Hi all! So, this one was a pain to write but thanks to Marvel-Tolkien Fangirl and her brilliant suggestions, I was able to push through. I've left Jane's trial with the Unknown unwritten as I think it best for you all to decide for yourselves what she saw. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter (as per usual).

Song of the Chapter: Bloody Mary ~ Lady Gaga

I know, odd choice. It happened to play on Pandora and I thought it set the mood fairly well. Something about foreboding and darker tone of the song (and some of the lyrics) fit the chapter. Just ignore my odd choice of music if you want.


Chapter 10

Comfortably Anguished

"All lives end. All hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage."

-Mark Gatiss


One hour, there was only one hour left before Jane's challenge. Freyja paced back and forth in her chambers, guilt gnawing at her conscious at what was to occur. She did not agree with Odin's challenge, but she could do nothing to counter it. Asgard's law required the father of the princes to set a task before their possible wife to determine their worth. It was one of the few aspects of the Realm Eternal that she disapproved of, but she could not speak against it.

Jane would face the Unknown for three hours, locked in a room alone with the demon. She was to prove her bravery in this way. But for Odin to expect the astrophysicist to remain silent through the trial was outlandish. Many Æsir would find the task too daunting and Freyja believed, if she was in the mortal's place, that not even she could withstand such. And for Jane to have no idea whatsoever of her expectations, it was nigh impossible.

Had Odin not demanded her oath of silence, she would have told Jane everything. It felt wrong to leave the woman helpless against an unfair task. Thor would be heartbroken if she failed and she feared what it would do to the slowly healing family. Now she truly could not tell Jane without dying a painful death and becoming a Shade, a dark specter that an oath-breaker became. Sometimes, she felt like a prisoner in Asgard, bound by its laws and beliefs. And yet she was freer than she had been in Vanaheim.

Dismayed with her inability to help her friend, Freyja collapsed into her sofa and closed her eyes. She was helpless, which was an emotion she loathed. She had been helpless when Animi had died, helpless when she was taken by Thanos, and helpless when her people were slaughtered in their own homes. She wasn't sure which was worse: being helpless to save her friends or being too powerful to keep from harming them.

"Feeling unwell?"

She opened her eyes to see Loki gazing worriedly at her.

"I will leave, if peace is what you seek."

She shook her head, "Peace will evade me whether you are here or not. I have not seen peace since…I'm not even sure. Perhaps I have never known peace."

He sat down on the edge of the seat, "Tell me what troubles you."

"It matters not. Nothing can change this path."

"Speaking your anxieties has never wounded anyone before. Besides, I may be able to aid you."

"There is nothing I can-" she stopped as she processed his words. "Of course."

"Come again?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She sat up to face him completely, "I can do nothing in this matter, but you have the ability to say what I cannot."

"…Are you referring to lies?"

"No. I mean the truths that I cannot speak. Jane is in danger."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Odin's task," she clarified.

His brows knitted together as he thought on her words, "Surely Odin would not place too difficult of a task before her."

"I need you to warn Jane of her task or she will never see immortality."

"What would you have me say?"

And here lay the tricky part of her gamble. She needed something that would warn Jane and yet keep the details secret. The fewer words, the better, and yet that caused too many problems to count.

"You must tell her not to scream," she replied finally. "Warn her not to make a sound during her test. She cannot allow what she perceives to frighten her."

His eyes narrowed slightly, "What is it that Jane must do, Freyja?"

"I cannot tell you, but know that if she is not aware of this, Thor will not be content."

"I should go to her," he sighed. "Will you be alright?"

"So long as I know you are warning her, I shall be content."

He nodded, even though he knew it was a half-truth. She would be as content as the scenario allowed her and no more. Something was amiss and she did not approve of it. And so he left her room in hopes that her worries would subside if he told Jane the warning. It was not very helpful if he dissected it, but he supposed it meant more than he could see.

He found Jane alone in Frigga's garden, reading a book on basic magic and how it related to science. It was a tome Freyja had translated for her, knowing the woman would enjoy learning how the two interwove. The slight twitch of Loki's finger was the only sign that gave away the concealment charm he had placed over them. He received a suspicious glance when Jane noticed him approaching. She might have come unglued when he sat down beside her had he not kept his expression somber.

"Can I help you with something, Loki?"

She wondered what Freyja saw in him, why the goddess of love and beauty would find happiness in the god of chaos and lies. He could see it in her aura. Mortals were often the easiest to read. And after the feather incident, she kept a wary eye on him. He would have to choose his words wisely if he wanted her to believe him.

