood could provide the nourishment that vampires needed to remain strong, fertile and capable of using their powers to their fullest potential.
And second, I knew that Aro wanted me to become a human-blood-drinking immortal myself. Both to uphold his sacred laws, and hopefully to use my powers in his organization. And he was willing to change me himself if necessary.
But there were still a lot of questions that hadn't been answered.
There were some smaller mysteries I'd picked up from Aro's memories. I was still desperate to know how Didyme and her son Tristan had died. What a "Child of the Moon" was, and how it had managed to bite off Caius' arm—at least that was what I assumed had happened. And if there were more things like that—more supernatural creatures that existed besides werewolves and vampires—that I didn't know about.
Though, those weren't my primary concern right now.
There were more important questions.
Like the reason Edward had done everything in his power to hide the side-effects of his diet from me. From hiding Carlisle's powers. To comparing animal blood to tofu. To forbidding Rosalie from ever explaining her full predicament as far as vampire childbirth went. And so on.
None of it made sense. If he didn't want me to become a vampire anyway—which I was certain of at this point—why entice me by making it look so easy for him? Why mitigate the obvious cons? Explaining any of what Aro had just shown me would have been a pretty effective turn-off.
Then there was Alice. I knew that she was on Aro's side. That, despite having faked it for several decades, she firmly agreed with his way of seeing things. And seemed to be coaxing me in that direction too. But there was so much about her I didn't understand.
Why had Alice really been spying on Carlisle, if it wasn't just to ensure his health? And why hadn't she informed Aro about it beforehand? What was her true purpose in coming here? Did she really even care about Edward at all? Or had that—like so many other things—been just another clever ruse?
I didn't get it. And being in the dark was starting to drive me nuts.
Didn't Aro promise he was going to tell me everything?
Seeing that no one else was intending to speak—in fact, all the dark red eyes in the room seemed to be fixed, expectantly on me—I decided to break the silence.
"Alice, do you know why Edward didn't want to tell me all this?" I asked her, since I figured Edward himself would never give me a straight answer.
Edward wriggled viciously in Caius' stranglehold—obviously trying to stop his sister from saying anything. But the hard white fingers fastened around his neck made it impossible for him to speak. And Alice wasn't about to be deterred by his pathetic struggles.
"Edward never wanted you to be one of us," she told me, with a soft sigh. "I don't even think he ever intended to fall in love—that sort of took him by surprise. But once he found out he couldn't live without you, he wanted to make sure he got to keep you as you were. Human. With a 'clean record'. And a soul."
Alice pursed her lips sourly. She obviously thought Edward's approach was stupid.
"I get that part," I said.
And that much was true. Carlisle had explained to me enough to understand that Edward was worried about my soul. And that made even more sense in light of what I had just learned—that killing humans as a vampire was the natural, and nigh-inevitable thing to do.
"But what I don't get," I continued. "Is why he thought lying to me about this would make me want to stay mortal. Wouldn't telling me something like 'oh, you don't want to be a vampire because we're always struggling not to kill people?' be more effective?"
That's how it seemed, to me anyway.
Alice rolled her eyes. "You think he didn't try to tell you that?" she asked, having a hard time believing it. "You think all of his attempts to show you that he was 'dangerous' weren't exactly that? That him going on, and on about how much your blood appealed to him wasn't meant to scare you off?"
I chewed nervously on my lower lip. Alice had a point. Edward had done all that. So maybe I was just a dunce. A stupid lamb who hadn't really been listening to the ramblings of her sick, masochistic lion.
"Okay, so I guess I wasn't paying the best of attention," I admitted, sheepishly rubbing my elbow. "But why lie then? If he was trying to scare me off anyway…"
Alice sighed, and then decided to explain. "Edward didn't tell you the truth for two reasons, Bella," she told me. "First, because he didn't want you to think badly of Carlisle. After all, knowing that he's risking our lives for his vision, and messing with our heads to keep our natural instincts from taking effect, kind of puts him in a bad light."
I nodded a little hesitantly. I still thought of Carlisle as a good person for his personal conviction. But he wasn't some pure-white saint anymore. There were shades of grey there. Especially in his experiment on the other newborns. And his continued attempts after that horrible failure to try and persuade others into sharing his life-threatening diet.
"And the second reason Edward didn't tell you the truth was because he didn't want you to be tempted," Alice finished, after giving me a moment.
"Tempted? To what?" I asked, not sure I understood.
"To become a vampire, but drink human blood," Alice clarified patiently. "That's why he had Rosalie lie to you. He was worried you might not think human life was too high a price to pay to have children."
"But I told him I didn't want kids!" I sputtered out, furiously. "So why would I kill for something that I don't even want?"
Alice shrugged. "I am not sure. Maybe he didn't really believe you when you said that," she offered as a possibility. "Or maybe he can't picture it himself—not wanting kids—when he's so jealous of Aro's little family."
That was news to me. Edward was jealous of Aro and Sulpicia's family. Of their three children?
I looked at him to see if he would protest Alice's assessment. But the look on Edward's face was one of resigned acceptance. One that clearly said he thought she had hit the nail on the head.
I swallowed. I never knew he wanted children. Why didn't he tell me?
"But the bottom line is," Alice went on. "He doesn't trust you."
I looked askance at Alice. "But you do?"
