There are probably several mistakes in here but I really don't have the patience for editing right now. I can barely get these chapters out…
Silence of the Air
Memory 11: Wake Up
The airport seemed so strange. They had arrived there in Otaru merely a week before but all that happened made it seem an eternity ago. Walking beside Ray, Kai looked distantly to the group of friends walking ahead of them.
"This was like old times, Kai," Ray smiled when he spoke, loyalty never fading from his voice. "I felt free like a high school student again. Beyblading were some good days. In fact, you still owe me that match you promised me four years ago."
"Hn." Kai grunted, back to his old habits whenever he was reminded of beyblading.
"Don't start that again, Kai!" Ray exclaimed, chuckling. "Whenever we talk about beyblading, you always try to act so tough."
"I have to. People expect strength from me," Kai said, rather begrudgingly.
Ray tapped Kai friendly on the back and made the Russian man turn around and look into his eyes. "Why are you so concerned with your image? You remind me of Laura Fan, now. And I mean Laura, not Forrest, because she never cared."
"You speak as if they're two people."
"You're avoiding my question, Kai," Ray frowned.
"All of you don't understand anything."
The small airport was rather empty so Janet, Aurora, Shayna, and Tala lifted their head and stared at the two men trailing behind. Aurora shot Ray a sharp look while Tala frowned at the two. Sighing, Janet coughed to catch the group's attention back to their previous conservation. She was not ready to hear another fight over Forrest. I really have enough of this. It's always Forrest this, and Forrest that. Why is Kai such a jerk sometime?
The silence reigned between Ray and Kai for a moment. The awkwardness rose beyond control. Tired of this, Ray retorted, "Why do you still side with her, Kai? She has made us fight, and we've never fought before, not when we were still a team."
"I will always side with her," Kai stated firmly, causing the Chinese man to frown.
"Because you still love her?" Ray asked, although it didn't sound like a question at all. He already knew the answer.
"Forrest was the first one who has ever made me open up. She taught me how to be a friend."
"I was your friend too, Kai!" Ray exclaimed, unbelieving that Kai only considered Forrest a true friend. He had been there for Kai many years before Forrest came in the picture.
"Yes, you were. But we were forced to be in a team before we became friends. She and I, on the other hand, became friends voluntarily, and then she joined the team. She has seen me beneath the surface. Ray, you've always looked up to me—" Kai saw Ray's surprised face, knowing that he had hit a spot and continued. "Don't think that I can't see it. Forrest knew that I was weak inside. She saw me as an equal and treated me fairly, not like you have exalted me. I at least owe her my trust and friendship, and even love."
Ray was undoubtedly stunned at Kai's speech. Rarely had he seen Kai so profound and meditative. "I don't exactly understand your logic, Kai," Ray closed his eyes for a second and looked up at the ceiling distantly, "but, yes, I have definitely looked up to your strength because you were always a leader. It's just that, now, I don't know why you're still chasing Forrest. You have Janet. You have your life. You need to stop chasing the past. I mean, to be honest, it seems that you're just doing this because of guilt."
"Hn."
"Damnit, Kai! Don't always 'hn' me!" Ray exclaimed, anger rising in him as he imitated Kai's famous expression mockingly.
"That is my own business."
"You know what, you're right," Ray admitted reluctantly. "You can do as you wish. I only wish you happiness, just as Aurora and I have."
"Really? Then, I don't want that at all," Kai stated in a monotone, devoid of any emotion and least of all, gratitude for his friend's wishes.
"What do you mean?" the other replied, rather frustrated.
"You are not entirely happy at all, Ray Kon." Kai's use of his friend's full name surprised Ray.
"Don't judge my life, Kai. You don't even know the meaning of happiness."
"I was happy once in the past."
The group had entered the point where Kai could no longer cross because he had no airplane ticket. Tala shot them a concerned look. 'Don't start anything,' his eyes said and Kai nodded back. He's right, Kai thought, we don't need a fight on the day of departure. We're friends.
