AN: So here's the thing, I'm a review whore and am DESPERATE to reach 100 reviews because I've never had that many before. So I'm giving my readers a goal to shoot for - if I get 10 reviews for this chapter, I promise to update again within the week. I know it's too much to ask for, but I'm so frickin close to 100 that I feel arrogant enough to ask for 10. So sue me.

The chapter starts off with an angry inner Sirius monologue, if you're wondering what he's thinking at the moment you might want to pay attention. I'm sorry this chapter isn't as Skate-y as the others (Sirius/Kate - Skate, yeah thanks HarleyQ lol). It's more of a set up for what's to come. Yep, I'm evil, I know


Chapter 11


Sirius punched his pillow in frustration. He wanted the voice of Kate Nolan out of his head, all the little criticisms she had to offer were enough to make anybody implode.

What perturbed Sirius the most was the fact that he actually cared. What she said was actually affecting Sirius, but he couldn't figure out how or why. Everything that was said were only regurgitated snippets of things Kate had said before, only this time, it all came out at once and in a big rush. Perhaps because it had all hit him at once, Sirius was just beginning to realize there was a small sap of truth to Kate's words.

But if he didn't care, then why was it bothering him?

Maybe because Kate Nolan did care.

She made it a point to remind Sirius everyday how much of a bad person he was. And it wasn't even that Sirius was bad, just flawed. But of course, Nolan liked to lump everything into black and white terms. Still, the fact that Kate Nolan cared frustrated Sirius to no end, because that only meant that he did care what Kate thought. Which was stupid, because he hated her.

"Stupid bint," he said.

"Talking to yourself, not a good sign," said James, who had overheard him. "So how's your little Angst Corner going, mate?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said tersely. "It's not as if I'm upset or anything!"

"Still bent up over Nolan?" asked a newly recovered Remus, who just swept into the boys' dormitory.

"Moony!" said Peter. "How are you? Good?"

Before Remus could answer, Sirius sat up and said, "Well, if it isn't Sir French A Lot! Shouldn't you be walking up to random girls and snogging the hell out of them?"

"Down Padfoot," said James playfully. "There's no need to be jealous. Remus was, after all, under a love potion that was designated for you."

Sirius was too agitated to even put up a fight with James this time. Besides, he was a little too preoccupied with what James had mentioned - the love potion was for him.

"What do you mean it was for me?" asked Sirius, who already began imagining the unlikely scenario of Kate and Lily standing over a cauldron to brew the love potion.

"Evans gave you the butterbeer, didn't she? I think they were trying to get you back," shrugged James. "You know, for starting that rumor of Kate's, er, deflowering."

"I didn't start it!" said Sirius heatedly.

"Sure," said Remus disapprovingly, "but you had no problem adding to the fuel of the fire, did you?"

Remus was referring to when Bertha Jorkins eagerly asked Sirius whether he and Kate really spent the night in some broom cupboard. At first Sirius vehemently denied the accusation, but upon realizing how more Kate's reputation would be tarnished, he changed his mind and told Bertha otherwise.

"That just proves that Nolan's evil, like I've been saying all along," said Sirius. "Just because I didn't do anything to stop some stupid rumor, that bint overreacts by trying to put a love potion on me? She might as well try some dark magic on me."

Sirius was, for an inexplicable, satisfied and relieved to have yet another reason to hate Kate; she was a trifling schemer, like some despicable Slytherin.

"Speaking of her deflowering," said Peter. "People keep asking. What should we tell them?"

"I say, keep the trend up," said Sirius. "Let them think me and Nolan bumped uglies, as Merle Lucas so eloquently put it."

While Peter laughed heartily at the idea, James stood over Sirius' bed to give him a solemn look.

"You're not really going to let people think that?" said James.

"Oh no, Mum!" said Sirius, annoyed that James seemed to disapprove, when it was Remus who usually disapproved. "It's not as if Nolan deserves it... Hang on, yes, she does deserve! Prongs, aren't you supposed to take my side on this?"

"You didn't see her face though," said James. "When you gave her the journal back. She was looking upset, and she even asked me if you'd be okay."

"She's faking," said Sirius coldly. "That's what she does. She manipulates people into thinking that she has a heart, which she doesn't." Inexplicably, Sirius' thoughts wondered back to the scene by the lake, when Kate demanded her journal be turned; there had been a glint of hidden vulnerability to her eyes, a glint that still lingered with Sirius.

"Could we please stop talking about Nolan?" snapped Sirius. "I'm sick of hearing her name."

"I like her name," said Peter innocently. "It's pretty, in a plain way, like her... Kate Nolan." He smiled.


"Kate Nolan, tell me what's wrong or I'll scream!" Alice said.

Kate shook her head and said in a defeated sort of voice, "I'm fine, Alice. Stop bringing it up."

"No, you're not fine! You've been sulking all morning."

Leah nodded in agreement. "It is quite annoying."

"Nothing's wrong," said Kate, too tired to think of something more clever to say. "Have you guys seen Merle around?"

Lily spoke up, "She's in the dorms, I think. See you around?"

"Yeah."

Kate left the courtyard they had been standing at, heading for the Gryffindor girls dormitory. When she entered, Kate found Merle sprawled out on one of the beds with a copy of Witch Weekly open.

"Merle?"