That seemed to be what she was implying anyway. But I wasn't sure I fully believed that either. There were still things she wasn't telling me too.
Though it seemed like forever ago when Alice had shared her thoughts with Aro, I swore I remembered the ancient vampire saying something about Alice sharing some "grave news" with him. And I also remembered her saying something about "visions" involving me. Two out of many things that had never been adequately explained.
"Of course," Alice answered brightly. "Why else would I tell you everything?"
She seemed to think the answer was self-evident. But I didn't agree.
"Why are you telling me all of this?" I decided to ask her and Aro both. "Wouldn't it be better if I was kept in the dark?"
"No." Aro and Alice both declared in unison.
All of the other vampires left in the room gaped at the two of them in shock. Wasn't it Aro's job to protect the vampire secret, not expose it willy-nilly? their skeptical eyes said. Though, fearing the ancient vampire's wrath, they did not dare voice their dissenting thoughts aloud.
"Your power can be a great benefit to the vampire world," Alice said to allay the dark looks the rest of Volturi guard was sending her.
Aro nodded to convey his agreement. And then he flickered a glance over his shoulder at the crowd behind him, seeming to urge them to accept it as well.
I watched in awe as all thirty-or-so vampires visibly relaxed. And my appreciation for Aro suddenly increased tenfold. His influence over so many powerful beings was almost god-like. And it made me wonder what the secret was behind his command.
There had to be something…
Could it be his invasive gift? A gift that can probe into their minds and rat out dissent?
Could it be centuries worth of wisdom? Aro had, after all, had a long time to hone his persuasive skills…
Maybe it's the bonds of trust and solidarity Chelsea enforces on the guard? Could that compel them into such unwavering obedience?
Or perhaps it is something else? Chelsea's power, after all, did have its limits.
I was given no further time to ponder what other methods Aro might use to elicit such unwavering obedience, however. Because just then, Alice cut my thoughts short with a devastating statement.
"In fact," Alice went on boldly, "Your power may be the only way to protect against extinction, Bella."
My jaw slackened. "Extinction?!"
That was pretty severe. And I knew Alice wasn't the type to use words like that lightly.
"What do you mean?"
Alice sighed. "I mean exactly what I said. If the Volturi doesn't have your power, then all of us—all of vampirekind will die."
Aro nodded. He already knew this. This was the "grave news" Alice had shared earlier. And this must be the secret to his urgency. The reason he wanted to turn me himself so badly.
But Caius, who was also just being clued in, snapped.
"Alice!" he barked, shrill and demanding. "Why did you not inform us of this possibility immediately?!"
Alice snorted. "Because. You would have ruined it," she said flatly. "And we cannot afford for this to not work out. Too much is at stake."
Caius, though he still looked grumpy, seemed to concede that this was an acceptable excuse. He finally let go of Edward—returning him to Felix and Demetri. Then returned to settle back in his chair, allowing her to continue.
"What led to all this, exactly?" I asked frantically as Caius threw himself down crossly onto his throne. "What have you seen?"
"Well, it all started that summer, in 1948," Alice began. "I'm not sure whose decision triggered it—I can't see that. But I could see the effects. And they were devastating."
I swallowed. I didn't like the sound of that. "How so?"
"Someone is planning on staging a huge battle," Alice told me gravely. "A battle that could spell the end for us."
My expression turned quizzical. "A battle? What kind of battle?"
"A confrontation in Seattle with an army of newborn vampires," Alice replied.
"An army of new vampires?" The concept was a horrifying as it was nonsensical. "But why would someone create a bunch of vampires to make an army? Why not use ones that are already here?"
"Aro told you in his memories that newborns are supposed to be stronger than the rest of us, as long as they drink human blood, right?" Alice queried.
He had. "Yes but…"
"So sometimes, when vampires want something from other vampires, like territory or power," Alice began, coaching me like I was a kindergartener, "They will turn a bunch of humans into vampires to use them as cannon fodder until their strength wanes."
My heart plummeted in my chest. That's cold. Practical. But so cold.
I gulped. "And then what do they do with them? When their extra strength goes away?"
I was pretty sure I wasn't going to like the answer.
"They kill them," Alice said flippantly. "Can't have too many vampires running around, after all. It would throw off the ecological balance. Too many predators. Not enough prey."
I blanched, but nodded. That was the truth after all. Even if there was no feeling in it. No heart at all. "But who would do something like that? Make newborns just to have them fight, and then kill them off when they were no longer useful?"
It seemed like such a dastardly thing to do. And I guess I was pulling a bit of a Carlisle and finding it hard to believe that anyone could be that callous. But if there was a lesson I was learning today, it was that reality was always more cruel, and unforgiving than you thought it could be.
"Oh plenty of people have done it before," Alice said, giving my concerns a dismissive wave. "The Volturi have outlawed it, because the fights themselves and the sudden uptick in murders to feed so many hungry mouths draws too much attention. But that doesn't stop people from trying it."
"In fact," Alice continued, "Jasper used to be part of a coven that sported a rather large newborn army at all times."
My eyed bugged out at this. "Jasper was part of a newborn army?"
"I'll let him tell you the story, sometime," Alice promised.
