a/n Thanks as always to my prereader GemmaH for all her help with this story and special thanks to tigerlilylace for her awesome beta skills, especially when she was having such a shit time in RL. Huge thanks to those who are reading and especially to those who leave a review. I love reading them.
Disclaimer: SM owns everything Twilight related. She doesn't own the huge tequila hangover I am suffering with today!
Answers
EpoV
I walked slowly up the stairs, buying myself a little time while I tried to sort out everything I wanted to say to her. She hadn't moved from the bedroom, I could hear her heart beating rapidly as she waited, frightened. I didn't want her to be scared of me, I wanted her to accept what I was and welcome me with open arms. I knew in reality, the chances of that happening were slim to zero. But I had to tell her, especially after what we'd shared last night.
I mentally prepared myself, to accept that last night might be the only time I got to touch her like that. The only time I would feel her wrapped around me. The only time she would scream out name in ecstasy. The thought was crippling and I grabbed hold of the stair rail to hold myself up. She had brought me to life and the thought of losing her, after having only just found each other, was utter agony. I wished I had Jasper with me, he was the only one who could help me deal with these feelings. I really fucking missed my brother.
Finally, I reached the top of the stairs and found myself outside her door. I could hear her breathing on the other side. This was it, the point of no return. Putting my hand on the door, I gently pushed it open.
My eyes found her immediately, she was sitting in the middle of the bed with her knees drawn up to her chest, her bottom lip held firmly between her teeth.
"Bella?" I whispered, afraid anything louder would startle her.
She looked up at me then, her big brown eyes wide and confused.
"Edward?" she whispered back. "What's going on?" She hugged her knees tightly, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. "I heard what you said," she let out a little chuckle, but there was no humor in it. "It was kinda hard not to. What did you mean, she'll wake up just like you?"
I took a deep breath, even though I had no need for it, and moved to join her on the bed. She flinched as I got closer and a stab of hurt went straight through my heart. She gave me a small, apologetic smile and I chose to sit on the edge of the bed instead. The need to touch her was overwhelming, but I clenched my fists and kept them trained to my side to prevent them from straying.
"Bella, have you noticed anything different about me and the rest of my family?" I watched her, and her reaction to my question told me that she had.
"Yes," she replied, but chose not to elaborate.
"Tell me."
She paused, breathing deeply, as if steeling her resolve for what she was about to say.
"You're all so beautiful." I smiled a little at that.
"What else?"
"You never seem to eat."
"What else?"
"Your skin, it's so very cold."
I saw her confusion remain as she said these things out loud, trying to figure out what it all could mean.
"Anything else?" I asked
"Isn't that enough?" she bit back.
I had to chuckle at her response, pleased to see that she wasn't not too afraid to bitch at me.
"Yes, I guess it is." I replied. "But it's not all of it, Bella."
I hesitated, nervous all of a sudden. This was where I told her the truth and she ran screaming out the door.
"We never sleep."
Her eyes widened in disbelief and I could tell she was about to question me, so I held up my hand to stop her because I wasn't finished yet.
"We do eat, we just don't eat human food."
"What do you mean by human food?" she scoffed.
I could see her hands ball into fists as she grabbed the sheets, her heart rate speeding up from either fear or excitement. I was going with fear at this point.
"We eat blood, Bella." Her gaze narrowed.
"What do you mean, We eat blood?"
She was going to make me spell it out to the letter.
"I mean, we eat blood. We are vampires. Only we eat animal blood, instead of human. For the sake of our humanity, I guess you could say."
There, it was done. I'd spilled my deepest, darkest secrets and now waited anxiously for her response to it all. Once, again, it was so fucking far from what I was expecting.
She laughed, long and hard. Tears beginning to stream down her face. For a minute I thought she might be getting a little hysterical.
"You're fucking kidding me, right?" she managed to get out. " A family of fucking vampires? Is that what you're telling me?"
I nodded, not sure what to do as her reaction was so unexpected. I could hear Emmett's laugh from downstairs, where he was waiting with Carlisle and Esme.
Fucking awesome, man! You sure know how to pick 'em.
I moved over to her and grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to stop laughing and look at me.
"Yes! That's exactly what I'm trying to fucking tell you!"
"That's the biggest pile of shit I've ever heard, Edward," she said, almost spitting out my name. "If you don't want to tell me what's really going on with your family, then that's fine. But don't treat me like a fool and try to brush me off with this crap!" She waved her arms around, gesturing wildly.