"Just… learn to move on, Kai," Ray muttered, sighing as he swung his carryon baggage on his back and took Aurora's hand in his. The Chinese woman looked away distantly, as if unhappy.
Kai made no effort to promise Ray anything but suddenly advanced towards him. To the surprise of everyone, Kai gave his friend what seemed like an awkward and very "manly" hug.
"Goodbye, friend. But don't worry, we'll see each other again soon."
"Oh?" this time, it was Tala who spoke up. "For what?"
"I don't want to ruin the surprise," Kai said, rather mysteriously. He then exchanged a complicated handshake with Tala, the kind that only best friends memorized and used with each other. It was their code and symbolized everlasting friendship. Tala did not need a hug from Kai; the two Russian men understood each other perfectly without much affection.
With nothing left to say, the group turned around and walked towards the airport securities, depositing their bags on the conveyor belt for the scanner. However, Janet stayed behind and stared at Kai lovingly.
Janet smiled faintly at Kai. "But you're coming back to Bakuten soon, right, Kai?"
"Of course," he smiled weakly back although he didn't sound too enthusiastic about it. "I just need to discuss a project with my mother."
"Does that project involve Namiko… and Forrest?"
"Hn," he replied ambivalently. Janet looked at him confusedly; she had never known him long enough to understand his grunts.
"Give me a call when you go back to Bakuten, all right?"
"Sure."
Shyly, Janet leaned towards Kai and her pretty little face approached his. Putting an arm on her back, Kai leaned into her too and kissed her on the lips. She smiled approvingly against his lips. The exchange was sweet, polite, mechanical, but included no passion at all. But she took no notice of it and instead wrapped her arms tighter around him, making him feel all the curves on her petite body. Her feet were getting tired from tiptoeing to reach Kai's height so she withdrew. "Bye, Kai."
Janet turned away with her cheeks still flushed. Her red and orange hair danced like fire when she scurried to the securities to catch up to her friends.
Kai looked at her figure in the distance as she and the group turned on a corner and disappeared from sight. "I doubt that it's goodbye yet." He was even unsure himself whether he was happy or not to admit that.
By the second day that the others left, Forrest was already exhausted to her bones. Every time she saw a bed, couch, or even a chair, she urged to lie on it and take a nap. There was no mistake: Ms. Black was a business tyrant, running her plans thoroughly and exhausting all her resources, human or not.
"I can't believe that I promised to stay," she grumbled to herself, "I thought that collaborating with her would be the best thing that would happen to me. Dad would be so happy. But damnit, this is not worth it. All for a pathetic national beyblade tournament."
Forrest stared ahead, at the multiple doors in the endless hallway that lead to conference rooms. There were so many of them. Somehow, they always ended up in the largest conference, reserved for Ms. Black and her various affairs. Usually, it was extremely quiet in the hallway but this time, several cries echoed. She peered stealthily through the crack between the luxurious double doors and saw a man's back obstructing her view.
"It's time, Kai! You're twenty-three! When I was twenty-three, I was pregnant with your brother. Why don't you understand the importance of—" A shrill voice rang.
Ah, Forrest thought while emitting a soft sigh, Anna Black. I can recognize that commanding voice of hers anywhere. She stared at the man's back again and slumped her shoulders. It was Kai, arguing with his mother again. Forrest groaned in frustration. I do not want to deal with this…
"This is the twenty-first century, mother! I do not want to marry anyone right now! When I find the right person, I will tell you! I can't believe that you'd even make a suggestion like that – Do you know anything about what's going on between us? Have you ever thought about me? Is it just because she's prosperous? Did you—"
Growing impatient, Forrest knocked softly on the door, immediately interrupting all the yelling in the conference room.
"Am I early?" she asked politely before entering.
"No, no. We are just carrying some family discussions over into business ones. Excuse us for the lack of professionalism," Ms. Black replied immediately. She paused for a second and flicked her eyes at Forrest's figure. "But… since you're here. Why don't we discuss it anyway? It is about that suggestion that I made several days ago."
