Arafinwe feels Mornel is not healing as well as she should and sends her to Lorien under Findis' care. Mornel learns about what happened at Alqualonde and is distraught.
11. Gardens of Lorien
"Thank you, Mornel," Findis looked up as Mornel brought over the herbs she needed for her sleeping draught. She had been mixing it for some elves still tormented by nightmares from the Kinslaying and unable to enter their much-needed reverie. Findis had officially started her discipleship under Lady Este and Lord Irmo in the arts of healing. Henceforth, she would not be as free to leave Lorien to visit her brother.
Arafinwe had been too hasty in sending Mornel to Lorien, Findis mused as she carefully weighed out the necessary herbs to be boiled for the patients. Mornel's healing had been slow as expected of a child not born in the Light of the Trees. However, the slight weakness in her left leg remained long after the other hurts had healed. Findis found she rather enjoyed her niece's company. Amarie was a great help in the early days but she had duties in Tirion she could not neglect. The child was curious about the healing arts and the Gardens of Lorien. The Maiar allowed her to wander about as long she did not over-exert her weak leg or disturb the other patients.
Mornel's recovery was well on track and it would not be long before she could be returned to Tirion. Already she had put her crutches aside although her leg was still weak. Olorin and Aiwendil visited often with stories and little gifts for the child's amusement. It could be boring in the Gardens for a child. Mornel found other elflings who had been left at Lorien by their parents to heal and shared the toys she had with them. There had been a few complaints from elves who had lost kin in Alqualonde once news spread that the new elfling was Feanaro's child. Lord Irmo had to make it clear that like every other elf in Lorien to heal, Mornel was a guest of his and under his protection.
"Aunt, will you be visiting my amil today?"
"Aye. I will be passing that way after visiting the huts." Mornel had a cot in her aunt's rooms rather than share a common ward with the other patients. When Mornel first came, Lord Irmo felt the arrangement necessary to ensure that her presence did not upset his other patients. Despite the initial unhappiness, most of the patients had grown used to seeing the child tagging along at her aunt's skirts or exercising her weak leg under the careful guidance of Irmo's helpers.
"May I come, please?"
"Sure, only if you promise to be quiet," Findis replied.
Soon after her arrival in Lorien, the strain of bearing and raising her child without her soul-mate caused Nerdanel to fall into a deep sleep. Lord Irmo had assured them that it was a sleep of healing and that given time she would awake. For now, Nerdanel slumbered for weeks on end, awaking on the rare occasion for an hour or so before slumbering again. Those bouts of wakefulness were sufficient to reassure her parents that she would not tread the path of Miriel Serinde. Mornel had visited her previously with her aunt but her amil had been in slumber then.
"I will bring the checkers Olorin gave me for the brothers Tinwion. I can't play them alone." And Findis was often busy. The brothers were two youths who had witnessed their parents' deaths at Alqualonde as elflings. The trauma had robbed them of their voices. Their kin had packed them off to Lorien to heal. Their first reaction to Mornel was to pelt her with their wooden cups and pillows until their Maia minders stopped them. Mornel's innocent charm had won them over in the end and the youths started to look forward to her visits. The healer Maia in charge of their hut informed Findis that the brothers had also lost on that fateful day a younger sister of Mornel's age to a stray arrow in the chaos. Mornel's visits did them some good. The younger had made some attempt to speak the other day to ask for some water before reverting to gestures. The older brother's tantrums had lessened.
"I hear from the others that they lost their parents at Alqualonde during the Darkening… were they slain by Moringotto as Grandfather was? What happened at Alqualonde, Aunt?"
She does not know yet. Findis thought sadly. "Come, child, we have much to do before visiting your amil. Go get a stout walking stick in case you get weary."
The younger of the Tinwion brothers smiled when Findis and Mornel came into their hut. The dark circles about his eyes spoke of troubled dreams. The elder boy was whittling away at a piece of wood. Still, he acknowledged their visitors with a curt nod. There were precious little for the patients to amuse themselves with in the huts. Mornel shyly presented her little gift to the older youth. He nodded but did not smile. Mornel placed the checkers on the table. Findis spoke calmly to the younger brother who reclined on his cot, checking his pulse and other signs. She bade him open his mouth so that she could peer down his throat. She repeated the same with the elder brother. In the throes of their nightmares, the brothers were known to scream themselves hoarse and cause their throats to bleed. The Maia in charge of their hut had already treated the scratches the pair inflicted on their flesh with healing salves.
While Findis carried out her examinations of the other patients in the healing hut, the older boy finished his whittling and held out a carved swan to the child.
"It's beautiful…" Mornel gasped. The swan had its wings outspread, as if ready to take flight from the water. It's yours. The carver pressed the carving into Mornel's hand and closed her small fingers about it. A shadow fell over her. A large hand slapped the gift out of her hand and sent it clattering across the mosaic tiles.
