Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! I'm back and I don't have any satisfactory excuse this time… Lets just say – lost interest in writing, brother's wedding ceremony, new new college life, loads of studies for the final preparation of my forth coming exams, falling in love for the first time in my life, getting my heart ripped out by him within a mere week et cetera… et cetera… So finaly here it is… the new update for SoTS… It's above 18k words, the bigggessst chapter ever! For you guys benefit, I split it in two updates. I hope you don't get bored reading it and I hope you like it :)

Ahm, Strong Adult Content WARNING!

Lucille Arquette and Cassie If you are reading my story, then I must say I'm very grateful for your review. I thank you very much for pointing out my mistakes and being very polite about it at the same time, because you know that English isn't my 1st language. And I know it's no excuse for someone who wants to write in English… but I can assure you, I'm learning everyday. But it may just take a while before I can write good enough to live up to your expectation. I'm sure you can understand that. Lucille, you wrote that you have an account on FF but you won't identify yourself until you see some improvements in my writing… So I promise, I'd try my best to make improvements. But I still wish I could know you… so I could talk to you in PMs.

Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or any of the characters… They belong to L. J Smith and CW.

Previously: Stefan stole Damon's daylight ring, causing him to kidnap Elena. Out of fury, Elena vervained Damon, then tortured him viciously. After getting free, Damon raped her. Elena tried to murder Damon. But at realizing, Damon survived her fatal attack, she tried to escape with the help of a tourist named James. Damon stopped them by wrecking his car. He saved Elena but let James die in the explosion. Kaleidoscopes of vengeful events later, when Damon and Elena finally came to a good place, Elena started seeing James's horrible ghost. At last Damon discovered that Elena was being haunted because he unknowingly triggered it in Elena's head as he accused her for torturing him nightmarishly… he blamed himself for Elena's sufferings and asked her permission to let him compel her to forget every dreadful things she did to him, to relieve herself from her conscience…


Chapter 11: Baring to Me Part I – A Piece of Him

"Elena, let me help you forget", I plead locking our gazes as I clamp her hands with mine and squeeze them lightly, "Please…"


Elena's POV


I lay on the bed, eyes open wide, gaze locked to somewhere beyond the boundaries of the dark shadowy tree outside of the giant wall sized window of his room. It's past the midnight and the bluish moonbeam creeping from the window has filled the entire room, filling it's natural darkness with a strange mystical aura and more magical it is where it's mingling with the bright flickering flames of the elegant fireplace.

It's a quite strict routine for my day and my bedtime was fixed at ten in the night. And I did fall asleep after it was ten. But now I'm laying awake on this massive bed alone, hearing to the chronic song of the crickets along with my own sleepy breathing and the sound of running water coming from the shower. The place besides me is still warm and the buttery bed-sheet mashed and empty. He's not here besides me, like I'm used to seeing him every time I woke up at the night for the past couple of days… Since when the subconscious horror James woke inside of me…

Since then he has never for once left my side… even when I was in the bathroom he was always awaiting right outside so I wouldn't be haunted again. Since when he'd discovered that night that all these horrific stuffs aren't real, they're all in my head because he was the one that triggered all those guilt of bad deeds, I had done to him, he's much more persistent. He's always blaming himself for my sufferings and always in attempt of convincing me to let him use his compulsion on me, so I could forget about it. And I'm the one that has rejected his offer five hundred times.

It's okay this is good. I did all this to him and I have to suffer for the consequences… but how can I say that right now, especially when he had been always by my side to drive the fear, the guilt away from my mind. But he's not gonna be always by my side like this… we have to part sooner or later. He says he'd take me to a witch once he's able to walk in the daylight again… he says they'll find a way to drive James's ghost away from my subconscious. But then why do I keep thinking that my life is doomed without him?

It's been only forty eight hours… God, how have I been so connected to him within this short time? like my life actually depends on him… These two days have been the strangest yet the most extraordinary days of my seventeen years of lifetime. Having to live with a vampire is strange… having to live with a vengeful vampire that is stuck in the shadows during the day is dangerous. But having to live with Damon totally changes all the equations.

During these two days, we've had endless fun and I swear no one ever made me laugh so much in my entire life, not even the company of my family. His little Princess, that's what he calls me and truly he'd treated me like a one. He'd cooked for me, he'd brushed my hair, he'd brought anything and everything I asked for, even my stuffed teddy Mr. Snuggles. Hell, he'd brought me my own toothpaste, which I happened to share with my brother Jeremy and when I asked him what would Jeremy do without a toothpaste for the whole time until I get back home, he simply shrugged and replied that he didn't know if Jeremy knew how to use it. It made me roll my eyes, but on the inside, I could do nothing but roll onto the floor laughing. Latter, he had informed me that he had bought a new toothpaste that he had replaced in our bathroom for Jeremy. I should have ask him, if he had bought a new one then why wouldn't he just bring it here for me and let the old one at home, but I guess his reply would have been something wicked, like he wanted to see how Jeremy would react seeing a whole new tube of toothpaste. He had even taken me out last night to an unknown little waterfall in between the woods and under the shiny moonlight skinny-dipped in the shallow water with me…

He gave me a small vervain necklace, that he insisted me upon wearing all the times. But out of the fear that James's ghost would haunt me and the vervain wouldn't let him access to my mind to drive the fear away, I gave it back to him, so he have a easier access to my mind. I trust him so completely that he won't try to make me do anything else that never for once I regretted my decision. So has he put his entire trust on me…

Today he'd let me call home. I could have easily informed them in what situation and where I was, but that thought never once crossed my mind. I talked to Jenna for about an hour. Then when I asked him to let me speak to Bonnie, he wordlessly let me. It felt so good… Yesterday we cleaned the kitchen, I'd exploded the night before… actually calling 'we' would be a mistake. It was all Damon. He'd only made me sit on a small couch nearby and did all the cleaning by himself fearing that I'd get hurt somehow if he involved me. No matter how much I begged to let me help, he didn't allow me move an inch. I watched helplessly as he cleaned my mess in his vamp speed.

It's not like he'd set me like a free bird. He had some strict rules for me all set up and there's his endless threats. That's the only time when I'm actually aware that I'm a kidnapped little girl, not some freaky Princess from the dreamlands. But truthfully saying his threats doesn't fright me anymore. I used to be afraid… but not now, not anymore. I have had countless chances to easily escape but I didn't even let those thoughts cross my mind. Because I know it's for the best for me to be like this until Stefan comes back with the ring. Because I know it now Damon probably didn't have any other option at that time.

And it's not like he's treating me like shit… He's kind of doing the opposite. He's treating me with so much care and tenderness that makes me wonder often if those nasty things that happened during the first few days of my stays here, did really happen or it was all just a fragrance of my really nightmarish imagination.