But it was clear she didn't want to get into the tale now. And I didn't exactly blame her. The Volturi, with their dark red eyes, and pale lavender under-eye markings looked famished. And it simply wouldn't do to delay their incoming meal any longer than strictly necessary.
"Okay, so what you're saying is," I said, getting back to our original topic. "In 1948, you saw someone start planning this battle in Seattle with a newborn army."
Alice nodded. "Yes. Though I have no idea who is behind it. I'm not even sure why the newborns are going to be created. I just know that someone is planning to make a lot of them. And when they attack, it's going to be a full-scale disaster if you're not there."
"You need me to help you fight newborns?"
I wanted to laugh. It was the most preposterous thing I'd heard all day. And with all the ludicrous things I'd learned in the last hour or so that was saying a lot.
Alice didn't share my humor. "Yes," she said very seriously.
My forehead wrinkled in incomprehension. "Why?"
"Because your powers will help protect us," Alice said like it was obvious. "Your shield… is going to be very useful."
"My shield?" I asked. Is that what they were calling it? "But how would that help you?"
After all, my shield was kind of a personal thing. It only protected me.
"Aro thinks you may be able to use it to cover the minds of others," Alice explained matter-of factly. "Then you'll be able to protect all of us from mental attacks. Which will be helpful, because I'm fairly certain the enemy will have some gifts of their own."
"The newborns we're fighting are going to have super powers?"
I moaned. Great. Just great.
Alice, who mirrored my frustration nodded, before adding a caveat. "I can't see exactly what sort of powers our enemies have yet. And it won't be all of them, of course. One, maybe two, out of dozens. But whatever powers they do have, we'll have a lot better chance with you shielding us from them."
"I guess that makes sense…" I acquiesced hesitantly.
Though I wasn't sure I shared Aro's lofty estimation of my abilities. Could I really do something like that? Share my powers?
"But you never did explain what you meant by extinction," I pointed out. "Do you really think that the entire vampire race is at stake if I do not join the Volturi?" I asked dubiously.
I was incredulous and terrified that Alice seemed to genuinely believe that my transformation into a vampire was vital in order to preserve the future of an entire species. Especially one as unbeatable and resilient as vampires.
"There is still a slim possibility that some of us survive the attack without you…" Alice admitted thoughtfully.
She poked her cheek with her index finger as she stared absently off into space. And her golden eyes waxed increasingly vacant, as though she was no longer looking at anything in this dimension. Instead, it looked like she was revisiting all the possible futures related to this topic in her mind.
For almost a few moments, Alice stared into the future. Then abruptly, she blinked and resumed speaking.
"But with your shielding power on our side, we can avoid a lot of deaths, and have a much higher chance at avoiding the exposure of the supernatural world," she explained, flashing a pained-looking smile.
"Exposure—why would a battle expose vampires?" I questioned disbelievingly.
I tried to search out any logical excuse. Anything that might throw disreputability on Alice's outlandish theory that I was some kind of "chosen savior" for the vampire race.
"I mean, the Volturi have fought lots of battles before…" I contributed pathetically.
But ultimately, my arms slumped weakly in defeat. No matter what I said, Alice always knew best.
"Not in the middle of a crowded urban center, which is where my predictions place it," Alice countered succinctly. "And if the battle gets dire, survival, not secrecy, will be the first thing on our minds."
I nodded gravely in understanding. Vampires might put on a pretense of civility when all was well. But it had become especially clear in this last few hours that they were fundamentally driven by potent, violent instincts. And they would react like any other animal if provoked.
Which would mean…
A jolt of pure horror shot through me as I put two and two together. And suddenly, I understood that the threat of exposure was very real. Alice had mentioned—and I had seen through Aro's eyes—that some of the Volturi had rather formidable gifts. So if the Volturi were to face off against a newborn army in Seattle, it could cause quite a scene. A scene that humans would not be inclined to forget.
"So then humans will discover that vampires exist…" I breathed in a terror-struck whisper.
Alice responded with a solemn nod.
"Then what… I still don't understand how that leads to the extinction part," I expressed with evident confusion. "What can humans possibly do against vampires? Bullets and knives are useless."
"You know that the only way we can die is if we're burnt to ash right?" Alice asked.
I responded by nodding quickly. And I shuddered, recalling what little I had seen of James' grisly death.
"And you are aware that humans have modern weapons which can create big fires, right?" she prodded further.
"Flamethrowers?" I asked incredulously.
I tried to imagine hordes of humans waving flamethrowers at an unstoppable force of charging, red-eyed vampires. But human aim was pretty horrible when it came to keeping up with vampire speed. So I was having a hard time picturing humans being very successful.
Alice rolled her eyes in exasperation and resolutely shook her head. "I was thinking more along the lines of explosives, like tactical missiles, or even nuclear bombs."
I was tempted to laugh. Those were such drastic measures.
Until I realized she was deadly serious.
"And those could definitely destroy us if we were hit head on," she explained with a somber expression.
A hasty glance over in Aro's direction confirmed that he too, was certain that he would be unable to survive a direct encounter with such explosions.
"If humanity were to learn of our existence, they would make their best attempts to wipe all of us off the face of the earth," Alice declared forebodingly.
"…But that's so extreme!" I protested vehemently. "Would they really launch missiles, nuclear or not, against their own nation? I mean, tons of innocent people would die!" I practically shrieked.