"She's the daughter of the elf who killed your parents, my nephew. Have you forgotten that day in Alqualonde?" a tall elf with silvery hair growled as he took hold of the youth's collar and shook him hard. The younger brother gave a high-pitched cry like a wounded bird. The Maia minders came running.
"Fie! She is likewise a guest of Lord Irmo, just as your nephews. Reel in your temper! You are forbidden from harming the patients by order of Lord Irmo."
Terrified by the commotion, the elfling ran for the sheltering arms of her aunt. Findis held her niece close until her trembling sobs ceased.
"Accursed Kinslayers…" the Telerin elf spat as the Maiar escorted him out of the hut and the gardens. The rest of the helpers went about settling the alarmed patients. Findis took her leave of her colleagues and took Mornel by the hand, leading her out onto the path to her amil's hut.
"A-Aunt… what's a K-Kinslayer? Why is that ner so angry with us? What did my atto do at Alqualonde?" Mornel asked.
Findis took a deep breath to steady herself before continuing. She would not hide the truth from Mornel any longer. "A kinslayer is one of the Eldar who kills another of his people. I was not there when the Kinslaying happened."
"Atto was. And my brothers…" Mornel stated matter-of-factly as she wiped her tears. "Why? Why did they need to kill?"
"They say the Teleri refused to ferry the Noldor host across the sea in their ships and a fight broke out. You will have to ask your uncle what happened. Although he came upon the docks after the Kinslaying, he might know better…"
"D-did many die like the Tinwions' parents?"
"Sadly, yes. Many of the elves here have lost kin or were wounded during the Kinslaying. Mornel, whatever they say, you are you. The blame is with Feanaro, not you… Most of the elves understand this, but some like the Tinwions' uncle… and your Aunt Anaire…"
"Why did atto do it?" the elfling scrunched up her brow in thought. Her brother Pityo had called their atto mad. Had he been mad then?
"Indeed, why? Your atar was a difficult elf to understand. Perhaps his temper and pride got the better of his common sense that day," Findis mused. "It might have been different if it had been Nolofinwe or Arafinwe who had arrived at Alqualonde first… Look, here we are…" They had arrived at Nerdanel's hut.
Findis ushered her niece into a room. Within, Nerdanel reclined wanly in a single bed. She was awake but just barely. She gave a weak smile to her daughter.
"Amme," Mornel hesitantly approached the bed. Findis helped her law-sister sit up.
"Mornel, are you well?" Nerdanel's voice was barely a whisper. The child nodded.
"Uncle Arafinwe takes such good care of me. Aunt Findis is here studying healing…"
"How's your leg, Mornel? I dreamt you had a terrible accident…" Even in the throes of her illness, a mother would be aware of any threat to her child.
"I am so much better now, see?" Mornel spun around but her weak leg failed her then and she fell onto her rump.
"She will be able to return to Tirion soon, if she takes care of that leg," Findis added as she helped her niece up.
"That's nice… I dreamt Pityo and Fea…" Nerdanel's voice trailed off and her eyes became unfocused. She was falling back into slumber. Already, the Maia minder was at the door, urging her visitors to leave.
"Will my amil ever recover?" Mornel asked quietly. She was leaning heavily on her stick as they picked their way back to their own hut. Perhaps her leg was not that strong yet. Findis promised herself to soak that limb in warm water with healing herbs and massage it with a soothing oil before the child went to bed.
"She will, in Lord Irmo and Lady Este's care…" Findis tried to sound reassuring but failed.
"It's not fair… Atto and my brothers had to take that stupid Oath… and the poor elves at Alqualonde…" The bottled-up frustrations overflowed and the tears came hard and fast. The strain of keeping up a cheerful front despite the whispers and her slow healing was too much for the little elfling. "Why didn't the Valar stop them from making that Oath and stop the Kinslaying from happening? Then there would be no Doom and everyone would be happy, right?" Findis had no answer to give her niece.
"Things were not that simple. The Eldar were given free will by Eru and a choice by the Valar," Olorin stepped out from the shadows of a stately elm. "Your atto was given a choice to turn back and seek forgiveness from the Valar. He chose to continue his pursuit of Moringotto."
"I do not understand…"
"Perhaps in time you will, child. Now, go with your aunt."
"What exactly happened at Alqualonde? Master Olorin, please! Could you tell me?"
"If you wish to know," Olorin coughed. "You may go visit your grandmother Miriel at Vaire's Hall when they open the halls to air their new tapestries in a sennight's time. You will not get another chance to view them for another yeni. Oh, and you are you, Mornel. Not just Curufinwe's daughter. You too have free will to make what you will of your life."
Author's Notes:
Mornel is starting to feel the strain of those whispers and gossip about her atto even in the calming Gardens of Lorien. Who could blame her?
Moringotto – one of the Quenya names for Morgoth (Sindarin) considered by Tolkien but never adopted into canon.