He closed the book in her hands gently, "Jane, I understand you do not trust me. And perhaps my jokes have been in poor taste, but I need you to listen very carefully now."

"I'm not sure I have time for a chat, Loki. The trial is in less than half an hour and I really should be focusing."

"Your test is the reason I have come," he replied. "Freyja is bound by her words from warning you herself, so I must be the one to do this."

He paused to see if she would reply, but she only watched him anxiously. With a silent thanks that Thor had chosen a woman who had the capacity to stop and listen, he continued.

"I cannot say exactly what you will face in the challenge Odin has set before you, as I do not know, but I can give you one warning. No matter what you think you hear, see, or feel, you cannot make a sound. Do not so much as whimper or all shall be lost. For your sake and Thor's, do not scream."

"How do I know you're not lying to make me lose?"

"What would motivate me to do such?" he asked, taken aback.

"If I lose, Odin will send me back to Earth and make Thor stay away from me. He would be devastated."

Loki's anger skyrocketed at the idea, causing it to get the better of him, "Listen well, mortal. Thor is a soft-hearted oaf but I will not tolerate his bereavement caused by your separation. Odin's decision would crush him and I will not allow it. The only one allowed to torment Thor is me. No one else is allowed to harm a hair on his head. Do you understand?"

"Oh," she breathed, before grinning. "Oh."

"What?" he asked, confused at her sudden change.

"Darcy was right about you. You don't hate Thor. You pretend to be cruel because, deep down, you love him."

"Watch your words, woman-"

"You're exactly what Darcy said: a hard, sour apple-flavored shell wrapped around a soft caramel center."

By the Wise One, she babbles nonsense which rivals even that of Stark, he thought to himself. Sighing in exasperation, he tried one last time.

"Jane, I can tell you no more than to keep silent throughout your trial. I have no more to-"

"Lady Jane."

Both looked up to see one of the guards approaching. He stopped before them and bowed, though the gesture seemed to be directed more towards Jane than Loki.

"Your challenge is at hand, milady," said the guard. "The Allfather requests that you come to his study immediately."

"Alright," she said, standing up to follow.

Loki took hold of her wrist and whispered into her ear, "Do not scream. Convalescas, Jane."

The mortal woman looked puzzled at the unfamiliar word but didn't make a remark as Loki let her go. He watched, feeling oddly guilty, as she followed the guard away. Though he knew nothing of what she would face, he hoped his blessing would come true. She would need strength for whatever Odin had in mind.


Loki watched as the two people closest to him sat in the library, looking far from at ease and very preoccupied. It had been nearly six hours since Jane had gone to complete her task and he could feel the anxiety rolling off of Freyja. She was working away at a desk, but she was not paying attention to the text before her as she tapped her fingers against the wood in what he knew was the Vaniric time-keeping system. Thor sat by the fire, staring at it as if they had committed a terrible wrong against him. It was almost unbearable. The silence refused to let him brush off his own worry for Thor's mortal. And that was intolerable.

"Should I expect a large wedding?" he asked suddenly, hoping to start a conversation.

Both Freyja and Thor looked up at him blankly as if he had grown a second head.

"You always did have a proclivity for large celebrations," he continued.

Thor returned his attention to the fire, "There is a possibility of there not being a wedding. Do you truly believe Jane can surpass whatever Odin has set before her?"

Freyja gave Loki a pleading look, unable to answer honestly when there wasn't a sincere reply. So he was left to do what he did best. Lie.

"I'm certain she will be just fine," he reassured. "You have both underestimated that woman. Enough of this moping, Thor. It's unbecoming of you. I want to know just how many noblemen I shall avoid at your wedding."

Thor managed a smile at that, "Jane feels uncomfortable with a large crowd attending our wedding, so there will be only close friends and family."

"So much for a small crowd," Freyja muttered, throwing Loki a wry smile.

"And what of our own wedding, Freyja? Shall we have a traditional Vanaheim ceremony, or an Asgardian celebration?"

Thor stared at both of them in shock for a full three minutes, "You two are going to be wed?"

"We have no plans just yet, but it will come," Loki replied. "She already accepted."

Before Freyja could put in her own opinion, Thor had leapt up and pulled her into a rib-crushing hug. She couldn't help the chuckle as he spun her around and dropped her on her feet once more.

"When was this decided?" he asked, looking back and forth between the two.