Because this past few days he's been spoiling me senseless and whenever I asked Damon why was he spoiling me so much, his reply was a brilliant 250 kilowatt smile and "You're my little Princess and I would spoil you with whatever, whenever and however I want. Stop me if you can." It always made me smile. He even nicknamed me His Princess, I find no reason behind it… But that never stopped him from calling me Princess all the times and honestly I don't think I dislike the sound of it. Secretly my inner goddess pretty much radiates bright golden every time he addresses me his Princess.

But indeed, he's also the one that got me into this mess… he's my captor. He imprisoned me just because he thought I was the closest thing to his brother, I was nothing but a media to him by which he could threaten his brother… He was the one that raped me…

Ever since I understood the meaning of giving yourself fully to someone… Not just body, but my heart and soul all I've done is protecting myself. Countless encounters, countless guys tried to seduce me to bed but I knew it by heart that when I do it I'd do it for true love… that kind of love that doesn't exist on this universe, that kind of love that no one could claim that they have ever had… Endless temptations I'd declined and never for once regretted my decisions. But He raped me. He had not only taken my virginity, he had raped my soul, my belief.

When I look back I don't remember things clearly… everthing's blurry. One second I think that I deserved all this for what I did to him and the next I don't know if I deserved what he did to me or not.

He says he doesn't need to force himself on women. He says women come to him willing… he says he thinks I'd have done the same too, whether it took few days or few years. And I can't deny it… I've felt it. I've felt the tension whenever he has touched me even in a decent manner, or grumbled in a husky voice, or I smelt the musk of his sent when he's working on something, or whenever he's shirtless. It's like a blizzard crushing my five senses, It's like a strong invisible rope that's constantly tugging me towards him, it's a liquid fire burning though my veins. I could tell it for sure that he wants me too… I've seen it's evidence multiple times. But he's in complete control. It's true in this two days he had never once tried to do anything that'd dishonor me, let alone forcing himself on me. So if I ask myself would I have forgotten all my vows, all my decisions and jumped to bed with him willing… The answer is - I don't know… Ever since I met him everything is different. The things I feel when he's around, I can't describe in words.

The word - Temptation has an all new definition when he's in his seductive mode. And the word - Self control just disappears from my dictionary.

There's a light sound of sliding the curtains followed my a silent pair of feet coming out of the bathroom that rips me out of my pointless thinking. Oh I forgot to mention Damon had temporarily hanged a beautiful chocolate color heavy curtain that matches the ones draping from the huge window, on the door-less threshold of his bathroom. It's for my privacy since I'm practically living with him in his room. But never for once had I seen Damon showing the decency of drawing the curtain close whilst it's him who's using the bathroom. But what changed tonight?

Then it clicked… There's bright fluorescent lights lit in there and he didn't want to disrupt my slumber. That's why… so as soon as he's out of the bathroom he slides the curtain back and the room is consumed into darkness once again. Apart from the illustration of natural gleam of the pale moonbeam and the steady flames of the fireplace.

My eyes are slow in adjusting with the low light… But as he comes out of the shadow, into the comparatively more vivid place, I'm able to see his silhouette features.

I see the strong athletic body of a predator as he ever so slowly walk passes the ablaze fireplace. He's only in his dark bluish jeans that is not buttoned and hanging low from his narrow hips… and nothing else.

Speaking of self-control...

The red flames flickering on his pale perfect skin highlighting every bulge, every muscles on his body… The moist shimmer is adding more mystical, more addicting senses to it. I hold my breath as I silently observed this beautiful creature… World's most deadly predator!

I watch as he picks up a black cotton shirt on his way towards the wall-sized window. He silently puts it on, but doesn't fasten up any of the buttons, just lets the black fabric loosely drape from his broad shoulders. My eyes follow him like a hypnotized little puppet's as he approaches to the window, grabs a half emptied bottle of bourbon from the mantelpiece of the fireplace.

In the pale blue moon light he just stands there looking outside of the window… he stands in such an angle so I'm able to see him clearly from my laying position. Pressing my face firmly against the soft pillow, I watch as an eye-stuck, taking in the marvelous sight of sculpted male perfection under the blue moonlight. His thick unkempt hair looks inkier than normal, probably because it's still damp from the shower. Small water droplets are glistening across his chiseled chest and his fine abs, dust of chest hair is sparkling in the moonlight… and the dark patch of his treasure trails. The thing about Damon's body is, it's not too built, he's frame is sort of slender and he's not too tall either. He's lean, he's not too muscled and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Perfection.

Perfection is bursting out from his beautiful features and the moonlight only highlighting it to a new level. My heart rate quickens and there's an aching in my stomach. Does he know that I'm awake and ogling him like a rare delicious dish? Probably not… His expression's speaking. His face look unreadable to me… There's a frown in between his thick eyebrows and his dark eyes look lost in somewhere far beyond the glass window and the darker woods. And how am I suppose to concentrate on what he's thinking when all my attentions are captived by his dashing body gleaming in the moonlight?

When he brings the bourbon bottle to his lips and takes in a small sip and pulls away the bottle, there's a luscious patch of moisture from the alcohol on his plump lips and he darts out his tongue, and runs it absentmindedly across his full bottom lip. My own tongue repeats the action like it's been compelled to do so…

And then suddenly… I don't know what did I do… but he turns his gaze to me and his eyes catches mine in an awkward situation. Suddenly I start to feel hot… the breath I had been holding for so long, start rushing out in short pants and my heart pounds in my chest in an express speed. Is this what they say… Deer caught in the headlight?

Unable to think clearly, I just close my eyes and pretend that he didn't just caught me staring. Is that possible that he didn't see me in the dark? The answer is - no. He's a freaking Vampire for devil's sake.

Not wanting to pretend anymore, I re-open my eyes and take in his eyes bewildered are still on me. Our eyes meet and a cloud of wariness spreads all across his angelic face.

Damon warily walks towards me…

"Can't sleep?" he asks in a tensed voice. I nod my head no… he asks again, "James?"

"No", I reply quietly… Then I move over a bit so he could lie down besides me and silently bid him with my eyes to do so.

He does… Damon silently lies down on his back besides me and tucks one folded arm under his head, then tilts his head towards me and gives a reassuring smile. I smile back and exhale a long elongated breath. I'm tucked under a thin silk sheet upto my shoulders, other than the separation of that thin covering our bodies are almost touching. The nearness of his body is so intoxicating it's like choking me in his warm aura. An awkward silence prevails in the dark room. I try to focus my eyes on anywhere else but his body, so I keep my eyes fixed on his face instead.

Clearing his throat Damon breaks the silence. "Elena… it's quite late. You should be sleeping," he says softly.

