Hello divinely readers!
See my twist?
That's right. Be proud.
Probably didn't even make any sense.
BUT, IMPORTANT NEWS.
I've gotten a beta! -fireworks go off- ApatheticDreams. Hooray! (My leige will be helping me out with plotlines and such, so the story is top-notch!)
Unfortunately, this chapter is not beta'd. But that is entirely my fault. I didn't send the chapter until yesterday. Because I'm dumb.
SECONDLY, TheAmateurArtist drew me a picture of Jinx! Isn't that wonderful? However, I'm still awaiting permission to post it on le profile.
ANYWAYS, back on track.
(P.S. I have beta!)
MTR:
Annoying you.
Because I'm pretty good at that.
REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!
REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!
REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!
REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!
Just kidding, I'm only a little desperate.
As always, thanks to my reviewers!
KiriKatana, C. Holywell-Black, TheAmateurArtist, Almighty Caligula, HarryPotterMangaGleek, and my wondrous beta-chan ApatheticDreams.
Oi! I almost forgot.
I do not own death note. HA, you corporate psychos.
Pulchritudinous
"Sinister Enemies"
Matt inhaled through his nose. The crisp, not-so-fresh scent of Jinx's armpit was caught right in his "breathing zone." "Uhm," Matt mumbled, realizing his newfound position sprawled on the ground under Jinx, "What are you doing?"
"Shh," Jinx whispered from above him, "My sources have informed me that you are in the process of being kidnapped,"
"Jinx, it's one-hundred percent consensual," Matt tried but Jinx ignored him.
"I mean, Roger was telling me that you were attempting to run into the crossfire all by yourself,"
"Again, a decision made by myself," Matt notified again, but Jinx didn't take any notice.
"So, I thought to myself, "Now, why in the world would Matt try to go do something so dangerous without the help of Superhero Jinx?" Jinx continued, more musing to herself now than to Matt.
"Jinx, I hope you don't plan on coming with me,"
"So, I thought about it some more and I concluded that you must be being kidnapped, because I simply know you're not that stupid to go somewhere dangerous without me backing you up."
"Because I'm not letting you come with me," Matt added sternly.
Jinx turned to him suddenly, "You can't stop me, Matt."
Matt sighed and Jinx got up off of him. Matt began to sit up when Jinx sat down on his chest again, resting her elbows on her knees. Matt let out a small cry of agony and looked up at her. He'd never seen her in such deep, serious thought before. "Well," Matt replied, speaking up, "I know I can't stop you. You can crush me, but we're eleven. You still have to listen to Roger."
Jinx's face brightened, "Well, Matt, then I think I have an idea, and you're going to help me."
Matt groaned, here we go again.
"So, Matt," Jinx addressed between bites, "You think you got a plan yet?"
Matt stared at the girl munching on an entire dinner ham like it was ordinary, "Excuse me, Miss Jinx, but I thought you had an idea?"
"I did," Jinx assured, taking another ravenous bite of the ham, "Step one: get ham to stimulate creativity."
"What's step two then?"
Jinx's expression turned deflated, "Well, step one didn't work out so well," she said sadly, "I thought the ham would stimulate an idea for step two."
"Well, I never thought of pigs as the active type, so I don't understand why they would stimulate ideas," Matt said softly, following Jinx through the hallway.
The two were just passing a poster that advertized that there was a direct link to school performance and extra-curricular activities when Jinx shouted, "Stop!" She flung her arm in the air, smacking Matt in the face with her ham, when she declared, "I've just gotten an idea."
Matt wiped off the disgusting honey-glaze ooze from his face. "Is it the poster?"
Jinx looked at him with a perplexed expression, "What poster?" She asked. Matt mentally smacked his palm to his face and pointed to the poster.
"I'm a genius, Matt!" Jinx shouted suddenly, dropping the ham, "Look at this poster!"
"Yeah, just genius," Matt muttered under his breath.
"Follow me!" Jinx shouted, dropping her ham in the hallway and running through the corridor, "I have an excellent idea!"
Matt paced outside the door, tenderly rubbing his sore nose. Jinx had run directly to her room, without a break, and just as he was about to enter she had slammed the door shut, right in his face.
I hope she's out of there soon; Mello could be in serious trouble. The sooner Roger tells her "no", the sooner I get to leave, Matt thought restlessly as he continued to pace.
When the door finally opened, Matt wasn't the least bit suprised by Jinx's attire, probably because she always looked nothing less than outrageous. "Jinx, ma'am, why are you wearing a tuxedo?" Matt asked when Jinx finally exited her room.
"Why, Matthew," Jinx said, putting on a fake mustache and monocle, "Because people take sophisticated people more seriously, and, well, I'm wearing a mustache because mustaches are also pretty cool."
"Well, not to point out any flaws or anything," Matt started uneasily, "But wouldn't a dress make you look more sophisticated?"
Jinx gave him the death stare and Matt flinched a little, "Matt, now why in the world would I wear a dress?" Jinx growled, advancing, "Linda wears dresses."
