Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Ten - The Wedding Crashers

Saturday Morning after Friday Night RAW, McMahon-Helmsley Compound, Greenwich, CT:

"Where's Shawn?" LC asked Hunter as The Helmsleys came through their bedroom door.

"LC its four in the morning what are you doing up?" Hunter asked the little warrior princess standing in her combat PJs looking like she'd just watched Cameron and Carla kissing for the 88th time.

"I said where's Shawn?" she said again and Hunter frowned.

"Look it's late and you should be in bed right now and I'm a little tired myself so . . ."

"Where is Shawn!" LC yelled again and Stephanie marched up to her and pulled her out of their bedroom and into the guest bedroom where Charlotte, Brandon, Cassidy and Miss. Taylor were sleeping.

"This is where you belong," Stephanie told her and slammed the door waking Charlotte and everybody else up. LC marched right back out and jumped on Stephanie's back.

"I know what you did, you killed DX!" LC cried and Stephanie tried to shake her off but she was holding on too tight.

"LC what are you doing?" her older sister said coming over to the fighting females and rescuing her little sister from Stephanie's hands.

"She killed DX Char!" LC told Charlotte who frowned in confusion.

"What are you talking about sweetie nobody killed DX you were just having a nightmare, come back to bed and let Stephanie and Hunter have some privacy for once okay?" Charlotte said ushering her sister back into the guest room and closing the door. Brandon and Cassidy were already waiting for them to return wanting to know what had LC so riled up.

"LC why aren't you asleep?" Brandon asked the little soldier who picked up her WWE Diva Lita doll and started combing its hair.

"I had one of those things when you see something before it happens," LC said.

"A premonition?" Brandon asked.

"Whatever, anyway I dreamt that Stephanie killed DX, she told Hunter he couldn't hang out with Shawn anymore and when I woke up my cell phone beeped and I had a text message from Trish Stratus saying 'DX is dead'. I put two and two together and figured I had one of those promotion things, and I knew it really happened: Stephanie killed DX!"

Cassidy gasped, "Na-uh!" she cried.

"Ah-huh!" LC assured her.

"Hunter get back here!" Stephanie called after him but he closed the guest room door in her face, "That's it you wanna play games? I'm getting Aurora!"

"No you can't wake her up now?" Hunter said, "She's barely slept today, give her a rest will ya!"

"And when she's awake it's gonna get really cold in there!" Stephanie teased.

"Alright come in," Hunter said opening up the door allowing his wife into the room, "LC how did you know all that about me and Shawn breaking up?"

"Breaking up? Gees Hunter you make it sound like you guys are dating," LC said rolling her eyes, "And when I think of what we could have had it just breaks my heart," she added melodramatically but Stephanie wasn't amused.

"Listen you little brat, just tell us how you knew DX was dead," she demanded and Cassidy nearly cried.

"You mean it's true? You killed DX?" she asked Stephanie in disbelief.

"Yes it's true!" Stephanie said proudly and Charlotte, the Montenegros and Miss. Taylor gasped.

"She wants to destroy what's left of the Kliq so she can have Hunter's soul like you don't have enough of him already!" LC snapped, "You're a disgrace to the Helmsley name Stephanie McMahon and I'm gonna kick your ass, y'ah!" LC said kicking Stephanie in the shins with her barefoot then she hopped around in pain because she didn't have her big black boots on, "Okay let me try that again," she said running over to where her boots were strewn across the floor by her Triple H sleeping bag.

"Hunter doesn't need your help little girl he has me, now if you don't mind we have a very busy morning planning Lita and Edge's fake wedding angle, I suggest you all go back to sleep," Stephanie said and Cassidy and Brandon frowned.

"Fake wedding angle?" they said to each other in confusion.

"What fake wedding angle? Lita's done with the WWE why are you still sticking your nose in the woman's business?" Charlotte asked sitting on her little sister so she couldn't move.

"Is that an Indian Death Lock?" Brandon asked as LC applied the painful submission hold to Stephanie after bouncing out from under her sister.

"LC you're gonna break the woman's legs!" Charlotte said.

"Where did you learn that move? It's wicked!" Brandon said in awe.