"I know", I murmur lowering my gaze. Fumbling with my words, I say, "I just wanted to say thanks to you."

"For what?" Damon asks, his brows knitting in his forehead in confussion…

"For everything… bringing my stuffs here, letting me call Jenna and helping me going through all this", I reply gratefully.

"Oh… it's nothing", he says shrugging his shoulders carelessly, "Figured you'd feel homey if you're surrounded by your own stuffs… and the more homey you are the more happy you would be."

My lips curl up in a gleeful smile. "Thanks… All of it made me very happy", I say, "Now I know me staying here until Stefan returns is pretty much obligatory. But it's a good thing that you atleast know how to take the proper care for your hostage."

"Not proper care, Elena… not proper", he murmurs emitting an elongated deep sigh while distractedly gluing his eyes to the ceiling above, "Only if you could let me compel those memories out of you…"

"No…" I protest shaking my head instantly and determinedly, "No compulsion."

"Well, like for the thousandth time I'm saying… you would have been better", he says turning his head to catch my eyes… his voice almost pleading.

I look away from his pleading eyes. I had to… Because there's something else in his eyes, something I can't explain in words, something that makes me want to give in to him. I know it's not one his vampire tricks of mind compulsion. I somehow know it. It's just something else… "And like for the thousandth time I'm saying… I couldn't let you make me forget all the bad things I did to you…" I hear him letting out a frustrated sigh as he slumps down on the mattress. He doesn't protest, he doesn't speak for a while. When I turn I see his gaze is focused back with the ceiling, his eyebrows frowned as if in bottomless thoughts and his lips pouted slightly. Reaching out I touch his cheek and he's out of his trance in the instant. Tilting his head lightly to face me, I say in a pleading voice, "Damon, it's my choice why aren't you seeing this?"

Our eyes lock. And once again I find myself lost in his oceans of midnight blue orbs. "Sleep", he says before looking away…

But I keep my gaze on him and observe him closely. "You're good, you know", I say, my stare seeing pass his marvelous features, uncovering a totally unknown stranger little by little…

"No… I'm bad, Elena", Damon grunts.

"No. You're only bad when seen from the outside", I protest. Reaching out, cupping his cheek with my little hand, making him face me, I say softly, "I've seen you, Damon… I know you enough to know that you're not that bad that you always pretend to be", rubbing his cheek, I whisper locking my gaze with his, "Damon, why don't you let people see the good in you?"

He sighs and pulls away from my hand, then turns his head back to staring at the ceiling. His chest rises and falls in a heavy rhythm of breathing. He's not gonna answer that, I keep thinking… He's been like this to people, hiding his true self from them for god knows how long. Whereas the truth is he's just misunderstood and… utterly lonely. He's created a fearful image of himself, just so people can't see the softer, better person underneath. Just when I think he's never gonna answer that his lips tremble and he speaks in a bare whisper, "Because when people see good, they expect good", he pauses before turning around, boring his beautiful blue orbs on mine, "I don't wanna live up to their expectations."

Typical Damon! I think… Too soon I realize, I've been gawking at his plump bottom lip. I immediately avert my gaze… Gawd! His lips look so delicious, so soft looking, slightly moist and the most delicious shade of pink… so kissable. Ugh! What was I thinking? Sighing I quickly roll onto my back and slide a thick lock of mane away that was lazily draped on my neck. But the image of his beautiful lips so close to mine, is so fatally plastered on my mind that I almost regret tuning away. Only if I had leaned in a few inches…My stomach starts doing a weird flip flopping as I memorize the feeling of those lips on mine, on my neck, latched around my hardened nipples… Mmmh… there's an unbearable ache down there as my mind drifts away to the feeling I got when he'd kissed me there.

Looking up from underneath,
Fractured moonlight on the sea.
Reflections still look the same to me,
As before I went under...

A light touch on my palm and I'm ripped off my fantasies… my dirty fantasies. Then I realize the hand belongs to Damon, who now is lacing his fingers with mine, rubbing my hand in an unmistakably sensual manner. My gaze lowers to our intertwined hands. Yep! Definitely a sensual manner. Fighting back the shivers and inevitable gasps, I slowly look up to see his face. His face is changed from what I saw only two moments ago, somehow became more angelic. His normal blue orbs are darkened almost to the point of black, as if there's all pupil, no iris at all, a hint of blood on his usual pale skin, his cheeks flushed… and he's looking at me so captivingly, so addictively. He lowers his eyes, causing me to follow his gaze. His gaze falls on my… Oh my God.

How have I not noticed before? The thin sheet I was tucked under upto my shoulders are disrupted and now resting carelessly on my upper belly, revealing my cleavage. My breasts are clearly visible from the angle he's watching thought the deep neckline of my camisole.

I didn't assume that he'd see me in any of this, so I put on whatever I found clean and nice, which turned out to be a dark red camisole that had fine lace around the neckline, the lowest cut amongst the all I owned, too tight too small that fitted my body like a second skin and semi see-through. And also a pair of my shortest, perkiest black pj bottom that barely covers the curves of my ass. He's allowed me the privacy to change and walked out of the room like a perfect gentleman. Then when I was done, I had safely tucked myself into my makeshift cocoon of the butter-silk sheet before he could return in the room and see me.

Now however, my C cup breasts are almost spilling out of the deep neckline and the fact doesn't help that I was fancying dirty things, as a result my hardened nipples are jutting out of the thin fabric as a traitorous evident of my arousal.

Shit! The damn sheet must have slipped down while I abruptly turned around from him. And now he's gawking at my cleavage like a panther, on the verge of leaping on it's prey. Usually people show the decency to take their eyes off if they're caught ogling, but being Damon, not only he doesn't stop staring, but also darts out his tongue and runs it leisurely across his pulp bottom lip like an obsessed.

Did he got inside of my head to know what was I thinking about? I think for a moment… But then again I know he didn't need to. My hardened peaks visibly poking on my semi see-through camisole and as much as humiliating it is to admit, I can myself feel a familiar presence of moisture down there, in between my legs. With his heightened vampire senses, he has definitely seen and smelt the evidences of my arousal. He didn't need to get into my head to know all these.

Then all the sudden his free hand reaches out and his fingertips faintly touch my engorged hard peaks through my camisole as if he couldn't help it. His bold act makes my blood boil. My nipples tighten in response and a needy moan escapes my lips. The next moment, his hand is drawn away and I feel myself shamelessly arching my back, pushing my breasts up, seeking his touch…

And it's peaceful in the deep,
Cathedral where you can not breathe,
No need to pray, no need to speak
Now I am under...

God! What was I doing?