I didn't think for one fucking minute that she wouldn't even believe me, and I was momentarily speechless.
Show her. Carlisle's thoughts invaded my mind.
Fine. She hadn't really left me much choice.
"Watch me."
I looked her deep in the eyes, before disappearing to the other side of the room using my vampire speed to its full extent.
"Holy Shit!" she gasped, her hand flying up to cover her mouth.
I jumped on the bed, she jumped a mile in the air at my proximity, but I'd already moved over to the window. She didn't say anything, just sat there as if frozen in place. I walked towards her, slowly this time, and watched mortified as she scrambled back against the headboard, trying to get away.
Away from me.
Shit!
I wanted to make her believe me, not frighten her to death.
"Sshh... Bella." My voice soft and soothing. "Don't be scared. I would never hurt you, I promise."
She shook her head and tried to get further away.
"Edward..." she sobbed and my chest tightened at the pain I could hear in her voice. "Wh... what are you?"
"You know what I am."
"But... but that's not possible..." she mumbled, as if speaking to herself.
"Think about it, Bella." I urged her. "Everything you've seen or suspected. You know in your heart that I'm telling you the truth, don't you?"
She stared into my eyes for what seemed like forever, before finally nodding her head ever so slightly.
"Yes," she breathed. "Oh my God!..."
I saw the tears begin to fall relentlessly down her soft cheeks and I went to comfort her but she raised her hand to stop me.
"Please don't."
I did as she asked, but felt the sharp sting of rejection as she pushed me away.
I loved her.
I needed her.
We sat in silence, for the next twenty minutes and thirty seven seconds, but it seemed oh so much longer. I watched closely as she stared aimlessly out the window. Not having moved from her place at the top of the bed.
Eventually, she broke the silence, but after I'd heard her words I really wished she hadn't.
"I need to go." Her voice was flat and empty.
"Bella..." I cried, my pain and agony obvious. A flicker of emotion passed behind her eyes.
"I need time, Edward. I can't process all of … this..." she gestured to me and our surroundings, "while I'm still in this house, with you."
I understood that she needed time, I hated it, but I understood. I couldn't let her leave just yet though, there was so much more she needed to know.
"There's more."
Her head whipped up and she looked at me incredulously.
"More?" she screeched. "How the fuck could there possibly be more?"
I needed to tell her about Charlie, the wolf pack and of course Alice, which she seemed to have temporarily forgotten about. I didn't know where to start. The truth would hurt her and resurrect painful memories. I didn't want to cause her anymore pain, but I had to tell her the rest.
"Charlie -" I started, but she quickly interrupted as realization dawned on her.
"Noooooooo..." she shook her head frantically. "Did... did you kill my father?" Her face was a mask of shock and horror, that the man she'd slept with could possibly have murdered her father.
"What? No!" I shouted, making her flinch again. "Of course not, Baby."
I couldn't stop myself this time, and I gathered her up in my arms as she started to sob. She stiffened in my embrace, but made no move to push me off. I would take that, for now.
"Then who?" she sniffled into my chest.
"Wolves." I replied.
"The same ones that attacked me?"
"Yes. But Bella," I hesitated, not sure how she would take this next revelation. "They aren't ordinary wolves."
"What do you mean?" she asked, warily.
I held her close as I explained all about the wolves and the wolf pack. How our presence in Forks caused the young men of La Push to morph into the giant wolves that attacked her in the forest. I could see her mind working, processing everything I'd told her so far. It wasn't long before she asked the question I'd been expecting.
"Is... " she swallowed, and tried again. "Is Jake a wolf?"
"Yes..."
"Fuck!" she shouted, angrily. "Was that motherfucker there when they attacked me? Or Charlie?"
As much as I hated to defend Jacob, I quickly told her that no, although he was a wolf, he wasn't involved in either the attack on her or Charlie. She breathed a big sigh of relief and I felt her relax slightly at the knowledge that he had nothing to do with her fathers death.
"Who was it then?" she asked quietly.
"Paul." I paused, before telling her the rest, knowing that it would remind her of why we were here.
"He attacked Alice too."
"Alice?" she shrieked. Her shoulders slumped and I could hear her mumbling under her breath. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!..."