"Suggestion?" Forrest asked rhetorically. Her eyes scanned from Ms. Black's commanding figure to Kai's repressed one. The Russian man seemed to be slouching due to his furiousness. "Oh, that." Forrest blushed profusely when she realized that Ms. Black was referring to the marriage proposal. "As Kai has clearly and loudly stated, that would be up to us. Do not expect anything, Ms. Black. Right, Kai?" Her stare wandered to Kai's face and saw him nod awkwardly.
"I am just considering your happiness. You see, Kai really loved your presence in the past. I do not see why he refuses now," Ms. Black suggested, shrugging although Kai knew that she was being completely serious.
"Unfortunately, I have to inform you that things change, Ms. Black," Forrest said calmly as the previous flush disappeared from her cheeks. Her composure contrasted with Kai's nervous one. He tapped his leather shoes in a distressed rhythm and stared at nothing in particular. "Besides, I have not consented to such an agreement."
Silence hung in the room. Wordlessly, the three professional businessman and businesswomen sat down in their corresponding chairs. Kai pulled out a folder from his briefcase, set it on the granite top table and began tapping his fingers impatiently.
"I was just trying to be a good mother, for once."
Immediately, Forrest's and Kai's heads snapped to the speaker. Anna Black's voice was so strange, so… soft. So motherly, caring, and everything that she was not known for. Forrest peered from under and noticed for the first time the sympathy and love that swam in Ms. Black's orbs. The feelings were faint but they were definitely present. So, maybe she isn't a heartless bitch. She is a mother after all, Forrest considered for a moment the possibilities. Ms. Black's hands traced over the patterns of the granite top softly, barely touching the cool surface. Her composure indicated her state, contemplative and almost regretful. Kai stared at her unbelievingly, wondering if she was pulling some kind of act yet again. But something was different about this… Kai had seen his mother act but never had she seem so sincere. He had never seen her like this, not even when he was a child. When he was young, Kai called out the butlers' names more than his own mother's. He was taught to withdraw his emotions while he was still in Voltaire's grasp and even when he was free, his mother was always on a business trip. Maybe, he thought, she has finally realized her faults.
"Son, your brother, Jake, is so happy with his wife," Ms. Black enunciated each word clearly, her face suddenly wrinkly, as if all the familial love burdened her. "Caeline and—"
"Caeline Hovk?" Forrest's surprised and suddenly anxious voice echoed slightly in the empty room.
"Yes," Ms. Black replied, utterly surprised that Forrest knew about Kai's brother's wife, "Caeline Hiwatari, Jake's wife. They are quite happily married."
Forrest's heart rate increased exponentially; she felt as if she had just run the mile in record time. Her hands sweated profusely and she began shaking in nervousness. "I—I didn't know that—How could I miss this?"
"Miss what?" This time, it was Kai who had spoken. He had never seen Forrest so utterly afraid in her whole life. Why did Caeline arise such an emotion? The two women had absolutely no connections with each other, or at least he believed.
"Caeline. Such an uncommon name. I'd recognize it anywhere. Excuse me," Forrest muttered the fragmented statements in one breath, so rapidly that neither of the Hiwataris caught her words. Rising rigidly from her seat, Forrest marched mechanically out of the room, as if she had forgotten how to walk properly. Her brain dictated every action and she was afraid that she would collapse before people who should never be allowed to see her in her desperation. These were businesspeople.
Back in the room, Ms. Black's expression, to Kai's surprise, remained the same although her eyes were widened a bit. "I'm not sure why she stormed off," the woman stared at the chair that Forrest left behind. Normally, the younger woman would realign the chair perfectly with the empty ones around the table. Ms. Black then averted her eyes to her son's concerned face and strangely, she smiled. "Why don't you go after her, Kai?" Before she even finished her sentence, her son stormed out of the room. To that, Ms. Black couldn't help but to smirk.
Half a second later, her commanding expression conquered her face again. She chuckled to herself, satisfied where this was all going.
In the still empty hallway, Kai ran in record speed towards the elevator. Just about when the doors left a sliver of space, he stuck his hand between them and made them reopen. Finding Forrest's distant and annoyed stare on his face, Kai gave a meek smile and entered the almost empty elevator. He leaned against the wall and collected himself as the drowning elevator music settled in his ear.