"Yes?"

Kate sat down on the edge of Merle's bed, her arms crossed self-consciously.

"You're the only person I know who's brutally honest, as sad as that is. Can I ask you something?"

"Hmm."

"Am I mean?"

For a moment, Merle stared at Kate with a blank, almost curious expression on her face. Merle eventually set down the copy of Witch Weekly.

"Kate. I love you, but you're a heartless troll."

Not expecting such a blatantly hurtful answer, Kate's immediate response was to go on the defensive.

"Oh honestly, I am not that bad! Right?"

"It's not anything to be ashamed of," assured Merle. "Look at it this way - us Gryffindor girls are supposed to be mean, it's out lot in life. Mary Macdonald spits on people; Leah Jacobs holds long-winded grudges. It's just what we do, since nobody else has the guts to do it."

"What about Lily, she's a perfect angel."

"Sure," nodded Merle. "But if you haven't noticed, she's got a bit of a temper."

"What about me?"

Merle grinned at Kate, "You're my favorite mean one, because you don't even know that you're malevolent."

"But - but I don't spit on people like Mary and I don't hold grudges like Leah, so what's the problem?!"

"It's not really a problem," said Merle assuring. "It's just... you nitpick at everything, and you criticize nearly anyone you encounter."

Kate thought hard about this for a moment. Kate knew that she was a little too sardonic at times, but she didn't think it bothered anyone else. But the nitpicking thing...

Merle started proving her points through examples.

"Remember the time you told Bertram Aubrey about a spell that could fix his crooked nose?"

"Yes, but I was only trying to help him look more normal."

"It only made him feel self conscious. Or the time when you were tutoring Peter Pettigrew to help him with OWLs; you got so fed up that you just proclaimed in front of everyone how hopeless Peter was. Funny, but cruel."

"It wasn't cruel!" said Kate defensively. "Pettigrew deserved what he got, he has the intelligence level of a third year..."

Kate froze, realizing that Merle was right. She was criticizing.

"Oh bugger, I am mean!"

Merle nodded in sympathy.

"But it's the truth though," said Kate. "Isn't that what people want to hear, the truth?"

"Not necessarily. They'd much rather hear the abridged version of the truth, and then figure it out for themselves. Of course, I really don't care for the 'abridged version' that's just nonsense in Merle terms...

"Oh, and while we're on the subject of you, you're a bit stuck up and prudish. I still love you though."

Kate felt like crying at that moment. How did she become so mean-spirited? When Kate was a little girl, she couldn't even kill an ant in cold blood. Now at age sixteen, she regularly tore down the self-esteems of those around her, not to mention the amount of insects she's mercilessly killed in Potions class.

Kate felt the sudden urge to apologize to everyone she hurt. She wanted to hug Merle for all those implied jokes that Merle belonged in St. Mungo's. She wanted to tell Remus that it didn't matter whether he was a crappy prefect because he was a much better friend and that's all that mattered. She was even willing to tell Pettigrew that he was brilliant for his determination, he was only a slow learner at things.

But the strangest and most unwanted urge was the need to apologize to Sirius Black for the things she said, no matter how true they rung.

Her reverie broke when Lily swept into the dormitory. At the sight of Lily, Kate remembered the time she had said that Lily made a crappy best friend. What was she thinking?

Kate leapt up and wrapped her arms around Lily's shoulders. "You're the perfect best friend - and I don't deserve you!"

"Er, okay?" said Lily, confused but nonetheless flattered. "Merle, what did you do to her?"

As Kate pulled away to exit the dormitory, she heard Merle say, "Nothing, I just told her what she needed her."


AN: This chapter was meant to be a lot longer but frankly, I'm not sure how I'm going to approach the upcoming scenes I planned.

Even if you hated this chapter (which I suspect will happen since it wasn't as exciting), it was still useful, as Kate finally got some redemption. This chapter is also supposed to be a set up for the next chapter, which I plan on being DRAMATIC and TEAR-INDUCING. Yea, it's kind of exciting.

REPLIES TO ANON:

marriannavdbilt: Wow, you are too sweet. I'm so happy to hear that you like Kate's "brilliantly crafted psyche" because I put a lot of work in trying to make her flawed and believable. And for some reason you bringing up "If Nolan batted an eyelash" line happier. Thank you, thank you!

Eugenia: Why thank you, I'm glad my story has "rhythm" (whatever that means. Mind explaining it to me? lol).

rachelray: I was laughing while I was writing that chapter, it was seriously difficult just to stop making spasms at the keyboard while I was writing Remus kissing her. I mean sure, if you're under a love potion you'll be a bit out of your mind and do things unexpected, but Remus just snogging her is still crazy.

HarleyQ: I am seriously loving your essay reviews, keep 'em coming. It's good you think Sirius is in character, that's entirely what I intend! You have no idea how happy that makes me when people tell me that my Sirius characterization is spot in. He is my fav character, and I hate it HATE IT when Sirius is constantly butchered in fan fiction. He's either too womanizing or too pre-pubusent or a lethal combination of both. In my mind he is an oddly lovable arse, just the way I want it!
And ohmygod it got a Pride and Prejudice comparison, AWESOME! And Skate, lmao. I was planning on going with Kirius but I like Skate a lot more. Keep on keepin' on the bleeding essays, I love those.