"It's one of my old favorites," Hunter replied with a proud grin.

"It sure is, I've been watching WrestleMania 19 clips in the McMahon-Helmsley video library all night, I know all Hunter's best moves," LC boasted proudly as Hunter broke up the hold and handed his apprentice back to Charlotte so Stephanie didn't tear her blond hair out.

"Remember when I became Undisputed Champion? Man I would love to go watch that right now, who wants to join me?" Hunter said and everyone declined except LC and Cassidy who were already out of the room heading back down to the massive WWE video library.

"Hunter I want to go to bed!" Stephanie snapped already in her favorite XXL Triple H jersey that she liked to wear to bed.

"Well I don't!" Hunter snapped back, "Just because you've killed DX doesn't mean you can kill my need to watch myself beat Chris Jericho over and over again, now you'll excuse me I have a date with the DVD remote and two devoted DX fans, I'll see you in the morning,"

Hunter flew down the stairs behind LC and Cassidy while Stephanie shook her head in confusion.

"Wanna talk about it?" Miss. Taylor asked the green eyed beauty as she pushed her hair back in frustration.

"I don't understand why I'm suddenly the last person Hunter wants to be with," she sighed in confusion, "He tells me DX is reuniting while I'm carrying his first child, then he tells me he'd rather hang out with an eight year-old lunatic - ah!"

"Easy big sis," Brandon said as Charlotte went for Stephanie's hair.

"LC is the reason your Daddy's company is still in business, don't disrespect her especially around me," Charlotte warned her.

"Charlotte stop it's four in the morning she just got back from Florida, she's a little tired that's all, calm down," Brandon told his dear friend and Charlotte took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay I'm sorry, it wouldn't hurt for you to show a little gratitude to the people who make you so very, very rich," Charlotte said folding her arms insolently and Stephanie wondered why everyone thought being rich made you happy because she was ten times richer than most people and she had never been so miserable in all her life.

"Maybe Shawn's right, I'm too rich to be cool. Sorry Charlotte, but I am who I am and I thought that was good enough. I guess I was wrong. Goodnight," Stephanie said sadly and turned towards her bedroom. Miss. Taylor felt bad and Brandon noticed the way the Sunday school teacher's eyes widened in sympathy and decided to turn her frown upside down.

"Why don't you stay in here with us, come on it's not like any of us have to go to work tomorrow?" Brandon said to Stephanie, who laughed at him.

"Speak for yourself, you'll see how things work in the McMahon family soon. Rest is a luxury we cannot afford," Stephanie said and collapsed in exhaustion on the plush carpet outside their guest bedroom, she was emotionally, physically and spiritually drained.

"We better take her to her room, where is it?" Charlotte asked Brandon who shrugged as he picked the billionaire princess up from off the floor.

"Its right here," said a familiar voice and Miss. Taylor turned to see Chris Jericho standing at the far end of the passage. Brandon and Charlotte looked down at the sleeping beauty in Brandon's arms, she was already in a deep sleep and probably didn't know that he was here, they sure as Hell didn't know he was staying over at the McMahons as well.

"Does it seem weird to you that he's here?" Brandon asked his old friend from Bakersfield, CA.

"The man has a third eye in his forehead, don't get him mad!" she said discreetly.

"We were gonna put her to bed, she just got back from Florida and she's exhausted," Miss. Taylor told Jericho as the three of them walked towards the Ayatollah of Rock N' Rolla who was standing shirtless in Stephanie's doorway wearing just his army shorts and a pair of open toe sandals.

"I bet she had won Hell of a trip," he said with a smirk knowing she had gotten the revelation about Hunter, now Jericho was going to give her a chance to get back at him for it, "I'll take it from here guys, goodnight," he said and took Stephanie from Brandon's arms like she was a lost kitten being returned to him by some kind-hearted neighbors. Charlotte gasped and covered her mouth as Jericho admired the beatific features of the billionaire princess like an artist would his painting, "Welcome home baby, you're in good hands now," he said and was about to kiss her when Charlotte put Stephanie's hand right in his face and showed her the wedding band around her finger.