I was horrified by the very-real prospect of such widespread massacre. But also deeply skeptical that the human race was really idiotic enough to cause such devastation to their own people.
"That did not stop them in Japan," Alice reminded me with a distrustful wagging of her finger. "And those were their fellow humans caught up in a petty military conflict. Think of how callous they will be toward our destruction. Any collateral damage experienced on the way to our extinction will be completely justified in their eyes," she replied definitively. "People that are somewhat culturally distant are simply numbers to them—statistics. We are less than that. We are monsters. They will show us no mercy."
I stood back in horror.
Alice was right. The fear of the unknown, and the inability to accept that humans were not the highest link in the food chain would drive humanity insane. Certainly the governments of the world might initially be reluctant to fight in that manner. But given no other options, and increasing public terror, they would be forced to act, in a devastatingly destructive way.
I was pretty sure I looked like I was about to faint. But glancing to my right I noticed that all vampires standing behind Aro had the same petrified expression.
"And how might Isabella prevent this?" Aro inquired. He already knew of course—Alice had shown him. But he looked anxious to allay the fears of his guard.
"Few have gifts that are as potent and controllable as Bella's while they are yet human," Alice observed placidly. "Jane could cause a brief sharp sting in her victims. Alec could make people feel a little numb. And Vera could heal small bruises or cuts. But most of this was done involuntarily in the heat of the moment," she offered.
"But Bella's gift is constantly protecting her mind without her even being aware of it," Alice proceeded to say. "And she can also control it so well already," she sang with a happy smile. "When she becomes a vampire, her shielding abilities will only increase. And that will gives us an advantage we need in the battle to come. An advantage that will help us not fight conspicuously and betray our true natures."
Alice announced this last bit in an almost worshipful tone. And that struck an uncomfortable chord with me. It seemed fundamentally wrong somehow for someone who possessed a talent as miraculous and coveted as hers to express such awe for my powers. A shield seemed pitiful in comparison to seeing the future.
"Ah, I see," Aro sighed in comprehension and relief.
Then, he rapidly spun across the stone floor in my direction. His expertly tailored robes swirled darkly around him. And a wide grin pulled apart his thin lips as he drew closer to me.
"I am thrilled by what we might see when you become one of us," he purred softly.
He ghosted the back of his frigid knuckles over my cheek. And bathed my face and neck in his cool, intoxicating breath.
I shivered under his touch. But not from fear.
No, absolutely not that.
Too quickly though, it was over. Aro's eyes widened in an unreadable expression. And then he flitted backwards to a safe distance.
My skin tingled hotly from the fleeting contact. And I was left breathless, flustered. But at least my mind hadn't been breached. I wasn't sure I could handle the embarrassment of letting Aro know how profoundly his touch affected me.
Especially when he was mated to someone else.
I dipped my head in shame. I needed to get a grip.
"So what happens now, Alice?" Aro asked, deferring to her expertise.
"Patience, Aro," Alice soothed. "Nothing happens until Bella makes her choice," she stipulated while crossing her arms forbiddingly. "She needs to decide of her own free will what she is going to do in light of this knowledge. We cannot afford to have you mess this up trying to force her hand."
Aro reluctantly nodded in understanding. Then he sailed effortlessly backwards a few steps, and regarded me with bright interest.
"So… I am a key part in protecting the vampire world from destruction?" I asked.
There was still so much that I didn't completely grasp. And I was still doubtful my abilities were awesome enough to become the savior Alice imagined.
"Why? What can I possibly do to help?" I implored in frustration.
What on earth did Alice think I was going to do? It wasn't like my mental shield could repel something as devastatingly physical as nuclear bombs.
"That sounds so… so important. I can't do anything like that, can I?"
"Of course you can, Bella. You're much more special than you realize," Alice supplied with a friendly thumbs up. "Something Edward never appreciated," she added in a distasteful grumble.
Edward responded by scowling even deeper than before. But otherwise made no comment.
"I look forward to us being sisters in this coven," she announced, gesturing to the room around us.
My face fell. Oh. Right.
"Don't look at me like that, Bella. They need me as much as they need you," she declared adamantly.
I blinked twice. "They do?"
Alice nodded. "Technological communication in the human world is getting incredibly advanced," she told me. "Our secret could go from completely protected to worldwide knowledge in the few minutes it takes to upload and watch a YouTube video."
I paled. That was the downside of living in the modern age, it seemed.
"Simply killing all the witnesses will not work anymore," she explained. "We will need to strike before the exposure happens, not after, and I—" she splayed a gloved hand over her chest, "—am the only one with powers that allow us to do that."
I swallowed thickly and gave a hesitant nod. Once again, Alice was right. Even Carlisle's power would be relatively useless if nearly everyone on the planet learned of the truth within mere minutes. The damage done would be irreversible, and devastating.
Especially if Alice's predictions of panic-induced nuclear fallout were anything to go off.
Clearly she believed it was her obligation to prevent a calamity of this scale from happening. But her explanation still failed to account for one thing. If the battle in Seattle was something she'd seen in 1948...
"Then why did you spend over sixty years messing around?" I asked in bewilderment. "Why waste your time with the Cullen's and go to all these lengths to pretend to care about human life when you obviously don't?"
I said this with a little more petulance and anger than I had originally intended. Probably because I still felt a little betrayed by her dishonesty.
