A/N: My readers are more like mind readers I'm finding! I've gotten so many questions about why Kagome hasn't addressed the fact that Sesshomaru was an 'A' class asshole to her a few chapters back, and hopefully this chapter will give you and idea as to what Kagome feels about that.

As for Sesshomaru's beast, yes, its like a separate entinty within him that he must contain when in humanoid form. Some don't think it should be that way, but I do. For a demon like Sesshomaru, something only driven by instinct and not wit is reckless to him, and therefore he is at odds with it while other demons would embrace it.

Chapter 11: To Be of Use

At first Kagome slept soundly, her mind full of an optimistic future traveling with Sesshomaru and his group. A happy ending that maybe she hadn't considered before. But that all changed when she began to dream.

Of course, it would be the same dream she always had.

Kagome could tell when she found herself alone by the Goshinboku. She knew what would come next, but the dream played itself out the same; her starting with a grin spread across her face. She was happy.

I won't be for long.

Inuyasha walks from behind the tree. "What are you doing here Ka-go-me?" His sneer breaks her heart for the hundredth time.

Her smile fades. "Inuyasha? What's your problem? I always-"

Inuyasha scoffs. "Keh! You're no longer needed, wench. Go back into that stupid well and don't come back. You're fucking useless anyway."

The real Kagome tries to shut her eyes, and cover her ears, but the picture of her own anguish-stricken face is burned into her eyelids. No! Stop it! I'm useful! I am!

The dream Kagome gasps as Kikyou emerges from the dark forest behind her. Her usual expression of indifference replaced with a sickening smile or triumph. "Poor little Kagome! Did you honestly believe you were special? You're just my reincarnation; you're only purpose was to hold my spot until I returned. Run along now, you're an eyesore."

Kagome screamed inside her mind. No! Leave me alone! You're lying! It's a lie! But when each of her good friends came before her, they mocked and rejected her, they called her worthless, and her soul shattered again and again.

Just like before, her world crumbled beneath her. I'm useful! I know I am! I-!

Suddenly, a new figure appeared before her. Kagome turned to address the tall dark shadow that had never been in her dream before. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she spoke softly. "Who…who are you?" The figured only chuckled darkly.

N-Naraku?

Just then, the echoes of words once spoken boomed loudly in her head, like a pulse.

…… your actions are not wanted…..not needed

You were just meddling…

Stay out of the way…

Kagome grabbed her ears. "Please! Just stop!"

Burden of your presence

Burden.

You're a burden.

Kagome whimpered in defeat. "No more…please…"

Kagome's eyes flew open with a gasp when she felt a familiar aura. Looking up at the shadowed figure, she watched as it stepped out into the light to reveal pearl white silk and long silver tresses.

…Lord Sesshomaru.

His eyes bleeding red and his claws glowing poison, he looked a vision of death and beauty. His voice sealed her fate. "Only a burden." His clawed hand reared back, intending to swipe a fatal blow, and Kagome cringed; covering her face with her hands in vain. "No!"

Just then, the sneering faces of her loved ones disappeared in a puff of smoke, and all Kagome saw was blackness. It was not long however, before two strong arms wrapped around her from behind.

Kagome yelped in surprise and struggled to break free from the offender's tight hold. "Let me go! Let me GO!" Her previous tears still fell, but accompanying them was her fiery temper.

Just as she was about to rupture his eardrums, a deep, hissing voice whispered next to her ear. It definitely wasn't human.

Kagome sucked in a lungful of air. That aura! That horrible, disgusting aura!

"Now now my precious miko, we can't have you harmed before you come to me now can ywe?" Kagome froze, a cold sweat began dripping down her neck. Just what was going on here?

"What do you want? Who are you?" Kagome whispered.

The demon behind her chuckled, and Kagome shivered when she felt a tongue caress the skin on her neck. "Do not fret my dear Shikon Miko, for you will be more than useful when I'm done with you. You will be mine!"

Kagome squirmed in his hold and tried her best to sound brave in spite of the fact that she was shaking uncontrollably with fear. "Tough luck pal, because I'll never belong to anyone!" The figure hissed. "I see you will be difficult to tame my pet. It is no matter; you will come to me of your own free will. I will make sure of that." And with that he brushed the hair away from the nape of her neck.

Kagome stilled when she felt the brush of fangs…and then… excruciating pain.

Kagome screamed until her mouth went raw and wept in agony long after the shadow released her. His taunting laughter echoed through her all the way to her bones.

