Shion woke up with a single, massive, full-body twitch. Nezumi yelled and shoved him out of bed before he was fully awake. They both stared at each other, breathing hard. Shion slowly turned bright red, then dragged his eyes to the floor.

"Um," he said.

"Yeah," Nezumi said. "Wanna go out for Burger King?"

"Yes okay," Shion said, still staring at the floor. He tucked his knees to his chest. "Um."

"I think your pants are on my bed," Nezumi said. He looked at where he was sprawled, then up at the puppy posters now exposed again by the drooping wall hanging, and winced. "Goddamit, now I'll smell like dog."

Shion paused his mad scramble for clothes and looked at Nezumi with an expression of absolute puzzlement. "Is this really what morning afters are like?"

Nezumi blinked, then turned suddenly to hide a smirk. "Ah. Not always." He glanced back at Shion. "I don't take everyone out for Burger King."

Shion's smile would have sold a lot of Crest. "I'm getting a Whopper."

"No, you're not." Nezumi knotted his hair back in a ponytail as he dug for underwear with his toe. "Hey, you find my shirt. I only have three."

"Here!" Shion held up the wadded shirt like it was the prettiest egg in the Easter hunt. "I got it!"

"Great. Now, where's my phone?"

"Why?"

"I have to try and ruin Inukashi's morning and then my day will be perfect."


Inukashi's phone bipped. They woke up groaning, curled up on their aunt's couch with the pillow dog on their feet. It took a long time for Inukashi to reach their phone, and even longer to read the text:

do not wonder why i am sticky, shion is sticky, and your bed is sticky

They muffled their scream into a pillow but their uncle still clattered down the stairs with his bloodhounds in tow, roaring about burglars and the second amendment.


The kid behind the counter was picking his nose and watching them both with a worried look, like he was allergic to afterglow. The weird albino kid wouldn't stop grinning.

"You can get shit off the dollar menu," Nezumi said, tugging coins out of his pocket and counting them out carefully. "Oh, wow, you can get two things."

"French toast fries and a chocolate milkshake!" Shion said, scrounging in his own pockets. "I can pay!"

"No, it's cool" Nezumi said, putting a hand up. "I got this. I can afford post-fuck food."

"Uhhhh welcome to Burger King," the boy behind the counter said, looking very nervous now. "May I take your order?"

"What the happy one said," Nezumi said, jerking a thumb at Shion, "and a coffee."

"We, uh, have iced—"

"Coffee."

"There's—"

"Coffee. Coffee coffee coffee." Nezumi shoved his change forward and dragged Shion to a booth.

Shion was staring at the table now with a serious look on his face. "Uh. So are we—"

Nezumi held up a hand. "Coffee."

"Wha—"

"Wait." Coffee arrived and Nezumi popped the lid and breathed in its fumes. "Goddamn I needed this. Sorry about last night. You probably shouldn't get drunk around me, you know.

Shion was staring at his milkshake and slowly pinkening. "I wasn't drunk but… I just wanted to say, um. Kissing was so insane. It was like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galaxy."

Nezumi laughed. "Uh, yeah, the making out was good. Where did you find pot this early?"

Shion smiled and popped the lid on his shake. "I'm not stoned."

Nezumi stared at him for a moment, took a breath, then drank coffee very quickly. He set the cup down on the table and glared at it. "Okay. Here's the deal. You know how I'm a whore?"

Shion winced and dipped a french toast stick into his milkshake. "I don't think you should call yourself that. It sounds mean—"

"I fuck a lot of people, Shion. Not ashamed of it. Not going to change. I've had this conversation many times before."

"Oh." Shion bit his lip. "How does it usually end?"

"About eighty percent of the time they're game for more sex. Half of them are actually okay with just sex, the other half start wanting to talk about shit all the time."

"How many stick around?" Shion asked, cocking his head to the side.

Nezumi snorted and sipped his coffee. "I don't date, Shion."

"Well yeah, but you can still be friends with people. It's called, um, there's a swear in it, it's called fuckbuddies." Shion whispered the last word nervously. "Safu told me about it— Oh, that was another clue, huh?"

"Yes, that was another clue. And they don't stick around for 'friends,' Jesus. You're in my room all the fucking time, do you see friends there?"

"Inukashi's your friend," Shion pointed out.

"Inukashi's a little shit with a lot of dogs and no sex appeal. Speaking of them…" Nezumi pulled out his phone and typed up another text.


Miles away, Inukashi stared at their bipping phone. They reached out and opened it slowly.

Gotta hit home depot. cracked a wall while fucking

Inukashi threw the phone into their backpack and pulled the pillow dog onto their lap, rocking back and forth in horror.


"Inukashi's still your friend," Shion insisted, finishing off his french toast fries. He tucked a straw into his milkshake and started sucking at it, then stopped. He began shading towards pink again. "Okay, wait. Um. Let me start this apology by saying; I'm sorry I bit your penis—"

"I'd say forget about it but I never will," Nezumi sighed, shifting in his seat. "That was a terrible time to sneeze. That was actually a… strange encounter over all. What was that?"

"What was what?"

"Just… All of it. That was, I mean, I'm sorry but that was some of the worst sex I've had that still, yanno, succeeded. What was that whole thing?"

Shion was well on his way to boiled-lobster now. "…my virginity…"

Nezumi's eyebrows shot up. He stared at the blushing, shrinking boy in front of him. Then he sighed again, rubbed his neck, looked around the Burger King, and said, "Look… just finish your fucking milkshake."

Shion used a spoon for the rest of it.