I waited patiently for her mind to catch up, our conversation had now come full circle. I didn't have to wait long at all, it seemed. She stilled suddenly and I felt her head lift up, so she could look me in the eye and repeat her earlier question.
"What did you mean, when you said that Alice will be the same as you?" she asked, tentatively.
"Alice is dead, ...isn't she?"
"No...well yes, technically, but not exactly..." she looked like she wanted to kill me at this point, so I just said it.
"Jasper bit her."
She gasped and her hands flew up to her face.
"He didn't know what else to do. She was dying." I flinched at the horror on her face. "She's going through the change now and will be a newborn vampire in a day or so, hopefully."
"What the fuck does that mean exactly? What change? And the word hopefully doesn't exactly sound promising!" she shouted, finally pushing me away. I let her.
"It means, that she'll wake up and be just like me." I said, slowly, letting it sink in. "Only stronger and thirstier. I said hopefully, because Alice's transformation has been a little different than normal, but Carlisle assures me it will fine."
I could tell she wasn't taking in everything that I was trying to tell her, judging by the look of hope that was creeping across her face.
"I can see her again?" her voice was full of it and I hated to crush it back down, but there was no way I could let her see Alice.
"No, Bella. Not for a very long time, if ever. It's too dangerous."
"Dangerous? How? She's my best friend." Her statement was so absurd, that despite the gravity of the situation, I couldn't help but chuckle. She looked confused again, still not grasping what I meant.
"Her diet has changed, drastically." I looked at her pointedly, hoping that now she would get it, without me having to spell it out.
"Oh!... oohhh!" Finally! She understood.
"She'd want to eat me?"
"More than likely, yes." Considering the way Bella smelled, it would probably take me, Jasper and Emmett to hold her back. That was not something I ever wanted to experience. "She can learn to be like us, but it takes a lot of time and control. Something newborns don't often have a lot of. It may be years."
"Well that fucking sucks!" she cried angrily.
I agreed, because it did fucking suck. No pun intended.
We sat there for a while longer, as she considered everything I'd told her.
"Why would he attack Alice?" Why her? What the fuck did she ever do to them?"
I didn't have an answer for her, but before I could say that, she was up and off the bed. She grabbed her clothes and disappeared into the bathroom to change. When she came out, her expression was cold and hard. Her tears now replaced by anger.
"I want to leave. Now." she stated, not looking at me. "I need to be alone, and I can't do that here."
She looked determined and I was suspicious that she'd do something stupid or rash.
"Where will you go?" I asked, because her house was still taped off and I didn't think it had even been cleaned yet.
"There's only one hotel in Forks." she said, still looking at the floor. "I guess I'll go there, for now."
I didn't fucking like this idea, but I knew this had been too much for her to take in all at once. As much as it pained me to do so, I needed to let her go. I would obviously be keeping a close eye on her though. I realized then, that she had no means of transport, so I held out my keys to her.
"Here, take my car. But... just promise me you won't do something stupid"
She reached out and took them from me, swallowing once before answering.
"I promise." I didn't believe her, because she refused to look at me as she said it.
She turned and headed towards the door, I got up and followed her.
"Bella?"
She stopped, but didn't turn around.
"Will you come back?" To me?"
She didn't answer right away and the silence was torturous. I wanted to beg her to accept me for what I was and to stay here with me. I wanted to hold her and kiss her, whisper that I loved her and never wanted to let her go.
"I don't know."
It was barely a whisper, I doubt I would have heard it if I didn't have enhanced senses. I'd expected her answer to be like this, but the thought that this might be over for us, was almost more than I could bear.
"Bella... please... I -"
"Don't, Edward." She cut me off, but her voice was softer now. "Just let me go. Please."
I walked after her down the stairs, ignoring my family and their influx of thoughts.
Edward, you can't just let her leave! She knows everything now!
Carlisle was furious.
Did you at least swear her to secrecy? Does she know what will happen if she tells anyone?
Carlisle's right sweetheart, have you explained the consequences to Bella?
Esme now joined in, concerned but not angry.
"Enough" I hissed. "I trust her with my life."
Well now you've trusted her with all of ours as well! I hope you're right about her.
I opened the front door and lead Bella to my car, neither of us having spoken since leaving my bedroom. She opened the car door, but before she could get in, I placed my hand on her arm to stop her. She tensed slightly, but not as bad as before. It still hurt though.