I leap up from the bed and literally run towards the window corner. Oh god! how could I forget- he's the man that raped me, that robed my virginity… he forced himself on me and I'm giving in to him like a worthless needy slut. I gasp loudly while curling my hand into a fist and landing it on the glass with a low thump. I swallow, my mouth suddenly desert dry. I squirm and squeeze my thighs together. My fingers are fidgeting in nervousness, goose bumps erupting on the bare expanse of my legs as a chill runs down my spine…

Why so righteous now, Elena? Why so nervous? Isn't there a great part within you that wants to be with him… that wants to give in completely to him… I pant as a dark part in me snarls with venom in her voice… Isn't this why you wore this dress tonight, secretly hoping that he would notice? Isn't this why you've been trying your best for these two days to seduce him. Lure him. Attract him… Impress him with all your efforts, she say bitterly emphasizing on every word. Those words are like hot acid to my eardrums.

My heartbeat increases as I hear his footsteps approaching me. "Elena…", he whispers… his voice pleading me, melting me. For one brief second, I close my eyes and think… If I could forget all the bad things he did to me, all the bad things I did to him, then he's the man I've been craving like nothing else. He's the one for whom I couldn't keep myself in control whenever he's anywhere near me. Ever since the first time I saw him, he's the only one for whom I fantasized day and night. And there's no excuse, no reason for my wanton behavior. But he's the man I want…

Oh, and it's breaking over me,
A thousand miles down to the sea bed,
I found the place to rest my head.

Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.

Only if I could forget.

Re-opening my eyes, I turn to him. There's a whole new sense of determination boiling inside of me, a determination that wants to wash over all my hesitations, all my limits.

And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,
And all this devotion was rushing out of me,
And the crashes are heaven for a sinner like me,
But the arms of the ocean deliver me.

I dive into his arms, cupping the back of his neck, I capture his lips in a searing kiss. His lips parts just in time mine ones collide with them and he kisses back with an equal fever. His hands coil around the small of my back and press me firmly close to his body, while mine ones clutches his hair, the nape of his neck. Needing air, I pull back a little. But before I can gasp a lung full of air, Damon's demanding grip on my jaw immediately forces my mouth back to his. Unthinkingly I open my mouth and his tongue firmly plunges inside of my mouth.

I'm so devoured in our kiss that I vaguely notice that he's rushing us to the huge glass window, until my back hits the cool glass with a gentle thud. To gain some balance I cling to his shirt while my other hand flies up above my head and my palm lands on the smooth surface of the glass behind me. Damon's hand roughly seizes my hand and pins it further on the fragile glass, while his other hand eagerly travels up and down my back.

We swallow our combined gasps and groans. He presses his hips onto me and I moan in his mouth, causing him to double his efforts as he relentlessly shoves his tongue in and out of my mouth and suckles my tongue into his mouth. At this point Damon's hands are on my ass, groping and squeezing, crashing our bodies together, making me perfectly aware of the hard bulge in his pants and my hands are stroking his chest up and down, finding their way around his back, underneath his shirt, pulling him even closer to me, clawing at him broad shoulder blades. After giving a sharp nip on my swollen bottom lip, he releases my lips and trails his hot mouth down across my chin, and my neck…

"Ahhh…" I moan throwing my head back as I feel his lips trailing wet kisses upon kisses on my throat, down on my clavicles, down on the swell of my breasts, until finally his face is buried in-between the deep neckline of my top. His hand firmly pressing on my back so I'm crushed against his delirious mouth. I moan uncontrollably as he kisses, sucks, nibbles rigorously feasting on the tender flesh there, his lips domineering and vulnerable at the same time. I'm breathless. My heart bangs loudly in my chest as if a little bird's. I can't go on like this… or else I'll have a heart attack. Grasping fistful of his hair with both hands, I wrench his face up from my nearly exploding chest.

He plants a fast kiss on my breathless lips, before drawing back, lifting his eyes to meet mine, his eyes confused as if searching any sign of reluctance, hesitation in my ones. The moonlight is illuminating his fallen angel face, cheeks flashed, lips pink and swollen, raven hair mashed up due to my assaults, eyes fathomlessly black. I switch my lustful gaze from his eyes to his lips, then closing the few inches distance between us, I lock our lips once again.

I kiss Damon with equal passion and devotion that he showed me moments ago. My fingers mingle around his head, pushing his mouth deeper on mine. My legs give up for the sear force of our kiss, my knees buckle. Just the moment I think that I'm about to fall on the floor, his powerful hands grab my pert ass-cheeks and pull me up from the floor, preventing me from falling. To support my weight, I try to wrap my fumble legs around his muscular thighs.

Suddenly Damon twirls with me clinging to his body like a little girl, turning us around he vamp speeds towards the massive bed. He reduces his speed only a bit the moment before my back hits the wooden bulky bedpost. But I don't feel any pain on my back, because I didn't realize before that Damon has enfolded his arms around me, to save my back from the hard impact of being slammed against that.

The impact only startles me for a brief moment, then I go back to kissing him senseless. Panting in his mouth, I try to push his already unbuttoned shirt down his shoulders. He co-operates with me. Pressing my lower body hard in between the woody bedpost and his equivalent rigid body, making sure that I won't fall, he removes a sleeve from his hand while holding me securely with the other hand. He repeats the process and finally gets rid of that shirt and throws it away, none of us cares where it lands.

Winding my arms around his neck, I feverishly place kisses upon kisses on cheeks, his neck, on his shoulders, on his chest, anywhere I could reach without risking falling on my ass. Nibbling and biting my way up his neck, I lick his left earshell before capturing the small earlobe inside of my mouth and nipping on it. Fearing that I might fall, considering the way Damon is wiggling, I secure my legs tighter against his back and lock my ankles. Our crotches are harshly mashed on each other. Damon hisses and his fingers roughly dig on the bare flesh of my thighs. His grunts are akin to painful…

Again another startling process leaves me totally whipped out of breath as I find myself on my back in the middle of the bed with Damon on top of me.

I guess this is how it feels when you are with a vampire. Everything's extreme… The feelings… The speed… The passion… And of course the danger.

I moan and writhe underneath him as he's pressing his mouth roughly on the nape of my neck and his hands grope my breasts mercilessly. The weight of him is pinning me deeper into the fluffy mattress, parting my legs widely so he's perfectly nestled in between, his hips moving back and forth in a motion making clear and warning me of what is about to happen next.

"Oh Damon", I moan loudly, clutch his thick silky mane with both of my hands as he kisses the rise of my breasts. The feel of the day's stubble on his cheeks and chin grazing hoarsely across my tender flesh is just so heavenly.

At this, Damon stops his assaults and rests him forehead motionlessly in between my breasts. Confused, I thread my fingers through his damp hair as I hear his steadying breaths merging with my banging heartbeats. A few short moments later, he lifts his face up and hovering inches away from me he deeply stares into my eyes.

