AN: Okay. I promised I would update as soon as I had 8 reviews even if it I had to tonight. I got more than 10 reviews so I worked as hard as I could for you guys. This is all I did except have a driving lesson from my sister. Haha, it's funny to say that because I'm thirteen. Yeah, I know. It's illegal. HAHA. I need 10 reviews to update but I can't update till at least Tuesday. I know, I hate it. I'm going camping tomorrow until Monday night but I'm still trying to write as fast as I can. 10 reviews though will make it go faster. A lot fast!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or anything in here. Sadly…
I ran out of there not looking where I was going and ran straight into another person. I fell back along with Nate.
"Oh, sorry, Princess" Nate said immediately.
"God don't you got a boyfriend!" Violet said as she walked by. Nate glared at her and started to say something but she walked off.
"Are you going to let her talk to you like that!" Nate demanded.
"Yes" I said it like it should be obvious. I picked up my books.
"The girl I knew in Phoenix would have never let that slide" Nate made a rude remark.
I couldn't take it anymore. It was his fault I was dealing with all this harassment today. Nate's fault that I missed my Spanish test on Friday. Nate's fault I had to lie to Edward for the past year and a half. Nate's fault my dad doesn't even know everything about me. Nate's fault everyone was making fun of me and calling me a slut. His fault that I had to go to the principal's office tomorrow morning. Everything was Nate's fault.
"You know what Nate, SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP! I don't want you to ever talk to me again! All you do is cause me trouble! You are an stupid jackass!" I screeched not caring who heard me.
"Oh, yeah! Well you're a pain in my ass, Isabel. All you do is whine and complain for stupid reasons!" Nate yelled back
"Yeah, well maybe I wouldn't have any reason to whine and complain at all if you weren't in my life!" I swear half the hallway heard that. I pushed at his chest sending him 2 feet back.
"I hate you!" I said acidly
"Yeah, well then that makes two of us," He said just as cold. I pivoted and walked away. Alice was at the other end of the hallway.
"What was that all about?" She asked as soon as I reached her.
"Nothing" I gave her a look that I hope read drop it. Alice seemed to. She acted like there was nothing unusual about us sitting as far away from everyone else as possible.
"Sorry" I mumbled
"Why?" Alice raised one eyebrow
"Because you can't sit with the normal people at lunch and now you're getting stares like me." I explained. We sat through one moment of silence then Alice broke it with her silvery laughter.
"Oh, Bella! You're so cute!" she giggled. "I didn't sit with normal people before you came here anyway and people already stare at me." Alice pointed out.
"I guess," I mumbled going back through my food, not really eating anything.
"You should eat something. Edward will have my head if he finds out I let you eat nothing." Alice pointed out. I shoved an apple in my mouth. "Don't choke, Bells" Alice laughed, and I spit the apple out when I found it impossible to chew a whole apple at once. Alice got a kick out of my many tries though. "You know, Bella, you're not the only one who is eating away from everyone today." Alice pointed behind me there was Nate eating at the other side of the cafeteria alone.
I looked at him until he turned around. You know that feeling like someone is watching you. It's really creepy if you are alone in the dark. Anyway I gave that feeling to Nate so he turned around. Somehow he spotted me all the way over at the other side of this big room. We made eye contact for a second then I motioned for him to come on over.
Nate applied. "Hey" He said
"Hey" I said back, not forgetting the fight we had ten minutes ago.
"Hey!" Alice's cherry voice made both of us laugh.
"I'm sorry" Nate looked me in the eye and said.
I sighed "Me too." I gestured towards the seat next to me. Nate sat down.
"Are you sure this is a good idea. We already seem to be the school gossip from a 20 second confrontation 3 days ago." Nate teased. I smiled but looked over my shoulder. Sure enough there were people staring. I looked away.
"Let them think whatever they want. I highly doubt they'll come across the truth." I replied. It was easy to talk about our lives and unusual problems without worrying that someone was going to hear what we say because we sat so far away from everyone else.
"Yeah, I sure hope not. Bella may get suspended if they do." Alice added, referring to Spanish.
"What?" Nate looked confused.