Matt was unsure of what to say, but was saved by a voice behind them, "Yes, I do, because they're more feminine. Not that you would know anything about femininity." Matt turned around and flinched a little. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't absolutely wet-the-bed terrified of Linda.
"Look here, Matt," Jinx shouted suddenly, "Here comes the harlot of the orphanage!"
"I think I just peed a little," Matt squeaked quietly from behind Jinx as he used her as a human Linda-shield.
"Clever, Jinx," Linda replied, ignoring Matt's comment, "Because calling me a harlot is something you haven't done before or anything."
"Just because I say it multiple times doesn't mean it loses any truth," Jinx shot back, "Well, Matt, we best be going. Y'know, before any of her presence kills my mustache."
"I don't think that a mustache can be killed," Matt said quietly, trying to ignore Linda.
"I don't think that you really want to take that risk," Jinx said easily, "I mean, do you?" She asked, walking down the corridor.
"No!" Matt said distinctly, "The mustache will serve its purpose." He finished, starting after her.
"Ahem," Linda coughed from behind them, "Not to ruin your fascinating conversation or anything, but, hey, you don't happen to be on your way to Roger's office right now, are you?"
Jinx turned around suddenly, "What are you going to do about it?"
"Nothing really," Linda said as she turned around, "I just have an idea that the next few days are going to be a little rough for you is all," she finished, walking down the corridor.
"Who was she talking to?" Matt asked once Linda was out of earshot. "Me or you?"
"I don't really know," Jinx said, scratching her head, "But does it really matter? We have a more important mission!" Jinx declared, starting the opposite way towards Roger's office.
Matt stood still for a moment, trying to ponder what Linda could have been talking about. The next few days are going to be a little rough for you is all, Matt thought. What could that even mean?
Matt shook his head and decided to forget about it. It wasn't worth too much thought anyway. He turned his head around to see that Jinx had rounded the corner at the end of the long corridor, "Hey!" He called after her, "Wait up!"
Matt ran after Jinx blindly and ran right into her - sending them both crashing to the ground. Matt landed on top of her and she groaned.
Matt looked up and noticed that he was pinning Jinx to the floor. He blushed more than a few shades of red and immediately stood up, offering her a hand.
Jinx got up and moved her monocle back into place, "You okay, Matt?"
"What?" Matt asked, slightly confused.
"You're blushing like an idiot," Jinx informed him while wiping off her pants. "You should really look where you're going."
"You're just jealous because I was able to pin you down!" Matt cried defensively.
Jinx turned around, a monstrous glare in her eye. "You really want to test that theory?"
Matt gulped, "Not really," he answered softly, "But, uh, Jinx,"
"What is it, pipsqueak?" Jinx replied testily.
"Well, your mustache is kind of on your forehead." Matt whispered quietly.
"Eh," Jinx shrugged, suddenly calm, "Maybe that's where it's meant to be."
"Did you seriously just wonder if a mustache was meant to be on your forehead?" Matt asked.
"Did you seriously just ask me if I was serious?" Jinx returned.
"You're never serious, so how would I know?"
"Matt," Jinx started seriously, "I never joke."
"Oh, hush you," Matt ordered, pulling Jinx toward him, "This is going to bother me all day if I don't fix it."
"Oh, I see how it is," Jinx replied, smiling, "He likes to be in control."
"What?" Matt asked, "That's not what this is about!"
"Do you have some weird fantasy about me, Matt?" Jinx asked, purposely making him uncomfortable.
"Shut up, you," Matt said, yanking off the mustache from her forehead with a sickening rip.
"Ouch!" Jinx exclaimed, reaching a hand to tenderly feel her forehead.
"Sorry," Matt muttered, lining it up on her upper lip.
"'S okay, Matt," Jinx said, her signature smile returning, "I know about your sadistic ways."
"Ugh," Matt groaned, sticking the mustache on her face, "I just can't win with you."
"Now you want to win, too?" Jinx started, laughing, "You're really into these fantasies," she joked, clutching her sides as she laughed.
Matt shook his head, grabbed her arm, and pulled the laughing girl through the hallways. "I think you're the one with a sickness," Matt informed her as he pulled her through the hallway.
"Oh, really now?" Jinx asked between giggles, "What makes you say that?"
"I bet that you're the one with some freaky fantasy," Matt accused, walking toward Roger's office.
Suddenly they stopped walking as Jinx stopped in her tracks. Matt was yanked backwards as he tried to keep walking forward. He turned around to see Jinx with her catlike smile growing steadily on her face.
Jinx was silent for a few moments. "Jinx?" Matt asked, lightly concerned.
"How did you know?" Jinx asked scarily.
Matt stepped backward, "W-what? I was just joking..."
"Oh," Jinx said, laughing, "That's what I meant... a joke."
Matt shuddered, "What kind of fantasy is this? Is it some twisted world where you cut me open and then feed me my intestines?"
"Do you even know how long your intestines are?"