"Make me forget, Damon", I whisper and he abruptly draws back as if I had shocked him with high voltage electricity. Panting he kneels in the gap of my two parted legs, his expressions totally perplexed. I know the way I stated it, it sounded like I'm finally telling him to make me forget by compelling those things out of my mind. But that is not what I meant...

All the bad stuffs that we did to each other, all the memories that have been constantly haunting both of us, there's only one way to forget all this… I have to make him see that it's the only way to forget. Inclining my head up from the bed, I bore my eyes on his confused ones. "Make me forget", I repeat more pleading this time while stretching my arms out to him, showing him how much I want him, showing him I'm willing.

Damon unblinkingly stares at my out-stretched arms in awe, but doesn't make any move. Seeing that he's only observing me and not making a move, I slowly sit up in front of him. Closing the distance, I brush my lips with his. His breaths become more uneven, his warm breaths trickle down my neck, caress my breasts. I let out a sigh before sealing our lips in a gentle kiss. Licking the seam of his lips I coax him to open his mouth for me, which he does, but his lips lay unmoving under my efforts. He just sits there on his knees, frozen. Tension is building up in his rigid shoulders and the nape of his neck. I pull away from his lips just to look into his eyes…

Can't you see I'm coming to you willing?

Can't you see how much I want you?

Can't you sense this?

Can't you see this is the only way of forgetting?

"Make me forget every bad thing that I did to you… make me forget every bad thing that I forced you to do to me…" I say breathlessly before leaning close and kissing him again. This time he kisses back but I can taste the hesitation in his lips as he does so. But I guess I succeeded making my point.

Opening his mouth with my tongue, I devour every corner of his mouth, while my hands are on his bare torso, feeling the light tickle of his soft chest hair under my palm. Damon's hands rest on the either side of my hips, gripping me ever so gently. I grab the back of his head and kiss him deeper. My body is pressed up against him, clinging to his warm embrace. "Make me forget everything else", I whisper once more.

Gently as if I'm a fragile glass doll, Damon lays me down on my back and begins to kiss my neck. I arch my head back giving him a better access. He doesn't press his hips too hard on mine, he makes sure to support his entire body weight on his hands and elbows. After a long penetration of his sweet kisses upon every inch of my neck and the swell of my breasts, he glances up.

Staring directly into my eyes, Damon hikes my up my top, revealing my stomach inch by leisure inch. My heart thuds loudly in my ribcage as his intense stare holds my eyes, while his one hand takes my both hands in his and pushes them above our heads and his other one keeps pulling the camisole up. His burning gaze leisurely takes in every inch of my skin that is revealing to him as if feasting on me with his eyes… Unable to take this anymore I close my eyes. Even with my eyes close I could almost see the hungry expression on his handsome features.

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

How long has it been since he's holding my hands pinned above my head while still pushing the camisole up my stomach? Maybe an eternity... But his slow deliberate acts seems a lot sensual, a lot torturous to me, than him ripping the fabric apart within a mare heartbeat. I feel the familiar throbbing in between my legs as the edge of to the top rests just below my heaving breasts. My breaths grow heavier and goose bumps start to arise all over my body. Ohhh! The anticipation is going to be the death of me…

I close my eyes just in time I feel cold air hitting my now exposed breasts as he tugs the top up, bouncing free my boobs. "You're so beautiful, Elena", I hear Damon mutter in a low voice. Blush creeps up my neck and my cheeks. Trembling, I open my eyes and find his darkened orbs greedily glued to my jutting breasts. The cold air and his erotic stare have made my dusky red nipples stand out, the pinking areolas puckered tight as if begging to be kissed and sucked.

Never have I ever felt so bare in my life… Not even when for the first time, he found me naked in his shower…

My earlier boldness vanishes. Out of instincts my hands, tend to creep downwards to cover my nakedness. But Damon keeps his firm grip on my hands, making me unable to cover up myself. Bashfully I close my eyes once again. "Look at me, Elena", I hear him murmur. I feel his lips slightly brushing mine, his hot breaths on my lips. He covers my mouth with his and kisses me deeply before pulling away and murmuring again, "Open your eyes, Baby… Look at me." His soothing voice leaves me no choice but to comply. Blinking my eyes, I open up, but keep my gaze downwards, unable to gather the courage to meet his eyes. Damon places his fingers under my chin and lifts my face up, until his able to hold my gaze captive with his eyes. He says huskily, "You're so very beautiful, Elena. You shouldn't be ashamed of anything. You don't need to hide."

Looking in his eyes, I nod my head and leaning forward he seals our lips. My hardened nipples graze across his equally nude chest, my hips move with his in that times old rhythm. His hand squeezes my ones gently, giving me an assurance, while his other hand glides from across the undersides of my breasts, on my rips, my belly and presses harder on just under my belly button, making the fluttering butterflies ramble deep inside of my womb. I moan in his mouth and breaking the kiss, he again starts tugging at the camisole that's resting upon my neck. I lift my head up so he could pull it above my head and my out-stretched arms.

"Mmm", I whimper and unconsciously grind my hips against his groin as Damon sucks and nibbles on the inside of my right upper arm. I know he'd leave his mark there, but I can't do anything 'cause he's got my hands pinned above my head. So I lay helpless and whimpering to his ministrations. Damon trails the tip of his nose down across my inner arm, down my shaved armpit, further down, until he's mouth is hovering centimeters above my engorged right breast. He licks my aching nipple before drawing away and blowing hot breath on it. My nipples visibly twitch in response and my back arch up seeking more of his delicious torments. Eyes close to my twitching peaks he grunts, "Very responsive…"

And I blush at the compliment…

Damon lets out a small throaty chuckle before he descends his mouth onto my right breast and rigorously kissing and sucking, his other hand massaging my other breast in a matching rhythm. He's slow and thorough in his taking in of ravaging my body. Shuddering I glance down at him and I see his mouth latched around my nipple as if a leech attached to my aflame skin. At times he's sucking so hard as if sucking my soul out, while his fingers pinching and twisting my other nipple. There is a rough gentleness in his ravishing. But his slow torment is what making me scream in agony. How didn't I realize it before that my nipples are so sensitive? Whenever he flicks his tongue on my areola or nips on the tender underside of my breast, I gasp and claw at his hand that's still pinning my hands. Alternating, he gives the same attention to my other breast, animalistic grunts escaping his mouth. The hot sensation on my swollen boobs rushes all the way down to my aching center. I constantly buck, squirm and whimper underneath him as I feel my muscles contracting in an agonizing approach of my release.

What's happening to me?