"He asked immediately after the Sigyn affair concluded," she replied.

His face fell slightly, "Why has no one told me? Have I not the right to know when my brother has found a wife?"

"I would have preferred to announce it when we have the ring," Loki replied.

"Whatever happened to it?" Freyja asked, curious as to the time it was taking.

Loki's posture stiffened before he managed to mutter something incomprehensible.

"What?"

"Per errorem miscuit," he replied in a louder voice.

She couldn't help the small smile that spread across her lips at his words. I made a mistake. It was something he only ever admitted to her, but she wouldn't patronize him for it.

"Quod est licuit," she replied. "I can be patient."

Thor looked vaguely miffed at them, "Will you please speak in a language I can understand?"

"We will from here on out," she told him.

"You never did answer my question."

"I would prefer to keep to my traditions, but I have no qualms with an Asgardian wedding."

"Is it true that after the bonding ceremony, I will no longer need to consume Idunn's apples for immortality?"

"It will no longer be necessary," she replied. "Come to think of it, the unique bond forged when your awakening nearly took your life may have already taken care of that."

Thor glanced at his brother with raised eyebrows, examining him as if proof of the possibility was visible. Loki frowned thoughtfully before opening his mouth to ask another question. The sound of a bell chiming caused them all to look towards the door in apprehension. Not a word was spoken between them, but they all stood up and rushed out the door.

A small crowd had gathered by the doorway to the room of Jane's trial, watching as the Allfather waved his hand over the lock on the door. He was using borrowed magic, Freyja knew, from his wife. He had long since traded his aura to the Norns and so his colorless magic was channeled from Frigga. Many Asgardians did not believe he used magic because of this, but those closest to the family knew the truth. Jane did not come through as the door swung open.

"Lady Freyja," a familiar voice whispered at her shoulder.

She turned to see a man who was slightly thinner than most Asgardians, though just as tall. His features were softer as if belonging to a child's face. Soft, golden curls framed his head like a halo, contrasting greatly with his dark gray eyes. But she knew this face. It had been many years, but she would always recognize him.

"Ottar," she breathed. "I have not seen you around the palace of late."

He smiled, "I no longer work in the kitchens. I own a bakery in Warrior's Square, now. I had heard you had returned. Do you think Lady Jane is alright?"

Freyja glanced at the still empty doorway with worry, "Something is wrong."

"Should she not have exited by now?"

"Exactly my point," she said, walking forward and through the door.

She ignored the sound of the guards warning her off as well as Odin holding back his son who wanted nothing more than to follow. She was only worried for Jane, not caring what would happen to her. It was far too dark within the confines of the walls, but she could still feel the presence of fear demon as well as Jane's. Cold fingers ghosted across her shoulders and she leapt away. The same resonating voice chuckled at her response but seemed to drift away.

"Jane?"

There was no answer. She was beginning to get worried for the mortal woman. The demon wouldn't physically wound her, but some of the weaker races had been known to die of heart failure in its presence. Tired of the dark, she conjured blue flames to see.

Jane was huddled into one of the far corners, brown eyes blown wide and shaking. She had her arms wrapped around her legs as she hugged them to her chest in attempt for comfort. She flinched away as Freyja approached.

"Jane," she whispered, kneeling down. "It's over. There's nothing to fear."

The woman slowly looked at her, a primal sort of fear blazing in her eyes. Freyja had never seen anything like it. It was almost animalistic. She put a hand on Jane's shoulder.

"Come with me. Thor is waiting for you."

There was the slightest flicker of recognition in her eyes and suddenly Jane was clinging to her. She helped the woman walk towards the door, all the while feeling the eyes of the demon on her. Five steps from the door, something brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear and whispered softly.

"Your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness," it hissed. "And you're murderer knows that all too well."

She ignored the demon, not rising to the bait, but it chuckled despite her silence. She focused on taking Jane outside to where a large portion of Asgard waited. Thor rushed forward just before they reached the door, having apparently gotten past his father. He took Jane gently, whispering soothingly as she stared off into the distance. It troubled Freyja that she had so little response to what was going on. She placed a hand on Thor's shoulder and he turned to face her.

"Spare me five minutes with Jane to ensure she will have no psychological damage from this," she said, almost pleading.

He opened his mouth to reply before looking down at Jane and nodding. Freyja pried Jane's fingers off of Thor and led her down the hall towards his chambers. Most of the onlookers and servants moved aside when they passed by, marveling at the mortal's ability to endure the fear demon so long without making a sound. They were not hindered as they made their way to Thor's chambers but Freyja felt guiltier and more worried with every passing second.