"You see that? That means she's not available, I may be a guest in this house but I will not stand here and watch you disrespect a man's wife," Charlotte said, "What you do you think you're doing?"

Jericho removed Stephanie's wedding band and gave it to Charlotte closing her hand around it before stepping back into Stephanie's room with the young mother in his arms, "I'm making up for lost time," he said and closed the door in leaving Charlotte, Brandon and Miss. Taylor with their mouths on the floor.

"What the Hell is going on here?" Miss. Taylor asked pulling her hair loose from the band and shaking it out so it flared wildly about her head, "This McMahon-Helmsley Y2J stuff is messing me up!" she cried in frustration and Brandon smiled and the fair-haired beauty.

"I like you're hair when it's loose Miss. Taylor," he said with a sweetness to his voice and Annabel smiled at him.

"Call me Annabel," she said with a smile and Charlotte smiled to herself; at least one thing was going in the right direction, it looked like Brandon Montenegro of Clear Water, Florida had finally found the right woman, a Sunday school teacher from Texas, who woulda thunk it? she thought and left the two lovebirds alone to call her own lovebird. She needed to figure out how to approach this situation with someone who was as happily married as she was: her loving husband Dan who was in New York City getting his sleep on.

Downstairs in the McMahon-Helmsley video library, Hunter, LC and Cassidy watched some of Hunter's best matches including the match he had against Chris Jericho for the Undisputed Championship. Hunter rewound it several times and ran his own commentary, under any other circumstances LC would have loved it but not today, not when Stephanie McMahon was on the verge of destroying the only thing that kept Hunter in the wrestling business and not in Hollywood like The Rock - Degeneration X.

"What's the matter LC, don't you want to see Stephanie get Pedigreed again? Look I just slowed it down so you can see her face smacking the canvas," Hunter said pushing the slow-motion button on the DVD remote.

"Sweet," LC said and Cassidy went up to the huge LCD screen and started drawing over Stephanie's face with LC's approval, "Add more flies because her bodies gonna rot in Hell after I get through with her," LC snarled and Hunter looked down at LC and pinched her nose, "Hey give that back?"

"Give what back?" Hunter said.

"You got my nose man!" LC said.

"Oh sorry here you go," Hunter said and Hunter gave her back her nose, "What?"

"How many noses you got in there cos this one ain't mine," LC said looking at the invisible nose in her hand.

"Oh it must be Shawn's, idiot's probably looking for it right now, I've had it since we left his house on Monday," Hunter explained.

"Is it still under water?" Cassidy asked Hunter.

"Don't know, probably," Hunter replied.

"Why don't we go check it out? See if any old WWE Superstars are still floating around all dead and stuff," Cassidy asked.

"No they all survived," Hunter said.

"Man I was so sure Hogan wouldn't make it, I mean Shawn's house was like in 20ft of water," Cassidy said.

"Yeah Aurora was really mad when they told me and Shawn to SUCK IT!" Hunter said.

"Imagine how mad she's gonna be when she finds out DX is dead?" LC said.

"She'd be even madder if Stephanie and I got divorced," Hunter argued.

"Why would you get divorced? I don't know why would Stephanie wanna lose out on the possibility of her next child having super powers, like shooting fire at people through their eyes or making people explode just by thinking it!" LC said getting excited.

"She's an X Men freak," Cassidy explained noticing Hunter's perplexed expression.

"That still doesn't explain how you talk to me, you're so down man, that's exactly how I used to talk when I was a kid," Hunter said amazed and put down the remote and pulled LC onto his lap, "It's almost like we're related,"

"I know, but FYI putting an eight year-old girl on your lap with no adults around - not cool," LC said.

"My bad," Hunter said putting LC back onto the couch and he did a quick check to make sure Paparazzi Productions weren't snooping around somewhere.

"Don't get me wrong I'm fighting the urges back myself - " LC said and Hunter and Cassidy laughed at her.

"You're so funny, I haven't laughed like this since the last time Shawn and I dressed up like Vince and Shane McMahon, that was a lot of fun, especially afterwards when all the shit came down from the ceiling," Hunter said thinking back and LC and Cassidy reflected back with him.