Arching my hips up, I grind my core against the rock hard bulge in his pants, seeking friction. The presence of the rough fabric of our pants is adding more sensations in me. Sensing my orgasm is nearing, Damon multiplies his efforts.

"W – What are you doing to me, Damon?" I pant in between little moans.

Lowering my gaze, I find his aqua blue eyes stared up at me while his tongue still lapping on my left nipple. The corner of his lips curls up in a triumph smile as he speaks in a low grumble, "Let go, Baby."

His teeth close around my nipple, while his deft thumb and forefinger tug at my other nipple with a sharp twist… Screaming, scratching at his hand, I fall apart in his arms, my body convulsing in several long, hot spasms.

Damon lets go of my hands and I limply land them at the back of his head as he kisses me deeply, swirling his tongue with mine… Parting from my lips he places feather soft kisses on my cheeks and my chin. I loosely play with his hair, still recovering from my earth-shattering climax, my breathing still ragged and raw.

Did I just climaxed? I think in absolute wonder as I attempt to regain air in my lungs. I can't believe Damon just made me climax by just sucking my breasts!

"Elena", Damon groans in a raspy voice as I experimentally rock my hips grinding my heated core against the hard bulge in his groin as if to make out it was still present or not. Damon's hand firmly grips my waist to prevent me from doing such experiments, before moving down from my waist to my hips, slipping through the elastic waistband of my pj pants, passing the curls of my public hair, then finally discovering the puddle of my center.

"Fuck. You're so dripping wet for me", Damon groans out as his lean finger slides between my wet puffy folds. His probing middle finger soon fills my core and his breath hitches at how smoothly my heated flesh welcomed his digit. Pushing the long finger knuckles deep in and out a few times, he adds another one and starts stretching me. His palm presses hard onto my elongated bundle of nerves. My toes curl and my back arch off the bed.

A short while of sweet agony later, Damon draws his hand back and holds it out before his and my eyes, while supporting his weight on his other hand he hovers inches above me. I blush crimson seeing the big hand totally drenched with milky white substance, which now is glistening with the flickering flames of the fireplace… and a thin thread of my wetness is linking his slightly stretched forefinger and middle finger. Holy shit!

Leaning close, Damon inhales a long sniff and groans, "Smells sooo good." Then darting out his tongue he starts lapping at the thick juice covered fingers and palms. "Mmmh… so good… so exquisite", he groans again and again. Oh God! The sight is so beyond erotic, the sight of his tongue dancing his own fingers reminding me of the things he could do with that tongue, is just too much I can bear. I squeeze my legs tightly to stop myself from flooding rivers down there. His eyes frequently are landing down on mine as if to throw some kind of challenge.

From where the boldness occurs in me, I have no idea, but soon I find my head reaching up and my tongue doing laps on the other side of hand and fingers, tasting myself on his hands. Closing my eyes I lick the junction of his finger as he stretches them out for my better access. A little longer and then I realize, I'm the only one licking, Damon's drawn back and he observing my filthy action lustfully. Making him release a low grunt, I grip his broad wrist with both of my hands and guide his fingers inside of my mouth. Peeking up from my eyelashes, I continue to suck his fingers, stroking them with my tongue. I could feel that the taste of my nectar is already gone from his fingers, but I keep doing it just because I like taking in the sight of his pulp lips parting slightly in short, low gasps. My hand on his wrist is pushing his fingers in and out of my mouth as I hollow my cheeks and suck harder.

A devilish smirk spreads across his lips as his thumb strokes my cheek. My mouth still filled with his two fingers, I grin looking directly at him, before biting on those fingers. Damon instantly pulls his fingers out. Those fingers, which were once glistening with the juice of my sex, are now thickly coated with my saliva. I grin at him.

"Little Minx", he mutters staring down at me, his voice tight and raw.

Damon's gaze falls on his once again soaked fingers and he smiles before trailing them upon my lower lip, down my chin, down my neck, across the valley of my breasts.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks, his jaws clenched tight, eyes burning in passion, while lazily circling his damp fingertips around my pebbled nipple.

"Oh please", I whine, while clinching my legs around his waist as hard as I could.

Eyes closed tightly, Damon releases a long hiss as if he's suffering.

"Please", I beg again. Damon moves to sit up between my legs. He gives me a haughty smirk, before yanking down my black pj pants. The cold air hits my sensitive flesh and my clit start to throb anew. His darkened eyes bored on my fully naked form, adding more burning sensations to my core. Instinctively, my thighs attempt to squeeze together to cover my hot wet center from his intense staring. But sitting upright in between my legs, he prevents me from crossing my legs.

I bite my full bottom lip as he unbuttons his jeans in a slow, teasing manner. By the time, his lean fingers are pulling the zipper down, my heart is pounding hard within my ribcage. Chewing on my lip hard, I glance down, almost fearfully and his erection springs free from his jeans.

My breath hitches at my throat as I stare at his huge penis. Like I said a lot of times before… I've never actually seen any man's penis other than Damon's. Ahm… if we don't count the ones I was made to see by Caroline ever since I turned thirteen. But I've never seen any guy this big even in the "big cock" tagged porn videos. And the more horrifying thing isn't his massive length but his girth. It makes me wonder how I'm still intact in one piece and not ripped in two. His penis is really thick and all veiny. But tonight it doesn't seem like throbbing angrily and purple. Tonight it seems like it's glowing, radiating heat.

Tonight I'm not afraid of it. Not anymore…

Trembling I reach out and lightly trace the pulsating vein with my fingertip. His jaws tighten, eyes roll to the back of his head. Encouraged, I let my fingertip press on the glistening pearl drop leaking from the tip and as I apply a little bit pressure, I'm immediately awarded with an elongated hiss… and a gentle slap on my hand.

Damon slaps my hand away, not wanting to tolerate my teasing anymore and hurriedly pushes down his jeans and kicks it free from his ankles.

The next moment Damon's back on top of me, his naked body pressed flush against mine, hands on the either side of my head, face only a few inches away from mine. He leans down and kisses me deeply. I spread widely apart. His hips press down on mine, moving back and forth, gliding his cock in between my puffy nether lips. I moan in his mouth as my clitoris rubs against his hardness. He presses a few more times, making the underside of his cock fully coated with my juices.

"Elena", he mutters nibbling my lips, "Gonna get inside you now."

"Yes", I reply, looking straight into his dark blue eyes, which were hovering centimeters over mine ones.

With this, Damon starts pushing himself inside me. My eyes partly close, my lips opens in a silent gasp as the thick head enters my tight core. My inner walls start squeezing around him in excitement. My fists clench balls with the bed sheet. Ever so gently, Damon keeps pushing himself, until he's buried balls deep within me. He holds himself there motionless, letting me get accustom to his impossible length and width.