"Hasn't anyone told you?" I asked Nate
"No. Incase you haven't noticed, Isabel, I'm kind of out of the loop." Nate said sarcastically
"Hey, you're not alone" I pointed out.
"So what happened?" Nate asked Alice. For the remainder of lunch Alice filled Nate in on what happened in Spanish.
At the end Nate laughed. "Sounds like, Princess." Alice chuckled at Nate's comment. "Well except before you wouldn't used to let anyone hold you back. Trust me, I tried once and got bruises from all her kicking." He put a arm around my shoulder jokingly and I shoved him playfully.
"You're just a wimp," I taunted
"Or maybe you're just a freak" I rolled my eyes. Alice seemed to enjoy our little bickering. The last two minutes of lunch Nate pointed to my tray.
"Eat," He commanded. Alice giggled.
"Shut up" I mumbled to her. I opened my water bottle and chugged it down in 3 seconds. Alice looked impressed. Nate rolled his eyes.
"Great, now you're gonna have to pee" Nate laughed. I glared at him playfully. The bell rang. Alice and me walked down the hall with Nate.
"What class do you have now?" Alice asked Nate
"Uh, Spanish" Nate said looking at his list with all the classes names they give to new students. "What bout you?" He asked
"English" Alice said, bored
"Biology" I added. I then remembered I had to make up the test. We went our separate ways. I walked into biology. Great, another reason why my life sucks.
Mr. Banner spotted me. "Oh, Bella. I hope you're feeling better. I heard you got sick on Friday." A few girls, whose names are unimportant, snickered.
"I feel better now." I mumbled, embarrassed. He nodded.
"Well, here you go." Mr. Banner handed me a test. "You can go to the library to work on it and just come back when you're finished."
"Thanks!" I said a little too enthusiastic. He smiled unsurprised. I realized that teachers aren't completely out of the gossip circle and that he probably heard about what was going on in my school life. I became slightly uncomfortable. I walked down the hall to the library. I handed my note to the librarian, Ms. Shawns. It accrued to me that Ms. Shawns probably knew the truth. That was still a little bit better than Mr. Banner. Mr. Banner was old. Ms. Shawns was about 28 with light brown hair and a very petite body. She looked like she could probably pass for a high school senior.
I sat down at the table she assigned me. This may be the best class all day. I didn't have to talk to too many people, and no one was staring or gossiping with me around. Of course I knew they were gossiping behind my back but still. Not having to see it made it better. To me at least.
There were four people in the library besides Ms. Shawns and me. Kelci, Mac, Austin and Lee. Kelci smiled and waved at me. I always liked her, or Charlie did at least. She was one of Charlie's friend and co-worker Mark's daughter and she was a freshman. Her and me had met a few times before, from what I could tell she was a nice girl who didn't like to engage in too much gossip. She didn't like Jessica very much. Edward said her thoughts were very pure and kind. Angela and her were the only two like that, which we knew. She had blonde hair and pretty tan skin from spending summers in California. She was very pretty to say the least.
Nobody else was staring at me so I got to work on the test. I looked at the clock about 25 minutes later. I was done and I had 35 minutes left. I decided to wait and not go back to the classroom. I might be a coward but I just didn't want to deal with everyone else.
"Hey, Bella" whispered a silvery voice. Alice.
"Alice. What are you doing here?" I asked
"I saw you in here all alone for the rest of class and told Ms. Smitt that I need a book and she let me go. I'm going to keep you company." Alice explained
"Thanks" I smiled as she sat down across from me. Alice smiled, like she was remembering a good joke. "What is it?" I asked, smiling back
"I was just thinking about you and Nate at lunch." Alice smirked. "You two were funny"
"What do you think of Nate?" I asked. Alice's opinion mattered to me almost as much as Edward's.
"I think he seems really nice" Alice smiled. "I kind of got a read on his future." Alice added, now her smile went from thoughtful to happy. She was proud of herself for doing her ability right? I almost laughed out loud.
"You saw Nate's future?" I asked. Why couldn't she before?
"Kind of. I only saw glimpses like when he decided he would come sit with us or when he decided to go to class but there was some blurring in between." She explained. "Almost as if he couldn't make up his mind" Alice mumbled more to herself than to me.