"Yeah that was a good one," they said at the same time, "What a shame it had to come to an end," Cassidy said tearing up.

"I know but Stephanie thinks I don't love her, plus Aurora would have sent a typhoon bigger than that Tsunami in Asia and wiped Florida off the map, that girl does not want us fighting, I'm sorry it had to go down like that but family comes first and as much as I love him, Shawn is not family," Hunter said and a lump sat in his throat after he said that, "I better go to bed you guys, I'll be back down for breakfast, see you later," he said getting up hoping they didn't see the tears in his eyes.

"You got a missed call from Shawn," LC said looking down at the cell-phone on top of the WM18 DVD case, "It's like the 11th one,"

"I'm not talking to him LC, I told you we're through - DX is done!" Hunter insisted.

"If you don't pick up this phone I'm going to take of my clothes, set the video recorder to extreme close up and start jumping up and down naked as the day I was born!" LC threatened Hunter.

"We're you by any chance made by a wizard named Saron in a pit somewhere in Middle Earth you lil' Ork?" Hunter replied and LC smiled as Hunter picked up the phone and returned the call, "What am I gonna say . . . Shawn?"

Trish and Carlito's house, Boca Vista, FL, just before dawn:

"Have you seen my nose? I looked all over the house and I can't find it," HBK said on his cell-phone and Hunter rolled his eyes.

"I told you he'd be looking for it," Hunter said to LC who told him to keep talking, "Yeah so what's going on are you gonna go home?"

Shawn looked at the cell-phone like it had cyanide on it, "What home? My wife is screwing Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and probably Jeff Jarrett all at the same time, you think she's gonna be interested in flying back to San Antonio to make me and the kids breakfast?"

"She's what? Who told you that?" Hunter said in disbelief.

"Christie and Gail," Shawn replied and Hunter frowned.

"Who's Christie and Gail?" he asked confused.

"Christie Hemme and Gail Kim, you know they used to work for us one time," Shawn said rolling his eyes.

"And where do they work now?" Hunter asked cynically and Shawn lifted his cell-phone so the legions of guests Trish and Carlito had invited could answer the man's question.

"Um guys, Hunter's on the phone and he wants to know what company ya'll work for," he said to the rowdy bunch of wrestlers.

"TNA! TNA! TNA! TNA!" they answered in one voice.

"Does that answer your question?" HBK said as Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal and Chris Sabin spray painted his shirt with X's in all different color spray paint.

"You're still in Orlando?" Hunter said in disbelief, "Shawn your house is in 20ft of water, you have to go home and survey the damages you could be homeless man!"

"So we're not gonna talk about what happened last night?" Shawn said as Lita was running around trying to figure out where Trish and Carlito had hidden her wig.

"Okay nobody move until I've got my wig back on - AJ give me that!" she said to AJ Styles who was tying the wig to the clothesline outside and having a makeshift Ultimate X match, instead of Ultimate X it was called an Ultimate Hair match.

"Last one up there is an ugly betty!" Christopher Daniels said jumping up the extended pole with AJ on him trying to pull him down. Lita got hot and jumped over both of them, retrieved her wig and pushed them both into the pool making a huge splash and getting HBK's re-branded shirt soaking wet.

"Ooops, gotta go Hunter, Lita just pulled a Britney," Shawn said and Hunter pulled his hair back in frustration.

"She pulled Britney? And I'm here watching re-runs of WM18 with LC and Cassidy? Dammit!" Hunter yelled and Shawn rolled his eyes.

"No-no-no, she didn't pull Britney, she pulled a Britney, you know she made a mistake," Shawn explained.

"And what mistake was that?" Hunter asked curiously.

"She got me all wet and now I have to take my shirt off," HBK answered and unbuttoned his wet dress shirt and balled it up in his hands, "Scream if you want this!" he yelled and all the TNA wrestlers reached for the black shirt like it was an X Division belt or something and Shawn held his stomach with laughter.

"Shawn why are you hanging out with the TNA locker room?" Hunter said "They nearly ruined your career, are you trying to get fired?" Hunter asked his best friend impatiently and there was no answer, "Just what's going on over there? Where's Randy?"