"May I join you, in whatever you're doing?" he asked very politely.
"You don't have to pretend to be so courteous, Kai," she retorted rather furiously, then her voice turned simply tight, controlled. "But I suppose that I won't mind some company."
Glancing sideways at her, Kai smiled to himself. Just a week ago, he had been chasing Janet down the stairs after Forrest's encouragements, but this time, he was finally chasing Forrest. This all felt so right. His heart was in the right place again yet he felt as if he was betraying Janet. He sighed, deep in reflection, hoping that he won't have to chase either of them again. He was so tired of running after women. For the first time in years, he agreed with his mother: it was time for him to settle, somewhere, and with someone dear to him.
"I really don't want to pry that much," Kai began, his eyes still closed, but he could hear her breaths quicken in nervousness, "but what's your connection with Caeline?"
She waited for a while before replying, as if it was difficult to say anything at all. "Let's have a beyblade battle," she finally managed to utter.
I suppose that I can't decline that, Kai thought as he merely complied. The elevator came to a stop and with a ding, the doors opened. He opened his eyes and came to the familiar sight of the roof. There was no luxurious carpet covering the floor, just cold hard cement. A closed metal door would lead to the outside, to the beyblading dishes. Forrest stepped out the elevator first and breathed the outside air as she opened the metal door, as if free from confinement.
"I don't know why but I find some comfort in beyblading," she murmured, as if talking to herself.
Kai smiled to himself, glad that they had something in common. "You always did. You were a great beyblader."
"But you were and are always better," she replied with a sad tone. "I simply couldn't succeed." She turned her head to examine him and then gave a half-smile.
"It isn't about succeeding, Forrest. It's about playing the game, having fun, making friends…," he began to list but realized that he never really did most of that. It was what Tyson would have said. "You used to beyblade like Tyson."
"Is that good or bad?" she asked in reply. "From what I know, he was the immature one."
"That's true," Kai couldn't help but smirk, reliving the memories, "but Tyson was stronger than I was. I was the best beyblader on the team on a regular basis. That's why Mr. Dickenson first made me the captain. But Tyson played sporadically better. He had his moments; he would outshine me a lot. His beyblading always linked to his emotions and his inconsistency made him a star."
"So I was like that?" Forrest contemplated. Memories flashed through her mind quickly. "Are you still like that, Kai? You keep speaking in past tense but have you changed?"
He didn't understand what led her to ask those questions. Frowning, he searched his mind for an answer but found none. "I haven't thought much about that."
"I think that you're different now, Kai. You've changed. You seem like a different person from those journals," she answered for him, to his surprise. She paused as she fondled the inner pockets of her suit jacket for her beyblade. "You were so cold before but now, I can't even imagine what that must have been like. You are so gentle and caring now."
"You taught me that." He watched the effects of his words take hold of her slowly. She stared at her beyblade, Starlet, in a confused expression and thinned her lips.
"I don't think that I have the energy for a beyblade battle anymore," she replied, changing the topic. "If I am as you say, connected to my emotions, I certainly wouldn't do well in a battle right now." He understood the implications so followed her away from the beyblade dish.
A comforting silence reigned between them. Forrest took a seat on a bench and gestured for Kai to join her. She sat with her legs extended and softly tapped a rhythm on the cement.
"You have the right to know," she began, "about my connection with Caeline. I owe it to you."
"Thank you?" He replied, unsure.
She gave him a warm smile back and returned to her pensive mood. "It's a long story."
"We have time," he nodded and boosted her confidence.
Relaxing into the hard bench as comfortably as possible, she began. "This was three years ago. It began when I met Gabriel Valdez, a pianist. I went to his concerts many times and I was really intrigued with his playing. And you know, pianists, good with their hands," she commented with light laughter. But seeing no humor in Kai's eyes, she returned to her story. "We fell in love. Fourteen months and ten days after I met him, he proposed to me, and I accepted. I was truly the happiest person on Earth."