Suddenly, soft voices pierced the darkness, steadily becoming louder.

"Miss Kagome what's wrong! Miss Kagome!"

"Kagome, please wake up! It's just a night terror!"

"Awaken you troublesome woman! My lord demands it!"

Kagome stirred. Rin?... Shippo? Jaken? But where's Sess-

"Miko."

Kagome sat straight up in her sleeping bag, gasping for air with ghosts of tears streaming down her far. Her fingernails were caked with blood and dirt from raking into the ground, and her eyes were red and swollen. But most importantly, her neck felt like it was on fire.

Opening her eyes she met golden ones. Sesshomaru!

On instinct Kagome backed up frantically as the image of glowing claws and blood-red eyes flashed across her memory. Her eyes widened and her voice was frantic. "NO! Stop! Please! Don't hurt me! Don't leave me alone! I promise! I promise I'll be useful!! I won't be a burden anymore! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!" She held her shaking hands in front of her face and curled up into a ball on the ground.

Everyone around her quieted and just watched in shock. Rin began to cry, and Shippo had already started sniffling. Even Jaken looked unnerved by Kagome's behavior. Ah Un came over to the miko and wrapped his body protectively around her. The dragon never went against his master, but this once he gave the demon lord a piecing look. A look that said get away from her now.

Sesshomaru never took his eyes off of the miko, and he sure didn't like being told what to do by a lowly beast, but he retreated from her nonetheless. Ah Un carried her closer to the fire and began licking her face for a response, blowing air out of it's nostrils as it sniffed her for any illness.

Sesshomaru looked down when he felt a small tug on his hakama. "Yes Rin?"

Rin twirled her fingers nervously. "Lord Sesshomaru? What's wrong with Miss Kagome? Why is she scared and sad?"

Sesshomaru sighed. He had been pondering the same thing, and the daiyoukai didn't like what his logic unearthed regarding the matter. I did nothing wrong. I said what was necessary.. He looked down at the teary-eyed kit and his ward. "This Sesshomaru does not know what is wrong with the miko. You will have to ask her when she wakes up."

Just then Kagome's raspy voice floated to his ears over the much louder crackle of the fire. "W-What happened? Why…" She was interrupted when Rin and Shippo tackled her, sniffling and smiling.

Sesshomaru raised a brow at her confused and dazed expression. She does not remember? Hn. Interesting.. Before Kagome could begin asking questions, he decided to intervene. "Miko, you wish to bathe now, do you not? This Sesshomaru recalls you being very particular about cleanliness." His eyes never left hers, silencing anything she was about to ask.

Slowly, the miko got up from her spot on the ground, patting Ah Un on the head as it helped her up. "O-Okay? Right. I guess I'll go clean up then." Just as the kit and his ward were about to follow, he called them back. "Rin, you and the kit are not to accompany her. The miko wishes to be alone right now."

The miko stopped in her robotic motions of packing her supplies and looked back at him, then to his ward and the kit. "Um..yea. Sorry you two. I just want some time to myself right now okay?" She plastered on a shaky smile before standing up. He had already guessed what she was going to ask. He pointed his clawed finger to her right.

"There is a spring in that direction. Do not stray from the path or you will lose your way."

The miko nodded and slowly walked off in the direction he had just pointed in, but not without looking warily back at him. When she was no longer in sight, Sesshomaru gave a sigh under his breath. His beast was still whining. She fears us.

Sesshomaru grunted. Yes, it appears that way.

But she is pack!

Only temporarily. It is not my fault if she feels the need to meddle in my business.

Fool. You hurt female!

Sesshomaru growled lowly. Do not forget it was you who almost killed her before! It was not this Sesshomaru who acted foolishly. Plus, from the looks of things, she barely remembers.

She will remember. Her soul is broken. Help Kagome.

When it is not this Sesshomaru's responsibility? I will do no such thing.

When his beast made no response it only angered him further. He knew what his beast had said was the truth; it usually spoke of things he would never admit to himself, like a conscience of sorts. But that didn't mean he had to like it. Making sure Rin and the kit were sleeping, he stormed off in the direction of the hot spring.

Unknowing of the turmoil her demon companion was in, Kagome was deep in thought as she reflexively washed her body in the small spring; the steamy haze going hand in hand with the fogginess of her mind.

What happened exactly? All I remember is-

"You had a night terror."

Kagome gave a startled shout before submerging herself in the water. She turned slowly to see Sesshomaru sitting not too far away with his back to her. Kagome gave a mental sigh of relief, not knowing the true reason for the demon lord's supposed respect of her modesty.