Alice's admiring smile twisted into a disappointed pout. "I knew I needed to be part of Carlisle's coven to meet you. And I was hoping to recruit Edward too," she explained, looking a little guilty for the deception. "His power would help us a lot—we could know what the enemy was planning in real-time. But—" she shot Edward a disparaging glance, "—it doesn't look like that's going to happen."
"No," Edward growled out, low and fierce. "It's not. I'll never join you."
Alice pouted, put out by his refusal.
And I gasped. "So all this time… you were planning to take the two of us here, and try to get us to join? That's why you pretended to be a Cullen for so long?"
The feelings of betrayal that had waned somewhat in the last hour, came back in full force. All this time, all of our friendly interactions… All of that was nothing more than a recruitment ploy?
"So you lied to me earlier?" I challenged. "About not joining the Cullens to spy on me?"
Alice made an exasperated noise. "I wasn't lying when I said I didn't originally join Carlisle's coven because of you, Bella," she clarified. "You didn't exist in 1948. So you weren't part of my visions yet."
"Then—"
Alice sighed and decided to explain. "All I saw was what would happen without you—our imminent destruction. It wasn't until forty years later, when you were born, that I began to see hope."
"Oh," I breathed in comprehension. "So at first, you just wanted Edward. But then, when you saw me coming…"
"…I decided to stay a little longer and try to collect you too, yes," Alice finished for me.
I shivered at her wording. I didn't like the idea of being collected. But I nodded to show that I understood.
Well, at least that I understood most of it. There was one more thing…
"Why did you let Edward lie to me?" I asked Alice. "If you wanted me to join, how come you let him mislead me? Why didn't you tell me the truth earlier?"
Alice sighed. "We need you very badly, Bella," she said, with a note of desperation in her voice that made me uncomfortable. "All of this… everything I've done up to this point was in order to create the perfect scenario for you to find out the truth."
"The perfect scenario?" I repeated, not sure what she meant by that. "You mean, you tricked me too?"
"Bella, you have to understand what I have seen," she pleaded with me. "For forty years, there was no hope. No possible future where we might all live. Over and over again, I saw only the horrible destruction of not only our entire race, but of countless innocent human lives. The carnage was horrific... buildings and bodies burning in every direction..."
She trailed off, choking on her words as she recalled the grisly scenes of which she spoke. Her petite hands shook violently with the force of her terror. And her eyes were wide with the strongest fear I had ever seen.
Clearly, the mass-destruction she had witnessed in her vision scared the hell out of her. And I think I was beginning to understand what she was trying to say.
"Of course I had to do whatever was necessary to prevent that," Alice told me, still shaking. "So when you were born and I saw that first glimmer of hope—that first glimpse of a future where we might survive. Well, obviously I had to try to make it come true, didn't I?"
"Of course," I found myself agreeing instantly.
All of a sudden I didn't blame Alice for her deception anymore. Her reaction to her visions scared the hell out of me.
Whatever she had seen, I wanted nothing to do with it. And she was just doing what was necessary to avoid that awful future at all costs. No matter how underhanded and self-serving her actions might appear.
"Keeping that destruction from happening… that's obviously most important," I added.
Alice nodded and kept going. "I let Edward keep from the truth until you were ready to hear it. Until you already wanted to be a vampire bad enough that what you learned today would not stop you."
Alice spoke with a resoluteness about that last bit that terrified me. And I had to stop and examine myself. Would the knowledge I had acquired today stop me? I wondered.
Was I okay with being a murder, in light of what I had learned? Did Alice's insistence that I was needed for the greater good, really outweigh the awfulness of what I would become?
It unnerved me that I couldn't definitively say no. Extinction was a pretty big deal.
"You really need me that badly?" I asked once again, just to be sure.
Alice's head bobbed enthusiastically. "Your contribution to the upcoming battle is vital," she stressed. "With your shield protecting our minds, the whole guard can fight safely, and rationally against the newborns without exposing our existence."
I swallowed. "So you want me to join?" I choked out.
"Yes," Alice breathed, visibly excited. "Please, Bella?" she begged me.
I was astonished to watch as she clasped her hands together in a trembling, prayer-like supplication. She even bent on one knee in a startling gesture of humility. And gazed expectantly into my wide brown eyes with horrified longing.
Was she really so desperate that she was willing to stoop this low? I thought with considerable alarm.
And my alarm only increased as Aro rapidly copied Alice's pleading position. I couldn't help but be flattered that someone was powerful as Aro was also willing to take a knee to persuade me to join him. But I was simultaneously mortified. I didn't deserve this kind of treatment. I wasn't some queen.
Though evidently, Aro disagreed. And as soon as he knelt, his entire guard frantically scrambled to lower themselves too, so as to not appear to think themselves higher than their master. But to compound my horror, rather than taking a knee, most of them flopped, face-down, into a position of complete prostration.
For a moment, I stood, dumbfounded, and stared incredulously at the circle of bowing vampires around me. It was so weird to have so many powerful creatures who could easily tear me to ribbons, treating me with such respect. I was at a complete loss for what to say.
I knew that these men and women were terrified out of their minds at the possibility of extinction. And that this gesture of humility was begging me to help them prevent that.
But could I really agree to assist them, when that meant becoming a monster?