Kai stared at her face, trying to read her expression, and only found a distant happiness. He analyzed the story and thought that it was more like a fairytale. How did this Gabriel connect to Caeline? "Go on," he urged, although he really didn't want to hear more about their love.
Luckily, she spared him. "He was on his world tour and I accompanied him as I planned my business trips around his performances. We were in Russia at the time. We discussed many things: if he could keep touring and performing, where we would go for the honeymoon, who would pay the bills, what kind of house we would buy, and then somehow, we stumbled on the subject about my last name. I refused to change it to Valdez or Fan-Valdez, despite the traditions, because I was scared that it would redefine who I am. It would suppress my memories of my mother and cut our already faint relationship. The person that I love most was already dead and the only thing that I shared with her was my name. I was not ready to change that. I didn't want to explain all of it to Gabriel. I thought that he would take it badly; he would think that I didn't love him the most. But it was a different kind of love. So I gave him another excuse, saying that my father thought that changing my name would be bad for business. I'd have to build another reputation under my new name. It was only partially true: my dad did believe that, but I never really believed or cared much about it. It made Gabriel furious. He judged me heartless, too involved in the business world. He must have been in a bad mood that day, something about a mediocre performance, so he really erupted. We argued so much about such… trivial things."
By this point, Kai could see that Forrest's face was expressionless, so overwhelmed that she didn't know what emotions to show, but that didn't overcome his curiosity. He softly put his hand on her back and ran it up and down her spine, comforting her. She closed her eyes for a moment in short-lived bliss and then looked up to the sky.
"He stormed out of the hotel room and went to a bar. There, he met Caeline, who, I think, lived nearby and was taking a short break from her unsatisfactory marriage. The two connected, and I understand why; they were both in the same situation. After that, I am not sure what exactly happened. Gabriel must have offered Caeline a ride on some rented motorcycle. They only had one helmet and somehow Caeline wore it. He complained that a helmet would restrict his freedom –he always said things like that—but that was the most stupid thing he'd ever done. He was drunk. It was inevitable that he crashed and didn't survive. Caeline, however, escaped with permanent leg damage. She is bound to a wheelchair until her death."
After bringing the story to life in his mind, Kai could feel her pain. He felt her hatred for Caeline, her pain, and most of all, her guilt, crushing his senses and logic. "It's not your fault," he finally said. The love that he had for her was replaced with pity. If he had known the story, perhaps he would have never asked. It was so ironic; for these past two years, after the accident, he had been connected with her, yet he didn't know. Her love ran away with his brother's. It was just so… strange.
A much desired silence lingered between the two. Forrest regained her composure completely. It was in the past, her mind told her, and she would not let the past affect so gravely as it had done to Kai. "You are the first person whom I've told that to, except my family and Theresa," she finally broke the silence with casual words.
"Thank you, I suppose," he answered while his mind wandered elsewhere. He felt special yet at the same time, felt that he deserved to know this sooner. Forrest had known everything that happened to him—well, there wasn't much to know, but still—while he still felt that he had so much to discover. She was a completely different person and he just couldn't wrap his mind around why she had changed.
"So when are you going to invite Tyson?"
The question took him off guard. Her voice returned to a reserved and mechanical one, the one that she used to talk with his mother. He felt his heart pinch slightly and directed his gaze on her previously pained face, wondering if she had multi-personality disorder or something. "I will call Tyson tonight. He is still in America with Max so it'll be morning there." His voice, however, still retained his pity towards her.
"Are they like you too?"
"What?"
"Did we use to know each other?"
"You were quite fond of Max because he spoke perfect English, like you did. And you found some intelligence in Tyson that I never saw," he chuckled as he spoke about Tyson. So much had changed. Tyson had grown up and continual gregariousness earned him a lot more fans than Kai.
"Why is that?" Forrest asked.
"Hn," he paused in thoughts, searching for the right words to not insult his friend, "it always took him a bit longer to understand things. He always was a bit stubborn, but not stupid in any sense. His courage is quite remarkable, just like yours."