"You can't tell anyone about this. It would end very badly for all of us." I tilted her chin up so I could see her eyes when she answered.
"I would never tell, Edward." she looked at me for a second longer, before shrugging me off and getting in the car.
"Who the fuck would believe me anyway." she said, before pulling the door shut and starting the engine.
I watched her as she drove off, unable to tear my eyes away until she disappeared from my sight, taking my heart and soul with her.
-oxo-
BPoV
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck" I screamed as I slammed my hands against the steering wheel. The tears had started to fall as soon as Edward's house disappeared from my rear view mirror, I angrily wiped them away with my fingers.
When I'd woken up this morning, I'd been blissfully dreaming about Edward, lost to his heavenly touches and kisses. I heard shouting from downstairs and then Edward said something that shocked me wide awake. I had no idea what he'd meant, but the way everything went silent after he said it, told me I wasn't meant to hear. I'd sat curled up on the bed, nervously waiting for him to come back upstairs.
I'd known there was something different about Edward and his family, but never in my wildest dreams, or nightmares, did I expect the explanation that he'd given me.
Edward was a vampire.
It still sounded so unbelievable and if I hadn't seen it with my owns eyes, I would never have thought it possible. But I had seen it. Seen him. He'd moved around that room so impossibly fast, I knew he wasn't human. I didn't know how to feel about him now. My body still reacted to him, still wanted him. I knew he was still the same man that had made love to me the night before, he hadn't changed. But everything else had. I couldn't help but shy away when he went to touch me, I hated to see the pain it caused him, written all over his beautiful features, but I just couldn't help it. My mind was telling me he was dangerous and I needed to run far, far away. I knew in my heart that he would never hurt me, but it was all so confusing.
They were vampires.
Alice was going to be one.
Jacob was a wolf.
"Holy shit!" I cried to the empty car.
It was all too much to handle in one go. My mind couldn't wrap itself round the enormity of what he'd told me. I didn't know which part to think about first. Charlie had been attacked by wolves, who were actually boys from La Push. The same wolves had attacked me and then Alice. And Oh my God, Alice. She was dead, kinda, but sort of not. She was going to be like Edward, but I still couldn't see her.
Arrghhh!
The one thing that my mind kept coming back to throughout out all of this, was Paul.
Paul had killed my father.
Paul had attacked me in the forest.
Paul had attacked Alice.
Motherfucking cocksucker!
It's about time someone made Paul fucking pay for what he'd done. I spun the car around and headed back towards Charlie's house. I knew it was a stupid thing to do,and I could very well get myself killed, but I couldn't stop it all from going round and round in my head. Paul. It s all his fucking fault. Everything bad that had happened the last few weeks revolved around him and his gang on the Reservation. Even after everything that Jacob done, I didn't want to believe that he and Billy were involved, but I would never know if I didn't start asking questions.
I pulled around back at Charlie's and went in through the kitchen, studiously avoiding the blood stain that I'd slipped in before. I tried to block the images of that day from my head, I couldn't afford to dwell on that now. I went straight to the gun cabinet, thankful that I'd kept all the keys on my keyring. Charlie had loved his guns and had amassed a substantial collection. I reverently ran my hands over them, fondly remembering all the times he'd taken me shooting. If we were going to have guns in the house, he'd insisted that I knew how to handle one correctly. I knew how to use nearly all of them and I'd never been so glad for that, as I was at this moment.
I took his Glock .22 and extra ammo, I had no idea how many wolves there might be. I locked the cabinet, because I didn't want any of his other guns to get into the wrong hands, and ran back out to the car. I stowed the gun under my seat and started the engine. My hands were shaking slightly and I gripped the steering wheel tighter, to make them stop. I was terrified of what might be waiting for me at La Push, but I had to go. I wanted answers and that was the only place I was going to get them. I also wanted Paul. He'd destroyed my family and he was going to answer for it.
I put the car in drive and set off towards the Reservation.
-oxo-
I drove nearly all with my foot flat to the floor. Being a cop's daughter I very rarely, if ever, went over the speed limit. But at this moment in time, I didn't give a shit and it felt fantastic. I felt reckless for once in my life and it was just what I needed. The past few weeks had gradually gotten more intense, until they'd come to a head with Alice's death. Which I still had no idea how to deal with. On the one hand I was overjoyed that she wasn't gone for good, like I'd thought, but I had no concept of what she would be like now. When Edward had said she'd wake up and be just like him, I nearly cried with joy, because if that were true then in a couple of days I could be sat talking to her. Just like I was doing with Edward.