I gave the idea some thought. But the longer I looked at the mass of immortal, genuflecting figures, the stronger the reality of my situation stood out in my mind.
"I don't really have a choice, do I?"
The words left my lips with a little more resentment than intended. But even knowing and understanding Alice's reasons, I couldn't help but feel a little betrayed. She had tricked me into this, after all. Even if she had good motives. Even if she was just trying to save the world.
As my words reached Alice, her pleading expression warped into one of panic and confusion. Clearly this was not the reaction from me that she was hoping for.
But just when she was about to try to say something. Something to direct me back onto the path toward willing ascension into immortality, rather than compulsory acceptance. Aro quickly rose to his feet, and placed a single finger against his own lips.
He breathed a gentle "Shhh," in her direction. Then he swept gracefully to my side.
As his proximity increased, his dark eyes quickly searched mine for approval to touch me. And I gave it to him in the form of clipped nod. After all, my mental barrier was back in place. So he couldn't read my thoughts.
After obtaining my permission, Aro tenderly reached out and clasped my hands in his. I figured it was meant to be a reassuring gesture. But it didn't quite work.
"Not a single member of my guard is forced to be here," he placated softly, gesturing at the prostrated vampires surrounding us. "And despite Alice's promise of calamity if you do not join us, I will not make you the first," he promised with the utmost sincerity.
After his words, Aro abruptly drifted a step backward. Though he was still holding my hand tightly in his icy grasp. So he tugged my arm gently with his so that our clasped hands were outstretched between us.
"You have three options, dearest Isabella," he explained once he was in this new position.
"You may choose to become a vampire and join us," he said with an eerily wide grin to convey his excitement with this prospect.
"…Become a vampire and leave us," he added with a slightly less enthusiastic look crossing over his flawless complexion.
"Or… die…" he contributed finally with deep reluctance.
Alice gritted her teeth in displeasure. Clearly she was of the opinion that I should not be given the option to die.
Aro, who didn't miss it, suddenly, jarringly released my hand. It felt bewilderingly hot without his glacial touch. And his lips hardened into a displeased line as he mulled over the upsetting notion of my death.
He spent a dark moment pondering this. Then he snapped out of his pessimistic musings. And his face brightened with exuberant optimism.
"Should you chose the latter, I will try my best to talk you out of it, of course." He tapped his fingertips together as if he was concocting a scheme which would do exactly that. "It would be such a pity to see your power go to waste…" he lamented. "But ultimately, I will respect your decision. Even if it is death."
"You would do that?" I asked, finding it very hard to believe. "You would really let me die? If that was what I really wanted?"
I didn't want to die. Not really. But I wanted to know if Aro's commitment to his traditions was really that strong. Was he really willing to risk extinction to give me free will?
Aro ducked his head in sorrow. And curled his hands into pained fists. "If that is truly your wish…"
He started to float forward then with a hungry look in his eyes. His head angled toward my neck. And one of his hands reached out slowly to wrap around me.
"No!" I rushed to say, realizing abruptly he was very serious. "I uh…"
Aro backed off immediately, licking the venom off his teeth. Then he regarded me curiously. "So what is your choice, dear Isabella?"
He seemed unable to prevent a smug smirk from pulling at the corners of his mouth. Nor to stop his eyes from crinkling slightly in happiness that I was avoiding what he deemed to be the least appropriate decision.
I wondered then if it had been a ploy. If Aro hadn't really been meaning to devour me then and there. If faking it was just one of his methods of persuasion.
It was entirely possible.
I tried not to feel affronted by that. And chewed my lower lip with a vengeance as I mulled over my options.
Death had never really been in the cards. I had meant, and still meant what I had told Alice on the plane. And Edward in the hospital. And at prom. And countless other times. That I wanted to become a vampire.
So that only left two options. Join the Volturi. Or go join some other coven. Maybe even Carlisle's.
But can I really refuse to join the Volturi? I wondered
If Alice's visions were going to come true—which wasn't guaranteed, but extremely likely, given her track record—then the entire vampire race was depending on me. They needed me to assist them in the upcoming battle. And it wasn't like I could just selfishly ask to be transformed and leave them all to burn.
I cringed just picturing it. All the immortals in this room torn and blown to bits. Their bodies scattered all over the ruined urban landscape of Seattle. Their charred flesh sticking out amidst piles of rubble, and lying next to charred-to-the-bone mortals.
I shuddered. I hated the thought of inadvertently being responsible for that. It just wouldn't be right.
But on the other hand, if I were to become a vampire and joined the Volturi... People would die to feed me. I was certain of it.
While technically it was possible for human blood to be drawn out of the veins and into a thirsty vampire mouth without killing—there was bagged blood, morgue blood, blood taken in syringes surreptitiously in the night, etc.—I would be savage as a newborn. Ruled entirely by my instincts. And Aro would resort to the same methods he'd used on Carlisle, if necessary. So I was fairly assured that, at least my first meal, would bring about someone's demise.
And I wasn't even sure I could stop after that. Perhaps, if I found killing humans as intolerable as Carlisle did, then I might have the strength to seek out other methods after my first feeding. But having felt the incredible pain of newborn thirst through Carlisle's memories. And having already decided that my resolve was not sufficiently firm to resist a newborn's murderous instincts. I knew that was unlikely to be the case.