"I had a…night terror?" She whispered. "But what-"

Suddenly scenes coated in a dream-like fog appeared before her in flashes. She felt her cheeks as she remembered the tears that had flowed down her face, and immediately her eyes widened as she rested the same hand on the nape of her neck.

"I remember now." She looked to the daiyoukai a few feet away to gauge his reaction, but he refused to face her still. "I'm sorry if I worried anyone."

For a while it was dead quiet, except for the sloshing waters as Kagome bathed herself. Then abruptly Sesshomaru spoke, albeit very hesitantly.

"You woke up in a shocked state; most likely thinking you were still in the dream. You were…screaming and… you kept apologizing." Sesshomaru shifted uncomfortably in his sitting position. Kagome gasped at this news. I was awake!? Oh Kami…I must have…he must know now that….damnit! This ruins everything! I didn't want to deal with this now! I just wanted to be able to go on this journey and forget about everything!

Kagome sighed in defeat. "I know. I remember everything now."

At this Sesshomaru's back visibly stiffened. "I see." They didn't exchange anymore words until they were walking back to the camp. This time, there was a little light from the rising sun.

When they were almost there, Sesshomaru said something that made Kagome almost drop her bathing supplies.

"My ward and the kit…their very happiness seems to be dependent on your presence and your wellbeing. When you awoke in a frantic state…they were inconsolable at best."

Is he trying to?...Shrugging it off, Kagome countered. "I'm sure Rin is just as content when I'm not around Lord Sesshomaru, it is you who she is so attached to. As for Shippo…he's growing up so fast. It won't be long before its time for him to be on his own."

Unbeknownst to Kagome, Sesshomaru was growling under his breath. Is she truly so convinced that she is useless?

"Hn. This Sesshomaru knows Rin far better than you do, and while she is happy for my company, I do no indulge in her child-like wishes as you do. As for the kit, I recall that he was orphaned? I doubt he would have survived long had you not decided to take him under your care. Not many humans would be so as to take a demon child as their own. "

Kagome wanted to scream at him, to punch him or something. How can you say that after you told me that I was a burden? That I wasn't needed? That doesn't make any sense! Why would you crush me under your boot only to try and cheer me up now?!

But she couldn't help but smile at her answer. The smile however, didn't reach her eyes. "Just like not many demons would take a human child as their own Lord Sesshomaru?"

He wouldn't have had a clever retort to that statement, but even if he did, Kagome didn't give him a chance to say it. "If someone like you could take in a small human child, then me taking in Shippo isn't all that spectacular don't you think?"

Sesshomaru suddenly realized that the conversation was reversing on him. "Someone like me?"

Kagome laughed bitterly. "You're obviously a stoic. Emotions are futile and all that, so if a stoic like you took in little Rin, what's so special about me taking in Shippo?"

Sesshomaru was started to get frustrated now. "Miko, I am just trying-"

Kagome stopped and turned to face him. "I know you are, I know what you're trying to do Lord Sesshomaru, but really there is no need to force yourself. You said what you felt was true…and I... respect that. So if you would be so kind as to not try to make up for saying something you were never sorry for in the first place. I deserve at least that much respect I hope."

Sesshomaru could only stare after her as she gave a bow and then walked into camp and began talking to Rin and Shippo as if nothing had gone wrong.

As Sesshomaru watched her, the fake smile pasted across her face made his stomach turn.

And that's when the feeling that had been simmering quietly in the back of his mind came to the forefront. The demon lord reflexively put his hand to his chest. What was this feeling? It felt like a wound, but left no scar.

That whole morning the miko's hollow laughter echoed in his ears, and his beast howled to comfort her, but Sesshomaru resisted. And even more so once he realized what the feeling was, for he had felt it only once before in his long lifetime.

Guilt.

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So for all you kiddies at home wondering how Kagome felt about what Sesshomaru said. The trouble is, most of it she'd already convinced herself of before Sesshomaru said anything. Sesshomaru's too stubborn to admit he was wrong, so this, my friends, is going to take a lot more work to fix. But trust me, once it is fixed, (which I'm hoping is in the next two chapters) they will be much closer for it. Much closer. Haha. But remember! Don't get your hopes up for romance just yet. There are many a emotional roller coasters to ride before where thorugh ;p

Next chapter we check up on Inuyasha and the gang, AND on our BFF Akio.

See you next time!