"Oh, really?" she asked rhetorically. "I suppose that I've changed more than he did then."
Kai stared at her figure distantly and then looked away.
"It really hurts me that I can't remember them. I see expectation in their eyes. Shayna, Janet, Aurora, Ray, Namiko, and even Tala... they all wanted to build a friendship with me but I had no foundations to start such a thing. Now I feel as if I owe them something, and it seems completely unfair to me. But I can't even imagine how it feels to be in their place. I hurt them, especially Aurora and Shayna but I didn't even—I mean, I'm not an evil person in nature. I just didn't expect them to be so damn nice to me. It has been 5 years, you know. I thought that maybe they would have moved on, then I wouldn't have to deal with all this. I have new friends now and…" her voice trailed away into the silence as her eyes stared into the distance. She realized that Kai wasn't listening to her anymore but did not mind.
Her voice, although cherished in his mind, blurred into a string of incomprehensible words. It was a habit, really, to ignore Forrest's rambles. Kai knew that it was important in some essence but the fact that she was rambling as if she was an insecure teenager again warmed his heart.
He was not sure how it happened but a second later, Forrest ended up in his arms. It was a friendly embrace, one that meant absolutely nothing sentimental. She did smell nice though, he remarked while smiling. Forrest's body was small, but not fragile like Janet's. Some of her muscles from swimming all those years ago still managed to cling on her arms and legs. Despite her emotional state, she was still physically strong. Maybe that was why she could hide everything so well, he concluded. She was fit to be a businesswoman.
"They'll understand, Forrest," he whispered softly.
She welcomed the gesture and did not push him back. But after a minute in the position, she began to feel a strange tingling sensation. Without sly movements, she slid out of his arms and stepped back. Giving him a sincere smile, she thanked him. Her hand reached into her pocket and took out Starlet.
"I'll have a Beyblade battle with you later then."
"Of course, anytime is fine."
"Thanks, Kai."
He was unsure what she was thanking him for but it did not matter. He watched her walk gracefully back, balancing with skill in her high-heeled boots. When she reached the door, she turned around and paused for a second.
"Don't call me Forrest again," her voice was surprisingly cold.
"What—why?" confusion hit him. What caused her to say that all the sudden?
"You have this untarnished memory of Forrest and I want you to keep that. It's really a compliment to me that you once loved my past self. But I'm not Forrest anymore." She turned her head back towards the entrance into the building and opened the door. "I don't know what you want, Kai. If you want me to regain my memories, you've succeeded already so don't hesitate to say goodbye to me. But if you want something more, you can't treat me like you would treat Forrest. If you want someone like Forrest again, you should deepen your relationship with Janet because she, not I, resembles Forrest."
"I—" he started but the heavy metal door banged as it was shut.
He pinched himself harshly to see if this was real and felt the pain sensors shoot to maximum intensity. Gritting his teeth, he stomped to the nearest beyblading dish and launched Dranzer into the dish with ferocity.
Both his hands curled into fists and he fell onto his knees. With all his strength, he punched the cement floor. The pain that soared through his body was nothing compared to what he felt in his heart. He glared at Dranzer although his anger was directed towards himself.
"I've been living in a fucking dream…"
Author's Notes: From now on, I'll try to update every month.
Now you know what has happened in Forrest's past. I'm sorry that it's so complicated. You probably fell asleep through the story but try to imagine how both of them would feel…
Yeah, I was a bit rough on Kai towards the end of this chapter but really, he's been way too optimistic.
I love writing Anna Black's character… is she evil or not? Mhmmm.
Spoilers: Next chapter will be set in Bakuten and I'll finally delve into one of my major side-stories. Someone has noticed before that all the relationships are so damn perfect except for Kai's and they were right. Perfection doesn't last. Jake and Caeline's marriage, which started in the prequel, is already broken. I wonder who comes next? Should be pretty obvious actually.
Please review. It's the only thing that keeps me going! (Seriously, one review for every 50 views is not comforting.)
And if you haven't already, read the prequel to this or you won't understand much!