"Wow" Was all I said. After that we talked about unimportant things like shopping trips she wanted me to go on and how proud she was of me last Friday for wearing the outfit she picked out. I rolled my eyes, as she speculated the outfit I had on now. I hadn't looked this morning to know what I was dressed like. Alice looked like she disapproved but I didn't care enough to ask. It was nice to have these light conversations, about clothes and other things when my life was becoming so hectic right now.
When the bell rang, we gathered our stuff and went to our last class. As I walked in the door, I was reminded for the seventh time why I hate my life. Every single person turned as I walked into class and looked at me. Some were glaring, others were merely looking. I tried to ignore them but I was hard. One stuck out to me though. Nate. There were three empty seats next to him. I hesitated, I wanted to go sit with him but everyone was watching. What would they think if they saw me with Nate? Or would they think at all? They may just jump to conclusions.
Why did I care so much about what people thought of me? I shouldn't. Before I could even think about going to sit next to Nate, Alice had already danced her way over there and was dragging me along.
"Everyone's staring," I said as soon as we reached Nate,
"Ignore them" Nate commanded. "They don't matter" He added. I rolled my eyes. Such a Nate thing to say until it's him who's being called names then he's beating up the first person that spoke.
For the rest of History we all focused. Luckily there was no time for socialization. But it didn't change the fact that I heard people behind me, people I didn't know very well, people I had known since my first day here and they all were gossiping about me. Fun….
I gave Alice a ride to her house. When she invited me in I refused. I didn't want to have to talk to any more people. Except for one. One person I wanted more than anything at this very moment. Edward. He would be back tonight, hopefully soon. I thought about that, hoping that would brighten my mood. It did, magically. But not even that fact could wash away my bad day completely.
I walked into my house and went straight to my room. I checked my e-mail. I hadn't gotten any emails from Renee in weeks. Normally she's right on top of it. When my old computer finally cooperated, I checked. There was one new one. I opened it.
Dear Bella,
Sorry, I haven't written back but Phil needed me to be a good wife for a while, the coach was checking families to make sure the team had good ones. Haha. Well now I have to go to the team dinner. I love you.
Mom.
I rolled my eyes. I know my mom didn't mean it to be offensive but a few words stuck out to me. Phil needed me to be a good wife. Well what if Bella needed you to be a good mother? I didn't dwell on it too long. I looked at the time. It was 5:18. Charlie told me he was going to be home by six tonight. I should go downstairs to make dinner but I was tired from the hectic day at school.
I laid down on my bed, reliving the day. I really hoped I had only been the school gossip and not the town. The last thing I needed was to have Charlie asking me questions too. He didn't need to know about Nate. And if he ever did find out maybe it would be okay. It's not like we ever talked about my love life. He never knew if I ever had a boyfriend. But I guess it was kind of customary to tell your dad if he ever became a grandparent.
I thought back to my grandparents. They pretty much helped raise me until they died when I was thirteen. Heaven knows what would have happened if Renee raised me completely on her own. She can't even raise herself.
It occurred to me then, what would I have been like if I had raised Novalee. Obviously, I wouldn't have been on my own. Nate wouldn't of left me to raise a baby by myself. I don't think he would, at least. I never thought Edward would have left me on my own. I immediately pushed the thought away, as soon as I thought of it. Edward thought he was doing the right thing. But back to the thought of Novalee. Still to this day, it was hard to picture myself as a mother. But what if I had been a mother longer than a month. What would she be like today? Would she be a mean kid? No, I knew immediately. She wouldn't of. Novalee's personality was obvious even after a month. She would have been happy and bubbly and optimistic. She would maybe even be preppy.
Kind of like Alice. I smiled; I knew how much Alice would have liked her. Then something else occurred to me, would I know Alice. Would I know Esme? Or Carlisle? Would I know any of the Cullens'? The last thought was the hardest to picture. Would I know Edward if Novalee had lived? I thought for a moment. I left Phoenix because I couldn't face my grief anymore.
Okay, I know that makes me seem like a selfish person but still. I was young. Too young to have a baby, but then for me to lose it? I doubt anyone was old enough for that. I would have probably lived in Phoenix, in the sun. I would have continued to date Nate. I know all my friends would have helped out.