My inside delightedly stretches around him. Oh God! I feel so full… so full of him. My eyes close taking in the alien sensation. His cock seems getting larger inside of me. Is that even possible? My thoughts are interrupted as I hear him emitting low grunts. Opening my eyes, I find Damon's eyes clenched shut tightly, his jaws tightened and the veins on his neck standing out. I know he's holding back himself, just so I don't get hurt. It's true, even when he's this gentle, my inside still hurts a little. Maybe it's because he's this huge or maybe because I'm still so new at this. But I know Damon can make all the pain go away. As much as hard it is for me to admit that, even when he forced me back in those days he still made sure the pleasure he gave me overcame the pain.

But he'd hurt me so much in the past, so it's natural that he thinks that he'd hurt me again, even thought I'm certain that he won't. Nevertheless right now, I can feel that Damon's nervous, he's afraid that he'd hurt me. It's about time, I realize, I'm the one that have to drive his fear away.

Pushing my head up the bed, I find his luscious lips. I try to clench my inner walls around him as if to indicate him to go on. But I find no control over my muscles, my inexperience is overwhelming. I kiss him deeper, his responses are slow and restrained. His lips tremble as I lick the seam of his lips.

"Damon", I whisper and his eyes exclusively concentrate on me. "Make love to me," I find myself begging to him.

"Elena", he whispers, right before slamming his lips on mine. There's a strange urgency in his kiss. His lips are fierce yet surprisingly gentle. Parting with my lips, he bores his eyes on mine as he pulls out a few inches, then fills me again with a deep thrust. My mouth hangs open in a long needy moan.

Damon starts a slow hard rhythm, pulling out slowly, then plunging in, each time taking me a little deeper. My wetness is supplying the lubricants he needs for his swift movements. My inner walls clinch tight around him as if the keep him there forever.

Eventually, I get used to his pattern and I start moving my hips up in time he slams down on me, meeting his every thrust with all I could manage with my newbie experience. He's releasing deep groans and often murmuring my name. My moans of pleasure are neverending…

Damon locks my eyes with his, his gaze amazed as he observes my lips parting in loud moans, each time he drives in, deep. I reach out and I wipe off the sweat beads gathering on his forehead, his mussed hair glues to his forehead due to the dampness.

Damon smiles softly at my gentle gesture. It's then I notice, there's an unfamiliar presence of moister in his eyes. Holy crap. Is he crying! My human eyes couldn't detect it in the dim light until now…

"Oh my God, Damon" I gasp out in surprise as I cup his face in my hands, "Why are there tears?"

"Nothing", he says trying to look away, but a small drop of tear escapes the corner of his eye despite of his abrupt denying.

"No, Damon. Tell me", I say almost panting, while my fingertips trace the tears.

At this Damon breaks into crying. "I'm sorry for everything that I did", he mumbles before leaning in and kissing my cheek. "Oh I'm so, so sorry, Elena", he showers my face with hundreds of tiny kisses, kissing every inch of my face, my cheeks, my lips, my forehead, my eyelids, while murmuring, "I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" he keeps chanting like a mantra as tears continue to rain down his cheeks.

He's sobbing like a little baby because of me? Oh my God!

"It's okay…" I say rubbing his cheeks, in attempt to sooth him, "Shh… It's okay. I forgive you, Damon", I say breathily, directly looking into his eyes before reaching up and kissing his cheeks, kissing the tear droplets away. I carry on kissing his face as I raise my hips up to meet his every deep thrust.

In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold,
And all this devotion I never knew it all
And the crashes are heaven for a sinner released,
But the arms of the ocean delivered me.

Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.

"Thank you," Damon gives me a small smile hearing my assurance. I smile back. Our mouths descend on each other, entangling our tongues, swallowing each other's cries. Our bodies start slamming against each other. The mattress starts bouncing under our entangled bodies with his every deep, hard thrust. I feel the muscles of my lower abdomen start to clinch as Damon picks up the speed.

Damon grabs the back of my thighs, wrapping them around his waist he starts penetrating me even deeper. I lock my ankles and my arms cling to shoulder blades for support.

I raise my head up from the bed and plant butterfly kisses on his clavicles, on his biceps. His hands start stroking me every where, squeezing my bottom, or my breasts, or my arms as if wanting to have a part of me in his hands all the times, as if making sure I'm there for real. His pelvic bone rams against my blazing clitoris as he pounds into me, deep and hard. Ripples of shock waves rush deeply into my womb. Very soon, I start moaning and writhing like crazy.

The thick head of his cock grazes across very sensitive place inside my womb and I scream aloud. Damon grunts along with me as my inner walls clasp around his thick member.

"Aghhh… I'm gonna cum, Elena", Damon shouts, arching his back.

"Yesss…" I cry out, "Cum, Damon. Cum inside me."

Both of our voice hoarse, our moans of pleasure resembles animalistic.

"No… Not without you", he pants looking down on me before clamping my lips with his… his tongue moving inside of my mouth with the same urgency as his cock. "Cum with me, Baby", he whispers against my lips as he squeezes my breasts, hard…

He punctuates his word with one last deep thrust and I feel him explode his hot seed deep inside of me, it makes me shatter around him.

"AHHH…. Damon…." I scream, digging my nails deep on his upper arms. He gives it a few more shuddering thrusts as he unloads himself completely inside of me.

Panting, Damon limply collapses down on me, crushing me with his weight. His forehead pressed against mine as he asks, "Are you ok?"

"Hmm", I purr, my lips curling in an ear to ear grin. Damon snickers and locks our lips. I let out a small whine at the sudden emptiness as he pulls out his softening cock from inside my core. Then he gets off me and rolls over to lie on his back beside me.

And it's over,
And I'm goin' under,
But I'm not givin' up!
I'm just givin' in.

Slipping underneath.
So cold, but so sweet...

We lay by each other's side in utter silence. Our ragged breaths eventually become regular. The light breeze in the room tickles my sweat-soaked skin. I shiver. It seems the temperature of the room has gotten down a few degrees. Searching with my legs, I find the piled up bed-sheet and pull it over my body.

Clutching the sheet to my chest, I roll over to face him and he eyes me with a tender smile on his lips, his head propped up on his elbow. Extending his other hand, he threads his fingers through my hair, caressing them, coiling the tips around his finger tips, brushing the strands of hair on my arms and clavicle, with a genuine smile on his lips. Those eyes, that smile, the sweet caress are deliberately making me feel as if I'm something precious to him.

Goose bumps start to appear on my skin. Without saying a word, I slowly sit up on his bed while still clutching the silk sheet tightly around my breasts.

"What now?" Damon asks out of curiosity, he's frowning gaze follows my every move. I don't answer but keep looking for my stranded clothes. I find my camisole dangling from the bars of the wooden headboards. Reaching out I pluck my tangled top from in between the bars.