So if I was transformed into a vampire, and I didn't have Carlisle helping me, I would probably end up becoming the remorseless killer I had sworn to never become.
And yet… if I did take a position within the Volturi, I would almost definitely save thousands, if not millions more than I killed.
Is that not justification enough? I contemplated uncertainly. Those people are counting on me… No, the whole world is counting on me to protect it from chaos and devastation.
But will I really be okay with killing a few to save many? I considered.
I looked gravely down at my hands and imagined them splashed with bright crimson. Then I saw the bodies of my human friends lying mangled at my feet, with frozen expressions of terror. And I stiffened further as I recognized Charlie and Renee amid the grisly pile within my mind's eye.
Surely, in reality I would take care not to hunt those I cared about. But that did not change the fact that nearly every mortal on this earth was a friend, a sibling, a parent, or a lover to someone. And that by feeding in the traditional manner with the Volturi, I would be cruelly taking them away forever.
Can I live with myself if I destroy the loved ones of others? I pondered.
Or would it be worse to let all of vampirekind die?
I couldn't be sure. I would have blood on my hands either way.
"I… I…" I choked out, emotionally distressed.
"Yes, Isabella?" Aro murmured softly.
He tilted his head eagerly in anticipation of my response. And tapped his fingertips together in a gesture of unbridled excitement.
This set my frazzled nerves even more on edge than before. Panicking, I quickly looked away from his enthusiastic complexion.
But in the process, I unintentionally caught Alice glancing longingly in my direction. A glance that signified her desire for me to fulfill the "destiny" outlined for me in her apocalyptic vision.
Turning from Alice, unable to bear the sight of her begging eyes, I watched in mortification as Demetri and Felix paused in their taunting of Edward. And donned imploring faces.
Edward himself, gritted his teeth in harsh disapproval. Then mouthed the words "Don't do it."
In the corner of the room, I also noticed the Christian vampire Renata and Aro's other female bodyguard briefly exchanging worried glances. Before they nodded solemnly in my direction.
And several others, whom I did not recognize from Aro's memories—meaning that their faces were either shrouded from my view beneath the dark hoods of their austere cloaks, or that they had joined the coven more recently than the 1700s—cast me beseeching looks. And gripped anxiously at their dark garments.
But what really devastated me as I stood here in the midst of these vampires, struggling to answer a question of momentous importance, was that even Marcus stopped looking lobotomized for a moment. He flickered his gaze curiously in my direction. And if Marcus thought this matter was earth-shattering enough to actually pay attention, then the pressure was on.
"Have you made your decision?" Aro prompted cautiously.
It was obvious he wanted to avoid rushing me into a foolhardy choice. But he too seemed to have noticed Marcus' uncharacteristic interest in my choice. And judging by his completely petrified expression, clearly this was not a good sign.
Maybe Marcus is only more interested because he's thirsty? And Aro is just trying to coax me into making my decision before the ancient's self-control completely collapses?
I wasn't sure. But as I mulled it over, strangely, I felt the sensation of my head bobbing in a nod of agreement. Even though I had no idea what I was going to say.
My clammy skin tingled with anticipation. And my mind whirred with the knowledge that once I uttered whatever I was going to say, I could not take these words back.
"Yes," I unexpectedly announced.
What are you doing? I inwardly begged myself. This isn't something you can just thoughtlessly decide! The whole world is at stake here!
But I ultimately decided to trust my gut. And let whatever answer was building in me slip out. Especially since that was probably the only way I would ever come to a decision. At least, in a timely manner.
Still, I was hoping beyond hope that I would say the right thing.
"I want to become a vampire," I declared coolly, the choice suddenly feeling very right. "And I will join the Volturi as well," I added for clarification in the same bold, unwavering tone.
There was a collective gasp. And a subsequent sigh of relief from all, except Edward.
"Bella, no!" Edward shouted. "You have to choose to die! It's the only way that—"
"Shut up, piss-eyes!" Felix bellowed.
He clapped a hand over Edward's mouth to force him to be quiet. A hand through which we heard muffled shrieks.
"Absolutely wonderful!" Aro exclaimed.
Without warning, he rushed forward to envelope me in a hearty embrace. It was tight and slightly painful as a result of his overwhelming exuberance. But thankfully, still considerate enough not to be literally bone-crushing.
"You will make such a splendid immortal, Isabella," Aro praised.
He abruptly released me from his unyielding grasp. Then danced his excited hands in fluttering motions beneath his chin. And looked for all the world like he secretly wanted to be jumping up and down like a five-year-old who just received the best Christmas present ever.
"I will be honored to have you as a member of our coven," Aro enthused.
I nodded slowly. I didn't really know what else to do in response to Aro's enthusiasm. But he seemed to accept my small gesture.
"NOOOOO!" Edward screamed again, having freed his mouth from Felix's fingers somehow. "They will make you into a murderer, Bella. A monster. Is that was you want?" he demanded.
Edward's black eyes shined with venom. And I wanted to guiltily avert my eyes. But my spite for Edward's rash, unsympathetic behavior proved stronger than my shame in the end.
"I understand that most of the Volturi have no respect for human life," I replied, straining to keep my voice even. "But with all that I have seen, I cannot find it in me to hate them for it," I admitted honestly. "Does it bother me? Of course."