Almost all of them. Taylor, Starr whatever you chose to call her, she couldn't of helped raise Novalee. I blocked my mind from think that. I didn't want to break down again.
I knew in the end I would have found Edward. Under different circumstances, maybe but still. We would have found each other. No matter what, fate would have brought us together. I felt sappy thinking this. One of the many reasons I was glad that Edward couldn't read my mind.
I went back to my original thought. Was it fair to keep something like this from Charlie? Didn't he deserve to know he had a grandchild? I knew the answer. Yes, he did. He didn't deserve my constant lying, but come on! Did I deserve this? I knew I was being a brat but I couldn't stop myself. Why did God do this to me? Was it my punishment for having sex before marriage?
Why would he punish Novalee though? I knew the answer to that too. He wouldn't. There is no such thing as an illegitimate child. Just illegitimate parents. (AN: Sorry one of my pastors said that once. LOL) God has a plan, even if I don't know what it is yet.
I thought back to years ago, when I went to church every Sunday with my grandma. Then when she died when I was 13, I was already friends with Nate around that time. I went with him and his mom and siblings until I was seventeen and moved. Renee never went to church because she got bored and she could never hold still when she was bored. Renee was always more childish than me. I knew I shouldn't have lied when Carlisle and me talked about religion on my 18th birthday, but I couldn't tell him all of a sudden that I had gone to church for most of my life until my baby died so I decided to move to Forks to live with my very unreligious father.
I remember bring Novalee to church and how cute she looked. I felt a tear slip out. I brushed it away quickly, not letting anymore slip out. I didn't need a crying fest like yesterday. I still felt guilty for making Edward suffer through that with me. Even if he'll never make me feel guilty. I remembered my reasons for not going to church though. The closets church was one in Port Angleas, except the small crappy one in the hospital that could hold no more than 100 people. (AN: Have you ever heard of a church in the hospital? I have, but I don't know if I'm the only one.) It was one that Jessica, Kelci, Mike, Angela and Lauren went to and one where Angela's dad sometimes guest preaches.
I thought about today. What if Charlie had already heard what people at school were saying? What if he had met Nate's family? That would be possible considering he's a public figure in this town. He had, at least, heard that the Carters were moving to town. I sighed, realizing that I had to tell Charlie the truth. It was better to come from me now than from someone else later. I just needed to figure out the right moment. As if there were one.
Before I could think of anything I was broken out of my trace by the window opening. Edward jumped in. I read the clock quickly. It read 5:55. Crap, Charlie was going to be home soon. But before I could really care, I jumped in Edward's arms, latching my arms around his neck and my legs around my waist.
"Edward!" I squealed.
"Hey there, love" He chuckled.
"You're early." I said, not letting him put me down by squeezing myself closer.
"Yes, I am. I would of been earlier but I stopped by my house to change." Edward explained
"Oh, well I was just going to make dinner." I told him
He nodded, having something else on his mind completely.
"How was school today?" Edward asked, quietly
"Fine" I mumbled quickly. It was no use lying to him. He probably already knew from Alice's mind. "Did Alice tell you?" I asked quieter
"Yes. I saw it in her mind." He replied. "I am so sorry, Angel" Edward told me.
"It's not your fault." I said, still attached to his waist
"Still, those people are just vile excuses for humans." Edward tightened around me, bringing me so I was hugging his neck. I let him comfort me until I heard the front door shut, Edward jumped. I guess he wasn't paying close enough attention, too preoccupied with me. I jumped down from his torso.
"Dad!" I called
"I'm home, Bells." Charlie called back. "What's for dinner?" I realized it's now or never. If I didn't tell Charlie soon I will never get the courage.
"Edward" I whispered, not because I thought Charlie would hear me but because I couldn't find my voice. "I have to tell him. About Phoenix" I explained
"Are you sure, Bella?" Edward whispered back, his brows drawing together
I nodded. "It's now or never," I whispered but I don't know if I was talking to Edward or me.
AN: Okay. I need 10 reviews to update with the next chapter. I will work on it first thing I can. Please tell me what you think. And I have pictures on my profile of pretty much everyone I mentioned the last few chapters. Okay, now remember 10 reviews!