This is the same bars where I had tied his hands that night…

A bitter memory flashes painfully in the back of my head.

Clasping my teeth on my bottom lip, I look for my discarded pj bottoms and I find it near the foot board… I move myself to get it.

This is the same bed where I had tortured him with vervain and I left him to burn in the sunlight. And this is the same place where he raped me that night…

More nasty memories and I find my breaths suffocating, my blood freezing to iced-water. Damon's watching me suspiciously as I gather my clothes. "Are you feeling cold?", he speaks softly.

"Hmm…" I nod my head yes, still chewing on my bottom lip. Damon watches me as I put on the red camisole, then lifting my bottom up from the mattress, I put the black short pj back on as well. But even after this the shiver doesn't go away… so curling my hands around myself I start rubbing my skin in attempt to warm myself up. At this, Damon gets up and stretching out, he fetches his discarded black cotton shirt from the foot of the bed.

"Here… put this on", says Damon handing the shirt to me… I take it from him with a grateful smile on my lips. Then I slip it on over my camisole and button up upto my breasts. The shirt immediately engulf s me in it's warm heaven and the musk of his odor comforts me like I can't explain…

Clutching the oversized shirt to my body, I leisurely lay my head down, until it's rested on top of Damon's chiseled abs, making a frantic gasp escape from his lips. With an outstretched hand, Damon grabs the edge of the fluffy duvet and throws it over ourselves, covering both our bodies, so that where my head resting on his stomach and upwards is exposed. I turn around my head and catch him gazing at me. He gives me a cheeky smile but doesn't take his eyes off me, neither do I turn my gaze elsewhere.

Laying my head upon his flat stomach, I give in to the ever so inevitable thoughts about my present whereabouts and the necessary obligation. Listening to my own heartbeats, my head going up and down with each his breaths and rhythms of our breaths strangely match, mingle with each other. Pressing my face against ribs, my gaze bores to his strained face, while my mind drifts of to somewhere else far beyond…

"Elena… what's going on in that sweet head of yours?" Damon's low murmur brings me back from the daze.

"It's nothing, Damon", I reply, faking a polite smile before looking away from him again.

A sigh emits from deep within his chest and his cool fingertips touch my chin. Tilting my face towards his, Damon stares into my eyes and asks again, "What is it, Elena?"

I couldn't escape that gaze. It's soft yet so surprisingly demanding… I sigh before answering, "I was just thinking…"

"Thinking what?" Damon asks softly, while caressing my hair.

"Um… I don't know, I thought it'd help me forget…" I mumble in confusion.

"It didn't?" he asks, his voice bit alarmed, his eyes showing deep concern.

"No… I mean I couldn't forget", I respond averting my gaze from him.

"And why is that, Princess?" he presses on, still stroking my hair lightly.

"I though at the beginning that the way you were making love to me, would make me forget all the horrible things we had done to each other in the past", I could hardly find my voice as I spoke. I can feel my vision blurring with the familiar presence of tears welling up in my eyes. "It didn't really work," my small voice chokes in my throat and I find myself biting my quivering bottom lip.

At this Damon's face instantly becomes very serious, the ever-longing smile fades away. He straightens himself and gently cups my face. Holding my gaze captive, he states in tensed voice, "Listen, Elena… what I did to you isn't worth forgiving nor forgetting. No one in this world can just remove this sort of horrible events from their lives… and I can't express how sorry I am for what I did to you and I'm guilty and I will always be and the only way I see, you forget this is letting me compel these things out of your mind. Elena, please understand… This is the only way." I feel warm teardrops rolling down my cheeks as I look into his unfathomable blue eyes, pleading me to agree just this once.

But this isn't fair…

Bracing myself, I hastily sit up on the bed, turning away from him. "No. That's not an option", I say shaking my head in denial. I try to sound tough as I speak.

"Well then tell me…" Damon speaks loudly, almost yelling as he hurriedly sits up besides me. I startle at his sudden rough voice and he regrets immediately. I watch carefully with my tear stained eyes as he fists his messy hair with his both hands and shuts his eyes close in frustration. Damon inhales deeply a couple of times before re-opening his eyes and boring them on mine, he grabs my shoulders. "Tell me what can I do to make it better. Tell me anything, please", he pleads desperately shaking my shoulders, his voice sweeter this time.

"I couldn't forget because when you were making love to me all I could think about was it could have been this way", I say looking down on my knotted fingers, my voice choked, almost at the brink of fall apart. "I couldn't forget because your every kiss, every touch, every whisper was the painful reminder that if I hadn't sabotaged you earlier… You warned me a thousand times and I was so confident so, so blind that I called your bluff. If I hadn't teased you, tortured in that savage way, my precious first time would have been like this. I couldn't forget because I couldn't stop my mind from comparing…" Damon gasps, his expressions visibly change at my honest statement. He looks at me in awe as I continue, "How can I ever forget all that happened, now that I've felt it, now that I know, it could have been this way? I couldn't forget, Damon…" now is the time my barriers break down and tears run uncontrollably from my eyes. I clasp his hands with mine and shake them as I express my regret, "I'm so sorry for everything I did to you, Damon… I blamed you blindly for so long. I couldn't damn see it, that it was all my fault. But I see it now, Damon. If I hadn't done all those vicious torments, then none of this would have happened."

Reaching out Damon cups my cheeks and forces me to look at him as he speaks urgently, "Elena, no. it's not your fault alone. I'm the one that should be blamed for all this. Not you… you hear me. It's not your fault."

But his soft words fail to give any assurance. Because now I can see it clearly that all I've been doing these past few days, is blindly blaming him for my guilt. "No… no, don't you see it. I did this. It's my fault", I mumble sobbing frantically.

Damon immediately embraces me and surrounds me in his warmth. "Shhh… Don't cry", he whispers kissing my hair as I continue to weep against his bare chest, "Just try to get some sleep… okay, my sweet Princess."

"I'm so, so sorry… not just for what I did to you. I'm also the only one responsible for whatever happened to me, whatever you were forced to do to me was because of my sick plans of revenge," I continue to murmur apologies as Damon sooths me in his arms, cradling me like a little girl, pressing his lips on my forehead...

"It's okay… it's okay… just sleep now."


Music for the Chapter: Florence and The Machines – Never Let Me Go

Author's Note: Oh My God… I haven't written erotic stuffs like this in ages. I'm so nervous and on top of it, there was a lot of inner turmoil going on and I'm not sure I'm satisfied with what I've done. I kept writing and re-writing hoping that I could do better. But…

Review! Please review… I need to know what's on you guys' minds ASAP!

I'm posting the part two right away. Check that out :)))