I wanted to make sure that Edward and everyone else in this room was aware of the fact that human demise still perturbed me.
"Do I wish they would not pick such innocent victims? Of course," I contributed further.
After this remark, Aro briefly closed his eyes, looking suspiciously saddened. Remorseless, but aggrieved, nonetheless. As though he was remembering the lives of his most blameless prey. Lives he must have experienced through his gift.
"But do I want them to not drink from humans at all?" I asked as my final rhetorical question. "No."
"What?!" Edward spat quizzically, wholly unable to understand. "WHY?"
"The Volturi need the strength human blood gives them, Edward!" I shouted with unexpected viciousness. He was really starting to get on my nerves. "They cannot afford to be weak in the face of their enemies," I said.
I remembered Carlisle and Aro's conversation about newborns and their ridiculous strength during that first year of their immortality. And I understood that the Volturi would be utterly impotent against their foes if they were to dine on anything other than human blood.
"They are the foundation of the supernatural world's peace and civilization."
I selected those particular words on purpose. They were very similar to the words Edward himself had used when he first described the Volturi to me.
"We are permitted to exist because they labor so hard to protect that peace," I explained further. "The Cullens may be able to live with their weaknesses because their only opponents are occasionally each other. But the Volturi cannot afford the luxury of mercy," I declared finally.
Aro's smile split into an ecstatic grin at my words.
And Edward looked like he wanted to scream something.
But before his angry lips could make any more vexing noises, I swiftly cut him off.
"They are not the villains, Edward!" I yelled, quaking with fury.
"They are not damn saints either!" he argued back with equal vehemence.
"I never said they were," I explained tersely. "Just that I understand I little better now why they insist on following their instincts."
Aro's face positively glowed with admiration. Like I was some sort of heavenly apparition for saying such things.
Edward screeched at the top of his lungs: "You can't do this! You can't just turn your back on humanity like that! How can you change your mind so suddenly? How is eating people suddenly okay?"
"While my mental barrier was gone, you could read my mind, right?" I inquired indignantly.
Edward slowly nodded.
"So you know what I have seen. You know that animal blood is unhealthy."
"Which is exactly why you have to choose to die!" he shrieked.
"No, I do not, Edward! This is my choice." I jabbed my index finger at my chest for emphasis. "I don't like the idea of killing people—it's horrifying and gross," I admitted with a slight shudder. "But if my destiny is to become a vampire, in order to save the world, then I will deal with it, for the greater good."
Several vampires reacted to my disgust with worried faces. I guessed they must have feared that it could perhaps overwhelm my desire to join them. But they relaxed after I said that last bit.
"…No… please… Bella… no…" Edward whispered in horror. "Screw the greater good! Why don't you let all the vampires go extinct? Then no more humans would ever be killed to feed them. Wouldn't that be a good thing?"
"No!" I insisted.
I was bit surprised by my fervor. It was like I was already one of them. And the struggle to keep vampires from extinction was a part of my own struggle for survival.
"And even if vampire extinction was a good thing," I allowed for the sake of argument. "Millions of innocent humans are going to be caught in the crossfire if it comes to that," I reminded Edward. "And I cannot let that happen. Is it not better that a few should die to protect the majority?"
"That's—" Edward was dumbfounded by my cold reasoning. "…You can't think like that! What if some of those people were your parents? Your friends? Every human being is a friend or family member to someone. How can you take that away from them?"
"That is the cost of war," I found myself saying in an icy tone, which startled me.
And from the way Alice unconsciously took a single wary step backwards, and Aro floated marginally closer in interest, I could tell that my uncharacteristic declaration had surprised them as well.
"People will die, no matter what I choose, Edward," I explained sorrowfully. "But hopefully, because of my intervention, that number will be significantly reduced."
"You… You… WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?!" Edward bellowed irately at Aro.
Aro chuckled darkly. "Isabella knows that her destiny awaits," he sang in utter delight. "And unlike you," he snarled distastefully at Edward, "she embraces the price of immortality with open arms."
Aro outstretched his upward-turned palms in a motion which appeared as though he was inviting someone into a warm hug. Then he drew his hands together in front of his chest. And released a deeply contented sigh.
While Aro silently praised me, I looked expectantly over at Alice. Her golden eyes looked unusually glossy. And this disturbed me. Until I realized that they displayed the vampire equivalent of tears of joy, rather than letting me know I had somehow failed her.
"I knew you were smart enough to make the right choice, Bella!" Alice sang. Though her light, musical voice trembled with great emotion, betraying her true uncertainty over the matter.
A wry smile managed to make its way across my face. I was relieved that Alice was pleased. But I was also still somewhat torn about the notion of killing people. And it felt wrong to grin like an idiot when the price of my imminent immortality was so high.
Yes, it was thrilling in a way that I would soon possess a goddess-like potency of beauty and power. No longer would I be boring, old, clumsy Bella. But I felt that to revel in that now, while I was still just as human as the Volturi's wandering "dinner" would be selfish.
I could enjoy the perks of immortality I had lusted after ever since I had met the Cullens when they were given to me. But for now I needed to step aside and allow Aro and his guards to feed.
The world was safe—for now. And with my resolution to join Aro's guard firmly in place, I had no intention of becoming an appetizer for their main course.