When they reached Thor's chambers, Freyja locked the door quickly behind them and had Jane lay down on the bed. The woman's eyes darted around the room rapidly but she still did not utter a word. She placed two fingers on Jane's temple and gently probed at the mortal's consciousness with her own mind. The fear demon had broken down any defense that had previously been there and Jane's mentality had all but folded in on itself so that Freyja waded through emptiness before finding anything.

She sifted through the memories quickly, only pausing long enough to determine if they were the most recent ones but not long enough to learn more about what life Jane had lived. Out of respect, she kept from looking into Jane's memories of her trial. However, she pulled them away from the others and mentally filtered them to the back of Jane's mind. She would only be troubled by them if she concentrated on them very carefully. It was the least Freyja could do after bringing the demon in the first place. She then worked on transferring her own relative calm into Jane's mind.

Very slowly, Jane's psyche began to unfurl to its usual state. Where Asgardians often had unaccountably compartmentalized minds and Vanir had free chaos, humans seemed to have tottering piles of knowledge and memory from which small fractions disappeared and reappearing at random. As Jane began to stir, Freyja pulled herself away to her own mind and broke the contact altogether.

"Are you feeling well, Jane?" she asked, keeping her voice low.

Jane sat up slowly, "A bit better but not exactly…well."

"I am sorry for what you were forced to suffer."

"I don't blame you, Freyja. It wasn't your fault."

Freyja looked away as she stood up, "I will send in Thor and leave you two time to speak."

"Freyja?" Jane called as her fingers touched the door.

"Yes?"

"Tell Loki I said thanks, will you?"

She nodded in reply before opening the door and walking through. Thor was already waiting on the other side, looking more worried than he had while Jane was still within the room. He stood up straight as she walked out, gazing at her anxiously.

"Is Jane alright?"

She could barely meet his blue eyes as she answered, too guilt-ridden from being the cause of it, "She will need rest, but she will be perfectly fine by tomorrow morn."

Thor smiled in relief, "Thank you."

"Do not thank me Thor," she replied. "I do not deserve your gratitude."

She didn't stay to hear his reply. It had been true what the demon had said, she would hurt those closest to her and there was little she could do to protect them. She needed someone to listen to what troubled her as she walked through the halls. Her two options were her brother and Loki. But her brother was still recuperating and she did not want to burden him further. So she walked towards the courtyard where she knew Loki went to practice magic when troubled.

She froze in the archway at what sight greeted her as she reached the edge of the courtyard. Loki and Kenna were sitting opposite of each other in the center of the gardens, manipulating small flames that sat in the palms of their hands. Both seemed to be smiling. Dark, murky red tendrils fell from Kenna's hand, mingling with the deep green of Loki's aura.

"You seem to be naturally gifted in magic, despite lack of proper training," Loki said, tone grudgingly admiring. "Though I suppose this is due to your heritage."

"I've always had a particular penchant for sorcery despite how my mother hated it."

"You could be quite adept if you find a master willing to teach you."

"Where would I find a master of magic willing to teach me?"

Loki hesitated before answering, "I could do so, if you would like."

Freyja's jaw clenched as she watched the pair, feeling irrational jealousy for the first time in her life. This was the woman who could have everything she could not. Fate demanded her death, and yet Kenna was the one who was foretold to replace her. To think that she and Loki could bond over what was the connection they shared tore at her heart. And yet she could not deny Loki the chance when she was doomed to a path separate from his. It tormented her that her own selfishness could drive her to such.

Just as Kenna opened her mouth to speak again, a voice spoke softly from behind her.

"Lady Princess?"

Freyja turned to see Ottar standing a few feet behind her, a welcoming smile on his face.

"Yes, Ottar?" she replied, walking towards him to keep from disturbing Loki and Kenna.

"I was just leaving the palace and saw you there," he said. "I thought you looked troubled and simply wondered if you would like to walk with me."

She managed a weak smile, "I would be delighted."

She quickly fell into stride next to him, trying to force her mind away from the courtyard as she did. Ottar watched her from the corner of his eyes but kept his face mostly forward.

"How is Lady Jane faring?"

"She is tired from her trial but will be right as rain by morning."

"That is good to hear. How amazing that she will be the first queen of Asgard to hail from Midgard."

"It is indeed."