"Uh, no," Matt replied uneasily, clutching his stomach protectively.
"Well, Matthew," Jinx said, taking a step toward him, "They're about 27 feet long, combined, and let's just say that if I were to feed you your intestines it would basically just be an endless cycle of intestine. I think I'd rather feed you your stomach acid," Jinx smiled, walking past him, "Or maybe these delicious kidneys." She finished, poking him in the back, right next to his kidneys.
"Jinx," Matt said shakily from behind her, "You don't like the taste of kidneys, do you?"
"I suppose I'd try anything once," she responded, and Matt gulped, "But, this was just a joke, right?" Jinx asked, turning around to wink at him.
"Somehow that only makes me feel worse," Matt groaned from behind her, but continued to follow her to Roger's office.
They continued to walk, Matt always a few cautious steps behind Jinx, until they reached their destination. "This tall, menacing, dark oak door stands between us and fate," Jinx said softly.
"What are you, a poet now?" Matt asked out of the corner of his mouth.
"You know nothing about me, Matt. I was an astronaut, a surgeon, a successful writer/poet, a NASA scientist, and a cannibal all by the time I was ten," Jinx said proudly.
"A cannibal?" Matt asked, a little worry in his tone.
"I'm sorry; did I say that out loud?" Jinx asked and Matt nodded slightly, "My bad, but do you have the poster?"
Matt nodded and held the poster out to her at an arm's length, "Here - don't hurt me."
Jinx swiped it from him and rapped on the door, "My dear Mr. Ruvie, have I a proposition for you!" She pitched loudly and confidently through the door.
"The answer is "no", Jinx." Roger's cold, unyielding voice spoke through the door.
Instead of being discouraged, Jinx barged through the door. "Hello, Mr. Ruvie," she greeted loudly, "It's good to see you again. I see that you have a new ant farm on your desk," she pointed out happily.
Roger immediately snatched it from his desk and put it in a drawer where it would be secure from the marauding Jinx. "I was hoping I wouldn't see you for another week." He replied harshly.
"Well, I got off vacation early," Jinx responded easily, letting his harshness roll off her tough skin, "Those padded rooms are in high demand - it's impossible to get one for more than a few nights these days."
"I can imagine," Roger replied, not even slightly amused by her comment.
"Anyways," Jinx said, her announcer voice back, "I present you this poster." She said, unrolling the poster with a swift jerk of her wrist.
"What about it?" Roger asked, clearly uninterested.
"As you can see here it states that extra-curricular activities improve school performance."
"I can read," Roger replied grumpily.
"And you are aware that my test scores are rather low," Jinx continued.
"Extremely low," Matt added from the corner.
"Yes, I'm painfully aware." Roger answered.
"So," Jinx continued, sending a glare Matt's way, "I was thinking that I could join Matt here -"
"No." Roger responded, cutting her off. "I don't care how much your test scores will improve, how crazy you'll go, or how lonely you'll be. The answer is "no." Now get out." Roger said, ushering them out of his office.
Jinx looked at both of them, her look heartbroken. "Matt, you're not seriously going on an adventure without me, are you?"
"I'm deeply sorry," Roger said quietly, his tone softening. Only, his soft tone seemed to make everything more sad rather than reassuring.
"Me too," Matt said, inspecting his feet with a newfound curiosity, "But goodbye, Jinx. I'll be back before you know it." He finished, shuffling his feet on the shaggy carpet. He didn't dare look up - out of fear of seeing her heartbroken eyes.
Outside of Roger's office Linda and Effie squatted on the ground next to each other, ears peeled for the voices that came through the thick oak door. Effie stared at Linda, her expression uncertain as Linda strained to hear any sound.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Effie asked softly, "If there are any mistakes..."
"Then there won't be any mistakes," Linda whispered harshly, "I know exactly what she's going to do next."
Effie shifted uncomfortably on the floor, staring at her shoes, "Look, Linda, I understand your hatred of her, but is this necessary?"
Linda looked over at her, a soft expression crossing her eyes, "Effie, if you aren't committed I can easily find someone else to do the honor."
"I'm committed," Effie piped up immediately, "You have no reason to doubt me, and I just wanted to be sure that you were certain."
Linda smiled a vicious smile, "Don't worry, Effie," she said reassuringly, "I am 100 percent positive that our plan to eradicate the Jinx infestation will be a success before the disease spreads further."
Effie swallowed hard, the words stuck in her mind like tape. There was no doubt about Linda's plans, she knew for a fact that Linda fully intended to eradicate the Jinx infestation permanently.
Her trap was set.
"And the coastline is quiet, while we're quietly losing control, yes, we're silent but sure we invented the cure, that will wash out my memories of her," - I Will Play My Game Beneath The Spin Light, Brand New
Hooray for another chapter!
So, my question this week actually relates to the story,
What do you think of Linda? Muwhahaha.
As always, thanks to the reviewers and my dear beta (who I deeply apologize to and promise to give a week to Beta this time).
Shanks,
Sastars429