Unfortunately, he seemed to think that was totally out of the question, because of her new diet. Which still makes me shudder. Ugh! If I made it out of La Push OK, we were going to have to discuss this, because if Alice was alive, or whatever she was, then I wanted to see her. I just couldn't believe that she'd ever hurt me.
All too quickly I saw the outskirts of the Reservation through the trees, I slowed down Edward's car to barely a crawl and slowly made my way in.
Ironically, the first you house you had to drive past on the road in, was Billy and Jake's. I decided that theirs was as good a place as any to start at and pulled up at the back next to Jake's old makeshift garage. I sat for a minute and stared at out the front windshield, gathering my nerve. It seemed like a lifetime ago since I used to help Jake, as he attempted to fix up old bike's and cars in there. Everything was so simple then, my only concern had been whether or not Charlie was going to make me cook fish for dinner again. So much had changed, I hardly recognized the Jake I'd seen of late.
I shook my head to rid it of the old memories, they had no place here anymore. I grabbed Charlie's gun and opened the car door, trying not to make too much noise. I checked that the safety was on and shoved the gun into the back of my jeans. I hoped I wouldn't need it at Billy's but I didn't trust anyone at this point. I'd started to to walk round to the front of the house, when I saw the back door to the kitchen swing open. I stopped walking immediately, my hand hovering over the back of my jeans, ready.
"Bella?" Billy whisper yelled from the doorway. "What the hell are you doing here?" He wheeled his chair to the side and beckoned me inside, but I hesitated, unsure of what to do.
"Get the hell in here before you get yourself killed!" he hissed at me. "Charlie would turn in his grave if I let anything else happen to you."
He sounded so sincere, and so much like the old Billy I knew that I couldn't help myself, and I scurried over to the door and slipped inside. After all, if I wanted information I needed to start asking some questions. He quickly shut the door, locked it behind me and hurried me into the small living room. He wheeled himself over to the windows and drew all the curtains, but not before having a sneaky look outside. Eventually he turned round to face me and I couldn't help but gasp. It had only been a few years since I last saw him, but he looked so much older than I remember.
"I know," he chuckled sadly. "I look, like an old man, right?"
I didn't know what to say, so I just shrugged noncommittally. I opened my mouth to asking him what the fuck was going on around here, but he beat me to it.
"Bella, I don't want to appear rude, sweetheart, but what the fuck are you doing here?" My eyebrows disappeared into my head at his use of the F word, but he carried on regardless. "Do you have any idea what's going on here? How dangerous it is for you to be here right now? If they knew -"
"I know about the wolves, Billy." I interrupted, hoping to catch him off guard.
He looked at me, a sad smile etched on his face. He rubbed his hands over his tired, old face and sighed.
"I knew you'd find out, somehow. Far too stubborn for your own good, just like Charlie." I moved to interrupt again, but he started to talk before I got the chance. "I told Jake to leave you alone, that it would be better that way. But no, he insisted he could persuade you to stay away and keep you safe. Hot headed young fool."
"Keep me safe?" I screeched at him. "He's done everything but keep me safe! Billy, he got Alice killed, for fuck's sake!" I was so angry I was shaking. How could he possibly imply that Jacob had done anything to help me. He was clearly just as much in the dark as I was.
"You've got it all wrong, Bella."
"I don't fucking think so. He's part of the same wolf pack that killed Charlie and attacked me and Alice. How can you defend him and justify his actions?" I demanded, angrily.
"I know it looks bad, but there are things you don't know about."
"Then tell me," I said, as calmly as I could manage. I'd come here for answers and it finally looked like I was about to get them. "Explain to me what these things are that I don't know about."
He took a deep breath and motioned to the old couch next to him.
"Sit down, sweetheart, we need to talk."
-oxo-
a/n Did she react as you expected? What do you think Billy is going to tell her? Please review and let me know your thoughts. I love reading them.
I'm participating in Fandoms Fight the Floods, to help Queensland's flood victims. Donate $5.00 to the Queensland Government Appeal and send your receipt to the managers at fandomsfightthefloods(dot)blogspot(dot)com. On March 1st, you'll receive a bundle of stories from fic authors. I've signed up to do an Edward/Jasper slash one-shot.