He turned his head to her fully then, "I have heard you have been to Midgard quite a few times in your time away from Asgard."

"It has always held a certain charm in my eyes. The humans have the odd capability to burn brighter than immortals. Something in their mortality causes them to live life more fully than the rest of us."

"I'm afraid I do not understand."

"Not many do."

"Freyja, are you worried with the Vanir who murdered Lady Sigyn?"

"Of course I am worried," she replied. "Asgard is the only home I have left. Besides, all those I hold dear are in jeopardy with the murderer walking the streets."

He nodded carefully as they walked out into the city streets, "I do not understand the motive behind these murders. What reason would a Vanir have to harm Lady Sigyn?"

"I haven't the slightest idea," she sighed. "Little in this murder makes sense."

"Might I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course, Ottar," she answered, taken aback by his hesitation. "We may be of different social classes but I consider you a friend and equal and hope you see me in the same light."

He blushed slightly, "Your kindness has always known no bounds."

"As has yours."

"You are a princess and deserve my respect."

"I would hope it is more than that," she said with a laugh.

"Of course it is!" he exclaimed. "I have always admired your compassion and kindness."

"I truly wish you would not praise me so, I am far from infallible. And I believe there was a question you had."

"Yes, right. I will be blunt. Something seems to be troubling you deeply and I do not believe it is Lady Jane or Lady Sigyn's murder. Is there something far greater that is distressing you?"

"You have no need to concern yourself with me," she answered. "I am perfectly capable of handling my own troubles."

"Then let it be known that if you ever need anyone to confide in, I would willingly volunteer."

"I will keep that in mind. But might I ask you a personal question in return?"

"Anything, milady."

"Did you decide to court Aileth in my absence?"

Something in Ottar's eyes hardened, "I did, but she did not return my affection."

"What happened?"

"She ran off with one of the palace guards."

"I am sorry," she said quietly, remembering when she had discussed their relationship with Loki.

"There is no need for you to apologize. Nothing could be done."

She nodded, "Is there no other woman?"

"There is one other, but she is courting another."

"Perhaps there is a chance to win her over."

"I think it would be foolish on my account."

"And why is that?"

"Well, he happens to-" Ottar cut off as an ungodly cry pierced through the air. "What was that?"

She turned to face the direction of the sound, "I may have an idea, but I hope I am incorrect."

They both dashed off in the direction of the scream, both curious and disconcerted at what it might be. As they turned a corner, Freyja had to clap her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming.

With his nose bloodied and limbs convulsing, Erland lay sprawled across the cobblestone road. He gazed up at the sky with blind eyes and an open mouth but no sound fell from his lips.

"Find the guards," she told Ottar, sending him running back towards the palace.

She rushed toward her friend delving into his crumbling mind in hopes of saving him. His nails dug into the skin on her arms as if it would keep him from leaving the world, but she ignored the pain.

"Erland. I need you to hold on, alright? The guards are coming and we can heal you.

His arms shook as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her down towards him. She could feel his shaky breath against her ear and feel his frantic thoughts shattering and reforming repeatedly.

"Blue eyes," he hissed. "Not silver."

"What?"

"Blue…eyes," he repeated. "Bright blue."

She shook her head, "Do not waste your energy. Hold on and the Healers will-"

"Freyja," he sighed. "Vrede vir julle."

Not two seconds after the unfamiliar words were whispered, the light faded from his strange white-silver eyes and his mind fell away completely. Her hands shook as she pulled him closer, staring into his blank eyes as if it would bring him back.

"No," she whispered. "Erland, please."

She felt hot tears roll down her cheeks but she could not tear her eyes away from his body. With unsteady fingers, she closed his eyes and cradled his head. He had done so much for her and this was what he was repaid with. And it was her fault that he had come to Asgard to begin with.

As one of her hands fell to his chest, something crackled in his cloak. Looking up, she ran her fingers over the area to find that something thin was lying underneath. She shifted his cloak to reveal a small piece of parchment with a single rune written upon it. Ultio, vengeance.

The guards arrived to find her staring at Erland with the scrap of parchment in her hands. Loki pulled her away gently as the guards picked up the corpse. She didn't pay attention to the walk back to the palace, nor the words Loki sent her way. Only two things ran through her mind in an endless circle.

Revenge and blue eyes.


If any of you want to know what Kenna and Loki said after Freyja left or what Erland's words meant, just ask. I will happily tell you. The same goes for any other questions. :)