"Hunter did you hear a single thing I said over the last few minutes? My wife is being double-teamed by my so-called best friends, I can't leave Florida without her she's gonna get hurt!" Shawn insisted.

"She must be hurting real good," Hemme said with a naughty smile and Shawn pushed her away playfully.

"Shut up Christie," he said.

"Hanging out with Playboy cover girls huh Shawn? Way-to-get back in your wife's good graces," Hunter said sarcastically.

"I called you ten times Hunter and you still don't care. So listen up partner because I'm only gonna say this once, even though I've already said it like a million times on those voice messages I left but whatever. I am not leaving Florida without Rebecca; I will take her sexually over-qualified ass back to San Antonio and arrange a marriage counseling session at Cornerstone Church with Pastor Hagee. I will get her back in the Lord's good graces!"

"Or you can do it right here in Florida, Paula White has a ministry here with her husband Randy, I'll go with you!" Lita said enthusiastically.

"Okay change of plans, I'm taking that bitch I call a wife to Church right here in Orlando, Florida!" Shawn said defiantly.

"YEAH!" The TNA fans roared in celebration of their hometown.

"And what if she doesn't want to go to church with you, what are you gonna do then?" Hunter asked and there was a moment of silence.

"I'll quit the WWE and I'm gonna go to TNA and keep an eye on her," Shawn said and Hunter dropped his cell-phone, "Hunter? Hunter?" Shawn called as his best friend ran up the stairs to his bedroom and saw the last thing he needed to see after that conversation.

"Jericho," he said looking down at the lion-haired rock star as he lay with his arms wrapped over Stephanie's sleeping body like a man would his woman, "You've got ten seconds to explain what you're doing in my bedroom or I'm gonna tear you apart,"

"I've got a proposition for you junior," Jericho said with an air of confidence that Hunter hadn't seen before, "Fight for DX, keep Shawn to yourself and let me have Stephanie,"

Hunter laughed, "Forget about the chances of me agreeing to that being nil, my daughter would kill you if she was awake right now. She has no patience for marital problems, all she cares about is her parents staying together. Sorry about that, family comes first. Now get outta here before I send you to Hell faster than you expected to get there!"

Jericho smiled and pulled Stephanie's hair away from her face and Hunter couldn't believe what he was seeing. Aurora was sleeping soundly in her arms and Jericho was unharmed, in fact, he'd never felt better. "Oh my God, you look just like a family," he said losing his breath noticing the smile on Stephanie's face.

"That's right Hunter, we are a family. You see Aurora only acts up when both her parents are unhappy, looks like Stephanie's happy to me, what does she look like to you?" Jericho asked the Cerebral Assassin who felt like he was gonna be sick.

Jericho come over to him and looked him straight in the eye. Hunter flinched because the eye he was looking at was in Jericho's forehead.

"When is that thing gonna go away?" Hunter said revolted by the sky blue iris looking back at him.

"When this thing between us is finally over," Jericho replied, "But it's never gonna be over if you don't get Shawn Michaels to leave his wife,"

"What? I can't do that Jericho, he will never give up on Rebecca, he's completely in love with her!" Hunter insisted.

"And wouldn't you rather be in her shoes right now junior? Having Scott, Kevin, Sean and your beloved HBK all to yourself? At the same time no less, man that woman's nasty - what was Shawn thinking? Yuck!" Jericho said and Hunter stared at him in amazement.

"You know about that?" he said.

"Hunter look into my eye, I can see everything where you are concerned. I saw you hide your face in shame when The Truth came out about your feelings for Shawn. Those feelings are nothing to be ashamed of Hunter, this is your chance to be with Shawn forever - at least until you die then you'll be with me and he'll be with Lita, but God will work all that out, no need to worry about that right now. All that matters is that you can have what you've wanted for the past ten years,"

"Shawn's mad at me, it's a self-destructive fantasy and I'm not gonna be a part of it," Hunter said.

"You have no choice, you're out of options. Rebecca's going down on more men then a licensed prostitute and Shawn will not quit her unless you give him a very good reason to. He just doesn't know it yet," Chris told him and Hunter wondered if this could be a dream or a nightmare of Khali vs. Hogan proportions.